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Melissa, Pituitary Bio

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From February 5, 2008

When I was 22 I had a pituitary tumor (cushings) which I had surgery for and thought I was cured but about 2 years ago I started having symptoms again and the tumor is back.

I am 32 now I wonder if this is really curable.

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Natalie Stokes, Pituitary Bio

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A SINGLE mother suffering from a debilitating rare disease effecting her whole body has been left “disgusted and appalled” after being judged ‘fit to work’.

Natalie Stokes, of Saint Agnes Close in Studley, suffers from Cushing’s disease, a condition where the body produces excess steroid hormones. She had her disability benefits withdrawn eight weeks ago.

Natalie had her allowance withdrawn after an assessment carried out by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) in January deemed her ‘compos mentis’ and fit to work – despite both her GP and consultant brain surgeon providing a sick note.

The 33-year-old was diagnosed with Cushing’s last year after countless trips over eight years to see her GP.

She started claiming employment and support allowance (ESA) last January.

She said her condition, which has deteriorated over the years, is “changeable” and suffers fatigue, nausea, insomnia, irritability, memory loss, poor concentration and as a result depression.

Physically, Natalie is tackling life-limiting side affects which include, extreme weight gain, excess hair growth, a rounded ‘moon face’ due to fat deposits, thin skin, boils and severe pains from movement and incontinence.

She said she was “disgusted and appalled” at her benefits being withdrawn.

“Yes I can raise my hand above my head but I am by no means ‘fit for work'”, she said.

In February, she was instructed to visit Redditch Job Centre for an interview but shortly into the meeting an assistant told her there was no point continuing it as Natalie was too unwell to work.

Following the meeting, on the advice of job centre staff Natalie reapplied for benefits with depression but recently received a letter turning her down.

Natalie, who has a five year old son named Charlie, is currently undergoing treatment and doctors believe she has developed a second pituitary gland tumour at the base of the brain after recently having one removed.

Her father Thomas, has Parkinson’s disease and dementia, and despite Natalie’s condition she tries to help mother, Cathie, care for her dad but admits the pair “help look after each other”.

Prior to her condition she worked all her life.

She said: “I was raised with good work ethics and from two weeks after leaving school held down a full time job and even attended evening college to train and become a counsellor.”

“I have ambition and can’t wait to be well enough to work but the fact is at the moment I am not capable.”

She is now considering talking her case to tribunal.

A Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) spokesman said: “The decision on whether someone is well enough to work is taken following a thorough independent assessment, including all available evidence provided from the claimant’s GP or medical specialist. Anyone who disagrees with the outcome of their assessment can appeal.”

From http://www.eveshamjournal.co.uk/news/regional/15232560.Single_mother_suffering_from_a_debilitating_rare_disease_judged__fit_to_work_/

 

Correy D (Cushie Correy), Pituitary Bio

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pituitary-location
In the beginning:

This journey started long before I knew it did. I was healthy for the first 27 years of my life. Around 27 or 28 I started having problems. It started with high blood pressure. No problem, that runs in the family. Medication will solve that. Around 30 there was something more strange going on. I still produced milk even though my youngest was 5. My doctor sent me in for a galactogram (a mammogram with dye injected in my glands). It came back normal. My breast and mammary glands were fine.

Over the next few years came depression, weight gain regardless of diet and exercise, and random muscle strains. My doctor said to try a little harder and eat a little better. I threw my hands up in the air. I had already tried everything and still I was gaining. This went on from 2009 to about June of this year.

In June of 2013 I broke a rib when I was trying to crack my back. June of 2014 I broke another one on the opposite side when I was coughing. Finally, my doctor took notice. All the sudden my previous diagnosis were not individual issues, but symptoms of a bigger problem. Cushing’s disease has a laundry list of symptoms and I had almost all of them. I had already mentioned lactation, high blood pressure, depression, weight gain and brittle bones. I also had other symptoms I was not even aware of. My face had become round and red, most of my weight accumulated in my torso, there was a pronounced fat hump on my upper back, there were purple marks on my belly (striae) which I had thought were stretch marks, my face had become fuzzy, and I hadn’t had a period in at least 7 years.

The symptoms weren’t enough for a diagnosis. My doctor orders labs for hormone levels, cortisol levels, and I don’t know what else (about 5 blood vials worth). These came back with high cortisol levels and enough other oddities that I was referred on to an endocrinologist. This doctor did the first panel of tests over and added a few more. It seemed that everyone knew what it was but no one wanted to be the one to diagnose Cushing’s.

Now there are only a couple of things that can cause Cushing’s. The first is steroid abuse…ummm, no. The second is a tumor either on the pituitary gland or the adrenal gland. These marvelous tests determined that it was the pituitary version because if it was adrenal only cortisol would have been effected. The pituitary gland controls a myriad of chemicals in your body and all my levels were off.

OK, so they were convinced it was Cushing’s, now we just had to see the tumor to prove it…MRI time. I don’t know if you have ever had an MRI but I despise them. Reasons, I am claustrophobic and very large. It was a horrible experience resulting in fuzzy images, but they were clear enough to show a tumor sitting square on my pituitary gland. For those who have not looked it up by now the pituitary is on the front (face) side of your brain, settled in between the major artery and vein in your head, right behind your eye balls and sinus cavity. This is not a convenient place to have a tumor.

The endocrinologist then referred me to a neurosurgeon. The local surgeon referred my case to Mayo Clinic of Minnesota. So, we are talking tests and waiting from June through September. I was told to report to Mayo September 23rd. I was given the impression I would meet the doc and be scheduled for surgery Wednesday or Thursday. This was not so.

I brought a team with me: my sister, Amanda and her friend Athena and my bestie Lauren. We first met with the Mayo endocrinologist, Dr. Abboud. He decided he wanted to run his own tests there before there would be a surgery. He did blood test, urine tests, even saliva tests. In the meantime, I met the neurosurgeon up there, Dr. Von Gompel. He explained the surgery and scheduled it for September 30th 2014.

Here are my Facebook posts from this time:

9/23 First Mayo Update:

I met with Dr. Charles Abboud, Endocrinologist and we did an in-depth evaluation of my symptoms, physical characteristics, and medical history. There are so many things that I have considered normal for me over the past 8 years that are related to this disease. It’s nutso pants.

Anyways, it was determined before surgery they want to do more scans and testing because although it is likely the pituitary tumor is the cause, I may have other contributing tumors elsewhere. This means I will likely be up here longer than anticipated with surgery delayed for a minimum of 3 days to get results on this battery of testing. More to follow…

9/23 Second Mayo Update:

I have now received the schedule for the week. I will have more scans to be sure there are no tumors elsewhere. I will also have various test on bodily fluids, secretions, swabbings and their reactions to different medications throughout the week.

