I’m a 33 year old female. I have 3 young boys ages 8, 5 & 2.
About 1 year ago I started suffering from chronic fatigue to the point of crying halfway thru my work day not knowing how I was going to make it thru the rest of the day. I went to my primary physician who stated I might need to have my thryroid rechecked. I was previously diagnosed with hypothryroid but on a real low dose of Levothryroxine. He ran some blood work and the test came back normal but with deficiencies in my B-12 & Viamin D. He suggested I try a multivitamin. I went out and splurged on the best vitamins I could find but they were of no help.
I returned after experiencing palpitations and dizziness. I was then diagnosed with Vertigo and given meds that only made me more sleepy so I stoped taking them. I noticed I was gaining weight even though at this time I was running 3 miles 4X/wk and loging in my meals.
My PCP thought I was suffering from depression because I cried at one of my appointments out of frustration because I just waned to make it thru a day without feeling tiered. He suggested I take a sleep study test to check for insomnia. The test came back cleared saying other than fallling asleep faster than usual patients nothing else was wrong.
I was referred to a cardiologist becasue I was also feeling extremely cold and had a difficult time performing the same tasks I was able to do wihtout any problems months earlier. I kept insisting I had a lot of the syptoms I had previous to start on meds for my hypothyroidism but because the blood work came back normal they said they could not change my meds.
I read somewhere about secondoray hypothyroidsm and requested a referal to an endocronologists. My PCP felt there was no reason as everything came back normal but I pleaded until he gave in and authorized my referral.
I went to see my endocronologist for the first time and for some reason after telling her what I was experiencing she told me my issues could range from anemia to Multiple Sclerois but she also wanted to check for something extremely rare…..did not give me a name. She requested blood work and sent me home with 3 cottong swabs she wanted me to saturate between 11 pm – 12 am, stick them in the fridge and return to their lab as soon as I was done. I did this and she called me stating the tests came back abnormal and she wanted me to do another tests. She was very vague about providing me with information other than assuring me that what she was testing me for was extremely rare and it was probably false results. She told me not too panic and just go about life as usual.
I came home with a 24 hour urine collection container and another round of saliva tests. I got a call from her nurse stating everything was normal. I insisted I wanted a f/u visit with the Dr. At the time of my visit she stated she was happy I had insisted on another appointment because the saliva test came back abnormal, but only on one of the swabs.
This time I came prepared with a list of symptoms and my own depression screening test (I’m a social worker and knew my some of my symptoms were similar to those of people suffering from depression), she took copies but again told me not to worry. Well the more she told me not to worry the more worried I became and started researching Cushing’s the extrme rare disorder she had been telling me not to worry about.
My husband came across a website called Cushing’s with a Moxie, when I started reading the blog I started to cry I felt like finally someone understood me. I still don’t have an answer by my Endocronologist but in my head I think I’ve figured it out and as silly as it sounds I’m wishing this is it, finally an answer to my symptoms.
My symptoms began when I was about 21 years old. At the time I worked as a Martial Art instructor so I was very physical and in good shape, weighing about 120lbs. Suddenly, and I do mean SUDDENLY, I gained about 60lbs or so. It was as if my clothes fit one night and then didn’t fit in the morning. The weight is mostly in the middle area. My face shape changed and I developed a second chin almost.
I also started getting some whiskers on my chin and neck. Not a lot, just a few, but it was strange.
I was under great stress at the time because I had lost both of my parents in the same year, to two different medical things. So as you can imagine, it was very difficult for me. I developed extreme fatigue, and anxiety attacks. Friends were sure all my physical and mental symptoms must be from depression over losing my folks. One friend advised I see a psychiatrist, so considering everything it sounded reasonable, and I did.
I was placed on Paxil, which caused me to gain even more weight. Since then I’ve tried so many antidepressants I can’t even begin to name them. I went through many SSRI’s, then SNRI’s, then tricyclic, and most recently as a last resort an MAOI.
But in spite of this, over the years my depression has only gotten worse. I’ve had two suicide attempts and been hospitialized a few times. My depression seems to follow a pattern or cycle, two weeks of barely being able to function, followed by a week of doing a little better, then a day or two of feeling good, then back to two weeks of misery, etc. I am not bipolar or anything like that.
I continued to gain weight, developed stretch marks on my belly and arms, got a lot of dark hair all over my belly, and the few whiskers that appeared on my chin and neck have become like a beard. I developed insulin-resistance, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. I can seldom sleep at night. I experience such deep depression and fatigue that I haven’t been able to keep a job or finish collage, I barely function.
For many years I just thought I had really bad depression and continued trying whatever psych meds I was prescribed. I thought all my physical symptoms were my fault for being so depressed and not getting enough excercise, etc. And most of the time, I was on so much medication I didn’t really care, I was so out of it.
