Home

In Memory of Bonny Hamm, October 12, 2009

Leave a comment

in-memory

 

I did not know Bonny personally but she was an Australian  member of the Cushing’s Help message boards who rarely posted.  Her In Memory page on the boards is here: http://cushings.invisionzone.com/index.php?/topic/43923-rip-bonny/

She was only 45 at the time of her death October 12, 2009.  I’ve known far too many Cushies who have died far too young from this disease.

Bonnie’s Avatar

Bonny wrote July 1, 2009

I was sick with ALL the symptoms (about 30-40) for 5 years. Finally got correctly diagonosed and had my left Adrenal Gland and its tumour removed in June 2007. The recovery was long and hellish. The worst symptom after the operation was 3 months of constant itching literally from my scalp to my heels and every inch of skin in between. I also had pain in every single joint of my body, along with all the pre op symptoms that took a long long time to improve.

Now two and a half years on, I have a second tumour… on the same side! No idea how that can be seeing as the gland is gone. My Endo is overseas so until he comes back I don’t know much, but they are running more tests and I am waiting for a surgery date to go through it all over again!

All the symptoms are horrible, but last time I particularly hated the fractures (still have a few of those),as they made life so difficutlt and painful, but also relly hated losing half my hair, and the weight gain and moon face. Feeling awful is terrible, but when you add the things that make you look horrible too, its pretty hard to take.

As a single parent, (divorced), life is very hard with Cushings as you don’t have anyone else to do the things for you that you cant do yourself, or help you with your own personal stuff.

Before and after Cushings

Before and after Cushing’s pictures.

Rest in peace, Bonny!

Beth said it best on Facebook

(I) lost a very strong, courageous friend to the very disease she suffers from.. your pain is gone now, Bonny.. Rest well and thank you for touching my life. ♥

In Memory of Barbara “Cookie” Rothenberg, Oct 11, 2003

Leave a comment

Saturday, Oct 11, 2003

The One and Only Cookie, photo taken by Erin
Columbus CUSH meeting, Saturday, October 26, 2002

From the posts on the message boards:

My heartfelt prayers and sympathy goes out to Cookie’s family, I never really had gotten to know Cookie Like many of you, but during a few chats, I saw how she helped many, answering questions, ect… and always willing to help out. My heart is sad to hear of her passing.


What I learned from Cookie was that she loved people and wanted to make a difference in the lives of those who suffer from Cushing’s. She touched many hearts, I know she touched mine….


Cookie was an inspiration to many of us. She gave her all for Cushing’s awareness, and I will always remember that the last time I saw her, she was singing…
Shalom, my friend.


Rest in peace, Dear Cookie. I know that right now you’re organizing angels into working teams who will get heaven straightened out, with fun and laughter all the way. I guess G-d needs you now more than we do.

We’ll miss you so much, Sweetie.


I was lucky to have gotten to meet Cookie. She is such a fun person and she could always cheer you up.


Cookie, gees, what can you say. She was dynamic, committed, determined, exasperating, poetic, driven, electric, comedic, funny, supportive, strong, loving, loved, and not to repeat, but a driving force in creating CUSH and helping those who needed it. She was wonderful with fundraising. She was involved in so many activies that were for the benefit of others. She has dealt with many challenges in her life and continued to passed the point that many could not.

She will be sorely missed by all who knew and knew of her.


She was just an incredible, delightful person. I really think this world is a little dimmer today without her light from within. I know a lot of us are missing her already. I remember talking to her about the upcoming conference and her enthuisiasm was contagious. I’m just so very, very sorry to hear she’s passed. I hope her next life is one without pain, where she can sing and write poems to her heart’s content. Cooke will be sorely missed.


My family and I met Cookie at the UVA Cushings Conference Fall 2002. She was so helpful and caring. She told my father, sister, and I her “Cushings Story.” She was so, well, there is no better word to describe her, “bubbly.” She was so happy to be there, teaching, learning, and helping with CUSH. She left an impression on my family and I. She had such a great personality. She was one of the very first “Cushies” I met…and she made me re-think my attitude about being sick. She was going through so much, yet she had such a wonderful attitude towards it all. She was amazing!


Cookie touched a lot of lives. I remember back on the “old board”–before any of us had met any of the others in real life–I would get these perky, cheerful and witty emails from Cookie. She had a signature that was some kind of rhyme including “Lookie, lookie,…Cookie.” Her little dollop of cheer in my “inbox” always made me smile.

It is terrible to lose her. She has left such a legacy, though, that she will go on touching lives for many years to come.