I met with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Jamie Van Gompel this afternoon. This was the appointment in which they gave me the assessment of what the surgery would entail for my case specifically, risks, odds of complications and most importantly a date. The trans sphenoidal endoscopic surgery (I feel so smart) will be next Tuesday now. Until then more waiting…and testing…and more waiting.

Sept. 24

Yesterday was information overload. Between consultations and running floors 1-19 of the clinic multiple times then making extended hotel arrangements and Walgreen’s runs I was exhausted x12.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On to today: I am finally closing out day one of excessive testing. Upon arrival at the clinic I turned in samples of #’s 1 and 2 and saliva (all separate, thank gods). Due to my claustrophobia, we opted for wheelchair when using the elevators (I had collapsed yesterday when one got too full on me.)

At 8 am there were 6 vials of blood drawn, 9:30 a chest x-ray, then a info session for my sleep study tonight, next a midsection CT scan with contrast (holy warm sauce) and finally another blood draw for my PM cortisol levels. Whew…donsies!!!

Sept 24

I have difficulty sleeping without a fan. I have not slept well the past couple of nights because of lack of air movement. I was all ready to run to Target and buy one when Lauren was like, I’ll just call the front desk and see if they have them. This is me being used to self-reliance vs actual customer service. My sleep study is saved. Now we’ll see if I legitimately stop breathing.

Sept 26

Friday update:

The past couple of days have been kind of slow compared to the first couple here. Yesterday completed my sleep study and CT looking for additional Timons, results still pending. Today I had a bone density test. This shit gave me osteoporosis. That’s why my ribs kept breaking. Over the weekend, I’ll have more ‘sample collections’ and blood draws and attempt to not be bored to death in between.

On the plus side the weather has been gorgeous, I have had muchos girl/sissy time, and in a town like this survival stories abound.

Have a GREAT weekend!!

Sept 29

Case of the Mayo Mondays:

Today began with another blood test. This one, the lab tech had to get an IV which is generally not an issue for me. This time the guy blew out two veins. The 3rd try he “kind of” a clear one in my hand. Through this he had to do medication injections and blood draws at 15 minute intervals for an hour and a half. This resulted in knots in 3 places where veins used to reside.

Next up was a head CT to map my brain. This was interesting to me. I got another IV (a clear one this time) for contrast dye, nodes stuck all over my face and head, and run through a CT scanner. From this they will make a map of the blood vessels through my head to help the surgeon navigate tomorrow. They removed the nodes but left dots in permanent marker and tape over them so they do not get wiped off before tomorrow. It will be interesting walking around town tonight.

I am done with appointments for the day. Whoop!

The good news of the day: The chest CT showed “multiple healing rib fractures” but no more Timones. Yay!!

At 8:30 tonight I will call an automated system, enter my patient ID, and find out what time to report for duty tomorrow. I must find distraction. I am starting to get anxious. Can it be next week already?

Sept 29 Post 2

Reporting for duty at 5:45 am central.

Tomorrow determines if I get to continue to eat vegetables or become one…

Sept 30 I registered at St. Mary’s Hospital and got settled in. Surgery began at 9:25. I was done around 13:00.

Oct 1

My first post-surgery post

Timone is gone. I am tired.

Oct 2

Hey all, got behind on the updates because a lot has changed very quickly. I have “complications”. Please keep positive energy pointed this direction. I may be up here for a while now.later Oct 2

If medical stuff makes you icky, keep scrolling.

So here’s the run down after surgery. The tumor removal itself went well. They believe they got the whole thing without much damage to the pituitary gland. The two issues that remain are post-surgery my cerebral spinal fluid (csf) sprung a leak and the Cushing’s disease that the tumor caused kicked in.

A few hours after surgery I started dripping/ running clear “snot” from my nose. It only happened when I was upright or leaned forward. The fluid was tested and determined to be csf. Now a person cannot just go around leaking brain juice so action had to be taken. The doctors put in a lumbar puncture and are draining spinal fluid every two hours. This will take the pressure off my head and give it a chance to heal. This means I am here at least till Sunday. If this does not work, they must go back in and manually patch the leak.

The Cushing disease also kicked in full effect today. That meant today with the tumor gone the excess amounts of cortisol my body was used to stopped and I crashed. This would be like a meth head going cold turkey. This morning was spent trying to find the right steroid/ dose to balance me back out. With luck, I will be able to wean off these eventually.

As they steroids are currently wearing off again I’m going to sleep because I don’t really have a choice. NITE ALL!!!

Oct 6

So I know it’s been a while….

The day after my last update they put in a lumbar puncture and connected a drain to it. 10 ml of csf was drained every 2 hours for 2 days. This took the pressure off my brain= no more leakage= time to heal. I have also been sleeping almost nonstop. It seems to have worked, no more nose leakage. They drained 30 ml this morning and will do one more drain tomorrow AM and if no more leakage I will get all my departing instructions and GET TO LEAVE.

Next challenge: re-balancing my chemical physiology.

Oct 7

This morning I woke up in Minnesota, still in the hospital. They stole more blood, drained more csf, and pulled that thing out of my back. Best news of the day: After they pulled out the drain my nose did not start leaking again. This meant I was clear to leave…woot!

Paperwork, discharge instructions, shower because ewww hospital, prescriptions, freedom. Oh no, not yet, doctor appointment with my favorite endocrinologist of all time, Dr. Abboud. So, it took a while but home we came.

I have a fuzzy head but full heart. Thank you all so much for your kind words.

Home at last and then the real Cushing’s journey began.

Home Sweet What?!?!?

I came home from Mayo October 7. Home to me may be considered a madhouse to others. My house contains my children (17-year-old girl, 10-year-old boy), my sister, 3 dogs, 4 cats, and 3 turtles. Upstairs contains my dittos and 2 of the cats; the basement homes my sister, her two dogs, and the other 2 cats; and the main level is myself, my dog (Toby), and the stupid turtles. I was happy to be going home to my madhouse.

Before the surgery I had done quite a bit of research about the symptoms of Cushing’s, the causes, the surgery itself. I had not, however researched much about Cushing’s recovery. While still in the hospital I remember sleeping, in between all the intermittent blood draws, vitals checks, and med administering. There was not much else. Once home I was initially just concerned with watching for brain juice leakage. I was not prepared for reality.

Read reality:

http://csrf.net/doctors-articles/recovery/recovery-from-cushings-and-coping-with-recovery/

My reality also included my madhouse. For as full as my house is I spend most of my days alone. My sis works nights so she is sleeping during my waking hours and gone overnight, the dittos are in school and the girl works nights. The cats are on their respective floors. It’s just me and my Toby since the turtles are not for me. When I’m awake, I look around and see all the things I could be doing if I was mobile. The floors need swept, dishes need done, general tidying and dusting required. It’s not that these things never get done but they could be done faster if I were able.