Finally I found a great psychiatrist who truly cares about me and wants to see me happy. After having little or no success treating my depression, fatigue, and panic attacks, she did some research and told me not long ago that she felt I must have something biological going on with me that wasn’t any type of clinical depression. She said she had tried hitting all the different receptors in my brain (seretonin, norephinepherine, dopamine, etc..) and I should have responded to something. She suggested I might have Cushing’s Syndrome. I went online to find out about Cushing’s and I was like “Wow I really match a LOT of these things!”
Now I am on quest for getting tested. It’s difficult as I do not have any health insurance. But I am making a little progress and hope I start to get some answers soon.
I either have Cushing’s syndrome, some other endocrine problem, or the most treatment-resistant depression ever.
That’s my story, thanks for reading. I’m open to any comments or advice.
I am a 24 year old newly graduated registered nurse (dec 2011). Who is currently undergoing testing to confirm or r/o cyclic cushings at UCLA.
I have always struggled with my weight and self esteem and I finally had enough in april when I went to see an endo to see what was going on I mean how could I not be losing weight netting 1100-1200 calories aday and doing spin class and 5k walks! I have done every diet known to man and ws even anorexic for a while.
I had elevated urine test at UFC of 69.7, not high enough to confirm cushing but is very suspect because of my s/s. I have round, face, abd obesity (most people think I am pregnant), stria, hair loss, fatigue, anxiety, tachycardia, muscle cramps (low potassium), buffalo hump, and so on and so on. I am so frustrated I just want to cry all the time, I just want to know what is wrong.
Curently I am to see my doctor in 6 weeks and have 10 24 urines and 12 salivary cortisols to do. I am a nurse and doing a 24 urine at work is hard. I am supposed to get married next year and I want to feel beautiful not sick, not tired, not neck pain, and not heavy.
I am tired of hearing you probably don’t have that it’s rare when obviously something is going on. AND I HATE hearing your YOUNG you can lose weight when ever you want.
This is about my husband…2010 diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (one day he was fine, the next day he was in agony type onset). Was placed on methotraxate, prednisone, humera, actemra, etc. for the next 4 or 5 years. None of the bilogics worked for more than a month. Pred and pain meds became a mainstay for about 5 years. I started to question the accuracy of the diagnosis and was patted on the head and basically told to forget it and go my merry way and accept it. We were always told the bloodwork “was fine. no issues with the exception that when Neal hurt, his inflammatory blood factors were low..which was odd but it is his body”. It was left at that. We basically gave up the Rheumatologist in 2015 as it was getting us nowhere and nothing was changing. Something was still wrong.
Late 2015, his weight gain went crazy. He developed moon face, the traditional hump on the back of his neck, huge adbdomen with tons of stretch marks everywhere, no energy, listlessness, severe pitted edema, paper thin skin, spots all over his legs, rash on his chest, pressure on his chest and lungs when laying down, sleeping all of the time (as in 2 seconds after he hit is recliner), sleeping solely in the recliner, lower extremety severe weakness, nausea, etc. This led to congestive heart failure in Jan 2016 due to the extreme fluid retention. Placed on lasix, indomethacin, blood pressure meds. Cleared by heart doc two weeks later to return to work.
Still no results…..still spiraling downhill. March 2016 Get steroid injection in the knees as he cannot walk due to the weakness, swelling and pain. Vision issues are now added to the list of continuing issues.
June 7, 2016. Go to another doctor out of state and get more bloodwork done as we cannot take it anymore. They take more blood. Doc does comment on his paper thin skin and mentions that is usually from steriod use. Neal passes out and has to be taken out of the office in a wheel chair as he cannot walk due to the extreme weakness and pain. Increase lasix to 2 a day and get prednisone.
I have finally had enough. I cannot stand seeing my once vibrant active husband just laying there…just existing….just barely…. I make a comprehensive list of all of his symptoms, make a graph of his blood work results from 2010 to present…what I found was astonishing…his results were NOT ok. I took him to the local doctor and pleaded and begged for him to figure out what is wrong with my husband. I initially go thte ole “I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes” etc. as we had just gone to the new rheum. doc a week ago. He ordered a new echocardiogram and it was clear. Added new drug. Neal had an allergic reaction and was put on high dose (50 mg daily) of prednisone combined with zantac and zyrtec for 3 days.
A week later, his bloodwork came back…gout, hypothyroid (based on symptoms), severe internal infection. Add more meds.
Go to eye doc and get the diagnosis of cateracts in both eyes. Doc felt it was due to prednisone due to the rapid onset. Surgery scheduled for next week.
