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In Memory of Kate Myers ~ June 23, 2014

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Kate (Fairley on the Cushing’s Help message boards)  was only 46 when she died on June 23, 2014.  Her board signature read:

After 2 failed pit surgeries and a CSF leak repair,
BLA on Sept. 11, 2008 w/Dr. Fraker at UPenn
Gamma knife radiation at UPenn Oct. 2009
Now disabled and homebound. No pit, no adrenals and radiation damage to my hypothalamus.
My cure is God’s will, and I still have hope and faith!

During her too-short life, she provided help and support to other Cushies.

Her National Geographic video in 2007

Her BlogTalkRadio Interview in 2008: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cushingshelp/2008/07/17/interview-with-kate-fairley

Articles to help others:

Kate’s Family Letter
Kate’s Packing Suggestions For Surgery
Kate’s Pituitary Surgery Observations

Kate’s bio from 2008:

Hi y’all! I will try to make this short, but there is a lot to say.

I stumbled across this board after a google search last night. Yesterday, I finally saw a real endocrinologist. I am 39 years old. I weigh 362. I was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist with PCOS at age 30, but all of my symptoms started at age 22.

At age 22, I was an avid runner, healthy at 140-145 pounds and 5’7″. I got a knee injury and stopped running right around the time that my periods just….stopped. And by stopped, I mean completely disappeared after mostly regular periods since age 12. I was tested by the student health clinic at UGA, and referred to an obgyn for lap exploration for endometriosis, which was ruled out. I remember that they ran some bloodwork and ultimately came back with this frustrating response: We don’t know what it is, but it’s probably stress-related because your cortisol is elevated.

Soon thereafter, I gained 80 pounds in about 6 months, and another 30 the next six months. Suddenly, in one year, I was 110 pounds heavier than my original weight of 140. I recall my mom and sister talking about how fast I was gaining weight. At the time, I blamed myself: I wasn’t eating right, I’d had to stop running due to the knee injury and my metabolism must have been “used” to the running; I was going through some family problems, so it must be that I’m eating for emotional reasons related to depression. You name the self-blame category, and I tried them all on for size.

Whatever the reason, I stopped avoiding mirrors and cameras. The person looking back at me was a stranger, and acquaintances had stopped recognizing me. A bank refused to cash my security deposit refund check from my landlord when I graduated because I no longer looked like my student ID or my driver’s license. I was pulled over for speeding while driving my dad’s Mercedes graduation weekend, and the cop who pulled me over almost arrested me for presenting a false ID. These are some really painful memories, and I wonder if anyone here can relate to the pain of losing your physical identity to the point that you are a stranger to yourself and others?

Speaking of size, from age 24 to 26 I remained around 250, had very irregular periods occuring only a few times a year (some induced), developed cystic acne in weird places, like my chest, shoulders, buttocks (yikes!), found dark, angry purple stretch marks across my abdomen (some of which I thought were so severe that my insides were going to come out through them) which I blamed on the weight gain, the appearance of a pronounced buffalo hump (which actually started at age 22 at the beginning of the weight gain), dark black hairs on my fair Scottish chin (and I’m talking I now have to shave twice daily), a slight darkening of the skin around my neck and a heavy darkening of the skin in my groin area, tiny skin tags on my neck. I was feeling truly lovely by graduation from law school and my wedding to my wonderful DH.

At age 26, I ballooned again, this time up to 280-300, where I stayed until age 32, when I went up to 326. The pretty girl who used to get cat calls when she ran was no more. She had been buried under a mountain of masculined flesh. I still had a pretty, albeit very round, face, though. And I consoled myself that I still have lovely long blonde hair — that is, until it started falling out, breaking off, feeling like straw.

At age 30, I read about PCOS on the internet and referred myself to a reproductive endocrinologist, who confirmed insulin resistance after a glucose tolerance test. I do not know what else he tested for — I believe my testosterone was high. He prescribed Metformin, but after not having great success on it after 5-6 months, I quit taking it, and seeing him. Dumb move.

Two years later, at age 32, I weighed 326. In desperation, I went on Phentermine for 3 months and lost 80 pounds the wrong way, basically starving. I was back down to 240-250, where I remained from age 33-35. After the weight loss, I got my period a few times, and started thinking about trying to have a baby. Many ultrasounds per month over a few months revealed that I just wasn’t ovulating. I decided to put off starting the family when the doctor started talking about IVF, etc. It just seemed risky to me — my body, after all, felt SICK all the time, and I couldn’t imagine carrying a baby and it winding up to be healthy.

At age 35, I ballooned again, this time significantly — from 240 to 320 in the space of 6 months. Another 45 pounds added by age 37, so that’s 125 pounds in two year. I’ve remained between 345-365 for the last two years, depending on how closely I was following my nutritionist’s recommended 1600 calorie per day diet….which was not all the time.

Which takes me to last year. I went for a physical because I wasn’t feeling well, kept getting sick, had a lot of fatigue, weird sweating where my hair would get totally drenched for no reason. At this point, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, hypothyroism (which has now been modified to Hashimoto’s thyroidis), high cholesterol (although this was present at age 30 when I got the PCOS diagnosis). I went back to my repro-endo, and resolved to make myself stay on Metformin this time. All last year was a series of monthly blood work and attempts to lose weight with an eye toward trying to get pregnant this year. By the end of the year, I was successful in taking off only 20 pounds, and my repro-endo (always with an eye toward fertility and not health), really pushed me to give up on losing weight at that moment and to start taking Clomid. Or else, he said. The words that broke my heart: this may be your last chance.

So, skip forward to January 2006. My ovaries are blown out and they are clear — no blockages. I get cleared to start fertility treatments. My husband undergoes his own embarrassing tests. I think we have an agenda here, but my mind was chewing on serious concerns that I was simply too unhealthy to be considering trying this. That, and I felt it would be a futile effort.

By the way, more than a year on the Metformin with no real changes to anything. Why doesn’t my body respond to it like other people with PCOS?

Then late March, I started experiencing extreme fatigue. And I’m not talking about the kind where you need to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon to gear up for the week ahead (which I’d always considered a nice indulgence, but not a necessity). I’m talking debilitating, life-altering fatigue. It didn’t start out right away to be debilitating — or maybe I just made the usual excuses as I always do relating to my health: I’m still getting over that flu/cold from last month. I just got a promotion at work (though I note a greatly reduced stress and caseload now that I am a managing attorney. My weight is causing it. Whatever.

I let it go on for a full two months before I started to really worry, or admit to myself that my quality life had taken a serious downward turn. You see, despite my weight and my scary appearance, I have always been the “director” type. By that I mean that last year, I worked with two other women to direct 100 volunteers to start a summer camp for inner city kids, and I had enough energy to run this ambitious new project and to film, produce and edit a 30 minute documentary on it by the end of the summer.

In contrast, I had to take a backseat this year. I basically sat in a chair and answered the questions of volunteers, made a few phone calls here and there, and was simply a “presence” in case something major went wrong. Such a major change from the year before, where I was running the whole show 14 hours a day and loving it.

But I am getting ahead of myself. (Is anyone still reading this? I must be narcissitic to think so….yet, I wonder if anyone else has gone through a similar progression….)

Back to May. After two months of this fatigue, I change to a new primary care physician and get a whole workup: blood, urine, thyroid ultrasound, cardiac stress test, liver ultrasound when my enzymes, which had been slightly elevated, were found to have doubled since January. Appointments with a gastroenterologist, and FINALLY….a REAL endocrinologist. Ruled out any serious liver problems (and my levels, surprisingly, dropped back to the slightly elevated level in a space of 3 weeks and no treatment).

Yesterday, I heard a word I’d only heard spoken once before in my life: Cushings. Way back when I was 22 and had started gaining weight so rapidly, I had a boyfriend who worked the graveyard shift at the local hospital. He spent the better part of a non-eventful week of nights pouring over medical books in the library. He excitedly showed me the pages he’d photocopied, which had sketches of a woman with a very rounded face (like mine), striae on her stomach (like mine), abdomenal obesity (like mine) and a pronounced buffalo hump. Although my former boyfriend was just a college student working his way through his music degree by earing some money moonlighting as a hospital security guard, he was the first one to note all of these tell-tale signs.