I have now been home a month. Physically, I was more ok when I got home than now. At that point I was still tapering down prednisone. I was still sleeping quite a bit, especially after dropping my dosage, but by the end of the week I was moving around more. After a few weeks, the tapering was done and I crashed once again. I am sleeping till the afternoon. I am weak to the point that moving from room to room is exercise, painful exercise. I stopped taking the prescribed pain killers so I am depending on Tylenol. Tylenol sucks ass. I also still lose words. Often, I cannot complete a sentence. I know exactly what needs to be said but the term, phrase, or name is completely gone. In my “before Cushing’s life” I was pretty flipping eloquent so this is extremely frustrating. To be honest the whole thing is frustrating. I am a strong intelligent independent woman reduced to incapable and not so eloquent blob.

A series of unfortunate events…the sequel.

I suppose I should start at the end of my last post which was flippin January for gods sake. I don’t know why I felt the need to stop writing when things started getting bad again. Documenting my recovery was so much more positive than writing about a relapse but now it’s time to catch up. Cushing’s is a journey with highs and lows. Jump on the coaster with me.

At the end of January I was on the way over a big hill on the coaster. I was doing water aerobics, getting more mobile, working with dogs again. I had my appointment with the local endo and she was dismissive. She basically said the tumor was gone and I should be losing weight faster. This is the exact reason that not just any endo should deal with Cushing’s patients. They don’t get it. Removing the tumor is only step one. Next is re-balancing hormones, then dealing with all the havoc Cushing’s has left behind. My January cortisol labs had been normal, as in recovered norm which was a recovery from the crash post op 0. It is not usual to be at normal range so soon after weaning of prednisone, but we took it for good news anyways.

By mid Feb I was starting to get nervous. I was starting to feel things, previous symptom kind of things. My skin started to break out again, I had headaches again, and I started to gain weight to spite moving more than I had in over a year. I had a follow-up MRI in February. There was the post op variances they expected and then, there it was, a new 2 mm regrowth. FML!

I did not feel good about continuing with the local endo. I could not shake the feeling she had blown me off as just another fat hypochondriac. My GP referred me down to U of I where I met Dr. Christina Ogrin. Our first appointment she took a whole afternoon to listen to my story. She told me she had never dealt with Cushing’s before but she wanted to help and she would work with her colleagues and research to see where we needed to go from if the tests confirmed a recurrence. We repeated the cortisol and other hormone tests that had just been performed in January and there was the confirmation. My cortisol was back above normal range. Dr. Ogrin contacted Dr. Abboud, my Mayo endo, to get his take on the situation. After consulting the U of I team, Dr. Abboud, and her own research, Dr. Ogrin laid out the options.

1. Operate again

2. Go on ketoconazole and get radiation

3. Try a newer medication (Signifor) to counter the cortisol and possibly shrink the tumor.

As I was just coming off of my first trans sphenoidal adenectomy, I was not eager to jump on that again. I had heard horrible things about ketoconazole so that was not a happy thought. Signifor sounded like my best option.

There were many baseline tests that had to be performed to start this process. We tested cortisol levels from blood, pee, and spit. We did a new MRI (April) which showed Marty* had already grown. I had an EKG and ultrasound of my gallbladder because Signifor can affected the heart and cause gallstones. When we did the gallbladder ultrasound there were already about 9 good sized stones present. At that point it was decided I should have it removed prior to starting the medication. Signifor also causes an increase in blood sugar and since mine was already borderline high they started me on Metformin. They tell me my gallbladder has to come out, a preventative measure since the odds if it causing problems if it stayed were close to 100%. Sweet. Here I am taking it all in stride. If that’s the next step, then that is what we will do. My coworkers were supportive and told me to put my health first. I would not lose my job. Woot!

May came in like a whirlwind. I had a pre-op appointment with general surgery to set up my gallbladder removal. A couple of days after that I was in my garage leaving for work when I lost my balance and fell forward catching myself with my arms outstretched. My balance, muscles, and bone strength had all taken a hit from the Cushing’s so my arm snapped. The break was bad, right above the elbow, there was one clean break and another longer break up the bone. One ambulance ride and many pain pills later I was admitted at St. Luke’s and informed they would have to operate. I am now the proud owner of hardware in my arm.

At this point I was already scheduled for my Laparoscopic Gallbladder Removal (Cholecystectomy) so in the beginning of June we went ahead and did that too. What is supposed to be a simple surgery went sideways when they nicked my liver. I had to have a icky drain for the bleeding. A couple weeks later I went to have the drain removed and everything looked fine. That night I starting to get sick. My temp went up, I started vomiting and my stomach hurt so much I thought I would pass out which would have been a blessing because I wanted to sleep till it was over but I could not due to the pain. I know, run on sentence, but it was a run-on couple of days. My stubborn behind would not go to the doctor because I had just been and everything was ok. Or not…

I ended up in the ER again. They transported me from St Luke’s to U of I because my liver levels were ridiculous high and the local hospital did not want to deal with my issues. Once at the U, I was admitted, poked, and prodded. By the end it was determined that I was passing a gallstone that had gotten stuck on the wrong side of the clip when they took my gallbladder. This can only happen in my world. Who passes a gallstone when they no longer have a gallbladder? This girl.

This took us to July. Dr. Ogrin was out of the country. She wanted me to take the month to recover and get used to the Metformin. We would meet when she returned to start the Signifor. And so we did. Signifor is very expensive as it is rare and there are no generics for it. Dr. Ogrin successfully fought the insurance company because there is no other FDA approved medication for pituitary Cushing’s. The first month I was on it there was little relief. My brain fog was back along with my other returned symptoms and now I also had extreme digestive issues. These were three part. Gallbladder removal itself affects digestion. The Metformin is known to cause such problems. Now the Signifor injections themselves cause nausea. After a month, I got a 2-week reprieve because the insurance company denied my renewal so now we are starting over. I will retest cortisol levels in November to see if the Signifor is doing anything aside from making me nauseous.

I have also spoken with the radiology oncology department at U of I. They have reviewed my case and I am awaiting word on whether they would recommend a single dose (gamma knife) radiation or a five-week treatment. Either way I would continue on the Signifor because the radiation results can take up to a year to show.

There you have it. The last nine months in 1500 words ish. Some have babies in 9 months. Not I, I have a series of unfortunate events.