I think this fits Cookie perfectly:

Some People …
Some people come into our lives and quickly go
Some people move our souls to dance
They awaken us to new understanding
With the passing whisper of their wisdom
Some people make the sky more beautiful
To gaze upon
They stay in our lives for a while
Leave footprints in our hearts …
And we are never the same

— Anonymous

~~~

Cookie shared this poem  to show how she felt…

It was an awful state that I was in
Hair was growing on my chin
My moods were swinging from low to high
All I did was cry “let me die!”

The hair kept growing down my neck, chest and bod
Would some dr not think this was a little odd
Sometimes I was up day after day
Then I’d want to sleep all the time to chase my troubles away

Rather I’d eat nothing, something, or very little at all
It seemed getting fatter and fatter was my call
I had every symptom of menopause
Too young they said, it’s in your head, there is no cause

I sing so when I said “I have another octave that is below”
They said pack your bags, to the loony bin you go
My periods were off the dr’s. were lazy
After running tests they said I was crazy

Nine years passed, symptoms got worse and I got fatter
My arms and legs were thin, please help me, what’s the matter
I was beginning to think maybe they are right
Maybe I am just a wee bit up tight

But my husband would say find another dr. it has to be
You are not the girl who married me.
Our children were afraid to them I was so mean
I’d see myself doing and yelling and to myself I would scream
“What is wrong with you! stop it” as if I was in a bad dream

Then I went to a dermatologist for a rash I had
He took a look and and asked “What else to you is bad”
I poured out my heart, I cried and I said
I can’t take any more, I wish I was dead

He asked who I had seen and I gave him the list
And I could see on his face, he really was pissed
He got me to the Cleveland Clinic and the best dr. there
Who listened to me, and checked out the arms, legs and hair

The mood swings, personality changes, the ups and the downs
Voice lower and periods, and face and body so round
One thing he did was run the same tests
Over and over as the results were not the best

Nothing was the same result and so he knew
Surgery was what they had to do
Something is very wrong in my body he said
Let us take a look now or you will be dead

We think you have Cushing’s Syndrome or Nelson’s Syndrome, too
But we will do our best to help you
Let us open you up and we will explore
Then we will know rather we do less or more

As it turned out the x-rays did not know
What they would see and how much would have to go
My female organs had tumors, fibroids and all
They called this syndrome Stein-Leventhal

A complete hysterectomy is what was done
How I had children not one of them knew, not one
Upon seeing that problem to the adrenals they flew
And things were so bad they removed two

The adrenals, 13 times their normal size and had twisted so
On the x-ray they looked fine, but they both had to go
After that they knew and to me they said
There is a pituitary tumor in your head

But until it grows there is nothing we will do
And 15 years later is when it grew
By then CAT scans and MRI’s were everywhere
So even I could see the tumor there

And no more cutting open the persons head
Up the nose they went instead
Well here we go again, lucky me
The tumor was wrapped around an artery

We can’t take it all out but we will do our best and try
If we sever the artery, you will die
5 years later I was back and then
They took the tumor out again

I opted for radiation to kill my friend in my head
I got tired of the Cleveland Clinic saving me a bed
I had other surgeries and emotional problems but day by day
I was going back to the female way

You see I was very slowly turning into a male but how
Will I be come a women now
The next 8 years were very bad
Almost worse than the first 9 years had

I lost some weight, most of the hair went away
With Nelson’s Syndrome some of the Cushing would stay
I woke up one day and the sun was shining
I was no longer bitching, no longer crying

I was almost me except for the pounds
And the thin arms and legs and the body so round
I was accepting me my life was changing
All I needed was a little more rearranging

I was out in public, I was acting and singing again
Working, volunteering, how did this happen, when!
I still get little bouts of depression but then
I know why, I’m not scared, I feel them coming and when

So hang in there and I promise you
You’ll be doing the things you used to do
Maybe a little slower, maybe not as long
Things will brighten up, I know I am not wrong

Keep on looking the right doctor is there
I know what you are going through, I really do care
I am here for anyone to help with what I can do
We all are rooting and praying for you.

 

1955 and 1962 [Photographer: Cookie’s family]

1980-81, 3 years old, 2000 [Photographer: Cookie’s family]

2000 and 1998 [Photographer: Cookie’s family]

 

From the message boards thread about Cookie:

When Sue left a message on my answering machine this afternoon (October 11, 2003), I knew that something was terribly wrong. It never occurred to me that it could Cookie, our Cookie. Always so positive, cheery, full of life. Even though she was as sick as she was, again, I really thought that she’d pull through, one more time. How could she not? She’d survived pituitary surgeries way back, adrenal surgery, Nelson’s, Cushing’s, more than any one person should have to endure.