When I got my diagnosis of PCOS, I remember discounting his amateur diagnosis, and I never thought of it again.

Until yesterday, when my new endo asked me if anyone had ever tested my cortisol or if I’d ever done a 24 hour urine test. I said no, and he started writing out the referral form along with like 15-20 different blood tests. And although we’d started our appointment with him telling me he agreed with my repro-endo’s encouragement to go ahead and try to get pregnant if I can, by the end of the visit, he was telling me not everyone is meant to be a parent, there is always adoption, etc. The only thing that happened during the appointment was that I gave him my basic history of weight gain, described the fatigue, and let him examine my striae, buffalo hump and legs (which were hidden under a long straight skirt). The question about the urine screen and corisol came after this physical exam, during which he was taking lots of notes.

Then the word, which was not spoken directly to me but to his nurse practioner as I was making my two-week appointment in the reception area outside the examining room: “She looks classic Cushings. I’ll be interested to get those results.”

Cushings. Cushings. No– that’s not me. I’m not that weird-shaped, hairy, mannish-looking, round-faced, hump-backed creature my boyfriend had shown me a picture of 16 years earlier. I have PCOS, right? It’s just my fault. I don’t eat right. If I’d just eat better, I wouldn’t be 2.5 times my weight in college. Right?

I quickly came home and did an internet search. Within an hour, I was sitting in front of the computer, reading some bios here and BAWLING, just crying some body-wracking sobs as I looked at the pictures of the people on this board. Here, here (!!!!) is an entire community who has the same, wrenchingly painful picture-proven physical progression that I went through. The same symptoms and signs. Words of encouragement — of….hope. I didn’t feel scared to read about the possibility of a pituitary tumor — last year, I had a brain MRI of the optic nerve because of sudden vision irregularities, headaches and shooting eye pain. The MRI showed nothing, but then again, the image was not that great because I had to go into the lower-resolution open MRI due to my size.

I have no idea whether I have Cushing’s Syndrome or not, but these are my first steps in my journey of finding out. After living my entire adult life with an array of progressive, untreatable, brushed-off symptoms (and years of self-blame for depression, obesity, becoming so unattractive), there was a major “click” as I read this site, and a sense of relief that maybe, just maybe, what I have has a name, I’m not crazy/fat/ugly/lazy, the PCOS diagnosis, which has gotten me nowhere is incorrect, and I might have something TREATABLE.

So, without going so far as to say I hope for a diagnosis, I am hopeful for some definitive answers. If my urine tests are inconclusive (and my doctor only ordered one and no serum cortisol tests), I am going to fly out to L.A. and see Dr. Friedman for a full work up.

And, I’ll keep you posted.

Thank you for posting your stories, which have encouraged me to advocate for myself in a manner and direction, which this time, may be fruitful.

Be well, my new friends,
Kate

p.s. I will post some pictures this week after I scan some of the “after” one….I try to avoid the camera at all costs. I’m sure you understand just what I’m talking about, and for that, I am truly grateful.

 

In Memory of Diana Crosley ~ June 18, 2014

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Portland, OR, Cushing’s Conference, October 2003, Day 2, at a “House of Magic” dinner.

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Portland, OR, Cushing’s Conference, October 2003, Day 3. It was very windy on the Oregon Coast!

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Brighton, MI: Cushing’s Weekend, October 2005

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Columbus, OH Cushing’s meeting, 2007

Diana’s official obituary from Adams Funeral Home:

Diana Lynn Alexander Crosley, age 58, of Sidney, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, June 18, 2014, at 10:10 p.m. at her residence surrounded by her loving family.  She was born September 30, 1955, in Sidney, the daughter of Francis Alexander, and the late Laverne Egbert Alexander.

Diana is survived by her father and step-mother, Francis and Carole Alexander, of Sidney; daughters, Stacie Crosley, of Columbus, Casey Crosley, of Silver Spring, Maryland, Ericka Crosley, of Sidney; one granddaughter, Ella Laws, of Sidney; two sisters, Kathy and Randy Watercutter, of Minster, and Susan Alexander, of Mt. Vernon, Missouri.

Diana was a 1973 graduate of Anna High School. She was a registered nurse for many years. In her spare time she enjoyed meditating and doing yoga. She also enjoyed relaxing at the beach in Florida.

Her family, her children and especially her granddaughter, was the love of her life. She will be deeply missed by all.

The Crosley family would like to express their sincere thanks to Ms. Lisa Blagg and the entire staff of Wilson Hospice for the continued compassionate care of their mother during her extended illness.

Funeral services will be held on Saturday, June 21, 2014, at 3:00 p.m., at the Adams Funeral Home, 1401 Fair Road, Sidney.

Family and friends may call from 12-3 p.m. on Saturday, prior to services at the funeral home.

Memorial contributions may be made to Wilson Memorial Hospice in Diana’s memory.
Envelopes will be available at the funeral home.


Diana’s Cushing’s Help bio:

As with everyone who suffers from this disease, mine is a rather long story.

In retrospect, I believe I became symptomatic sometime around 1994. Particularly, I remember the weight gain and facial hair. I was also somewhat depressed, but at the time I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and had a lot of “on the job stress” in my position as a psychiatric nurse, working for an HMO. In addition, my grandmother was ill, I turned 40 and I attributed most of my problems to “life” In 1995, I accepted a job transfer from Dayton, Oh to Birmingham, Al. My grandmother had died and I needed to get away from the relationship. Unfortunately, the office in B-ham closed after approx 18months and I accepted a position as RN/Medical director at a residential facility for children with autism, seizure disorders and behavioral problems.

Meanwhile, I continued to gain weight, I began to notice some “swelling” on the back of my neck, I bruised very easily and had problems concentrating. I went on the Phen-fen diet and lost approx 40 lbs. Of course, now I’m wondering How did that happen? If the weight gain was Cushing related In June of 1998, I was thrown from a horse and fractured my pelvis in two places. Again unfortunately, the initial x-ray didn’t reveal any breaks, so I continued to work in extreme pain. My physician kept saying I was “just a slow healer”

At this point my blood pressure skyrocketed, the slightest scratch or bump would result in a major hematoma and skin tear. I had a cardiac work-up and was told I had ischemic tissue in my left ventricle and was sent to Houston for a cardiac cath.

Ok this part’s kind of funny, now of course at the time I couldn’t believe it. If anyone’s familiar with Houston, you know how terrible the traffic can be. I arrived for the cath, at 8am I was prancing like a wild animal in my room as I waited for the nurse to bring me my “sedative” At approx 11:00 she came in and began to take my vitals. Almost simultaneously, she was paged, returned to my room to tell me that the cardiologist had broken his tooth while eating a muffin for breakfast and all his procedures for the day were cancelled. I had to reschedule. Thankfully, when I did have the cath, he told my my heart” was beautiful” When I asked about the results that said I had dying tissue he replied “Oh, that must have been a blurp on the film”.

Moving on, even though my heart was fine, I had now regained all of the weight I had lost and was in constant pain. I then moved to Florida to stay with a friend’s mother, who had suffered a stroke. I began working per diem as a Home Health RN. I kept getting worse in all areas. I went to a doctor in Fl. who told me I was depressed and getting older, ergo all my problems. He told me that the buffalo hump was a fatty lipoma and referred me to a surgeon to have it removed. I went to a surgeon for a consult, was scheduled for surgery and my COBRA ran out on my insurance and I couldn’t afford to continue it.

I then went to a plastic surgeon, who confirmed it was a fatty lipoma, of course One of the biggest he had ever seen. He even photographed it to use for teaching seminars. And don’t you know, it grew right back. I spent 1700.00 (on credit) and it came back. At this point, I was having trouble standing, sitting, lying down. I was in constant pain and was having a lot of problems just trying to do my job. I went to another physician who thought I was depressed and maybe had leukemia because my lab work was all screwed up. Here again, the bad news was I was dying but it might take twenty years for the leukemia to kill me. At this point, I was ready to hang it all up.

Then, in Aug of 2001, I had just seen my last patient and was on my way to the office to complete the paperwork when a young man did a U-turn and t-boned me on the driver’s side. This just about put me over the edge, however, again, on the bright side, I went to a chiropractor, whom I had been seeing, and she ordered an MRI of my back. The MRI also, incidentally, revealed massive bilateral, adrenal hyperplasia.