*I named Timone’s sequel Marty for a few reasons. Marty is the zebra in Madagascar. Zebras are the animal mascot for Cushing’s because doctors have this awesome mantra that is drilled into them when they are in medical school, “If you hear hoof beats, think horses.” Well Cushing’s is one of the most misdiagnosed illnesses because our symptoms may be hoof beats but zebras have hooves too. Sorry for the tangent but it is important to the Marty explanation. In Madagascar 3, Marty has a moment that mimics the overactive distractedness that a Cushie brain knows so well. He sings and dances for his new circus friends. “Afro circus, afro circus, polka-dot, polka-dot, afro!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZYFqle7GvA (the submitted video is unavailable)

Radiation Oncology- Dr Smith

I got a call back from Dr. Smith today. University of Iowa is a teaching hospital. As such, they have interdisciplinary case meetings on Tuesdays to discuss the more complicated patients coming through the U. It is a very “5 heads are better than one” approach which I appreciate. In my case, they discussed radiation vs Trans sphenoidal adenectomy. Radiology put the case up and although it is a viable option neurosurgery believes there is a better chance for better quality of life with their option. Each specialty believes strongly in their course of action. Of course, it is all up to me.

The risk of gamma knife radiation would be hypopituitarism (disorder in which your pituitary gland fails to produce one or more of its hormones) Ironically the symptoms of hypopituitarism are like what I am already experiencing with Cushing’s. I could end up on replacement therapies for the rest of my life.

The drawbacks of the surgery are the surgery itself is traumatic, the recovery is difficult, and the failure rate is high. My first surgery left me bedridden for a couple of months. I could not afford to take that much time off again. At this point taking a day off impacts but a month…impossible.

I am torn but I did agree to meet with the neurosurgeon before going ahead with the radiation treatment. I am still processing. Neither is a very high success rate and both have negatives. The drug therapy I am on is a temporary situation. The longest it has been reported to work is 5 years. Cushing’s has a high mortality rate with no intervention. I am only 36 and have an 11-year-old son. Five years is not enough.

What do you do when all options available are just buying time?

Neurosurgery- Dr Greenlee

Today I had my neurosurgery appointment. The surgeon came in, looked at my scans and reviewed my history. This is the same doctor who had been so sure surgery would be better than radiation. He told me this time the tumor is wrapped around my carotid artery. He told me there would only be a 60% “cure rate” by going through that horrendous surgery again. Along with a higher fail rate, it would also be much higher risk of complications or death due to the position of the tumor. Looks like radiation is in my future.

I do have a follow up appointment with my endocrinologist, Dr Ogrin coming up. We will be checking my cortisol (24-hour urine Yay!) to see if the Signifor injections are having any effect. We shall see.

Testing testing…1 2 3

Every Cushie knows the frustration of testing. Cushing’s is one of those really hard to prove diseases. Our hormone levels are tested at every junction of diagnosis and treatment. Cortisol is the main hormone tested for. Cushing’s can affect several chemicals but cortisol is the steroid that causes the most damage. There are several ways cortisol is tested. Saliva- you suck on a cotton swab in between 11pm and midnight and send it off to the lab. Blood- soooo many blood tests, AM cortisol, PM cortisol, and dex suppression. And of course, the pee- most often 24 hour urine.

Every result comes with mixes emotions. When testing for a diagnosis, if you get abnormal results you are happy that you are not crazy, there really is something wrong. So many people are told there is nothing wrong with them for so long, they start to actually feel crazy. When you are testing during treatment and get a bad result, then comes the fear. What next? What does this mean for my treatment options? Am I out of options? This fear is only slightly amplified by the anxiety that comes along as a wonderful side effect of the disease itself.

Results time:

Cortisol, Urine Free – per 24 h Result

175.5 Normal Range

<=45.0 Measure

ug/d

Last week I did a 24-hour urine test. This is seriously collecting every drip for 24 hours, the results of which I got today. Considering the recent consulting appointments, I’m once again not sure which direction to go. The test show my cortisol is still high, not as high as it had been in the past. My last 24 hour was May 10th and 263.4 ug/d. At that rate 175.5 looks pretty good. The question now would be can my body take those levels long enough for the radiation to take effect? Is the immediate result of the surgery worth the 60% success rate if it can’t?

More questions than answers when test results arrive. This makes me long for the days of pass/fail pregnancy tests. At least then there was a definite answer and knowledge of options to follow.

Radio Roller Coaster

“The question now would be can my body take those levels long enough for the radiation to take effect? Is the immediate result of the surgery worth the 60% success rate if it can’t?”

These were the questions I had after receiving my last test results. My 24-hour urine cortisol had still been high. I had a follow up with Dr. Ogrin (endo). She was quite encouraged. My results were still above normal range but were much lower than my pre-medicated levels and my blood cortisol and ACTH were back down to normal range. This meant I got to stay on the Signifor and radiation was still a go.

FF to yesterday. I went to meet with Dr. Smith’s office for my pre-radio-surgery patient education and MRI. We went through the procedure and the nurse stepped out to grab whoever was taking me down to MRI. No one came back…we waited for just over an hour. I have never waited at this office before so I knew it was not good. Finally Dr. Smith comes in. I actually hadn’t expected to see him yesterday so my suspicions were confirmed. He sat down and told me my weight disqualified me from the gamma knife radiation. My options now are the full 6-week course of radiation or the trans sphenoidal adenectomy. The same surgery that I was told there was only a 60% change of success. To me, this is just not a viable option.

Every time I think there is a plan, it gets squashed. Have you gotten whiplash from my roller coaster yet? This disease got so far gone that I am too fat to be treated. I would not wish Cushing’s on my worst enemy. This thing might just kill me. All of my systems are stressed from the extra weight. My blood pressure cannot be regulated. Signifor has made me officially diabetic. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

Reverse: Part way through this post Dr. Smith called. After discussing my case with his colleagues, he was reminded they were upgrading one of the radio surgery stations and it would no longer have the weight restrictions. I’ll have to wait till mid-December but Gamma Knife is still a possibility. This is truly good news because the success rate with radio surgery is so much higher than standard ration treatment.

Every disappointment is just a moment in time. You stay because you get the counter moment eventually. BUT if my life were a movie, I wouldn’t watch it, I’m just sayin…

Signifor

Signifor is the supposed miracle treatment for pituitary Cushing’s, the only drug officially approved to treat the disease. When my first surgery failed, I was not really wanting to get right into another one, Dr. Ogrin did some research and jumped on this as an option for me. My endo is not a Cushing’s specialist but she is very enthusiastic and willing to put in the work so her excitement was infectious (haha). There were a couple of hurdles to overcome before actually starting treatment. The medication is a twice daily injection. The cost is approximately 12,000 per month. In order to get the insurance company to cover it we had to do many preliminary tests and baselines for future tracking. There were the normal cortisol level tests (blood, urine, and saliva), EEG, and ultrasound of my gallbladder as Signifor often caused gallstones. During the ultrasound, it was found that I already had about a dozen gallstones. The stones were not irritated but since they were only going to get worse it was decided to remove the gallbladder proactively. OK, so about two months later we were ready to go.

