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In Memory of Natalie Fay ~ April 21, 2008

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in-memory

This is another Golden Oldie.  I’m not sure when it was last written or updated by Natalie but it was updated by me after she died April 21, 2008.

~~

Hi! My name is Natalie, I am 35 years old and I’ve been married for 15 years. I don’t have any children at this time, but we are in the process of adopting. We can hardly wait for our little one to show up on our doorstep. We live down in southern Maryland at this time. I grew up in southern Virginia on a farm. My Dad is still farming; he raises peanuts, corn and soybeans. He has had 2 battles with colon cancer and is still hanging in there. He gives me inspiration. I have my Mom and Grandmother still living home on the farm too and we get there as often as we can. My sister lives near by my parents and has 2 boys. They spend a portion of every summer with us.

There is so much to tell, I really don’t know where to start. I had my official diagnosis in Jan. of 1990. But after all of the information I have learned over the years, I fully believe that it could have started as early as childhood. We will never know for sure.

When I graduated from high school in 1983, I was a happy go lucky teenager with a steady boy friend and many friends. My first year of college was great. I had a lot of fun and thought I had made so many new friends. Joe (boyfriend then, now my husband) left for Marine Corps Boot Camp in the spring of 1984. That was hard but I adjusted fine and was glad to see him come home that summer. In the fall when it was time to go back to school I was a different person. I withdrew from my friends and I pretty much kept to myself. After a weekend visit from Joe, I slipped into a deep depression. I stopped going to class and to work. My so-called friends didn’t want anything to do with me. I started having headaches and dizzy spells. I was really scared. No one knew what I was feeling or would even try to understand. I ended up dropping out of school and went back home. I didn’t want a job; I just stayed home and did baby-sitting jobs. My nephew was born in August of 1985 and I took care of him full time until Joe and I was married in June of 1986.

On our wedding day I cried all through the picture taking. I was very happy but cried anyway. We went to the Blue Ridge Mountains for our honeymoon, I got stung by a bee, got a speeding ticket, and we had no air conditioning in our truck. It was truly one to remember. We came back and moved to North Carolina, where Joe was stationed at the time, and I cried for the next 2 weeks. I had never been that far away from home before.

As a child I had a bad case of asthma and now all of a sudden I’m having no problems. Little did I know that my body was treating itself with cortisol. In Jan. of 1987 I had a doctor’s appointment with my Allergist.

I was told then that I had High Blood pressure and to keep check on it. I was also beginning to be very emotional around this time. I would cry over nothing.

I started having migraine headaches while Joe was away on a deployment. My parents came and took me to the ER and because I had not been able to eat for 3 days and I was living in the dark because the sunlight was killing my head. Again I was told that it was High Blood pressure. Joe came home and left again in June for 6 months on the ship. I moved home and didn’t have any problems that summer. I moved back to Carolina in the fall so that I could get our house ready for Joe’s home coming. The real nerve racking part was that Joe’s ship was part of the mine sweeping going on in the Persian Gulf during 1987.

1988 was a pretty good year. Not too many problems except for headaches. But 1989 is a different story. I fell apart this year. In the spring I broke out in this strange rash that wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t find a doctor that could tell me what it was. Not long after that my periods stopped, we were really excited thinking that we were finally going to have a baby, WRONG! I went 3 months without a cycle; I still had the rash, headaches and high blood pressure. You would think that this would have alerted my OB GYN that something was wrong. Joe came home one day and found me doubled over and took me to the ER and we found out that I had kidney stones. Over all this time I am steady gaining weight. The stones passed and then tests were done and everything was fine there. Finally I decided to go to see Dermatology for the rash and was treated for severe acne. On my second visit with them the doctor took a look at my entire medical record and excused himself from the room. A few minutes later he returned with a doctor from Internal medicine, he took one look at me and said that I was the classic Cushing’s case. Then he went on to explain it to me. This was in Nov.1989. The tests began and I had a CT Scan done in Dec of that year that I didn’t get the results from until after Christmas. They showed a tumor on the pituitary and I was told to go to Portsmouth Naval Hospital right away. We took off and headed to Virginia not knowing what to expect. I was admitted the next day and had a week of peeing in a jug and lots of bloodwork. I was sent home with my surgery scheduled for Feb. 1990. Well, being the Navy, my surgeon was called away and my surgery was delayed until March.

I had transphenoidal surgery in March 1990 and they removed what they could but it had invaded the sinus cavity and they couldn’t get it all. I was sent home on hydrocortizone and had 2 episodes where my cortisol levels dropped too low and had to go the ER. Once I was weaned off I was okay and actually felt pretty good. I had monthly 24-hour urine tests run and they began to come back high again. I was put back in the hospital in Portsmouth and all the tests came back normal. I was sent home and a couple of months later they were high again. Again I went to the hospital and sent home normal. What’s going on here? The next time this happened I demanded that something be done. The head of the Endo dept. (I won’t mention any names, but Handiman knows him personally) tried to tell me that I was faking it so that my husband wouldn’t have to go the Desert Storm. I talked on of the interns to schedule me for an appt with the radiation oncologist and they determined that the tumor was still growing and that I needed to have radiation. Joe was scheduled to go to the desert but he was pulled from that duty and assigned to recruiter’s asst. and we moved to Virginia to my parent’s home for 60 days while I underwent 31 days of traditional radiation to the pituitary. I went back to Carolina feeling more at ease that something had been done. The rash went away but I continued to gain weight and still had Blood pressure problem, but was now being treated for it.

I was doing really well and Joe went away again for 6 months in Oct.1991. He was gone that Christmas, which was hard but I handled it ok. When he returned he had orders to go to Atlanta, GA. I was doing well and we packed up and went. I didn’t like the endo I saw there so I continued my 6-month check ups in Portsmouth when went home to visit.