I contacted the Nurse’s Endocrine Society. They sent info on Cushing’s. I could not believe the sketching of the women with Cushing’s it looked just like me. I also fit the symptom profile, almost completely. I was referred to an endocrinologist in Melbourne, FL. He did the 24-hour urines and dex test, confirmed the diagnosis, I was already convinced. He contacted the NIH as I didn’t have health insurance. I had a bilateral adrenalectomy (right side laproscopically and open left side as I began to bleed) Jan 17, 2002. I was discharged on Jan 26th.

I came to Ohio to stay with my daughters while I recovered, never thinking in my wildest imagination that that process would be so lengthy and utterly miserable. I hurt everywhere like I had never hurt before. I developed a serious sinus infection I went back to Florida in Feb. I stayed with friends. I applied for disability, I hoped for a worker’s comp settlement for my back injury. The insurance company who was handling my claim filed Chap 11 and all pay outs were suspended. They did pay for some physical therapy. There contention is that it was the Cushing’s that was my major problem and not related to the accident, however, duh! They’re right, but because I had the Cushing’s the injury I incurred in the accident was more severe than the average person would have sustained.

When I went to the NIH in Jan the chest X-ray revealed multiple healing rib fractures which were most likely a result of the accident. So, I’m still awaiting word on my disability, I was denied, appealed, denied again and am waiting for the hearing. In the meantime, my car was repossessed, I will most likely have to file bankruptcy and am now staying with my oldest daughter in Columbus.

I have lost approx 55lbs, my skin is healed, my buffalo hump and moon face are gone. I am still in quite a bit of pain in my joints, muscles and bones. I don’t have the energy I would like to have and I still have spacey moments. The mental part has been tough. A lot of days I really wanted to be dead. I was on morphine for my pain and I was so sick I would start vomiting and it would go on for 24-36-48 hrs. I finally quit taking the morphine and thank God, that has stopped. I am relying on my family and friends for everything and I’m used to being the giver, not the taker. I guess I’m learning to be humble and I am so much better, it’s just that I’ve just gotten access to the internet, and have been reading the chat board and message board and it seems that I am still a “slow healer”

It has been one year since that surgery and I guess my expectations were that if I kept trying to be patient, get through this year things would be back to a semblance of normalcy. OK I know I’m wordy.

Thanks for the support and I would welcome input from anyone.

Diana

Update January 28, 2011

It’s been awhile since I’ve been on the boards and I’ve tried to update my bio on occasion. However, due to my impaired technical abilities (lol) I was unable to figure out how to do so, even though Mary has made it SO easy. Again, lol

Anyway, the first five yrs post BLA were painful and traumatic but also a blessing. In 2005 I started taking yoga classes and that was the beginning of an amazing transformation for me. It led to meditation and an exploration of the spiritual meaning of this illness and of life in general. Of course the transformation wasn’t immediate and it is ongoing but I feel so blessed to be experiencing this life. I’ve learned to be grateful for the gifts of all of my experiences. Without Cushings, I never would have met some of the most caring and amazing people on this earth.

In July of 2008 I returned to Florida. I am now living in a little beach town, bought a bicycle and ride it almost every day. I still have pain, but it’s manageable and I focus on my breath and gratitudes as a way of managing it. I’ve learned the value of positive thoughts and intentions. I’ve learned that we are all more powerful than we may have ever imagined. I’ve met some amazing people here and continue to read and attent seminars and classes on exploring my purpose in this life and the gifts I have to give to the universe.

To all who are just beginning this Cushing’s journey, and for those experiencing the feeling of “no light at the end of the tunnel” -the light is there, just waiting for your arrival.

You can and will get through this, your life is not over.

Again, many thanks to Mary O who has given her gifts to help other souls navigate their way through a painful time

Much love to all
Diana

In Memory of Sarah Fraik ~ June 13, 2011

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Sarah recently had surgery to remove a tumor from her pituitary gland in the hopes of treating her Cushing’s Disease.  She died on June 13, 2011 after a brief illness at the age of 28.

More information will be provided when it becomes available.

~~~~~~~

Sarah F’s mom posted this: “we will be setting up an account at the royal bank tomorrow afternoon for sarah. we are planning on having a bench put in her name at transfer beach in ladysmith after we get her home. if you would like to help you can make a donation instead of sending flowers. we will post when we have everything set up. thank you everyone for your support and kind words for sarah…..”

Also from Sarah’s mom: “a account is set up for sarah fraik at any royal bank the number is 02000 5000823 any donation is welcome to help with bringing sarah home and getting a bench with her name put on it at transfer beach ladysmith thanks everyone.”

Beth Grant writes: “I already have asked her about how people from out of the country can donate and I’m still waiting to hear back. But my offer also stands to have people paypal me or send cheques and I can just go to the bank here and deposit it to the account. There’s an option to Send Money, so you just click on a few things and it gets sent. I’ve sent and received through paypal many times and never had trouble.”

Conversion from US to CAN: http://www.advfn.com/currency-converter/us-to-canadian-dollar.html

~~~

From the Acromegaly Community:

Taking a Lesson From a Tragic Loss

on Wednesday, June 15, 2011. Posted in Blog

Wayne Brown
AcromegalyCommunity.com

Last night I was at an open-air concert; and while waiting for the show to start, I was unexpectedly faced with mortality.  Everyone at the show was fine, but when I was reading social networking posts, I kept reading people’s messages of peaceful rest to a woman I didn’t know; but I could totally relate to her struggles with a rare disease.  Sarah, a young woman dealing with the effects of Cushings Syndrome, passed away from a head cold- a medical complication at the ripe old age of 28.  I didn’t need to know Sarah to know that this was just wrong!

Based on what I have read from many of Sarah’s friends, I got a brief snapshot of the situation.  Not only was she a very special woman that many people loved, her passing was made more tragic because maybe it was avoidable.  It seems that several people were concerned that the quality of her medical care was at least partly to blame for her early passing.  Now I did not know Sarah or her issues to agree or disagree, but it brings up a really important topic of discussion for the rest of us: what is a good relationship with your medical professional?  For those who are unfamiliar, Cushings Syndrome is a hormonal disease that impacts people who have a consistently high exposure to cortisol (a hormone released into the body as a response to stress).  I have had cause to learn a lot about Cushings because of the number of Acromegaly patients who have to juggle the effects of both diseases.

While I know this discussion can be uncomfortable, I would like for you to ask yourself honestly: DO YOU TRUST YOUR MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL?  Please understand the question I am asking is different than whether you like your doctor.  While it is nice if you like your doctor, it is not as critically important that you like your doctor, as it is that you trust him or her.  I promise you that I am not golfing buddies with any of my medical professionals; but… I am confident that they are providing me with the best possible medical care I could ask for, without my traveling to a dozen other cities.  Ultimately, this is an essential question you need to answer for yourself because your answer can directly impact the quality of your health care, and therefore the length and quality of your overall life.

Now does trusting your doctor mean they know everything there is to know about all things medical?  NO!  Just because you trust your doctor or nurse does not guarantee that they know everything about every disease you may ever have.  Willingness to learn accentuates, not lessens a doctor’s credentials as a diagnostician.  Many of us have had cause to teach our doctors something about our disease not covered in the textbooks yet.  When I was growing up, I knew a doctor’s wife who used to love to joke that ‘that’s why it’s called practicing medicine.  They have to keep trying till they get it right.’  It is impossible for any one medical professional to know everything about everything.  The question you need to answer for yourself is whether you trust them to listen to what you say and help you to make your life more pleasant, because of or in spite of your medical situation.

Sadly, for some of us, our medical issues are not a joke but a depressing reality- that we have to go years before we find the right medical professional who can both treat us medically AND handle our personalities in a way that will help us to trust our doctor/nurse/physician assistant.