I started the injections knowing that the major side effect would be the increase of blood sugar generally causing diabetes so when my blood sugar went up it wasn’t a surprise. As big as I am, I had never actually crossed the line to diabetic before. We started Metformin which made me sick as a dog. I still stayed on it for almost 2 months. It kept my blood sugar in normal range but I basically lived in the bathroom. YUCK! Now we are trying a Glipizide. It has been ok but I take it with food and my spikes are post injection so my sugars never stay level. The other side effects nausea and hair loss, I can live with I guess. Not a fan of seeing my own scalp but due to overheating I can’t do hats.

Also, the insurance will only pay for the drug 3 months at a time and then require proof it is working before they will agree to the next 3. I was really nervous because I really didn’t know if it was working. Some of my initial symptoms were easing up but nothing was cured and I was still gaining weight. Time for test again. Blood, urine, and saliva all told the same tale. My cortisol was lower than initial levels. It had been cut in half but was still well above “normal” range. I just got word that it was enough for insurance to approve to continue treatment. Woo HOO!

This is not a long term solution. It’s a treatment not a cure. It only works as long as I am able to get the injections and the side effects are hard on the body. About 20 minutes after every shot I get waves of nausea. No way around that one. I am now diabetic which may or may not go away. The expense is also not realistic long term. I currently have Medicaid but if I ever had to pay $12,000 a month myself it just wouldn’t happen. I am only 36 so we are talking just under $150,000 every year for a long time still and that is just the injections. My other maintenance meds (blood pressure, depression, anxiety) are a whole separate thing. When my cortisol does get to normal we may be able to ween off some of them, thank god.

So, for long term I still have to do either the trans-nasal or radio surgery to get rid of the hormone producing tumor. I’m pretty set on radio surgery. I spoke to Dr. Smith’s office today and they say the 14th or 21st. I’ll hear soon for a set date.

So, with all of the above you may be asking why bother with Signifor at all. I must admit I ask myself the same thing sometimes but then I consider what has improved since starting.

• My mental clarity has improved. I was getting increasingly foggy.

• I am on NO pain meds. The muscle pain just for pain sake is gone.

• I am stronger. I no longer feel as if I cannot get out of bed or off the couch. I may not have lost any weight but I can carry it around now.

• My ‘sweats’ are getting fewer and farther between. Before I would break into a drenching sweat regularly for no reason at all. It’s now down to only about once a day unless I’m at a store or get to cleaning my house and overexert.

• I can sleep through the night.

• I no longer am constantly fatigued.

• I have hope that one day I could be normal again.

These are the things I must remind myself of when I have a rough day. The kind of sick I am now is much better that my previous disheartening misery. 🙂 So I’ll continue until a cure or insurance stops paying.

Feb 2016 I had the gamma knife radiation…bunches of fun. No changes…

…except it is now January 2017. My symptoms are returning, levels back up, whatever Signifor was doing, it doesn’t seem to be any longer.

My doctor who was so excited for challenge in the beginning is starting to throw around gastric bypass, Korlym, and BLA, There is no end to the bullshit.

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Fiona, Pituitary Bio

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golden-oldie

 

Originally posted Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Well, I was first diagnosed in 1990 after a year of tests and years of symptoms which I put down to my age (early 20s!!). I had a TSA to remove the pituitary tumour and was put on replacement therapy with steroids.

I lost LOADS of weight and felt better within days of the op. I felt I carried on improving for about 4 or 5 years post-surgery then felt ‘normal’.

But about 3 or 4 years ago now I started getting symptoms again. I didn’t know it then, but looking back now I know I did. I had cut down my steroids a little but my consultant’s team didn’t think it was anything important. I cut down again 2 years ago and again they didn’t think it mattered. At Christmas I cut down to 5mg of hydrocortisone a day in the morning. My GP wrote to my consultant to say I thought I wasn’t getting enough steroid and they were going to admit me for a day curve, but the paperwork never got done.

I chased this all up 2 weeks ago and have now been off all steroids for 2 weeks, have had a short synacthen with levels of steroid showing prior to the synacthen, 3 24 hour cortisols results awaited and a midnight Dexamethasone suppression results awaited.

It seems that my Cushing’s has recurred after 18 years.

Update June 3, 2009

3 June 2009 – I have now had short Synacthen. My basal cortisol was in excess of 700 and after the synacthen went to over 1000. I have also had 3 high 24 hour urinary cortisols and an overnight dexamethasone suppression which didn’t suppress and I had a level of in excess of 600. I have been booked for a MRI which I have been told will be in 4-6 weeks. I will also be called for 5 days of dexamethasone suppression at some point. I am getting depressed because all the symptoms I had first time round are coming back.

I can’t walk more than a couple of 100 yards without being out of breath and aching, I can’t climb stairs without a handrail, etc, etc, etc,…… It looks like my Cushings has come back but I so wish they would get on and sort it.

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TONIGHT! Interview with Fabiana

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interview

Fabiana will be our guest in an interview on BlogTalk Radio  Wednesday, October 21 at 6:00 PM eastern.  The Call-In number for questions or comments is (657) 383-0416.