In the meantime, Neal has gone even more downhill….now he feels like he periodically fractures a rib, a finger, etc. Even more stretch marks are present. He is listless and cannot function. He cannot walk. Add decreased urine output even on the lasix). He just lays there stuck in a shell. He has missed so much work in the past 2 weeks. He lives as one would in a nursing home…I take care of his daily needs. He cannot.
I go back to doing my research online. Cushings Syndrome pops up…OMG….Between all of the biologics, the up and down on the prednisone, zyrtec, steroid injections , etc. has sent him into the major downward spiral that he is experiencing…..Steroid induced Cushings along with hypothyroidism (might even be hashimoto’s..too soon to tell). We came to this conclusion at 2 am this morning. To further prove this, he took an additional 10 mg of prednisone immediately. I know…he refused to go to the er…he wanted to prove it one way or the other. (I did tell him that I was gonna invoke my medical poiwer of attorney and have him taken out by ambulance on tuesday if not sooner if this didn’t have some impact). Well…he can WALK this morning. He actually went to the bathroom to use the toilet….THAT is a huge deal to us. He is in pain but he can MOVE!!!! He went to work this afternoon as well. He has to have his cateract surgery so he can see to work (we will lose our home…company house…and everything else if this is not done asap). That is his priority. Once the surgery is done, we will be headed back to Nebraska to approach the doctor there about our findings relating to Cushings Syndrome.
Hi. I am a 40 year old female who has been feeling “not quite right” for almost 10 years. I have been tested on and off for many different things and have been diagnosed with Epstein Barr, Adrenal fatigue, and h.pylori during these years. I continually have vitamin D deficiency issues. I have a rash on my lower legs that never really heals even with the most powerful of steroid creams.
This year, I started feeling worse than usual. I have zero energy and my brain is in a perpetual fog. My muscles and body ache, my face is round, and I have gained 40+ lbs over the years. There are days that I physically cannot get out of bed. I have fainting spells and a racing heartbeat at times. I crave carbs and salt. There is not enough water in the world to drink and I have to run to the bathroom frequently. No matter how hard I try the weight will not come off. When I get massages my therapist tells me that my adrenal glands are swollen and I feel very nauseous every time she runs her hands over that spot.
I was an avid equestrian- 3 day eventer. I was riding and showing no less than 3 times a week. I was getting fit. Now I am just a useless blob that can’t do anything. I have been pushing to go to the barn to just groom and be with my horse as much as I can.
My doctor found that I have an unusually high blood cell count a couple of months ago. I was sent to a hematologist to find out why. We did so many tests I quit counting. The conclusion was that I am not sick enough to be sick. So many tests were coming back normal or high normal. No lupus, no leukemia, no answers. I finally asked about Cushing’s because I have a majority of the symptoms listed. My doctor was skeptical, but agreed to let me do a 24 hour urine test. It came back high. This has allowed me to move to an endocrinologist. I also have high levels of reverse T3.
So far I feel like a complete lab rat. I have now done 2 salivary Cortisol tests and have another urine test this week. One of the 2 saliva tests came back very high. My doctor said we have to do yet another saliva test to test the last results. After all of this we will do a dex suppression test.
At this point I am very depressed that I am unable to live my life. Riding is not an option because I just get “floppy” and risk falling off. I was studying to get my vet tech license, but the brain fog prevents me from remembering anything I read.
I am so lucky to have a doctor that believes my symptoms are real. She does not gloss over the fact that it may take a long to diagnose what is going on, but she wants answers as much as I do. For now, I am just a good lab rat.
Hi! My name is Robyn and I am a 48 year old wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, 1st grade teacher and a recovering Cushing’s patient.
My story is so very similiar to the others on this site but because they helped me so tremendously, I felt that I needed to add my own. Until I was 40 I was extremely healthy and extremeley thin (92-100lbs. on a 5ft. frame) My menstrual cycle had been like clockwork. I had normal periods every 26 days. I had had no problem getting pregnant and was the proud mother of a daughter and a son. I had never had PMS or pain with my periods.
This all changed around 40. My periods started becoming very irregular, I had severe cramps, crazy PMS (my husband said it was like Linda Blair with her head spinning around), and heavy bleeding. I was diagnosed with fibroid tumors. Dealt with that with hormones but by the time I was 45 I had Premature Ovarian Failure and the pain had become incredible and the bleeding was almost to the hemorraging point.
I had a hysterectomy in July of 2007 (I was 45). One month later in August of 2007) I was getting out of my bathtub, slipped and fell and broke my acetabulum (hip socket). I spent 14 weeks non-weight bearing in bed and walking to the bathroom with a walker and in horrible pain until it was decided that I would have to have a total hip replacement. It was another 9 months before I recovered from that. By that time my weight had steadily increased. I thought it was due menopause that I had gone through as a result of the hysterectomy and not being able to walk much less exercise in the last year and a half.