Now, if it is true that the doc is merely practicing, why is our trusting them so essential to the relationship?  That is simple.  Honesty.  If you are anything like me, you would rather go to a medical office than a psychic for your medical care.  If you are withholding from your doctor, for any reason, you are detracting from your own medical care – and making it nearly impossible for your doctor to properly treat you!  I am not saying you should call your doctor’s office because you stubbed your toe getting into bed last night and your nail is bruised in the morning, but if you stubbed your toe last night and you were in so much pain that you woke up and took seventeen aspirin, this is an issue worthy of a chat.  Your medical professionals need to understand who you are, how you feel, what your pain threshold is, and how you manage your medical issues when he or she is not around (yes, this means your OTC treatments AND if some of your self-treatments do not necessarily come from recognized pharmacies- while this may be an awkward conversation and you may get scolded, such decisions by you can effect your treatment too!).  Medical professionals and their patients must know they can trust each other.

Ultimately, we are the patients- its kind of like being the customer at a store.  If you want to do hours of research before you buy the best can opener, or if you want to consistently look over your doctor’s shoulder, that is your right; but ultimately you need to have faith in the purchase you make at the store, just as you need to have faith in your doctor’s course of treatment.  If you do not feel comfortable enough doing that, then you have a decision to make: is your lack of trust in the doctor their fault, or is it yours (as the patient)?  Again, not an easy question to honestly answer, but essential in our long-term well-being!  If you have been withholding too much from the doctor, waiting for the doc to miraculously figure out what’s wrong seems both unlikely and unfair- and largely a mess of your own doing.  Going to another doctor is simply going to slow your treatment, and likely perpetuate the problem.  It is not the doctor’s fault that you are not honest with them about your issues.  Open up with your doctor and have a frank discussion- see where things go from there.  But if you are honest with your doctor, and you still feel like the doctor is either uninterested, unable or unwilling to figure out your issues, or is flat out too busy to give you the focus you require and deserve, well then you need to look at possibly seeking a new medical professional.

Just remember, starting with a new doc can be difficult.  If he or she is popular, you might wait at least a month or two just to get that first appointment where no treatment might legitimately get started. During this time that you wait, your issues are not being treated at all.  On top of that, you and your new doc both need to figure each other out, and again you need to try to build that trust and understanding with a new doctor and staff, working toward a momentum of medical stability.  All that being said, if you are not happy, and are ready for the switch, then go for it!  Remember, you are most responsible for your own medical care, since you are the person most greatly invested in your own well-being!  Don’t stay with a doctor simply because you are afraid to leave.  If you are ready to move on to a new doctor’s office, just make sure you are doing it for the best reasons.  Hopefully your new doctor’s office will offer you the ability to trust and be totally forthright.

I am just saying that if you are dealing with some sort of extraordinary medical condition, please invest your time to be totally honest with your physician(s).  Talk with him or her in a frank and honest way.  If your disease has major issues that are kind of sensitive to talk about, and you are afraid to talk face-to-face with your doctor but feel you can be more frank with the nurse or physician assistant, then do that!  If the issue is particularly awkward for you, then at the very least, keep a journal and share that with your doctor’s office.  At least the information is being conveyed.  While there are preferred methods of sharing, getting the information is more essential than the method of delivery.

I don’t know what the facts are that surround Sarah’s case, but it is a tragedy any time a 20-something person passes away.  Don’t let her passing be for nothing.  We can learn from her.  Take care of yourself medically, and work to foster a relationship of openness and trust with your medical professionals.  Without trusting our medical professionals, how can we expect them to treat us in a way to actually improve our health?  And at the end of the day, what is more important than our health?  Dare I say it… nothing.

In Memory of Thomas F. Zachman ~ June 3, 2010

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Thomas “Tommy” F. Zachman, of Windsor, formerly of Toledo, Ohio, died suddenly and unexpectedly at University Hospital in Denver on June 3, 2010, complications of Cushing’s Syndrome.

Tommy was born Sept. 3, 1950, in Toledo. He was a graduate of Rogers High School and the University of Toledo and the University of Toledo Law School. He practiced law in Ohio. Most of his career was spent with West Publishing in Cincinnati which enabled him to enjoy extensive travel throughout the United States. He left his position at the company when it was sold.

He was an animal lover and always enjoyed his family dogs. He also enjoyed cycling, music, college sports and reading. Tommy was always available to help others with their problems.

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In Memory of Sherry Carlson ~ May 30, 2020

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Sherry passed away the afternoon of May 20, 2020, naturally and peacefully in her sleep.

She loved her community and we know how grateful she was to every one of her friends on here for the genuine love and support she’s received over the years.

We (her family) are processing, but will share details about her celebration of life when we’ve worked it out.

Sherry’s Slideshow:

Cushing’s Help message board member sherryc presented this PowerPoint at Pioneer Pacific College. It took a lot of work with her failing memory but she did It! She wanted to get the word out about Cushing’s and her journey with this awful disease.

She says that it took a lot of work with her failing memory but she did It! She wanted to get the word out about Cushing’s and her journey with this awful disease.

Sherry’s bio:

I have been very ill for many years now, since 1999 that I know of. But it had always come and gone, until 2004 when it decided to stay. At first it was a mystery as to what was wrong. I was seeing a psychiatrist that felt very strong that what I was dealing with was endocrine related. He mentioned a few things that it could be and one was Cushing’s, so I looked it up on the internet and sure enough I had many of the symptoms of Cushing’s disease, moon face, buffalo hump, weight gain, big round belly, red face, very ruddy complexion, acne, nausea, depression, fatigue, hirsutism, depression, anxiety, hypertension, unusual bruising, and highs and lows of energy.

I found this support group on the internet at Cushings-help.com and they helped me find Dr.William Ludlam at OHSU. He told me I had a suddle case of Cushing’s and had a pituitary tumor on the right side displacing the pituitary to the left. Although Dr.Ludlam originally saw tumors on both sides, I had a pituitary tumor that seemed to be cyclic. When it turned on I had major Cortisol energy, when it turned off I got very achy, nausea, and very tired. In March of 2006 I was officially diagnosed after 1 long year of testing, and went on to have my first unsuccessful Transphenoidal pituitary surgery 3/23/2006 with Dr. Johnny Delashaw at OHSU. I had a second unsuccessful pituitary surgery 10/12/06 and finally a BLA 11/7/06.

I am now cured of Cushing’s disease 2 1/2 years out from my BLA and I am still very sick, I traded Cushing’s disease for Addison’s disease, and my body does not like it. Cushing’s did a lot more damage than ever thought; I have permanent nerve damage to my lower back, damage to soft tissues throughout my body, Diabetes, High lipids, Fatty liver, I have no usable veins, I have permanent port-a-cath in now so they can access my veins for blood draws and any IV stuff I may need in emergency’s. I had my period for 1 year straight so I had a full hysterectomy 8/20/08. I am permanently panhypopituitary now, no working hormones any more. I am on all replacement hormones, except DDAVP. I ended up with a new doctor that gave me a severe case of steroid induced Cushing’s. I am still dealing with this aftermath; the details are in my timeline. My timeline will update you as to where I am at now. I will try to keep the timeline updated so you know where I am at as far as getting better.

Please don’t let this scare you, most people are cured and go on to live lives as best they can, and a lot of people are doing very well. Towards the end of my Cushing’s I went full blown, Dr.Ludlam told me this was a progressive disease and in me this was the case.

So if you believe you have Cushing’s, get to a specialist that knows Cushing’s disease, don’t waste time on doctors that do not know the disease, it is so worth it in the end to get to the right doctor. This disease is one of the hardest endocrine diseases to diagnose. Cushings_help.com/ founder MaryO has been a lifesaver for me and still is, I have met people from all over the country, over the years I have made many friends that have, had or are still in the diagnostic phase.

I live in a small town of around 10,000 people and I hear all the time, oh I know so and so that had or has a pituitary tumor. What I am finding out is there are a lot of people in this town that have this disease, it is suppose to be rare, one in a million, my next goal is to get my story out and have local people contact me, then start a support group. Maybe get some accurate numbers of actual pituitary/brain tumors and find out why this is happening in this small town. It will be a big adventure but if it saved even one life it will be worth it. I know of 3 definite pituitary Cushing’s cases so far.

My Timeline of illness to diagnosis

3rd pregnancy 1994 pre-term labor again, stopped, gestational diabetes, son born 3 weeks early and I got toxemia after my son was born, was told this is very rare. I should have known RARE would be a word I would hear a lot in my future.

1995-Left breast discharge, surgical biopsy done, lump removal of marble size, this should have signaled a full hormonal work-up, but didn’t. No cancer.