In the summer of 1994, I started having problems with my left eye and thought it was allergies. I went to the eye doctor and after examining me he sent me to a Neuro Ophthalmologist who ordered a MRI and guess what The Tumor’s back! It was pressing on the optic nerve causing what they called a third nerve palsy. I was treated with medication until Jan 1995, hoping that the tumor would shrink but it got worse. I began to have double vision and my left eye closed completely. In the spring of 95 I again underwent Transphenoidal surgery at Emory University under  Dr. Oyesiku. He was great. I also had a great endo there, Dr. Lewis Blevins (he is at Vanderbilt in Tenn. Now). They still could not retract the entire tumor so I went back in August of that year and had Sterotactic Radiation Surgery. That was a one time radiation and it was a real experience. I had a metal Halo drilled into my head and I had CT scans and MRIs done with it one to determine the exact location of the tumor, then I was placed in a chair that spun in very slow circles while the radiation was being done. When I arrived back in my room they couldn’t find the key to take the halo off, so I had to wear it for another 2 hours until they found it.

It has now been almost 6 years since the last radiation and my current MRIs show some shrinkage of the tumor. I am currently battling high cortisol levels again but I think if we can find the right dosage of medicine it will level off. I am currently taking meds for: thyroid, high blood pressure, estrogen, diabetes, medication to control cortisol, allergy medication and every 3 months I take hormones to make me have a menstrual cycle. But over all I am doing OK.

My husband is out of the Marine Corps now and we live in Maryland. We are in the process of Adopting. We are really excited about this and can hardly wait to get our little one. My husband and Family have been so supportive of me through all of these years and I don’t know what I would have done without them and my close friends.

I feel like I have made many friends here also. This site has been a great help to me and I hope that my story can help someone else.

Take Care everyone!

Natalie

~~

MaryO Note: Natalie had a BLA in March, 2008. She died April 21, 2008.
In Memoriam

Natalie Fay

Monday, April 21, 2008

Natalie Fay (Natalie65), died April 21, 2008. She was only 42 and had recently had a BLA. I first met Natalie at a local lunch in November of 2001 and have seen her several times
since then.

Natalie started the original “Dammit Dolls” that circulated around the country until people refused to pass them along anymore.

Some recent past posts.

February 10, 2008

going to UVA I am going for my first visit with Dr. Hanks at
UVA on the 20th. I will also see Dr. Vance that day. I haven’t seen her before
either. I am planning on having bilateral adrenal surgery in March. I am a
little nervous about this, but it is going to be a positive thing I hope. I
would love to hear from anyone who has had this done so that I will have an idea
of what to expect. after surgery.

Thanks! Natalie

March 18, 2008

surgery update Hey everyone!

I’m back! It has been a
very slow week and I’m just satrting to feel like moving around again. I had BLA
on the 10th and came home on friday. My parents have taken my boys (3 & 6)
home to Va. I have missed them so much this week, but I think it was the right
thing to do. I don’t know how I would have done it without them. I am still very
sore and tired at times, but I’m coming along. Sorry this has taken so long to
get out to you guys, I thought things were taken care of but I was wrong. Oh
Well! I’m doing good and I’ll keep in touch. Thanks for all of your thoughts and
prayers.

Natalie

Message Board Signature:

pit surgery 1990
traditional 30 days
radiation 1990
pit surgery 1995
sterotactic radiation surgery 1995
2004
still have remaining tumor
cortisol levels still off balance
BLA March 10,
2008


Tributes and Memories on the message boards…


Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Linda, Jayne, me and Natalie – all in Cushe Colors [Photographer: Robin]

Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Jayne, Linda, Natalie, MaryO and Dianne [Photographer: Robin]

Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Jayne, Linda, Natalie, MaryO and Dianne [Photographer: TomO]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 all the families [Photographer: Robin]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO [Photographer: Robin]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO [Photographer: Robin]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO. LynneInVa made the roses for us from candles. [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Pat, MaryO, Ruth, Natalie, Susan, Jayne [Photographer: TomO]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Pat, MaryO, Ruth, Natalie, Susan, Jayne [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Joe, Jed and Catherine [Photographer: Robin]

Our three families: Tom and MaryO, Natalie and Joe, Robin and Jayne…and kids [Photographer: a waitress]

Our three families: Tom and MaryO, Natalie and Joe, Robin and Jayne…and kids [Photographer: a waitress]

TomO being silly, stealing Catherine’s nose. [Photographer: Robin]


http://www.wrightfuneralhome.org/index.cfm

Natalie Grissom Fay
(June 11, 1965 – April 21, 2008)


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Courtland, Virginia– Natalie Grissom Fay, 42, passed away April 21, 2008 at St. Mary’s Hospital in Leonardtown, Md. She was born in Petersburg, Va, a daughter of Edward Scott and Nan Lucy Grissom and was a 1983 graduate of Southampton High School. Natalie actively supported several Cushing Support Groups, and was a member of the Patuxent Presbyterian Church. Surviving in addition to her parents is her husband, Joseph P. Fay; two sons, Joseph Edward (Jed) Fay and Nathan Lee Fay all of Hollywood, Md.; one sister, Annette G. Stephenson of Courtland, Va.; two nephews, Scott and Vance Stephenson; and her father-in-law, Edward K. Fay and wife, Sunee, of Deltona, Fl. The funeral will be conducted at 2 pm Friday at Wright Funeral Home with the Rev. Edmund Ellis officiating. Burial will follow in Riverside Cemetery. The family will receive friends from 7 to 9 pm Thursday at the home of Edward and Nan Grissom, 16046 Wakefield Road, Courtland, and suggest that in lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Cushings Help, c/o Mary O’Connor, 4094 Majestic Lane, #328, Fairfax, Va. 22033.

Danielle, Undiagnosed (Cyclical Cushing’s)

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May-Aug 2013 Age 17-18

I started noticing that i was losing weight. My arms and legs looked like toothpicks and i had bruises everywhere. i was fairly active i would run and lift weights everyday minus some weekends. Till i couldnt no more. I became very very weak, i was tired and fatigued all the time no matter how much sleep i got. I would wake up 5-8 times a night to pee, i was constantly hungry. Omgsh never not hungry i could eat and eat and eat but i still wasnt big. I was “too skinny”. My hair started to fall out in clumps , i would get these attacks where i would have insane blurry vision, i would become super pale and my stomach would blow up like a balloon. i would have terrible back and stomach pains , ringing in my ears.I would started shaking,my speech would become slurred and all over the place. I would not be able to walk straight or think clearly. I was very scared and i hated everytime these would happen. They usually hit the more active i was. so if i would run or even jog/ walk for more than 15 min it would hit. i became scared of doing anything