In December of 2008 I decided to have a tummy tuck and a breast reduction because of the weight gain. In January of 2009, when I went for my post op appointment with my plastic surgeon, I was told that breast cancer had been found in the tissue removed in the reduction.
In March of 2009, I had a mastectomy. At that time, the plastic surgeon started my reconstruction by putting in a tissue expander. I had poor healing and all the incisions opened so I had the expander removed. Since then my weight has increased dramatically. I got the moon face, the red chest and neck, the buffalo hump and stomach that looks like you are 9 months pregnant.
During this time my primary care physician just left her practice with no forwarding address. I waited for several months to see if she would resurface in another practice and when she didn’t I had my oncologist recommend another internist. I saw her in Feb. 2010. She asked me what my biggest complaint would be and I told her it would be my weight gain in my stomach and how my face and neck looked.
My mother has Multinodular adrenal hyperplasia and I told my doctor that my mother thought I had Cushings. She told me she thought my mother was right. She did blood tests and called me to tell me that my cortisol levels were sky high and that she was referring me to an endocrinologist. She also had me do a 24 hour urine test and a 1mg. dexamethasone suppression test. Both were indicative of Cushings. The first time I saw Dr. Rolbands he looked at me and said I was a classic Cushings case and sent me for a CT scan. I had the scan and I had a tumor in my left adrenal gland. I went swiftly down hill with symptoms. The leg pain and fatigue became overwhelming.
By the time I had my surgery, I could hardly walk across the room and my blood pressure was 168/110 taking 2 blood pressure medications. I had my left adrenal gland taken out on June 29th, 2010. I am now recovering. Dr. Rolband is very pleased with my progress in 2 weeks. My blood pressure was 90/70 and took me off one medication. I have lost 6.1 lbs. and the pain in my legs had gone away. All very positive. I started weaning from the prednisone and that has not been pleasant. I went from 10 mg. to 7.5 yesterday and I had diarrhea, nausea, body aches and pains. I’m better than I was before the surgery but I’m ready to feel “normal” again.
I was diagnosed with Cushing’s last November and had surgery to remove the pituitary adenoma in March.
It took me FOREVER (over 3 y) to get a diagnosis. None of my doctor’s would really listen. I was SO frustrated but kept on pushing because I KNEW something wasn’t right. Pre- surgery I had excess hair (facial+), weight gain (abdominal), stertch marks, fatigue, very irregular menstrual cycle…..Now that I’ve had the tumor removed I still have problems.
I’m hoping that some of you will help me to answer those questions/problems. My facial hair has slowed down, I’ve lost over 65 pounds in 3 months, I’m going through menpause now (I’m 36yo), my hair is starting to fall out, I have NO energy/fatigued all the time, some days I wake up OK and others I wake up vomiting or very unsteady like I’m going to pass out if I’m on my feet for too long. I am very depressed.
My life has fallen apart. My marriage is over, I have had to move in with my mother, I am unemployed, and I can’t do the fun things that I should be able to do with my 8yo daughter. I have no friends and my family is not supportive at all. They say I just need to get off my *ss. I’m tired of people blaming depression, laziness, etc. I want my life back.
I need help and don’t know where to turn. I hope that I can learn what I need to do solve these problems and meet some people who can send some sunshine my way.
We lost another Cushie sister today. Kalyn Allen’s husband posted this on Facebook:
This afternoon my beautiful wife and mother of my children completed her path in this life so that she may be reborn again into the next. She was surrounded by her children, family, and friends when she transitioned very peacefully. She now is free to be reborn again and continue the cycle of life to hope one day to reach nirvana. While we will morn her passing our attachments to this world of suffering and rebirth are what bring us back over and over. So let us not mourn a loss today but say good luck in the next. For we are full of desire for this world and we will surely meet again.
Yesterday he posted:
Kalyn is in critical condition in the CV-ICU at St. John’s in Tulsa in a medically induced coma due to pulmonary embolisms in her lungs and thrombosis in her legs. She had a procedure last night to install a VC fiter and to remove as many clots as possible in her lungs. They cant use tPA to dissolve the clots without a great risk of bleeds in the previous brain surgery. Today was difficult. Kalyn had a cardiac event and coded for a few minutes this afternoon. They quickly resuscitated her with only 2 sets of chest compressions but at this point we are unsure why it happened. She stabilized very quickly afterwards with good rhythm and pressure. A blood clot may have temporary blocked something. She is still being kept sedated and intubated and they can’t move her yet to to do anymore scans and at this point they would not be able to use contrast due to the stress on her kidneys. At this point we are still just touch and go. Because she is in ICU you can not send flowers and if you would please ask a family member if there is an appropriate time to visit. Instead of flowers we are still in need of funds as the children and I are having to make daily trips into tulsa and back home each night and the cost of meals while we are there so any donations would be helpful. Thank you everyone for your kind words of support.