Throughout her too-short life, she’s been far too sick, yet she’s carried it all off with grace and enthusiasm.

First diagnosed with PCOS, Cookie had an hysterectomy years ago. During the hysterectomy, they realized that her adrenal glands were greatly enlarged. Cookie had Cushing’s disease and in 1974, Cookie had her adrenal glands removed, in 1989 she had her first pituitary surgery and in 1994 her pituitary was removed completely. Then radiation. Since these are the major glands that run the body, she has been on major hormone replacement for a long, long time, pills and daily injections. Because she had both adrenals and pituitary gland removed, she was also saddled with Nelson’s syndrome…and more medications. Because of her Cushing’s experiences, she helped to found the international CUSH organization to promote awareness of Cushing’s disease/syndrome and served as it’s treasurer and fundraiser.

In November, 2002 she had surgery for E.Coli in her sinuses, of all places (she told the doctor that she wasn’t snorting hamburg!) and in December she had a pacemaker put in.

In Feb, 2003 Cookie suffered a Code Blue. Her heart stopped and she stopped breathing. There were 15 people working on her to bring her back. She couldn’t feel her feet, then her hands were cold, then every little thing imaginable was happening with her. Then cardiac care, a heart attack. Cookie went on permanent dialysis. Her hands suffered permanent damage, Raynaud’s Disease. Her fingers turned purple and she had to wear white gloves all the time. She was bleeding internally again and her platelets were down.

I talked to Cookie after this last assault on her body and she was as cheery as ever. She wasn’t really ready to go home, but she walked 60 feet at the nursing home in several tries and if she could walk a total of 60 feet then her insurance would pay any longer. Her dialysis times were terrible. Tu, Th and Sa 8-11 PM. But her main complaint was that she couldn’t go out of state to be at the birth of a new grandchild.

Then the recent surgery to install a dialysis shunt, infections, complications…

How much can one woman take? No wonder she was tired of it all 😦

No matter how sick she was, she was always ready with a joke, a little song. On the recorder where people leave messages for the toll-free number, Cookie left a message May 17, 2002. I’ve always left it in the answering machine, so I could get a lift by hearing Cookie sing one of her inimitable parodies. If you’d like to listen, you can hear Cookie singing and laughing, one more time [file is missing – I’ll try to find it again].

I just cannot believe this. I truly thought of Cookie as a wonder woman who could do it all, and she could pull through this, too.

I guess she got tired of dealing with illness after illness, medications, surgeries, injections, dialysis, everything. I know I get tired just thinking about dealing with any one of these. Cookie put up a very valiant front through everything. She did more to get the word out than almost anyone I know.

Rest in peace, Dear Cookie. I know that right now you’re organizing angels into working teams who will get heaven straightened out, with fun and laughter all the way. I guess G-d needs you now more than we do.

Many thanks to Erin for this last look…


We’ll miss you so much, Sweetie.

Roberta “Bert” P, Undiagnosed Bio

Leave a comment

Hello Everyone,

Like all of you I am in pain, gaining weight, have moon face, etc. I have had Fibromyalgia for over 4 years and am lucky to have a very good doctor for that who is a specialist in his field-Dr. Pelegrino.

However for the last year or so I have had pain that is more than the tender points and general fatigue you get from Fibro. We started giving me cortisone shots every 5 weeks or so for the “bad” areas, but the “bad” areas are worse now and have enveloped my muscles to where I don’t know what to do. My fingers are aching just typing this. Does anyone else experience this? Do you use the thing that you can talk in and it types? I have so many questions but will have to ask more later.

My main question is about this horrible tightness and pain to turn my head-is this a symptom? I have had it for more than 2 weeks it is from the base of my skull to my shoulder blades. Any suggestions to help ease this would be welcome. I take Vicodin now but it is not affecting it and can’t take steroids because I am having the test next Monday to see how high the cortisol is. I had a saliva test and it was pretty high on that so now they are trying this.

I also have elevated blood sugar, lowered thyroid, higher blood pressure and the purple stretch marks on my stomach. My face has officially become “moon” so is this pain from the “hump” forming that I have read about? See how scatterbrained I am-my memory is totally gone-if you tell me something and I have not written it down it is forgotten, which is bad especially for my job.

Thank you in advance for your support and helpful advice.

Bert

HOME | Sitemap | Abbreviations | Adrenal Crisis! | Glossary | Forums | Bios | Add Your Bio | Add Your Doctor | MemberMap | CushieWiki

Barbara S (Babs1953), Adrenal Bio

Leave a comment

Was finally diagnosed in Feb of this year.

Had surgery mid March to take left adrenal.