More symptoms: Constipation
drooling
Muscles felt like they were eating them selves
terrible headaches
no period
thirsty!!!!!
Constant! urination
muscle twitches
muscle spasms and jerks
waking up every hour
terrible acid reflux! it would wake me up

SEPT 2013
weight 115-120lbs

I started working for my father at his shop in sept 2013.I did not last very long. I got to the point where i was dying. I was sick every week, my periods had stopped , i would spot every day. I couldnt think AT ALL i felt so stupid. Like i was in a haze , i started getting really bad hypoglycemea ,which made things even worse. Despite eating so much food it would not go away.
I should mention my moods, I have always been more aggressive and loud happy go getter, i noticed that i was extremely irritable.. and jumpy all the time. I would cry for no reason and my anxiety was getting worse and my anger was like never before. One day after days and days of struggling to work, i went to the grocery store with my father , and i was not able to push the shopping cart, i almost fainted and had to have him take me to the car. Mind u my whole family knows me as “the strong one” . I was benching 220 lbs at 14, now i couldnt push a shopping cart. He couldnt believe it and i stopped working a week later. I had too many things going on i knew i had to get them sorted before i could go back to work and then go to collage.

I went to the doc who sent me to an Endocrinologist. She tested me,
LOW GH
LOW FSH
LOW THYROID
HIGH URINE OUTPUT
LOW LH

At this point i just wanted to get fixed. She told me i had to gain weight in order for my sex hormones to bump up and maybe id feeel a bit better. So i docs orders and started to eat, when ever i was hungry.. which was alot.
i came back to see her a month later, and i had gained 35 lbs!My skin was not as dry, still bruising,and terrible headaches but i had way more energy. I thought i was getting better. Little did i know my tests did not show that. I had cortisol levels 7x the normal limit, my urine out put was very high. I did a 24 hour urine test an filled 3 jugs. She suggested maybe diabetes insipidus and also.. a brain tumor. I was kinda freaked when i heard the word tumor but i just wanted to feel normal . As long as i could get help i didnt care.

2014
i did another dex which came back positive for cushings, i had to do one more and my tests suddenly dropped again. After a few more dexa tests coming back neg she ended up dismissing me and told me that i do not have cushings.

Note: I Did have a neg Pituitary mri
and adrenal

I was heartbroken . i thought that this was my way out to finally feel normal or at least ok.
She sent me to another endo who refused to see me. So i started seeing a naturopath, i spent 800$ the first day of seeing her and all those natural supps, dieting recommendations she gave me did not do a thing. TMI I also went to get a colonic and colonoscopy around this time because i just could not go . And i was pooping out blood.They said everything was okay and that it may have been hemmeroids.

2015
Specialists:
ENDO
E.N.T
Nephrologist

My family doctor suggested maybe i have fibro.. then celiac.. then hashimotos.. then maybe MS? She finally sent me to ANOTHER Endo after those tests were NEG , who said he could not help me the first day of meeting him. During this time i was devloping social anxiety .It was very hard for me to talk to people which isnt like me at all. Seeing as i was a social butterfly.My face would go beat red after any little stress i had. i hated it! i had been seeing and E.N.T because i was coughing out blood. They told me i had cysts in my nasal passages and it was nothing to worry about. And that i also have damage in my esophagus due to the acid . She prescribed me Tecta.I even saw a nephrologist because i was constantly thirsty and constantly urinating. He was the worst doc i have ever seen. He told me i knew too much and i walked out because he could not help me.My energy levels were erratic. Some days i would have so much energy and clean clean clean want to run and do everythiing! , other days i would get out of bed and crash very quickly.This was becoming a burden.

2016 Aged :21
Still trying to get help
moved
weight: 165 (gained)
Specialists: Sleeping
Neuro

I became very frustrated and sad of always being let down and disapointed by all these doctors. I kind of gave up for a bit.i saw two last specialists which were sleeping specialist and a neurologist . which did nothing but prescribe me sleeping pills for my insomnia.The neuro did tell me that the symptoms i am having were not caused by cushings, so he started me on topiramate. An antiepileptic drug.

I finally contacted a pituitary specialist downtown toronto. And thank the heavens ! i got an answer! CYCLICAL cushings. He told me im 99% to have cushings i just need one more biochemical confirmation. He have me a T3 MRI of my pituitary which show an enlargment right side pituitary. “One more test and we can go in there and operate” i was ecstatic! so happy to have finally found someone who can help me.

i tested and tested but my results came back Neg, or just a little bit higher. a few months later He told me that he will keep testing me but he does not think it is cushings anymore. Another heartbreak 🙁

2017
moved again
aged 21
Specialists:ENDO

I now have another dexa test and a 24 hour urine.I need this last one and they will operate . during this i am trying to move out to ANY cheap apartment because my father does not help me at all. He makes me much worse and i have no where to go other than his place. He is a big burden and does not understand what im going through at all, i have had two hospital visits this year due to overdose. This is something that i thought i would never do in my entire life, but it happened. I can not handle living like this especially when i have someone putting me down and denying my disease everyday. I am seeing a therapist now and a psychiatrist but the pills they give me do not help when i cannot live my life or work through any of my problems. I have gone to a shelter but this disease does not make it easy for me to live there.I only have my partner helping me right now . ANY donations would be greatly appreciated. !!!!!!!

this is my go fund me to help me get out of here in the mean time.
Thank you so much for reading my story and anyone,, feel free to email me or ask me questions.
i am i gona keep this updated when i go to docs or get any new info

 

Please email Danielle for the URL to her GoFundMe Page

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Mae, Undiagnosed Bio

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golden-oldie

 

Originally posted Sunday, October 26, 2008

I am now 34 years old and have recently moved to a new state. I really don’t know when I started to show the signs. I have had migraines since I was in junior high. I used to have dark stretch marks and major mood swings in high school. My periods were so very painful and heavy I would bleed through a sanitary napkin every hour and a half. Once I graduated I went to the health department and asked to be placed on BC pills. I was eighteen, planning on having sex, and wanting to be safe about it. Within the next three months I put on about 60 pounds.

When I first moved to Virginia I was weighing about 135 pounds on a 5’6″ frame ever so happy in a size 8. By the following January I was almost 200 pounds and in a size 20. I went from wearing form fitting clothes to wearing sweat pants and t-shirts as large as I could find them. When I asked the health department about this, I was told that you have to expect to gain weight when you first start on the birth control pills. I was an active 18 year old, I didn’t over eat, and I was a personal nanny to a very active child. I took her on walks daily for at least an hour.