My name is Kalyn I am 41 years old. I am married and have three children. In Nov ‘16 I was diagnosed with Cushing’s Disease.
My journey began in June ‘16 when I attended a health screening provided by my employer. It was discovered that my blood pressure was dangerously high and I was sent to my physician. I was prescribed blood pressure medicine. A couple of weeks later I joined a wellness program to turn around my exercise and eating habits in hopes that it would help me lose weight and lower my blood pressure.
Over the next few months I was seen by my physician numerous times. I was beginning to have strange symptoms. I was easily bruising. Dark purple stretch marks started to appear out of nowhere. I had hair loss on my head but excessive hair growth on my face. My ankles and hands swelled along with a loss of muscle mass in my legs, horrible acne and a shortness of breath. While my physician tried several different medications they were not alleviating my symptoms. At this point I was having trouble getting in and out of my car and the shower. I also started seeing a therapist because the excess hormones in my system were causing uncontrollable mood swings. During this time I was exercising and following the wellness program losing 52 pounds from June until the end of Oct. But there were still issues controlling my blood pressure. It was at this point that my physician referred me to an endocrinologist.
The endocrinologist ordered a multitude of tests to measure my cortisol levels as Cushing’s disease was suspected. To be thorough an MRI was ordered of my brain to see if they could find a tumor on my pituitary gland. This was done at the end of Dec. It was discovered that I had a 3.7 millimeter tumor on my pituitary gland. From there I was referred to a brain surgeon.
My condition continues to deteriorate as I am experiencing extreme fatigue, intense muscle and joint pain while having excruciating headaches almost everyday. Among other agonizing symptoms that complicate the situation.
I now have surgery scheduled for the first week of May ’17 to remove the tumor. I will be in the hospital for 3-7 days and my recovery time will be from 6-8 weeks. I will have to travel hours away to have the surgery and remain there during my stay in the hospital. My parents will be by my side during surgery. But unfortunately my children and husband will not be able to accompany me due to the expense and not being able to leave our farm animals unattended for that long.
During this time away from work I will be on short term disability. My employers short term disability plan only covers 80% of my wages during this time. This will result in my family undergoing a financial hardship as my husband and parents undertake the task of my care during recovery and attempting to cover the missing 20% plus extra expenses such as medicines and doctors appointments.
I am asking for your compassion and support to help my family and I through these trying times. This journey has been a roller coaster of emotions and physical pain for myself and my family. My Mother has been such a rock for me listening to me complain and cry. My Father has also been there for me always willing to talk and making me smile and laugh even if I didn’t feel like it. My Husband has taken over so much responsibility that was mine. And my children are always willing to help me out with the little things. It is frustrating going from being very active and able to do so many things I love to now only being able to go into the office to work several days a week and the rest of the week working from home doing little else because of the pain and the fatigue. I just want to get back to normal.
Update 5/3/17:
Kalyn’s surgery was very successful and the doctors said they where able to see and remove the tumor only taking 40% of her pituitary gland. She is in recovery now and will be in the hospital for the remainder of the week. She would like to thank everyone for their continuing support over the next few months while she recovers.
Update 5/4/17:
We got some bad news today. After removing the tumor along with 40% of Kalyn’s pituitary gland, her cortisol levels are still high, meaning there is still something else causing her cushings. So we are back to square one. Now we wait to see what the surgeons and the endocrinologists came up with. She is still in a lot of pain and exhausted because it is hard to sleep with all the packing in her sinuses. With this news she will probably have to stay in the hospital longer and may have to have another surgery to remove the rest of her pituitary if they can’t find anything else. The Dr’s may order a PET/CT scan to look other places for tumors but that may take up to 48 hours to get access to the machine.
Update 5/8/17:
Kalyn went in for a PET/CT scan this morning at 6:45 to look for any other tumors or cancer that could be causing the Cushing’s disease. Baring the scan finding anything, later this week the surgical team will go back in and remove the remainder of her pituitary gland. This will result in her being required to be on several medications the rest of her life. While removing the pituitary should solve the Cushing’s it opens the door to increased risk of complications and additional heath problems in the future. She will have to stay in the hospital much longer then anticipated and may have a longer recovery time. The children and husband where able go to OKC on Saturday to visited with her in ICU. This was the first time we have been able to see here in a week besides video chats. They spent several hours together and everyone enjoyed the short time with mom. Thank you Bob Eden for driving the family to OKC and for the pizza lunch everyone enjoyed. Kalyn remains optimistic and in high spirits considering the circumstances. She enjoys and appreciates all the kind words and support she has received though this difficult ordeal. The results of the PET/CT scan should come back quickly and we hope to not have to deliver any more bad news. This ordeal has been very stressful for her and the family and we are hoping for a favorable resolution soon. Kalyn and the family thank you for your continuing support and donations.