The archived interview will be available after 7:00 PM Eastern through iTunes Podcasts (Cushie Chats) or BlogTalkRadio.  While you’re waiting, there are currently 88 other past interviews to listen to!

~~~

Fabiana had transsphenoidal surgery (pituitary) July 30th 2004.  She had a recurrence after seven years of being Cushing’s free.  A second pituitary surgery on 10/26/2011 was unsuccessful.

Another Golden Oldie, this bio was last updated 9/12/2015

Well it has taken me a year to write this bio…and just to give some hope to those of you just going thru this process…I have to say that after surgery I have not felt better! I am back to who i always knew I was….the depression and anxiety is gone and I am living life like a 24 year old should!

I guess it all started when i was sixteen (hindsight is 20-20 i guess). My periods stopped i was tired all the time and the depression started. We all kind of just chalked it up to being sixteen. But my mom insisted something was not right. we talked with my gyno…who said nothing was wrong, I had a fungus on my head (my hair was getting really thin) and sometimes girls who had normal periods (in my case three years of normal periods) just go awry.

My mom wasnt hearing that and demanded a script for an endo. I went….he did blood work…and metioned cushings. But nothing came back definitive…so they put me on birthcontol and gave me some hormones and the chushings was never mentioned again because that all seemed to work.

As time went on my depression got worse, the shape of my body started to change-my face and stomach was the most noticeable- and my energy level kept going down. I kept going back to the doctors asking to be tested for mono..or something. I went to a psycologist….but i knew there was no reason for my depression. Two of them told me “i had very good insight” and that I didnt need them. I started getting more anxiety..especially about going out socially.

High school ended and my typical optimistic personality started to decline. I put on a good act to my friends but my family was seeing me break down all the time. I went away for college (all the while gaining weight). My sophmore year I had a break down..I called my family crying that i needed help. I couldnt beat my depression. I didnt drink in college because i knew that would mean instant weight gain, i barely went out…i exercised everyday..hard….i joined weight watchers…i stuck with it. I was at 103 lbs….that crept up to 110…that crept up to 117…each time my weight goal would be “ohh if i could just get back to 108..112…115” with each weight gain my original weight goal would get higher and higher.

Internally i felt like I was constantly under a black cloud..i knew there was no reason why i shoudl feel this way..i was doing great in school, i had a supportive family, an amazing boyfriend and great friends…why was i depressed? I was becoming emotionally draining to the people closest to me…I would go home a lot on the weekends…i was diagnosed with PMDS….like severe PMS..and was given an antidepresant…i hated it it made me feel like a zombie…i stopped taking it and just made it apoint to work on fighting the depression….and the weight gain.

When i was done college i was about 120 lbs. My face was getting rounder and rounder..i was noticing more hair on my face and arms…and a hump between my shoulder blades and the bottom of my neck. My mom saw a tv show about Polycystic ovarian syndrome and felt that maybe that was what was going on with me…i went to my PCP with this and she said it was possible and that i should to talk to my gyno….I am 4’8 and at the time weighing close to 125..i talked to my gyno and she said I was not heavy..that i was just “itailan” ..i told her my periods were getting abnormal again even w/the birthcontrol and that i was so tired all the time and my arms and legs ached. I also told her that i was bruising very easily…and that the weight gain would not stop despite my exercising and following the atikins diet very strickly for over 6 weeks. My boyfriend and I decided to try the diet together..he lost 35 llbs in 6 weeks..i lost NOTHING! I went back to my PCP who ordered an ultra sound of my ovaries…..NOTHING.(i kept thinking i was going crazy and that it was all in my head)….she also decided to do some blood work…and as i was walking out the door she said..”you know what..i am going to give you this 24hr urine test too. Just so that we cover everything”. I just kept thinking please let something come back ….please dont let this be all my fault…please dont let this be all in my head…..please dont let me be crazy. When i got the test results back it turned out that the 24hr urine test was the one test i needed to get on the right track to finding what was wrong. My cortisol level was 3x’s the normal.

I went to an endo…by the time i got to the endocronoligist i was up to 130…i could not work a full day without needing a full day of sleep and my body was aching beyond description. I was crying all the time…in my room…and was becoming more and more of a recluse…i would only hang out with my boyfriend in our houses. I looked my symptoms up on the internet and saw cushings…that was it! I went to the endo and told him..i think it is cushings….he said he had only saw it one other time and that he wanted to do more tests. I got CAT scans, x-rays, MRI’s….my adrenals my pituitary my lungs….he did a CRH stimulation test which was getting blood work done every fifteen minutes for 90minutes….it took weeks to get that test scheduled..no one had ever heard of it and therefore did not know how to do it…..finally after 3 months of tests my dr. felt he had enough evidence to diagnos me with cushings disease (tumor on my pituitary) I was diagnosed in March of 2004. By this time i was about 137 lbs i had to work part time (i am an occupational therapist for children..i do home visits….i could not make it thru a whole day)

In April i had to change to office work…i could not lift the children and i could barely get up off the floor. I have to say i was one of the lucky people who worked for people who were very supportive and accomidating…my boss was very willing to work with me and willing to hold my job for me.

July 30th 2004 i finally had transphenodial surgery to remove my tumor (they went thru my lip and nose because they felt my nose was too small). It is now over 1 year later….i am down to 108 lbs, i have so much energy…no depression….and i dont mind looking at myself in the mirror…i am enjoying my friends and my boyfriend…(who stayed with me thru it all) And my family. I feel healthy mentally, emptionally, and physically. And i just got back into my size 2 jeans!!!

It was a crappy time…(as i am sure you all can atest to) but i learned a lot…..most importantly i was bombarded by good wishes and prayers….friends requested masses for me…a nun in brazil prayed for me…people who i never thought i touched their lives…took the time to wish me well…send an email..or call….I got to experience the wonderful loving nature of human beings and i was lucky to be supported by my family (my mom, dad, and two younger brothers) and my boyfriend throughout this entire tough journey.

This experience taught me to realize the strength i have as well as to appreciate the good and the bad in life. I was on hydrocortizone for about 8 months…i was lucky that my tumor was in its own little sack so my pituitary gland was not touched. In the end in took about 7 years to diagnose me..i think that if the dr. at 16 would have pursued the cushings idea nothing would have been found because it took so long for my symptoms to really peak…needless to say i love my PCP and my endo ..and that i changed gyno’s…

I just want to let anyone out there going thru this disease to know..you are not alone….and to take each day is stride…when you need help ask for it….and that this road can lead to a happy ending. God Bless!

ps- it is ok to feel bad about what you are going thru…it is a tough thing to endure…and when the docotors tell you there is noting wrong…..follow your gut…and you keep searching for the doctor that will listen… If there is anyone in the philadelphis of south jersey area who needs someone to talk to please feel free to email me…fapadula@hotmail.com…i will help you out the best i can!

Update November 6, 2011

Well- here is an update, after seven years of being Cushings free it has returned.

With in those seven years I married my college boyfriend and we now have a son- Nicholas who will be 2 in Decemeber. It has been a blessed and wonderful seven years. However right around when my son was turning 1 I started to notice symptoms again. Increase facial hair, the whole “roundness” of my body, buffalo hump. I decided I was going to work out hard, eat right, and see – I didnt just want to jump to any conclusions. I stuck to it- and nothing…..my hair started thinning again and the acne was coming back and then the missed periods…..so I went to my PCP- told them i needed the 24hr urine and wouldnt you know…..427 cortisol level (on that 0-50 scale)……here we go again.