1997-1999 Depression and severe anxiety with panic attacks…Diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. Weight 130#

1999- First occurrence of unknown mystery illness. Hypertension, fatigue, flushing, swelling of face, hives, and much more that lasted several months. Sick on and off with mystery illness. Tumor was turning on and off.

April 1999-2004-Severe nausea and vomiting, extreme fatigue, weight gain of 50# in about 1 years time, headaches, dizziness, hypertension, tachycardia, muscle and bone pain, malor rash, other rashes, IBS, occasional unexplained low grade fevers, anxiety and depression much worse, increased hirsutism, almost constant mouth sores, memory loss, cognitive difficulties, loss of coordination, syncope, excessive energy spurts, insomnia.

**Off work for 3 months April-June due to symptoms…Saw PCP, Gastroenterologist, Rheumatologist and Cardiologist… diagnosis Peptic ulcer/Chronis Gastritis and Chronic pain Syndrome and Tachycardia/Hypertension. Abdominal/Pelvic Cat scan done and fatty liver noted. High Cholesterol and Triglycerides discovered.

Nov-2004 My Psychiatrist was the first to mention Cushing’s or a Pheochromocytoma; he felt all my symptoms where due to endocrinology. He did not want to see me again until I was seen at OHSU. I have never seen him again due to insurance change. I really need to thank him.

Dec-2004 10# weight gain in 1 week with severe abdominal distention….another Cat scan done, lymph nodes around vena cava where enlarged.

Jan-2005 Went to OHSU for diagnosis….First saw an endocrinologist that was not experienced with Cushing’s, she ordered 1 UFC and 2 midnight saliva tests, and told me to test when I felt my worst; Tests where low so she felt my symptoms where not due to my endocrine system. Boy was she wrong. I needed to test when I felt good, or high.

Feb-2005 Went to the Pituitary Unit at OHSU and saw Dr.Ludlam, he believed that I had Cushing’s but we needed to prove it. MRI saw adenoma on right side displacing pituitary to the left. He originally thought he saw tumors on both sides, he was right. Lot’s of testing done. Testing did not prove it yet. Dr believes I am Cyclic. It took 1 year for diagnoses from Dr.Ludlam.

April-2005 Peripheral vision test done by local optometrist, showed some peripheral loss in left eye.

May 2005-Lot’s more Cushing’s testing, PICC line in all month. Major dizziness, passed out and fell this month. Diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes but cannot treat due to extreme highs and lows, trying to control glucose with diet. I have very high and low Cortisol days. I am very cyclic at this point.

June/July 2005-Three TIA like event’s… left sided weakness and numbness. Saw Neurologist that sent me to Neurologist at OHSU. Found three new white matter lesions seen on my brain MRI. Unknown cause. 5 in all now.

August 2005-Had to leave my beloved job teaching Medical Assistants due to symptoms. I had one more TIA like event.

Sep-2005 Neurologist at OHSU ran several tests and came to the conclusion that if in fact we could prove Cushing’s, all of my symptoms where due to this disease. I stopped all medications by choice.

Nov-2005 I went back for extensive testing at OHSU with Dr.Ludlam and sure enough the numbers started proving my case. Very high midnight serum Cortisol’s among other high tests.

Jan/Feb 2006-PICC line in and extensive Cushing’s testing done with CSS in Feb. CSS showed left sided gradient strongly. Cortisol numbers have proven my case, finally…. I had a midnight serum Cortisol of 34.1, the Midnight Salivaries, Midnight Serum Cortisol, UFC’s and CSS all positive for Cushing’s disease.

March 23, 2006 I finally had Pituitary surgery at OHSU, they found the tumor on the left side bigger than originally though and removed the whole left half of my Pituitary gland. I was in the hospital for 6-days due to complications of Diabetes Insipitus and Adrenal Insuffiency.

April-2006 Seen in the ER 3 times. Hospitalized for 4 days again due to complications, Blood cultures showed infection. I am on very high doses of Hydrocortisone and also taking DDAVP for the Diabetes Insipitus.

April 2006- I am finally getting better somewhat…..This has been one heck of a roller coaster ride. I am now on Hydrocortisone 40/40/30. I am told we won’t know if I am cured for 3-6 month’s.

June 5, 2006- Off Hydrocortisone stimulated my Cortisol to 24 on the ACTH stim test.

August, 2006- Not cured, testing again!!! I had that gut feeling when I woke from the first surgery. I just knew…

October 12, 2006- Second Pituitary surgery, more tumor on right side, most of my pituitary gland removed. Surgery unsuccessful, still have Cushing’s disease.

November 7, 2006- BLA …soon to be cured of Cushing’s.

Dec 2006/Jan 2007- Very sick due to another blood infection. Lot’s of adrenal crises due to infections. 3 blood infections to date.

November 2008- 2 years out from my BLA and I am still very sick, I traded Cushing’s disease for Addison’s disease, and my body does not like it. Towards the end of my Cushing’s I went full blown, Dr.Ludlam told me this was a progressive disease and in me this was the case. Cushing’s did a lot more damage than ever thought; I have permanent nerve damage to my lower back requiring permanent narcotic pain relief through a pain center, damage to soft tissues throughout my body, diabetes, high lipids, fatty liver (NASH), Osteopenia, I have no usable veins, they are destroyed due to the high Cortisol, I have permanent port-a-cath in now so they can access my veins for blood draws and any IV stuff I may need, I had my period for 1 year straight because of lack of appropriate hormones after my surgeries so I had a full hysterectomy 8/20/08. I am permanently panhypopituitary now, no working pituitary hormones any more at all. I must replace all pituitary hormones, except DDAVP. Please don’t let this scare you, most people are cured and go on to live lives as best they can, and a lot of people are doing very well.

June 21, 2009-Since writing in November I sat on the couch in severe AI until around September when I was put with a doctor that has been seeing Cushing’s patients for 38 years, he put me a on a very high dose of Dexamthasone and Florinef and forgot about me, he ended up with cancer and is no longer seeing patients. In the meantime, I got severe steroid induced Cushing’s and have had severe complications from it. I started falling from atrophied muscles and broke both hips, I ended up in a wheelchair, which I am happy to say I am out of now, had to have surgery on my left hip to pin it, it is still not healing, I am having absorption issues with calcium, iron, vitamins, minerals and meds. So I have to do my DEX by injections. We are now trying to find out why I am having absorption issues. I have a new endo at OHSU Dr.V and he is wonderful. He has brought my steroids down to a safe level and did it slow. He really seems to know his stuff as far as after care. I do not think he does the diagnosis process for Cushing’s. I would definitely go back to Dr.Ludlam if I had to go through it again. But I know there are many other great Cushing’s experts out there, this was just my experience. I know I will get better, but it may be a while. I am still at home handicapped, can barely go to the grocery store and I do not drive as I am on a high dose of Morphine. My goal is to get my pain under a 5 and be able to drive myself around. That is a good goal for now. Then on to finding out why my small town has so many tumors and starting a support group. I just need to get to a point where I feel I can be a good advocate for Cushing’s and right now I can’t. But that is the goal.

Nov 16, 2009

I am still not well, I have broken my ankle, have no idea how, woke up one morning and it was broken. I am almost down to my 1/2 mg of DEX and am happy about that. had 2 surgeries in Sep and Oct on both elbows for ulnar nerve decompression. The first surgery got infected and a week later I had sepsis, which they think I had a small bowel preferation that healed itself. I was ambulanced up to OHSU and was in AI. It was a very rare bowel bacteria running through my blood stream, I was very sick. I just want to get well, but for some reason I am going through one thing after another. I am praying that 2010 will be my year of healing and I will have a good quaility of life then.That is what I am counting on.

UPDATE January 23, 2016

2016: wow has the past few years have been a roller coaster. I don’t know dates because I’m having memory issues at 47 years old.

I have had 5 port-a-caths. I kept getting sepsis and every time they would take me to surgery and remove my port. Then place another when I was better. I have no veins that work. So I received IV port fluids 2-3x a week. I just recently had sepsis, when I get it I have a 50/50 % chance of survival. They removed my port and did not place another. So no more fluids which was for Pots. I had labs done through my port every 2 weeks. Now everything stopped. I am producing small amounts of cortisol. After a BLA.