Things happen, as they always do. My fiance and I broke up, I moved to another part of the state, and pretty much ate only enough to make sure I was getting some nutrients into me. Depression set in, and my whole being seemed to change. I went from being an outgoing, happy center of attention to an brooding and depressed loner. I didn’t even want to be around my family (whom I lived with at the time). I went to the doctor again. I wasn’t planning on doing anything, so I stopped taking the birth control. When I asked the doctor about the weight loss, I was told it would fade within time as long as I worked at it.

Two years go by and I worked at it, and 20 pounds went on their way. The depression was starting to ease, I felt some of my old self returning. I decided to move it along and branch back out on my own again. I vowed to take back two years of my life. I was out going again, I WAS ME! I was eating healthy, only getting fast food at the most, once a week. Eating more salads than anything, and county line danceing three to four hours (non-stop) about four times a week (one day a week was for a demonstration team). I wasn’t loosing any weight. As a matter of fact, I had started to slowly gain it again. I also had my first bout with kidney stones. I met my soon to be husband almost two years to the day of vowing to get back my lost years.

Since My husband I have married (9.5 years now), my weight has been a large roller coaster ride. I have never been back down to the 180 I was when we first met. I haven’t been below 200 since then. I have maxed out at 260 so far. Each time I feel almost like my old self, I pick up the hard dieting and working out 4-5 days a week. I love weight training. Not the body building kind, but the lean muscle building kind. I will start out loosing weight and I will keep it up. I will loose about 10 pounds before the gain starts. Then I will tell myself that the gain is muscle and it is to be expected. 20 pounds later, when I am 10 pounds more than when I started, the depression starts to set in. I keep working at it with tears in my eyes and I no longer enjoy it. Finally, when the next 5 pounds hit, I just give up. All of this takes place over about a 4 month period. The only time there was a repreve was when I was pregnant with my daughter. I went back to feeling like myself again when I was pregnant. I also lost 25 pounds while I was pregnant. I was pregnant for 6 months (she was 12 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia).

Kidney stones started happening more frequently. UTI’s (which I had never had before being pregnant) started happening about every 6 months. I had been diagnosed with endometreosis, and the ovarian cycst I had been diagnosed with at 17 had come back. I was diagnosed with depression, and was always being told by the doctor that I needed to loose weight. No matter now many times I told him that I tried only to gain it, it was like he never heard me.

My break through came about a year and a half ago. I was reading one of my mother’s Reader’s Digest’s she had left at my house. I was shocked. It was almost like reading my own story. That night I hopped on line and came to this website. There was a diagram hand drawn of what a body could look like with Cushings. While I was reading the symptoms, my husband walked in. He asked when I had posed for the drawing. I broke down in tears. My wonderful husband came over and held me while I cried it out. Then listened as I explained it to him. I still didn’t have the courage to ask my doctor about it.

The following month, the recurring UTI’s started. I was getting one every two -three weeks. Then my mind started to go. Like one of the bio’s I have read here, it felt like there was an alien in my head. I could see myself acting in ways that weren’t me. I couldn’t even interact with my daughter without having flashes of anger. The depression medication pretty much stopped working, and there were times I couldn’t even stand myself. I finally found the courage.

I made an appointment to see my PCP. Since there was nothing ‘wrong’, the earliest they could see me was a month away, I agreed. I nearly called back to cancel the appointment at least three times. I kept it. He wasn’t very supportive. I was overweight and fat people like us have to find a way to loose it was pretty much what he said. But he would order and 24 hour UFC test. and we would go from there. Guess what? It was high. He refered me to an Endo. Wonderful Endo. I hated leaving him.

I went to see Dr. Barnes and he listened to me. I took pictures of me for every year since I was 18(which took a while to gather since I haven’t really had any pictures taken of me for the last 8 years). He asked me questions. He listened to me. He made me feel as if what I had to say was important and needed to be heard. Then we did the exam. He talked, measured, asked, and explained the whole time. He looked at the hair loss, the hair that was growing where it shouldn’t, even the stretch marks that have long since faded to white (but once in a while flair red). He ordered a dexa test. Then he put me on blood pressure medication (my blood pressure had been creeping up for about a year), started me on Fortamet to help ease some of the symptoms, and ordered me back in two weeks. The test came back only slightly elevated. Enough to be over the norm, but not eoungh to confirm a diagnosis. He ordered a midnight cortisol test (it was now about almost 2 months since I first saw him). The results were on the high side of normal. He wanted to keep an eye on me. He couldn’t diagnose me, but he felt that my concern was warrented. He wanted to keep on eye on me. I was to see him every three months. If my symptoms were to come back, then I was to call him immidiately.

Four months ago I had to say good-bye to Dr. Barnes. I moved with my husband when he retired from the military. I am now back to the drawing board. I have a wonderful PCP now (which I didn’t before). She listened to me and refered me to an Endo. I left the new Endo’s office very exasperated. She walked into the appointment and didn’t even shake my hand. Strike one. Next came the physical exam. She felt my thyriod, one point in her favor. That was all she checked, strike two. Then, right there told me that I was diabetic (go figure that the last blood test I got said my sugar levels were excellent) and I had PCOS. The woman had only known me for ten minutes, if that, and was diagnosing me without seeing blookwork results or anything else. Third and final strike. I am still so put off by this experience, I haven’t gotten the nerve to go back to my PCP and ask for another referal. The Endo did do a dexa test, and said that according to that test, there was no way that I could have Cushing’s and that was the end of it.

Since then, I have had my gall bladder removed after having a gall stone pains for the last 4 years that no one could find. I also have two new kidney stones. One of them about a half an inch in diameter (again). The fatigue has returned. Insomnia is hitting again. Depression is setting in. My temper is starting to flare for the slightest wrong. My concentration is failing. When I changed the chanel and found the Mystery Diagnosis on about Cushing’s, I felt that was God’s way of pushing me. So, when the week starts, I will be calling my PCP and see if there is another Endo she can refer me to. As the song goes, ‘Here I go again on my own”.

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TONIGHT! Interview with Fabiana

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interview

Fabiana will be our guest in an interview on BlogTalk Radio  Wednesday, October 21 at 6:00 PM eastern.  The Call-In number for questions or comments is (657) 383-0416.