Update 6/26/17:
Kalyn is in critical condition in the CV-ICU at (hospital ommited) in Tulsa in a medically induced coma due to pulmonary embolisms in her lungs and thrombosis in her legs. She had a procedure last night to install a VC fiter and to remove as many clots as possible in her lungs. They cant use tPA to dissolve the clots without a great risk of bleeds in the previous brain surgery. Today was difficult. Kalyn had a cardiac event and coded for a few minutes this afternoon. They quickly resuscitated her with only 2 sets of chest compressions but at this point we are unsure why it happened. She stabilized very quickly afterwards with good rhythm and pressure. A blood clot may have temporary blocked something. She is still being kept sedated and intubated and they can’t move her yet to to do anymore scans and at this point they would not be able to use contrast due to the stress on her kidneys. At this point we are still just touch and go.Because she is in ICU you can not send flowers and if you would please ask a family member if there is an appropriate time to visit. Instead of flowers we are still in need of funds as the children and husband are having to make daily trips into Tulsa and back home each night and the cost of meals while we are there so any donations would be helpful. Thank you everyone for your kind words of support.
After 2 failed pit surgeries and a CSF leak repair,
BLA on Sept. 11, 2008 w/Dr. Fraker at UPenn
Gamma knife radiation at UPenn Oct. 2009
Now disabled and homebound. No pit, no adrenals and radiation damage to my hypothalamus.
My cure is God’s will, and I still have hope and faith!
During her too-short life, she provided help and support to other Cushies.
Hi y’all! I will try to make this short, but there is a lot to say.
I stumbled across this board after a google search last night. Yesterday, I finally saw a real endocrinologist. I am 39 years old. I weigh 362. I was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist with PCOS at age 30, but all of my symptoms started at age 22.
At age 22, I was an avid runner, healthy at 140-145 pounds and 5’7″. I got a knee injury and stopped running right around the time that my periods just….stopped. And by stopped, I mean completely disappeared after mostly regular periods since age 12. I was tested by the student health clinic at UGA, and referred to an obgyn for lap exploration for endometriosis, which was ruled out. I remember that they ran some bloodwork and ultimately came back with this frustrating response: We don’t know what it is, but it’s probably stress-related because your cortisol is elevated.
Soon thereafter, I gained 80 pounds in about 6 months, and another 30 the next six months. Suddenly, in one year, I was 110 pounds heavier than my original weight of 140. I recall my mom and sister talking about how fast I was gaining weight. At the time, I blamed myself: I wasn’t eating right, I’d had to stop running due to the knee injury and my metabolism must have been “used” to the running; I was going through some family problems, so it must be that I’m eating for emotional reasons related to depression. You name the self-blame category, and I tried them all on for size.
Whatever the reason, I stopped avoiding mirrors and cameras. The person looking back at me was a stranger, and acquaintances had stopped recognizing me. A bank refused to cash my security deposit refund check from my landlord when I graduated because I no longer looked like my student ID or my driver’s license. I was pulled over for speeding while driving my dad’s Mercedes graduation weekend, and the cop who pulled me over almost arrested me for presenting a false ID. These are some really painful memories, and I wonder if anyone here can relate to the pain of losing your physical identity to the point that you are a stranger to yourself and others?
Speaking of size, from age 24 to 26 I remained around 250, had very irregular periods occuring only a few times a year (some induced), developed cystic acne in weird places, like my chest, shoulders, buttocks (yikes!), found dark, angry purple stretch marks across my abdomen (some of which I thought were so severe that my insides were going to come out through them) which I blamed on the weight gain, the appearance of a pronounced buffalo hump (which actually started at age 22 at the beginning of the weight gain), dark black hairs on my fair Scottish chin (and I’m talking I now have to shave twice daily), a slight darkening of the skin around my neck and a heavy darkening of the skin in my groin area, tiny skin tags on my neck. I was feeling truly lovely by graduation from law school and my wedding to my wonderful DH.
At age 26, I ballooned again, this time up to 280-300, where I stayed until age 32, when I went up to 326. The pretty girl who used to get cat calls when she ran was no more. She had been buried under a mountain of masculined flesh. I still had a pretty, albeit very round, face, though. And I consoled myself that I still have lovely long blonde hair — that is, until it started falling out, breaking off, feeling like straw.