Intermittently. I am just now starting to feel good for 2 weeks now. I have started the exercise program called T-Tapp. I love it. No jumping or hard moves. 15 min and that’s it. I am a grandma of 2 and one due any day.

So for now I hope I’m on the road to recovery at least the best I can.

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In Memory of Melinda Smith ~ May 9, 2014

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Sadly, we lost another Cushing’s patient on Friday, May 9, 2014.  Melinda was a member of the Cushing’s Help message boards since Jun 24,  2007.

She was only 25 and leaves behind a young son and many loving family members.

Just last year she posted:

I’m not really sure where to put this post so I’ll just put it here under miscellaneous.

Last Friday was probably the closest I’ve ever come to actually dying. Luckily, my dad came downstairs to check on me. At some point Friday I completely blacked out and my dad found me totally unresponsive, barely breathing with foam in my mouth. The paramedics told my dad that if he hadn’t found me when he did I would of definitely died.

Nobody knows what caused this to happen. The hospital is trying to say that I overdosed on drugs, which is TOTALLY 100% untrue. Especially, since I hadn’t even taken my medicine because I was staying up with my mom to help her clean and move my stuff upstairs from the basement. By the time the ambulance got me to the hospital I was still unresponsive and my kidneys had shut down.

I don’t remember anything from Friday or really much from Thursday night. All I remember is waking up in the ICU at the hospital in the middle of the night with some grumpy nurses who kept asking me why I tried to kill myself. I just don’t understand where they got the idea that I was trying to commit suicide, all of my medication was accounted for plus some.

Another thing, now I’m on oxygen 24/7. Since Friday I have a hard time breathing so the hospital sent me home with an oxygen tank. I feel so old. I’m only 24 and I don’t even smoke yet I’m stuck with an oxygen tank. Something just isn’t right.

We talked with my regular doctor and she thinks that I might of had a stroke or maybe a seizure. I go see her on Wednesday. But until then I can’t do anything and have to be supervised at all times.

It’s really strange, I’m being treated like a baby but I feel like I’m 80. I just want to be a normal 24 year old and feel like my age.

 

Information from the obituary at http://www.stephenson-wyman.com/obituaries/Melinda-Smith/#!/Obituary:

Melinda “Mindy” Smith, age 25, of Harrison, passed away suddenly on Friday, May 9, at her home. Mindy had attended Farwell High School where she had been an honor student and participated in track and cheerleading. She graduated from Clare High School in 2005. She was currently attending college and was hoping to pursue a career as a Psychiatrist. Mindy talked often of becoming a doctor to help others who were struggling with Cushing’s Disease.

Mindy had been battling a fight with Cushing’s Disease since 2005. She fought hard and long, but unfortunately it was a fight that she could not win. She was loved by many, but will be missed by many more.

Mindy is survived by her son, Landon Smith, parents, Deb (Marc) Davis, Fred (Nola) Riggs, of Harrison, and Ralph Rydman, her special friend, Ryan Smith, siblings, Alisha Green of Farwell, Marrissa Rydman of Gresham, Oregon, Misty Riggs of Weidman and Mike Riggs and Seth Riggs both of Florida, her grandparents, Gary (Penny) Smith of Clare, Sheryl (Phil) Wentworth of Harrison, Janet Riggs of Harrison, and Jay Davis of Clare. Also surviving are many aunts, uncles, and cousins that will miss her dearly. She was preceded in death by her grandparents, Dawn Wiggins of Muskegon, Harold Riggs of Harrison, and Carol Davis of Clare.

Funeral services will be held on Wednesday, May 14, at 2:00 PM at the Clare Chapel of Stephenson-Wyman Funeral Home with pastor John Kasper officiating. Friends may meet with her family at the funeral home on Wednesday from 11 AM until the time of services. Memorials may be directed to the family.

Rest in peace, Melinda

In Memory of Gregory J. Bart Jr. ~ May 7, 2016

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Greg died of a presumed heart attack at the age of 55.

September 19, 2015 he said “I was diagnosed hypertensive way back when I was 20. The condition remained for years, and became more acute with my cushings pit tumor. I still have high blood pressure, partially teated with three meds. I’ll have to consult my doc and see if this (Primary aldosteronism) may also be an issue.”


He wrote this about a year ago: On your daughter’s wedding day, you wouldn’t go down to the swap meet to pick out some second hand, ill-fitting dress, would you?

You would not.

If you were a baseball team manager getting ready for the World Series, you would not make a call down to your minor league affiliate and ask them to send up their 3rd best pitcher for the 7th game, would you?

You would not.

If you were being audited by the IRS, you would not go to the local high school and ask for assistance from the remedial accounting class, would you?

You would not.

And so, why would you not insist on, in fact demand, the very finest MRI equipment for your pit scan? A false negative is an invitation for massive bills down the road (for the blue pencil people in your insurance carrier’s claims dept.) and years of misery for you, the patient.

And you would not settle for a myopic tailor for that dress, would you?

You would not.

So, make sure your pit scan is done under the proper protocol, and looked at by an experienced hand. Without that, your time in the machine may be wasted.

You deserve the best. This disease will try to do it’s worst. Don’t let it, and don’t let your case be the one that falls in the cracks in the machine, or the system.


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In Memory of Patti ~ May 2, 2002

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in-memory

Thursday May 2, 2002

From the Message Boards: ” I loved her, she was a great friend. She died of adrenal cortical carcinoma.”

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In Memory of Kathryn McBride ‘Bridie’ Miller ~ May 1, 2007

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From the Message Boards at http://cushings.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=21816

“My name is Caroline and I dont post often but have met a few of you guys and read the board regularly, it has definitely been a godsend to cushies everywhere. The reason I am writing tonight is I have just received devastating information about a dear friend of mine, and a woman some of you may have met during testing. Her name is Kathryn Miller and she is a patient of Dr. Ludlam, that is how she and I met. She was diagnosed with cushings late last fall and had surgery in December and was doing pretty well afterwards.

Long story short, from the information I have received from her mother, She knew a man that she met off of a christian singles website.. I dont know many details about it, but I do know that he drove from his home in Pennsylvania to hers in Cleveland Ohio posing as a balloon delivery man, to then gun down her father killing him, and then to chase after her and gun her down in her neighbors front yard where she later died in surgery. This man then proceeded to commit suicide in his car when the police began to chase him.

Kathryn was an incredible person, and came from a loving, wonderful family. She was a fighter in every sense of the word, and never complained about the fact she was so sick. She always joked that she would one day ‘look hot’ in a bikini again. And she would always say there would be the day when we cushies would be happy and healthy again.

So heres to you Kathryn, I pray you are finally out of pain and that you are happy and cushings free in heaven. I will never forget you, you are in my heart forever. As much as it hurts to not have you here, I take comfort knowing you are smiling down from above. Fly on angel, fly on.”


Kathryn ‘Bridie’ and Albert Miller
Murdered May 1, 2007

~Ages 31 and 71, respectively ~Hometown: Mayfield Heights, OH

On May 1, 2007 Scott Esposito, 38, drove about six hours from his home in Macungie, PA to Mayfield Heights, OH. That’s where his love interest, Kathryn McBride ‘Bridie’ Miller, 31, lived. He showed up at her door with a dozen ‘I love you’ balloons. An attempt at reconciliation perhaps for, although Esposito’s family believed the two were still dating, those who knew Miller say that she broke off the relationship about six months earlier.

Miller lived with her parents. Her father, Albert Miller, 71, answered the door when Esposito arrived. The two exchanged words. Esposito subsequently shot Mr. Miller five times, killing him. Ms. Miller heard the commotion and tried to leave the house through the back door, Esposito shot her eight times as she fled. A neighbor called 911, but Ms. Miller was dead before help arrived. Esposito then tried to flee in his car. When cornered by police, he committed suicide with a gunshot to the head.

Police do not know exactly what caused Esposito’s rampage. He purchased a gun the day before the shooting. In his car he had over 500 rounds of ammunition. He did not have a suitcase or other personal belongings, suggesting that he planned to return home the same day or perhaps that he contemplated his suicide in advance. Police hope to access the couple’s email exchanges to learn more.