The archived interview will be available after 7:00 PM Eastern through iTunes Podcasts (Cushie Chats) or BlogTalkRadio.  While you’re waiting, there are currently 88 other past interviews to listen to!

~~~

Fabiana had transsphenoidal surgery (pituitary) July 30th 2004.  She had a recurrence after seven years of being Cushing’s free.  A second pituitary surgery on 10/26/2011 was unsuccessful.

Another Golden Oldie, this bio was last updated 9/12/2015

Well it has taken me a year to write this bio…and just to give some hope to those of you just going thru this process…I have to say that after surgery I have not felt better! I am back to who i always knew I was….the depression and anxiety is gone and I am living life like a 24 year old should!

I guess it all started when i was sixteen (hindsight is 20-20 i guess). My periods stopped i was tired all the time and the depression started. We all kind of just chalked it up to being sixteen. But my mom insisted something was not right. we talked with my gyno…who said nothing was wrong, I had a fungus on my head (my hair was getting really thin) and sometimes girls who had normal periods (in my case three years of normal periods) just go awry.

My mom wasnt hearing that and demanded a script for an endo. I went….he did blood work…and metioned cushings. But nothing came back definitive…so they put me on birthcontol and gave me some hormones and the chushings was never mentioned again because that all seemed to work.

As time went on my depression got worse, the shape of my body started to change-my face and stomach was the most noticeable- and my energy level kept going down. I kept going back to the doctors asking to be tested for mono..or something. I went to a psycologist….but i knew there was no reason for my depression. Two of them told me “i had very good insight” and that I didnt need them. I started getting more anxiety..especially about going out socially.

High school ended and my typical optimistic personality started to decline. I put on a good act to my friends but my family was seeing me break down all the time. I went away for college (all the while gaining weight). My sophmore year I had a break down..I called my family crying that i needed help. I couldnt beat my depression. I didnt drink in college because i knew that would mean instant weight gain, i barely went out…i exercised everyday..hard….i joined weight watchers…i stuck with it. I was at 103 lbs….that crept up to 110…that crept up to 117…each time my weight goal would be “ohh if i could just get back to 108..112…115” with each weight gain my original weight goal would get higher and higher.

Internally i felt like I was constantly under a black cloud..i knew there was no reason why i shoudl feel this way..i was doing great in school, i had a supportive family, an amazing boyfriend and great friends…why was i depressed? I was becoming emotionally draining to the people closest to me…I would go home a lot on the weekends…i was diagnosed with PMDS….like severe PMS..and was given an antidepresant…i hated it it made me feel like a zombie…i stopped taking it and just made it apoint to work on fighting the depression….and the weight gain.

When i was done college i was about 120 lbs. My face was getting rounder and rounder..i was noticing more hair on my face and arms…and a hump between my shoulder blades and the bottom of my neck. My mom saw a tv show about Polycystic ovarian syndrome and felt that maybe that was what was going on with me…i went to my PCP with this and she said it was possible and that i should to talk to my gyno….I am 4’8 and at the time weighing close to 125..i talked to my gyno and she said I was not heavy..that i was just “itailan” ..i told her my periods were getting abnormal again even w/the birthcontrol and that i was so tired all the time and my arms and legs ached. I also told her that i was bruising very easily…and that the weight gain would not stop despite my exercising and following the atikins diet very strickly for over 6 weeks. My boyfriend and I decided to try the diet together..he lost 35 llbs in 6 weeks..i lost NOTHING! I went back to my PCP who ordered an ultra sound of my ovaries…..NOTHING.(i kept thinking i was going crazy and that it was all in my head)….she also decided to do some blood work…and as i was walking out the door she said..”you know what..i am going to give you this 24hr urine test too. Just so that we cover everything”. I just kept thinking please let something come back ….please dont let this be all my fault…please dont let this be all in my head…..please dont let me be crazy. When i got the test results back it turned out that the 24hr urine test was the one test i needed to get on the right track to finding what was wrong. My cortisol level was 3x’s the normal.

I went to an endo…by the time i got to the endocronoligist i was up to 130…i could not work a full day without needing a full day of sleep and my body was aching beyond description. I was crying all the time…in my room…and was becoming more and more of a recluse…i would only hang out with my boyfriend in our houses. I looked my symptoms up on the internet and saw cushings…that was it! I went to the endo and told him..i think it is cushings….he said he had only saw it one other time and that he wanted to do more tests. I got CAT scans, x-rays, MRI’s….my adrenals my pituitary my lungs….he did a CRH stimulation test which was getting blood work done every fifteen minutes for 90minutes….it took weeks to get that test scheduled..no one had ever heard of it and therefore did not know how to do it…..finally after 3 months of tests my dr. felt he had enough evidence to diagnos me with cushings disease (tumor on my pituitary) I was diagnosed in March of 2004. By this time i was about 137 lbs i had to work part time (i am an occupational therapist for children..i do home visits….i could not make it thru a whole day)

In April i had to change to office work…i could not lift the children and i could barely get up off the floor. I have to say i was one of the lucky people who worked for people who were very supportive and accomidating…my boss was very willing to work with me and willing to hold my job for me.

July 30th 2004 i finally had transphenodial surgery to remove my tumor (they went thru my lip and nose because they felt my nose was too small). It is now over 1 year later….i am down to 108 lbs, i have so much energy…no depression….and i dont mind looking at myself in the mirror…i am enjoying my friends and my boyfriend…(who stayed with me thru it all) And my family. I feel healthy mentally, emptionally, and physically. And i just got back into my size 2 jeans!!!

It was a crappy time…(as i am sure you all can atest to) but i learned a lot…..most importantly i was bombarded by good wishes and prayers….friends requested masses for me…a nun in brazil prayed for me…people who i never thought i touched their lives…took the time to wish me well…send an email..or call….I got to experience the wonderful loving nature of human beings and i was lucky to be supported by my family (my mom, dad, and two younger brothers) and my boyfriend throughout this entire tough journey.

This experience taught me to realize the strength i have as well as to appreciate the good and the bad in life. I was on hydrocortizone for about 8 months…i was lucky that my tumor was in its own little sack so my pituitary gland was not touched. In the end in took about 7 years to diagnose me..i think that if the dr. at 16 would have pursued the cushings idea nothing would have been found because it took so long for my symptoms to really peak…needless to say i love my PCP and my endo ..and that i changed gyno’s…