So back to endo- now at Penn Pituitary Center…..it was another journey b/c the tumor wasnt definative on MRI, and it seems to be cycling…..but I was diagnosed with Cushings again- with the option of 2nd pit surgery or BLA…….after some months of trying to make a decision I went with the 50/50 chance of the second pituitary surgery on 10/26/2011.

It didnt work- my levels never came down in the hospital and I went home w/ out of range cortisol levels and no need for medication……BLURG……Sooooo on to the next step…..after I recover from this surgery I will most likely have the BLA- with the hopes of not having to deal with Cushings ever again. This time around has been a little more difficult just with being a mom and feeling sick- but I still continue to be amazingly blessed with a supportive family and husband and we are surrounded by love and support and for that I am beyond greatful.

I keep all of you in my prayers for relief and health- as I ( we all) know this no easy journey.

Many Blessings!

Fabiana

Update September 12, 2015

So to bring this up to date. My second pituitary surgery in 2011 was unsuccessful. January of 2012 I had both of my adrenal glands removed. Going to adrenal insufficiency was a very difficult transition for me. It took me nearly 2 years before I felt functional. As time went on I felt more human, but I haven’t felt healthy since that day. I can and do function, but at a lower expectation of what I used to be capable of….my “new normal”.

My husband and I decided to try for a second child…my pituitary was damaged from the second surgery and we needed fertility…after 8 months of fertility I got pregnant and we had our second son January of 2015.

In April of 2015 we discovered that my ACTH was increasing exponentially. MRI revealed a macroadenoma invading my cavernous sinus. The tumor is sitting on my carotid artery and milimeterrs away from my optic chasim. I was not a candidate for another surgery due to the tumors proximity to.both of those vital structures.

So September 1st of this year I started daily radiation treatments. I spent my 34th birthday getting my brain zapped. I am receiving proton beam therapy at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. I am so lucky to live so close to an institute that has some of the rarest treatment options.

Again Cushing’s is disrupting our life, my husband goes with me every night to radiation while family takes turns watching the kids….I am now on my 18th year of fighting this disease. I never imagined it would get to this point.

But here we all are making the best of each day, fighting each day and trying to keep things as “normal” as possible. Blessings to all of you fighting this disease…my new go to saying is” ‘effing Cushing’s”! For you newbies…Fight, Advocate for yourselves, and find a doc who doesn’t dismiss you and hang on to them for dear life.

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In Memory: Bonny Hamm, October 12, 2009

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in-memory

 

I did not know Bonny personally but she was an Australian  member of the Cushing’s Help message boards who rarely posted.  Her In Memory page on the boards is here: http://cushings.invisionzone.com/index.php?/topic/43923-rip-bonny/

She was only 45 at the time of her death October 12, 2009.  I’ve known far too many Cushies who have died far too young from this disease.

Bonnie’s Avatar

Bonny wrote July 1, 2009

I was sick with ALL the symptoms (about 30-40) for 5 years. Finally got correctly diagonosed and had my left Adrenal Gland and its tumour removed in June 2007. The recovery was long and hellish. The worst symptom after the operation was 3 months of constant itching literally from my scalp to my heels and every inch of skin in between. I also had pain in every single joint of my body, along with all the pre op symptoms that took a long long time to improve.

Now two and a half years on, I have a second tumour… on the same side! No idea how that can be seeing as the gland is gone. My Endo is overseas so until he comes back I don’t know much, but they are running more tests and I am waiting for a surgery date to go through it all over again!

All the symptoms are horrible, but last time I particularly hated the fractures (still have a few of those),as they made life so difficutlt and painful, but also relly hated losing half my hair, and the weight gain and moon face. Feeling awful is terrible, but when you add the things that make you look horrible too, its pretty hard to take.

As a single parent, (divorced), life is very hard with Cushings as you don’t have anyone else to do the things for you that you cant do yourself, or help you with your own personal stuff.

Before and after Cushings

Before and after Cushing’s pictures.

Rest in peace, Bonny!

Beth said it best on Facebook

(I) lost a very strong, courageous friend to the very disease she suffers from.. your pain is gone now, Bonny.. Rest well and thank you for touching my life. ♥

In Memory: Barbara “Cookie” Rothenberg, Oct 11, 2003

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Saturday, Oct 11, 2003

The One and Only Cookie, photo taken by Erin
Columbus CUSH meeting, Saturday, October 26, 2002

From the posts on the message boards:

My heartfelt prayers and sympathy goes out to Cookie’s family, I never really had gotten to know Cookie Like many of you, but during a few chats, I saw how she helped many, answering questions, ect… and always willing to help out. My heart is sad to hear of her passing.


What I learned from Cookie was that she loved people and wanted to make a difference in the lives of those who suffer from Cushing’s. She touched many hearts, I know she touched mine….


Cookie was an inspiration to many of us. She gave her all for Cushing’s awareness, and I will always remember that the last time I saw her, she was singing…
Shalom, my friend.


Rest in peace, Dear Cookie. I know that right now you’re organizing angels into working teams who will get heaven straightened out, with fun and laughter all the way. I guess G-d needs you now more than we do.

We’ll miss you so much, Sweetie.


I was lucky to have gotten to meet Cookie. She is such a fun person and she could always cheer you up.


Cookie, gees, what can you say. She was dynamic, committed, determined, exasperating, poetic, driven, electric, comedic, funny, supportive, strong, loving, loved, and not to repeat, but a driving force in creating CUSH and helping those who needed it. She was wonderful with fundraising. She was involved in so many activies that were for the benefit of others. She has dealt with many challenges in her life and continued to passed the point that many could not.

She will be sorely missed by all who knew and knew of her.


She was just an incredible, delightful person. I really think this world is a little dimmer today without her light from within. I know a lot of us are missing her already. I remember talking to her about the upcoming conference and her enthuisiasm was contagious. I’m just so very, very sorry to hear she’s passed. I hope her next life is one without pain, where she can sing and write poems to her heart’s content. Cooke will be sorely missed.


My family and I met Cookie at the UVA Cushings Conference Fall 2002. She was so helpful and caring. She told my father, sister, and I her “Cushings Story.” She was so, well, there is no better word to describe her, “bubbly.” She was so happy to be there, teaching, learning, and helping with CUSH. She left an impression on my family and I. She had such a great personality. She was one of the very first “Cushies” I met…and she made me re-think my attitude about being sick. She was going through so much, yet she had such a wonderful attitude towards it all. She was amazing!


Cookie touched a lot of lives. I remember back on the “old board”–before any of us had met any of the others in real life–I would get these perky, cheerful and witty emails from Cookie. She had a signature that was some kind of rhyme including “Lookie, lookie,…Cookie.” Her little dollop of cheer in my “inbox” always made me smile.

It is terrible to lose her. She has left such a legacy, though, that she will go on touching lives for many years to come.


I think this fits Cookie perfectly:

Some People …
Some people come into our lives and quickly go
Some people move our souls to dance
They awaken us to new understanding
With the passing whisper of their wisdom
Some people make the sky more beautiful
To gaze upon
They stay in our lives for a while
Leave footprints in our hearts …
And we are never the same

— Anonymous