Esposito called Ms. Miller when he was en route to her house. She called her mother, who was not home, and told her Esposito was coming, but it does not appear she feared him. It seems, though, that she asked her father to turn Esposito away, resulting in the argument Mr. Miller and Esposito had at the door.

Ms. Miller met Esposito via an online dating site for Catholics. There are conflicting reports about how long ago they met. It may have been as long as two years ago. They saw each other infrequently – because they lived 400 miles apart – but emailed and talked via phone daily when they were together. A friend said Ms. Miller became concerned over Esposito’s ‘irrational’ behavior and ended the relationship in October 2006. One news story said the couple had a brief on and off relationship last fall and only limited contact since December.

Esposito had a bachelor’s degree in business administration and worked as an independent insurance broker. He lived with his parents and older sister, who had spina bifida, so he could help care for them. He had no criminal record. His family says the shooting was completely out of character for him.

Mr. Miller ran his own employee placement agency from his home. An employee of the business was in the home at the time of the shootings, but was unharmed.

Ms. Miller, who had cerebral palsy, held both a Master’s degree in education and a certificate in speech pathology. She worked previously as a teacher.


From: http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/
base/cuyahoga/1178181906224960.xml&coll=2

Shooter left behind 2 victims, questions
Man drove hours to ex-girlfriend’s house for ‘purpose,’ police say
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Damian G. Guevara
Plain Dealer Reporter

Mayfield Heights – Scott Esposito drove 400 miles from his Pennsylvania home Tuesday with balloons for his long-distance love interest. He also had a loaded gun.

Esposito ultimately gave Kathryn McBride Miller the bullets – at least eight hollow-point rounds to her head, torso and extremities. He also shot and killed her father, 71-year-old Albert Miller. As police closed in a short time later, Esposito put the black, .22-caliber Luger in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

With the shooter and his victims dead, police on Wednesday were trying to make sense of the rampage. Investigators met with relatives to learn more about the relationship between Miller, 31, and Esposito, 38, of Macungie, Pa., about 65 miles northwest of Philadelphia.

Esposito dated Miller sporadically last fall, but their contact had waned since December, Lt. Chris Sonnhalter said. Miller never reported any trouble between the two to authorities, and her family knew of Esposito, Sonnhalter said. It remained unclear how Miller and Esposito met, but the two never lived in the same area, Sonnhalter said. Police are looking at their e-mail exchanges for clues.

“Obviously, he had some bad intentions . . . whether to end his life or someone else’s,” Sonnhalter said.

Sometime before the killings, Miller learned Esposito was traveling across Pennsylvania to see her, Sonnhalter said. Early in the day Tuesday, she called her mother at work about the pending visit but did not express any alarm.

Kathryn Miller was a former teacher who had a license in speech pathology. She was a graduate of Xavier University and the University of Virginia, where she earned a master’s degree in education. She taught in Hudson schools for one year, in 2002-03.

Her father, Albert, ran an employee-placement business from his home, police and neighbors said.

Police found a work badge belonging to Esposito in his green Jeep Cherokee but learned little about the man Wednesday. He had no criminal record.

Neither the Miller family nor Esposito’s relatives could be reached for comment Wednesday.

Police believe the bespectacled Esposito wanted to maintain a romantic bond with Miller against her wishes and became angry when spurned.

“It was about the relationship,” Sonnhalter said. “I think he brought that gun to Cleveland for a purpose.”

Sonnhalter gave this account of the slayings:

Esposito, driving the Jeep Cherokee, arrived at the Millers’ Woodhawk Drive home in Mayfield Heights at 3:45 p.m. Clutching the balloon bouquet, Esposito knocked on the door.

Albert Miller answered. Nobody witnessed the confrontation, but police believe the men argued.

Esposito shot the elder Miller five times in the chest.

Kathryn Miller was watching television in the family room. She heard the commotion and tried to flee the house through a garage door.

Esposito fired at Miller as she ran into her front yard.

She collapsed near a neighbor’s door, leaving behind a trail of blood.

There was a third person at the Miller home: a woman who worked for Albert Miller was in a basement office and was unharmed.

Esposito got in the Jeep and sped away from the house. Woodhawk Drive is a dead-end street, so Esposito headed east toward SOM Center Road.

Three police cars blocked him in as he neared the intersection. As officers surrounded the vehicle, Esposito put his new gun in his mouth and fired.

One officer discharged a shot that struck Esposito in the right arm and shattered the passenger-side window of the vehicle.

Investigators found a box containing more than 500 rounds of ammunition in Esposito’s Jeep. He had purchased the Luger at a Pennsylvania store Monday evening for about $200.

Plain Dealer reporters Donna J. Miller and Ellen Jan Kleinerman and news researcher JoEllen Corrigan contributed to this story.

To reach this Plain Dealer reporter:
dguevara@plaind.com, 216-999-4334

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In Memory of Natalie Fay ~ April 21, 2008

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This is another Golden Oldie.  I’m not sure when it was last written or updated by Natalie but it was updated by me after she died April 21, 2008.

~~

Hi! My name is Natalie, I am 35 years old and I’ve been married for 15 years. I don’t have any children at this time, but we are in the process of adopting. We can hardly wait for our little one to show up on our doorstep. We live down in southern Maryland at this time. I grew up in southern Virginia on a farm. My Dad is still farming; he raises peanuts, corn and soybeans. He has had 2 battles with colon cancer and is still hanging in there. He gives me inspiration. I have my Mom and Grandmother still living home on the farm too and we get there as often as we can. My sister lives near by my parents and has 2 boys. They spend a portion of every summer with us.

There is so much to tell, I really don’t know where to start. I had my official diagnosis in Jan. of 1990. But after all of the information I have learned over the years, I fully believe that it could have started as early as childhood. We will never know for sure.

When I graduated from high school in 1983, I was a happy go lucky teenager with a steady boy friend and many friends. My first year of college was great. I had a lot of fun and thought I had made so many new friends. Joe (boyfriend then, now my husband) left for Marine Corps Boot Camp in the spring of 1984. That was hard but I adjusted fine and was glad to see him come home that summer. In the fall when it was time to go back to school I was a different person. I withdrew from my friends and I pretty much kept to myself. After a weekend visit from Joe, I slipped into a deep depression. I stopped going to class and to work. My so-called friends didn’t want anything to do with me. I started having headaches and dizzy spells. I was really scared. No one knew what I was feeling or would even try to understand. I ended up dropping out of school and went back home. I didn’t want a job; I just stayed home and did baby-sitting jobs. My nephew was born in August of 1985 and I took care of him full time until Joe and I was married in June of 1986.

On our wedding day I cried all through the picture taking. I was very happy but cried anyway. We went to the Blue Ridge Mountains for our honeymoon, I got stung by a bee, got a speeding ticket, and we had no air conditioning in our truck. It was truly one to remember. We came back and moved to North Carolina, where Joe was stationed at the time, and I cried for the next 2 weeks. I had never been that far away from home before.

As a child I had a bad case of asthma and now all of a sudden I’m having no problems. Little did I know that my body was treating itself with cortisol. In Jan. of 1987 I had a doctor’s appointment with my Allergist.

I was told then that I had High Blood pressure and to keep check on it. I was also beginning to be very emotional around this time. I would cry over nothing.

I started having migraine headaches while Joe was away on a deployment. My parents came and took me to the ER and because I had not been able to eat for 3 days and I was living in the dark because the sunlight was killing my head. Again I was told that it was High Blood pressure. Joe came home and left again in June for 6 months on the ship. I moved home and didn’t have any problems that summer. I moved back to Carolina in the fall so that I could get our house ready for Joe’s home coming. The real nerve racking part was that Joe’s ship was part of the mine sweeping going on in the Persian Gulf during 1987.