I just want to let anyone out there going thru this disease to know..you are not alone….and to take each day is stride…when you need help ask for it….and that this road can lead to a happy ending. God Bless!

ps- it is ok to feel bad about what you are going thru…it is a tough thing to endure…and when the docotors tell you there is noting wrong…..follow your gut…and you keep searching for the doctor that will listen… If there is anyone in the philadelphis of south jersey area who needs someone to talk to please feel free to email me…fapadula@hotmail.com…i will help you out the best i can!

Update November 6, 2011

Well- here is an update, after seven years of being Cushings free it has returned.

With in those seven years I married my college boyfriend and we now have a son- Nicholas who will be 2 in Decemeber. It has been a blessed and wonderful seven years. However right around when my son was turning 1 I started to notice symptoms again. Increase facial hair, the whole “roundness” of my body, buffalo hump. I decided I was going to work out hard, eat right, and see – I didnt just want to jump to any conclusions. I stuck to it- and nothing…..my hair started thinning again and the acne was coming back and then the missed periods…..so I went to my PCP- told them i needed the 24hr urine and wouldnt you know…..427 cortisol level (on that 0-50 scale)……here we go again.

So back to endo- now at Penn Pituitary Center…..it was another journey b/c the tumor wasnt definative on MRI, and it seems to be cycling…..but I was diagnosed with Cushings again- with the option of 2nd pit surgery or BLA…….after some months of trying to make a decision I went with the 50/50 chance of the second pituitary surgery on 10/26/2011.

It didnt work- my levels never came down in the hospital and I went home w/ out of range cortisol levels and no need for medication……BLURG……Sooooo on to the next step…..after I recover from this surgery I will most likely have the BLA- with the hopes of not having to deal with Cushings ever again. This time around has been a little more difficult just with being a mom and feeling sick- but I still continue to be amazingly blessed with a supportive family and husband and we are surrounded by love and support and for that I am beyond greatful.

I keep all of you in my prayers for relief and health- as I ( we all) know this no easy journey.

Many Blessings!

Fabiana

Update September 12, 2015

So to bring this up to date. My second pituitary surgery in 2011 was unsuccessful. January of 2012 I had both of my adrenal glands removed. Going to adrenal insufficiency was a very difficult transition for me. It took me nearly 2 years before I felt functional. As time went on I felt more human, but I haven’t felt healthy since that day. I can and do function, but at a lower expectation of what I used to be capable of….my “new normal”.

My husband and I decided to try for a second child…my pituitary was damaged from the second surgery and we needed fertility…after 8 months of fertility I got pregnant and we had our second son January of 2015.

In April of 2015 we discovered that my ACTH was increasing exponentially. MRI revealed a macroadenoma invading my cavernous sinus. The tumor is sitting on my carotid artery and milimeterrs away from my optic chasim. I was not a candidate for another surgery due to the tumors proximity to.both of those vital structures.

So September 1st of this year I started daily radiation treatments. I spent my 34th birthday getting my brain zapped. I am receiving proton beam therapy at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. I am so lucky to live so close to an institute that has some of the rarest treatment options.

Again Cushing’s is disrupting our life, my husband goes with me every night to radiation while family takes turns watching the kids….I am now on my 18th year of fighting this disease. I never imagined it would get to this point.

But here we all are making the best of each day, fighting each day and trying to keep things as “normal” as possible. Blessings to all of you fighting this disease…my new go to saying is” ‘effing Cushing’s”! For you newbies…Fight, Advocate for yourselves, and find a doc who doesn’t dismiss you and hang on to them for dear life.

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Angelina S (Angel), Pituitary Cushing’s

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pituitary-gland

I am 41 years old. I have a pituitary tumor, cushings, diabetes and lumbar spinal stenosis.

I went on the depo shot in 2006 due to heavy periods.

In 2009 I was having migraines and weight gain and ended up going to the hospital. They did a scan and said I needed to get to my doctor for further treatment. She only gave me pain medicine and I ended up on blood pressure and cholesterol medicine.

In 2010 I ended back up in the hospital they did another scan and asked if I was being treated for the pituitary tumor. I was in shock I knew nothing about it. They said it had showed up in the 2009 scan. The doctor said she knew nothing about it. I went to an endo he said I needed surgery and it was causing my eye problems pressing on my nerve.

I tried to go to a neurosurgeon but he wouldn’t see me unless I had $3,000 to $5,000 since I didn’t have insurance. So I dealt with the migraines, missed out on alot.

In 2013 now that I have insurance which not many doctors especially specialist take, they wanted me to go for more tests. In 2013 I started taking herbs, which was helping to reduce my prolactin so my doctor said to stay on the chasteberry and butterbur.

In October of 2013 I was diagnosed with cushings, after all the weight gain and trouble walking. December of 2013 they finally stopped playing around and put me on diabetic pills, which I should of been on sooner.

In 2014 I kept getting sick so much I lost my job working with disabled children. In May of 2014 my gynecologist took me off of the depo shot. I kept gaining weight and it was to the point that by September of 2014 I was having difficulty walking. Doctors didn’t say much about it just told me to lose weight.

In March of 2015 I read an article about cushings and the slowing of metabolism so I started taking raspberry ketones and in 2 months have now lost 24 pounds and can walk some. It is so nice because I was basically stuck in bed. I had another MRI in April and they compared it to the one in 2013 and the tumor hasn’t grown any.

The doctors haven’t given me any medicine for the tumor or the cushings, I am trying to control it all with herbs and so far it is working out. I had to fight to even get muscle relaxers for my back. I have lost all my friends through all of this and had to move back in with my parents because I lost my apartment. I was denied for SSD, but I am trying again. I want my life back and I am fighting for it.

 

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Did She Have Cushing’s?

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By the time A.A. arrived in my office, she had spent almost a year looking for answers.

In November 2012, she was 45 and struggling to lose weight and keep her blood pressure down. What sounds like a common scenario, however, was anything but.