At age 30, I read about PCOS on the internet and referred myself to a reproductive endocrinologist, who confirmed insulin resistance after a glucose tolerance test. I do not know what else he tested for — I believe my testosterone was high. He prescribed Metformin, but after not having great success on it after 5-6 months, I quit taking it, and seeing him. Dumb move.
Two years later, at age 32, I weighed 326. In desperation, I went on Phentermine for 3 months and lost 80 pounds the wrong way, basically starving. I was back down to 240-250, where I remained from age 33-35. After the weight loss, I got my period a few times, and started thinking about trying to have a baby. Many ultrasounds per month over a few months revealed that I just wasn’t ovulating. I decided to put off starting the family when the doctor started talking about IVF, etc. It just seemed risky to me — my body, after all, felt SICK all the time, and I couldn’t imagine carrying a baby and it winding up to be healthy.
At age 35, I ballooned again, this time significantly — from 240 to 320 in the space of 6 months. Another 45 pounds added by age 37, so that’s 125 pounds in two year. I’ve remained between 345-365 for the last two years, depending on how closely I was following my nutritionist’s recommended 1600 calorie per day diet….which was not all the time.
Which takes me to last year. I went for a physical because I wasn’t feeling well, kept getting sick, had a lot of fatigue, weird sweating where my hair would get totally drenched for no reason. At this point, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, hypothyroism (which has now been modified to Hashimoto’s thyroidis), high cholesterol (although this was present at age 30 when I got the PCOS diagnosis). I went back to my repro-endo, and resolved to make myself stay on Metformin this time. All last year was a series of monthly blood work and attempts to lose weight with an eye toward trying to get pregnant this year. By the end of the year, I was successful in taking off only 20 pounds, and my repro-endo (always with an eye toward fertility and not health), really pushed me to give up on losing weight at that moment and to start taking Clomid. Or else, he said. The words that broke my heart: this may be your last chance.
So, skip forward to January 2006. My ovaries are blown out and they are clear — no blockages. I get cleared to start fertility treatments. My husband undergoes his own embarrassing tests. I think we have an agenda here, but my mind was chewing on serious concerns that I was simply too unhealthy to be considering trying this. That, and I felt it would be a futile effort.
By the way, more than a year on the Metformin with no real changes to anything. Why doesn’t my body respond to it like other people with PCOS?
Then late March, I started experiencing extreme fatigue. And I’m not talking about the kind where you need to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon to gear up for the week ahead (which I’d always considered a nice indulgence, but not a necessity). I’m talking debilitating, life-altering fatigue. It didn’t start out right away to be debilitating — or maybe I just made the usual excuses as I always do relating to my health: I’m still getting over that flu/cold from last month. I just got a promotion at work (though I note a greatly reduced stress and caseload now that I am a managing attorney. My weight is causing it. Whatever.
I let it go on for a full two months before I started to really worry, or admit to myself that my quality life had taken a serious downward turn. You see, despite my weight and my scary appearance, I have always been the “director” type. By that I mean that last year, I worked with two other women to direct 100 volunteers to start a summer camp for inner city kids, and I had enough energy to run this ambitious new project and to film, produce and edit a 30 minute documentary on it by the end of the summer.
In contrast, I had to take a backseat this year. I basically sat in a chair and answered the questions of volunteers, made a few phone calls here and there, and was simply a “presence” in case something major went wrong. Such a major change from the year before, where I was running the whole show 14 hours a day and loving it.
But I am getting ahead of myself. (Is anyone still reading this? I must be narcissitic to think so….yet, I wonder if anyone else has gone through a similar progression….)
Back to May. After two months of this fatigue, I change to a new primary care physician and get a whole workup: blood, urine, thyroid ultrasound, cardiac stress test, liver ultrasound when my enzymes, which had been slightly elevated, were found to have doubled since January. Appointments with a gastroenterologist, and FINALLY….a REAL endocrinologist. Ruled out any serious liver problems (and my levels, surprisingly, dropped back to the slightly elevated level in a space of 3 weeks and no treatment).
Yesterday, I heard a word I’d only heard spoken once before in my life: Cushings. Way back when I was 22 and had started gaining weight so rapidly, I had a boyfriend who worked the graveyard shift at the local hospital. He spent the better part of a non-eventful week of nights pouring over medical books in the library. He excitedly showed me the pages he’d photocopied, which had sketches of a woman with a very rounded face (like mine), striae on her stomach (like mine), abdomenal obesity (like mine) and a pronounced buffalo hump. Although my former boyfriend was just a college student working his way through his music degree by earing some money moonlighting as a hospital security guard, he was the first one to note all of these tell-tale signs.
When I got my diagnosis of PCOS, I remember discounting his amateur diagnosis, and I never thought of it again.