~~~

Cookie shared this poem  to show how she felt…

It was an awful state that I was in
Hair was growing on my chin
My moods were swinging from low to high
All I did was cry “let me die!”

The hair kept growing down my neck, chest and bod
Would some dr not think this was a little odd
Sometimes I was up day after day
Then I’d want to sleep all the time to chase my troubles away

Rather I’d eat nothing, something, or very little at all
It seemed getting fatter and fatter was my call
I had every symptom of menopause
Too young they said, it’s in your head, there is no cause

I sing so when I said “I have another octave that is below”
They said pack your bags, to the loony bin you go
My periods were off the dr’s. were lazy
After running tests they said I was crazy

Nine years passed, symptoms got worse and I got fatter
My arms and legs were thin, please help me, what’s the matter
I was beginning to think maybe they are right
Maybe I am just a wee bit up tight

But my husband would say find another dr. it has to be
You are not the girl who married me.
Our children were afraid to them I was so mean
I’d see myself doing and yelling and to myself I would scream
“What is wrong with you! stop it” as if I was in a bad dream

Then I went to a dermatologist for a rash I had
He took a look and and asked “What else to you is bad”
I poured out my heart, I cried and I said
I can’t take any more, I wish I was dead

He asked who I had seen and I gave him the list
And I could see on his face, he really was pissed
He got me to the Cleveland Clinic and the best dr. there
Who listened to me, and checked out the arms, legs and hair

The mood swings, personality changes, the ups and the downs
Voice lower and periods, and face and body so round
One thing he did was run the same tests
Over and over as the results were not the best

Nothing was the same result and so he knew
Surgery was what they had to do
Something is very wrong in my body he said
Let us take a look now or you will be dead

We think you have Cushing’s Syndrome or Nelson’s Syndrome, too
But we will do our best to help you
Let us open you up and we will explore
Then we will know rather we do less or more

As it turned out the x-rays did not know
What they would see and how much would have to go
My female organs had tumors, fibroids and all
They called this syndrome Stein-Leventhal

A complete hysterectomy is what was done
How I had children not one of them knew, not one
Upon seeing that problem to the adrenals they flew
And things were so bad they removed two

The adrenals, 13 times their normal size and had twisted so
On the x-ray they looked fine, but they both had to go
After that they knew and to me they said
There is a pituitary tumor in your head

But until it grows there is nothing we will do
And 15 years later is when it grew
By then CAT scans and MRI’s were everywhere
So even I could see the tumor there

And no more cutting open the persons head
Up the nose they went instead
Well here we go again, lucky me
The tumor was wrapped around an artery

We can’t take it all out but we will do our best and try
If we sever the artery, you will die
5 years later I was back and then
They took the tumor out again

I opted for radiation to kill my friend in my head
I got tired of the Cleveland Clinic saving me a bed
I had other surgeries and emotional problems but day by day
I was going back to the female way

You see I was very slowly turning into a male but how
Will I be come a women now
The next 8 years were very bad
Almost worse than the first 9 years had

I lost some weight, most of the hair went away
With Nelson’s Syndrome some of the Cushing would stay
I woke up one day and the sun was shining
I was no longer bitching, no longer crying

I was almost me except for the pounds
And the thin arms and legs and the body so round
I was accepting me my life was changing
All I needed was a little more rearranging

I was out in public, I was acting and singing again
Working, volunteering, how did this happen, when!
I still get little bouts of depression but then
I know why, I’m not scared, I feel them coming and when

So hang in there and I promise you
You’ll be doing the things you used to do
Maybe a little slower, maybe not as long
Things will brighten up, I know I am not wrong

Keep on looking the right doctor is there
I know what you are going through, I really do care
I am here for anyone to help with what I can do
We all are rooting and praying for you.

 

1955 and 1962 [Photographer: Cookie’s family]

1980-81, 3 years old, 2000 [Photographer: Cookie’s family]

2000 and 1998 [Photographer: Cookie’s family]

 

From the message boards thread about Cookie:

When Sue left a message on my answering machine this afternoon (October 11, 2003), I knew that something was terribly wrong. It never occurred to me that it could Cookie, our Cookie. Always so positive, cheery, full of life. Even though she was as sick as she was, again, I really thought that she’d pull through, one more time. How could she not? She’d survived pituitary surgeries way back, adrenal surgery, Nelson’s, Cushing’s, more than any one person should have to endure.

Throughout her too-short life, she’s been far too sick, yet she’s carried it all off with grace and enthusiasm.

First diagnosed with PCOS, Cookie had an hysterectomy years ago. During the hysterectomy, they realized that her adrenal glands were greatly enlarged. Cookie had Cushing’s disease and in 1974, Cookie had her adrenal glands removed, in 1989 she had her first pituitary surgery and in 1994 her pituitary was removed completely. Then radiation. Since these are the major glands that run the body, she has been on major hormone replacement for a long, long time, pills and daily injections. Because she had both adrenals and pituitary gland removed, she was also saddled with Nelson’s syndrome…and more medications. Because of her Cushing’s experiences, she helped to found the international CUSH organization to promote awareness of Cushing’s disease/syndrome and served as it’s treasurer and fundraiser.

In November, 2002 she had surgery for E.Coli in her sinuses, of all places (she told the doctor that she wasn’t snorting hamburg!) and in December she had a pacemaker put in.

In Feb, 2003 Cookie suffered a Code Blue. Her heart stopped and she stopped breathing. There were 15 people working on her to bring her back. She couldn’t feel her feet, then her hands were cold, then every little thing imaginable was happening with her. Then cardiac care, a heart attack. Cookie went on permanent dialysis. Her hands suffered permanent damage, Raynaud’s Disease. Her fingers turned purple and she had to wear white gloves all the time. She was bleeding internally again and her platelets were down.

I talked to Cookie after this last assault on her body and she was as cheery as ever. She wasn’t really ready to go home, but she walked 60 feet at the nursing home in several tries and if she could walk a total of 60 feet then her insurance would pay any longer. Her dialysis times were terrible. Tu, Th and Sa 8-11 PM. But her main complaint was that she couldn’t go out of state to be at the birth of a new grandchild.

Then the recent surgery to install a dialysis shunt, infections, complications…

How much can one woman take? No wonder she was tired of it all 😦

No matter how sick she was, she was always ready with a joke, a little song. On the recorder where people leave messages for the toll-free number, Cookie left a message May 17, 2002. I’ve always left it in the answering machine, so I could get a lift by hearing Cookie sing one of her inimitable parodies. If you’d like to listen, you can hear Cookie singing and laughing, one more time [file is missing – I’ll try to find it again].

I just cannot believe this. I truly thought of Cookie as a wonder woman who could do it all, and she could pull through this, too.

I guess she got tired of dealing with illness after illness, medications, surgeries, injections, dialysis, everything. I know I get tired just thinking about dealing with any one of these. Cookie put up a very valiant front through everything. She did more to get the word out than almost anyone I know.

Rest in peace, Dear Cookie. I know that right now you’re organizing angels into working teams who will get heaven straightened out, with fun and laughter all the way. I guess G-d needs you now more than we do.

Many thanks to Erin for this last look…


We’ll miss you so much, Sweetie.

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