A.A. was experiencing fatigue and malaise, and the area around her eyes bruised easily. Another puzzling symptom: She said she was acutely aware of her neck. It wasn’t pain, but awareness. She was losing more hair than usual in her brush and had stopped menstruating, and her skin broke open easily. Her primary-care physician thought it was early menopause.

She asked family and friends, but no one had such symptoms at menopause. She was increasingly self-conscious as she gained weight. Her primary-care provider referred her to an OB/GYN, and a variety of tests came back normal, including a pap, thyroid, female hormones, and a transvaginal ultrasound.

Worst of all, A.A. struggled emotionally. She felt as though she were in a constant state of agitation, with depression and anxiety. A.A.’s symptoms slowly took over her life. She was becoming a person she hardly recognized.

In July, she ran into a friend who was a nurse. Noticing the puffiness of her face, the nurse asked A.A. whether she was on prednisone. Learning she wasn’t, the nurse suggested A.A. might have Cushing’s syndrome, which results from too much cortisol in the body for long periods. It can be caused by taking a corticosteroid, like prednisone, or by something inside the body signaling the adrenal glands to produce too much of the hormone.

A visit to an endocrinologist confirmed the diagnosis after a 24-hour urine-cortisol test, and an MRI appeared to reveal a small adenoma on the pituitary gland. The endocrinologist referred her to Jefferson to see a surgeon.

Although she was not looking forward to brain surgery, A.A. was relieved to have an answer.

But neurosurgeon James Evans, Jefferson’s director of pituitary surgery, did not think the Cushing’s was caused by the pituitary adenoma. He ordered an additional MRI and blood work, which confirmed his hunch, and he referred her to Jefferson Endocrinology for further detective work.


Solution

When A.A. walked into my office, she was extremely stressed and exhausted. I ordered a chest CT, which revealed a nodule. But it did not fluoresce during a nuclear medicine test, as it likely would have had it been causing the Cushing’s. Next up was a series of scans, but all came back clear.

I still felt the tumor should come out and referred her to cardiothoracic surgeon Scott Cowan.

Three days after surgery to remove one lobe of her lung and the tumor, A.A.’s face already was noticeably slimmer.

Her Cushing’s was caused by a carcinoid tumor the size of a pencil eraser in her lung. The tumor – although not large enough to fluoresce during testing – had been signaling her adrenal glands, which produced enough cortisol, the fight-or-flight hormone, for 24 people.

Cushing’s accounted for all her physical and emotional symptoms. The syndrome can be missed because it mimics obesity in many ways.

With the tumor out, her adrenal glands would effectively go to sleep. She’d need prednisone, which would slowly be tapered over the next year. Fortunately, A.A.’s lymph nodes were clear, and she did not need radiation or chemotherapy.

Over the next year, A.A. got her life and her body back. By January, A.A. was completely off prednisone, feeling and looking like herself.
Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/health/20150412_Could_brain_surgery_solve_her_baffling_symptoms_.html#xPCBW4wRoFxTCWDh.99

Pauline, Undiagnosed Bio

1 Comment

Hello all
I’ve only just been referred this week to go see an endo so very much at the start of what I think will be a long journey.

I don’t seem to be a typical case of Cushings although I have “the hump” and some slow weight gain which is are the things that have gotten me referred.

Over the past umpteen years I’ve been going to the doctor with all manner of debilitating symptoms (mainly fatigue) and 15 years got diagnosed as B12 deficient and put on injections for it. Then after about 7 years I had to go back as symptoms worsening and was diagnosed as Folic acid deficient. Saw an improvement on taking the tablets but after a year was back to being utterly exhausted, waking at 3/4am every morning, aching everywhere in my body and multiple other symptoms that came and went. After pushing at the docs was diagnosed as low ferritin and put on iron tablets.

Over the next 2 years and ever increasing doses of iron we still couldn’t get my ferritin raised and I had started logging when I felt utterly gubbed and it seemed to be happening anything from immediately after getting my B12 injection to a few weeks after. Because it wasn’t easily definable as related to the injections, doctor didn’t want to make any association but it got to the point where I refused to get any more injections as I couldn’t face the 6 weeks of misery I knew would come after it so he agreed to put me on B12 tablets instead. And low and behold my ferritin started rising and I started feeling better. Luckily I was able to absorb the B12 orally as not everyone can do that. Almost all my symptoms disappeared except the sparse fluctuating periods, some vision problems and my reaction to eating sugar/carb food (Ok, I’ll admit it – biscuits) as I fall asleep at my desk sometimes directly related to what I’ve just eaten.

I believe a lot of what I was experiencing was down to my low ferritin and I’m actually feeling very good just now – but, since my blood has improved I’ve been slowly putting on weight around my middle (I only eat about 1400 calories a day so couldn’t understand it) and I’ve now got hump, and fine blond hair growing on my face. I’m 50 so doc had previously presumed I was just menopausal and that was what had stopped my periods but after 8 months one appeared. I had previously shown my hump to another doctor last year when I was there for back pain but was just told to sit up straighter at my desk. On showing my present doc the hump he said immediately he was going to send me to and endo.

So, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. I don’t seem to be a typical cushi as I don’t have a moon face and my weight gain has only been gradual and I actually feel fine. It was only at my partners insistence that I went to the doc as he kept saying my hump was getting bigger.

Does anyone have any advice on what I need to ask/say when I eventually see my endo?

Thanks
Pauline

ps, sorry, forgot to mention that I was only born with one kidney and also had an ovary removed due to a cyst.

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Michelle (ingledoo), Cyclic Pituitary Bio

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golden-oldie

 

Dear Cushies, (if I have spelling boo boos please over look them, I don’t have the spelling gene)

I would like to say that I was new on my road to a diagnosis, but I am not. I begain to complain to my Dr’s in my 30’s (I am 3 weeks away from 50th B-day) about my symptoms. I have led a very stressful life from the start. No need to go into details, but it has taken a life time to heal from them. One day (it seemed like over night) I felt extreme weakness in my legs and arms.

I begain to have dizzy spells and began to gain weight for no reason. A very strange fatty hump begain to grow at the base of my neck and my periods began to disappear. I don’t mean I missed them, the just began to become very light and last only one or two days. And I became infertile. Happily I had two children and I was alright with the news.

I started to have high blood pressure (sometimes, it goes up and down for no reason). My Dr. said I must be forgetting my meds. I DO NOT! She (I have two Dr’s same office, one male other female) gave one of what was to be hundreds of eyebrow raises that mean your lying to yourself, if not coming right out and saying it. In the begining I had all my weight bulging around my middle. People used to say “you have such nice legs” (for a fat person).