Until yesterday, when my new endo asked me if anyone had ever tested my cortisol or if I’d ever done a 24 hour urine test. I said no, and he started writing out the referral form along with like 15-20 different blood tests. And although we’d started our appointment with him telling me he agreed with my repro-endo’s encouragement to go ahead and try to get pregnant if I can, by the end of the visit, he was telling me not everyone is meant to be a parent, there is always adoption, etc. The only thing that happened during the appointment was that I gave him my basic history of weight gain, described the fatigue, and let him examine my striae, buffalo hump and legs (which were hidden under a long straight skirt). The question about the urine screen and corisol came after this physical exam, during which he was taking lots of notes.
Then the word, which was not spoken directly to me but to his nurse practioner as I was making my two-week appointment in the reception area outside the examining room: “She looks classic Cushings. I’ll be interested to get those results.”
Cushings. Cushings. No– that’s not me. I’m not that weird-shaped, hairy, mannish-looking, round-faced, hump-backed creature my boyfriend had shown me a picture of 16 years earlier. I have PCOS, right? It’s just my fault. I don’t eat right. If I’d just eat better, I wouldn’t be 2.5 times my weight in college. Right?
I quickly came home and did an internet search. Within an hour, I was sitting in front of the computer, reading some bios here and BAWLING, just crying some body-wracking sobs as I looked at the pictures of the people on this board. Here, here (!!!!) is an entire community who has the same, wrenchingly painful picture-proven physical progression that I went through. The same symptoms and signs. Words of encouragement — of….hope. I didn’t feel scared to read about the possibility of a pituitary tumor — last year, I had a brain MRI of the optic nerve because of sudden vision irregularities, headaches and shooting eye pain. The MRI showed nothing, but then again, the image was not that great because I had to go into the lower-resolution open MRI due to my size.
I have no idea whether I have Cushing’s Syndrome or not, but these are my first steps in my journey of finding out. After living my entire adult life with an array of progressive, untreatable, brushed-off symptoms (and years of self-blame for depression, obesity, becoming so unattractive), there was a major “click” as I read this site, and a sense of relief that maybe, just maybe, what I have has a name, I’m not crazy/fat/ugly/lazy, the PCOS diagnosis, which has gotten me nowhere is incorrect, and I might have something TREATABLE.
So, without going so far as to say I hope for a diagnosis, I am hopeful for some definitive answers. If my urine tests are inconclusive (and my doctor only ordered one and no serum cortisol tests), I am going to fly out to L.A. and see Dr. Friedman for a full work up.
And, I’ll keep you posted.
Thank you for posting your stories, which have encouraged me to advocate for myself in a manner and direction, which this time, may be fruitful.
Be well, my new friends,
Kate
p.s. I will post some pictures this week after I scan some of the “after” one….I try to avoid the camera at all costs. I’m sure you understand just what I’m talking about, and for that, I am truly grateful.
I was diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome about 4 yrs ago at 40 yrs old if my terrible memory serves me right.
I was told it was due to the steriods my Neurologist prescribed for Trigeminal Neuralgia and other severe facial pain. I was 110 lbs before the weight gain which ended up leaving me somewhere over 200lbs.
I had the moon face, buffalo hump, fluid retention, hair loss, blurry vision, thinning skin, confusion, anxiety, depression, terrible back pain, skin eruptions, hot flashes, and exhaustion etc. I struggled to stay awake and would fall asleep mid sentence.
The back and hip pain were so intense I couldn’t walk on my own so I had to use a walker for over 2 yrs. Sometimes I still have to use it. I needed help getting to the bathroom. I was to weak to stand up in the shower. I was in bed 95% of the time. I was sick for a couple of years before my diagnosis.
Once PROPERLY diagnosed after many Drs made me feel as though this was all in my head. I was finally put on a long steroid taper, potassium and vitamin D. Fast forward 4 years after being told I had Cushing’s I am still debilitated by some of the syptoms.
Though I was told in the ER that my pituitary gland has started working again I am extremely weak and in pain. So much so I rarely get put of bed unless it’s for a Dr’s appointment. I have lost over 50 lbs but am left with purple stretch marks on my upper arms, breasts, stomach and hips. Also the skinny arms and legs with a fatty midsection. I am so frustrated with my body not allowing me to live a normal life.
Hopefully someone here can help me with some way to fight the fatigue, lethargy, libido and hot flashes that still remain. I am taking magnesium and vitamin D. and several other medications for a variety of symptoms but nothing in particular for the last symptoms I mentioned. Is there anything one can do to have more energy? I become out of breath just walking across the room.
Many prayers and blessings to those suffering from Cushing’s.
Recent Comments