1988 was a pretty good year. Not too many problems except for headaches. But 1989 is a different story. I fell apart this year. In the spring I broke out in this strange rash that wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t find a doctor that could tell me what it was. Not long after that my periods stopped, we were really excited thinking that we were finally going to have a baby, WRONG! I went 3 months without a cycle; I still had the rash, headaches and high blood pressure. You would think that this would have alerted my OB GYN that something was wrong. Joe came home one day and found me doubled over and took me to the ER and we found out that I had kidney stones. Over all this time I am steady gaining weight. The stones passed and then tests were done and everything was fine there. Finally I decided to go to see Dermatology for the rash and was treated for severe acne. On my second visit with them the doctor took a look at my entire medical record and excused himself from the room. A few minutes later he returned with a doctor from Internal medicine, he took one look at me and said that I was the classic Cushing’s case. Then he went on to explain it to me. This was in Nov.1989. The tests began and I had a CT Scan done in Dec of that year that I didn’t get the results from until after Christmas. They showed a tumor on the pituitary and I was told to go to Portsmouth Naval Hospital right away. We took off and headed to Virginia not knowing what to expect. I was admitted the next day and had a week of peeing in a jug and lots of bloodwork. I was sent home with my surgery scheduled for Feb. 1990. Well, being the Navy, my surgeon was called away and my surgery was delayed until March.

I had transphenoidal surgery in March 1990 and they removed what they could but it had invaded the sinus cavity and they couldn’t get it all. I was sent home on hydrocortizone and had 2 episodes where my cortisol levels dropped too low and had to go the ER. Once I was weaned off I was okay and actually felt pretty good. I had monthly 24-hour urine tests run and they began to come back high again. I was put back in the hospital in Portsmouth and all the tests came back normal. I was sent home and a couple of months later they were high again. Again I went to the hospital and sent home normal. What’s going on here? The next time this happened I demanded that something be done. The head of the Endo dept. (I won’t mention any names, but Handiman knows him personally) tried to tell me that I was faking it so that my husband wouldn’t have to go the Desert Storm. I talked on of the interns to schedule me for an appt with the radiation oncologist and they determined that the tumor was still growing and that I needed to have radiation. Joe was scheduled to go to the desert but he was pulled from that duty and assigned to recruiter’s asst. and we moved to Virginia to my parent’s home for 60 days while I underwent 31 days of traditional radiation to the pituitary. I went back to Carolina feeling more at ease that something had been done. The rash went away but I continued to gain weight and still had Blood pressure problem, but was now being treated for it.

I was doing really well and Joe went away again for 6 months in Oct.1991. He was gone that Christmas, which was hard but I handled it ok. When he returned he had orders to go to Atlanta, GA. I was doing well and we packed up and went. I didn’t like the endo I saw there so I continued my 6-month check ups in Portsmouth when went home to visit.

In the summer of 1994, I started having problems with my left eye and thought it was allergies. I went to the eye doctor and after examining me he sent me to a Neuro Ophthalmologist who ordered a MRI and guess what The Tumor’s back! It was pressing on the optic nerve causing what they called a third nerve palsy. I was treated with medication until Jan 1995, hoping that the tumor would shrink but it got worse. I began to have double vision and my left eye closed completely. In the spring of 95 I again underwent Transphenoidal surgery at Emory University under  Dr. Oyesiku. He was great. I also had a great endo there, Dr. Lewis Blevins (he is at Vanderbilt in Tenn. Now). They still could not retract the entire tumor so I went back in August of that year and had Sterotactic Radiation Surgery. That was a one time radiation and it was a real experience. I had a metal Halo drilled into my head and I had CT scans and MRIs done with it one to determine the exact location of the tumor, then I was placed in a chair that spun in very slow circles while the radiation was being done. When I arrived back in my room they couldn’t find the key to take the halo off, so I had to wear it for another 2 hours until they found it.

It has now been almost 6 years since the last radiation and my current MRIs show some shrinkage of the tumor. I am currently battling high cortisol levels again but I think if we can find the right dosage of medicine it will level off. I am currently taking meds for: thyroid, high blood pressure, estrogen, diabetes, medication to control cortisol, allergy medication and every 3 months I take hormones to make me have a menstrual cycle. But over all I am doing OK.

My husband is out of the Marine Corps now and we live in Maryland. We are in the process of Adopting. We are really excited about this and can hardly wait to get our little one. My husband and Family have been so supportive of me through all of these years and I don’t know what I would have done without them and my close friends.

I feel like I have made many friends here also. This site has been a great help to me and I hope that my story can help someone else.

Take Care everyone!

Natalie

MaryO Note: Natalie had a BLA in March, 2008. She died April 21, 2008.
In Memoriam

Natalie Fay

Monday, April 21, 2008

2001 Cushing’s Lunch. From
left: Joe (Natalie’s husband), Natalie and Linda

Natalie Fay (Natalie65), died April 21, 2008. She was only 42 and had recently had a BLA. I first
met Natalie at a local lunch in November of 2001 and have seen her seval times
since then.

Natalie started the original “Dammit Dolls” that circulated
around the country until people refused to pass them along anymore.

Dammit Doll.

Natalie also made counted cross-stitch
Cushing’s Awareness Pins:

Natalie’s bio… http://www.cushings-help.com/natalies_story.htm

Some recent past
posts.

February 10, 2008

going to UVA I am going for my first visit with Dr. Hanks at
UVA on the 20th. I will also see Dr. Vance that day. I haven’t seen her before
either. I am planning on having bilateral adrenal surgery in March. I am a
little nervous about this, but it is going to be a positive thing I hope. I
would love to hear from anyone who has had this done so that I will have an idea
of what to expect. after surgery.

Thanks! Natalie

March 18, 2008

surgery update Hey everyone!

I’m back! It has been a
very slow week and I’m just satrting to feel like moving around again. I had BLA
on the 10th and came home on friday. My parents have taken my boys (3 & 6)
home to Va. I have missed them so much this week, but I think it was the right
thing to do. I don’t know how I would have done it without them. I am still very
sore and tired at times, but I’m coming along. Sorry this has taken so long to
get out to you guys, I thought things were taken care of but I was wrong. Oh
Well! I’m doing good and I’ll keep in touch. Thanks for all of your thoughts and
prayers.

Natalie

Message Board Signature:

pit surgery 1990
traditional 30 days
radiation 1990
pit surgery 1995
sterotactic radiation surgery 1995
2004
still have remaining tumor
cortisol levels still off balance
BLA March 10,
2008


Tributes and Memories on the message boards…


Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Linda, Jayne, me and Natalie – all in Cushe Colors [Photographer: Robin]

Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Jayne, Linda, Natalie, MaryO and Dianne [Photographer: Robin]

Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Jayne, Linda, Natalie, MaryO and Dianne [Photographer: TomO]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 all the families [Photographer: Robin]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO [Photographer: Robin]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO [Photographer: Robin]

Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO. LynneInVa made the roses for us from candles. [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Pat, MaryO, Ruth, Natalie, Susan, Jayne [Photographer: TomO]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Pat, MaryO, Ruth, Natalie, Susan, Jayne [Photographer: Robin]

Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Joe, Jed and Catherine [Photographer: Robin]

Our three families: Tom and MaryO, Natalie and Joe, Robin and Jayne…and kids [Photographer: a waitress]

Our three families: Tom and MaryO, Natalie and Joe, Robin and Jayne…and kids [Photographer: a waitress]

TomO being silly, stealing Catherine’s nose. [Photographer: Robin]


http://www.wrightfuneralhome.org/index.cfm

Natalie Grissom Fay
(June 11, 1965 – April 21, 2008)


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Courtland, Virginia– Natalie Grissom Fay, 42, passed away April 21, 2008 at St. Mary’s Hospital in Leonardtown, Md. She was born in Petersburg, Va, a daughter of Edward Scott and Nan Lucy Grissom and was a 1983 graduate of Southampton High School. Natalie actively supported several Cushing Support Groups, and was a member of the Patuxent Presbyterian Church. Surviving in addition to her parents is her husband, Joseph P. Fay; two sons, Joseph Edward (Jed) Fay and Nathan Lee Fay all of Hollywood, Md.; one sister, Annette G. Stephenson of Courtland, Va.; two nephews, Scott and Vance Stephenson; and her father-in-law, Edward K. Fay and wife, Sunee, of Deltona, Fl. The funeral will be conducted at 2 pm Friday at Wright Funeral Home with the Rev. Edmund Ellis officiating. Burial will follow in Riverside Cemetery. The family will receive friends from 7 to 9 pm Thursday at the home of Edward and Nan Grissom, 16046 Wakefield Road, Courtland, and suggest that in lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Cushings Help, c/o Mary O’Connor, 4094 Majestic Lane, #328, Fairfax, Va. 22033.

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