But after so many years of extreme waekness in legs and arms and not being able to be as active as I used to love to be, fat begain to advance over the rest of my body as well. My Dr’s kept telling me to diet and stay away from sweets. No matter how hard I would tell them that I don’t eat many sweets (I like a goodie now and then, but I never have them around as a rule) they would tell me that I had to be pigging out and I was just in denial. I can’t describe the frustration and helplessness I feel when no one belives what I’m saying.

Finally My male Dr. believed me enough or just wanted me to be quiet about it and sent me to the Endocrinologist. I had to wait for months to get there. I had been looking up my symptoms on line and Cushings came up over and over again. I cried when I read all of my sysmptoms facing me from the screen. I have everyone!

I have lost over half of my hair, mostly on top. I have purple marks on my side, I have blured vision, I have to have my glasses changed every two years and I still can’t see. I bruse easily and I heal very, very slowly. I had a hernia operation and the wound opened up and it took 5 months to close. I have the most embarassing hair on my face, I can grow a full beard, and I have a thick hair line on my belly. I lactated for 15 years after the birth of my son. For no reason. I live with anxiety every day of my life. I have off and on depression. I have tried every class of anti-depressent with bad side effects. I will never use them again. I can’t sleep and I’m so tired. I can’t raise my arms for more than a minute before they literally fall down on their own. My blood sugar is up a tiny bit but as i said, I don’t eat many sweets and there is NO diabetes in my family at all.

At last I found the answer I have been seeking for for years. And now I could have some hope. I went to my first Endo appiontment and told the Dr. that I was at the end of my hope and I was preying for his help. After he examind me and took my history he told me he believed that I had Cushings too. At last someone who believed me, I cried buckets. He ordered a AM Crtisol and a 24 hour urine. And he told me to come back in 3 months! In the mean time the AM cortisol came back to my Dr’s office, NEGATIVE. I was dumbfounded. All I could say to my Dr was, I don’t understand? What about the weakness in my legs and everything? She said, and I still hurt to this day: TOO BAD YOUR LEGS WEREN’T WEAK ON YOUR WAY TO THE FRIDGE! I wanted to die. The one 24 urine came back normal too.

I have lost all hope. Then I remembered that the Endo Dr. said he would find the problem and I still held out some hope for help. When I finally got back to see him he said, I the the test were negative and I don’t have Cushings, good-bye and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. I will be honest here, the thought I had in my head was “I guess I need to die so they can disect my pituitary to find the tumors” an awefull thought huh? But that’s how low and dejected I felt. That was last month and I know something is very wrong with me. I have lost who I am and my ability to be a part of life. I know with all that I am that I have Cushings. It is the only thing that answers every one of my symptoms.

Read about it I have found that many Cushies have gone through what I have, but I have no-one to turn to and no Dr. will believe me after their test prove to THEM that I’m nuts. If anyone knows what I can do, please please help me. I do not have money and can not pay for tests myself. I need a Dr. to refer me in Canada. I’m putting it out there for help.

Thank you all,
Michelle in Richmond BC

Update August 24, 2009

Hello Cushies,

Please disreguard spelling boo boo’s! This site needs spell check!

I felt I needed to up date where I am at this point in my Cushings journey. (Please read my first Bio posting Nov. 19th ’08)

I was in the pit of dispair as to what to due about my health and with no one to turn to, I went into a horrible depression. I had just ended a 20 year marriage that included abuse about my weight. Blame from everyone that my sysmptoms were all my fault and in my head. My grown children were no better. I live in a VERY image focused city and if you are not a size two, there is something wrong with you. Most people look at you as a freak. Fat biggots are everywhere. I wish I was joking, but it’s true.

One morning I woke up and felt I had nothing to loose by making a pain out of myself with my Dr’s or anyone that I thought could help. I came back to Cushing’s Help.com and looked up helpful Dr’s in my area listed on this site. I found two in my city and proceeded to write a 5 page history of the last 20 years of my life and the test that had been done on me (or not done) and 24 symptoms that I have. When they started and where they are up to now. I poured my heart out. I had nothing to loose by sending out this letter on my own but dead air space coming back to me. And I wouldn’t be worse off than I already was. So what the heck.

A couple of months past and I gave up on hearing anything back from these Dr.s, when low and behold, my phone rang when I was walking down the street. There was this Crisp South African accent on the other end saying her was Dr. Tom Elliot. It tool me a few minutes to have my brain put him in the right place and I was shocked that he called! He said he read my letter and he agreed with me that I was not properly tested! I was dumbfounded! He said he was going to leave some tests for me to pick up at his office and if they came back showing anything then he would see me, other wise I wouldn’t hear from him again.

I raced to his office and picked up. Two 24/hour Urines and an order for cortisol suppession blood test and 2 salavery test tubes. This was what I dreamed of. And I was so scared! What if it was true! What if I was really crazy and it was all in my head!

Anyway, I did all the test and took them to the labs myself. Months past. I thought the worst. Till one day I was walking down the street again and there was that crisp accent on the other end again! He said I need you to come in and see me! Some of your tests came back as abnormal!

He added me as a regular patiant and I discovered that it is almost imposible to get in to see this Dr. He doesn’t take new pateints unless he feels that they are a special case! I had hope at last! He gave me a physical and he kept saying yep and there it is and nodding his head. Finally we sat down and he asked me one question. He said: of all your symptoms, what one bothers you the most? I didn’t hesitate and said: the extreem weakness in my legs and all muscles. The painful fatigue. I feel that if I could have my body back, I could have a life again, He looked at me with understanding eyes and said he wanted to do one more salavry test and the he would see me in Oct. to discuss treatment for Cyclic Pituary Cushings! I couldn’t help myself. I started balling my eyes out! I wanted to hug him and bake him cookies. But he just didn’t seem like that kind of guy! He would have seen me sooner, but he was leaving on holidays. Now when I see my GP’s they don’t give me that “look” anymore and can hardly look me in the eye.

Remember all you Cushie out there, never give up! Keep rattling you cage and be heard. Someone somewhere will hear you!

All my best to all,
Michelle G.
Richmond BC

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