Am still on 3mg prednisone daily. Lots of joint muscle aches, headaches, hair falling out, dry skin, split nails… sleeping a bit better but tired during day,can’t walk long or stand without feeling like I’ll hit the ground any minute.

Any weight lost right after surgery is back!

 

HOME | Sitemap | Abbreviations | Adrenal Crisis! | Glossary | Forums | Bios | Add Your Bio | Add Your Doctor | MemberMap | CushieWiki

Jennifer P’s Daughter, Undiagnosed Bio

Leave a comment

 

Mom to a beautiful 13 year old girl who has struggled with her weight for years.

After slowed growth doctor diagnosed her as growth hormone deficient and she has done injections for almost a year. She has grown some but still has truncal obesity and other symptoms that point to Cushing’s.

Her endo blows me off bc she doesn’t have the purple stretch marks but my fut tells me we are missing something.

HOME | Sitemap | Abbreviations | Adrenal Crisis! | Glossary | Forums | Bios | Add Your Bio | Add Your Doctor | MemberMap | CushieWiki

EvE7070, Pituitary Bio

1 Comment

Hi and good evening new here So im EvE7070 and oh my were do i start.

I was finally diagnosed with Cushing‘s 2015 To wich i had no clue what it was and how horrible it would change my life.

But lets start before when it first started I was a gym rat and eat very lil and would do fasting often and one day my menstrual cycle changed and I stop getting my periods and after that I gained about 60 pounds out of nowhere and I decided to see a doctor who told me that I had a hormone deficiency and they put me on something called glucophage which instead of making me lose weight made me gain another 30 lb within the few months of taking it and nobody knew what was wrong with me or how to treat me and I was very depressed for so long because every time I would see a doctor they would say you’re obese and you need to get on a diet and I would cry and tell them I don’t eat I exercise everyday and I don’t understand what is happening to my body i all of a sudden had every disease you could think of and know doctor could tell me what was wrong

i even got a allergies to peanuts which I had never had a problem with before crazy right

So finally after so many yrs i stated getting headaches to witch they said migraines and then my eyesight started to get affected and finally they said no maybe it’s just a sinus infection to where I had to have an X-ray done of my sinuses and that’s when they saw the tumor and my pituitary gland

So had surgery 2015 was on remission until the beginning of this year I started getting headaches again and my eyesight was starting to mess up and decided to go back to the endocrinologist and now they tell me that my cushing‘s is back and I’m hoping that my MRI comes out okay and I don’t have a tumor again but I don’t know what the odds of that happening again of another tumor this is the hardest thing that I’ve had to go through and I’m having a really hard time trying to adjust again to everything that’s going on with my body they say the second time around is worse than the first time and so far it’s true emotionally my depression is at its highest

I’m having problems with coordination brain fog concentration problems forgetting what i was taking about and im really scared I won’t be able to deal with it this time It took me so long to get back to wat ever normal is and now im back here again

HOME | Sitemap | Abbreviations | Adrenal Crisis! | Glossary | Forums | Bios | Add Your Bio | Add Your Doctor | MemberMap | CushieWiki

Kim H, Ectopic Bio

Leave a comment

 

I was diagnosed with Cushing’s in 1986. I had all the symptoms. Weight gain, purple stretch marks, severe acne, hair all over the face, balding on the head, muscle weakness, depression, no periods, moon face, etc.

I had all the blood, urine tests. Scans, x-rays and even petrosal sinus sampling. These were inconclusive as to the source. The MRI of the pituitary showed swelling and near to the optic nerve, so the next step was pituitary surgery which was done in August 1986. However the cortisol levels were still high. I still had Cushing’s. I was then given the choice of long term drug treatment while the source was located or to have an adrenalectomy. I was told that if I became pregnant on the drugs the pregnancy would not be able to continue because the effect of the drugs on a feotus wasn’t known. I felt that at the age of 24 I wanted my health back and the chance to have children if I was lucky enough. So in the October 1986 I had bilateral adrenalectomy through the back.

My Cushing’s was to all intents and purposes cured. Nearly 16 years later the ectopic source has never been found despite many more tests. It is still there because it still produces ACTH. The good side is now that I tan really easily which is amazing considering the British weather. I take hydrocortisone and fludrocortisone. I have never felt that I truly got my health back but am glad to still be here. I went on to have two lovely children, now aged 14 and 12. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis last year after years of back pain which is now being treated. I also had some problems last year and was diagnosed with angina and my steroids had to be increased due to a total lack of energy.

Up till now I have just about managed to hold down a full time job as a merchandiser for Hallmark Cards but have now taken the decision to go part-time which I am able to do with Hallmark. I have been married twice and am again a single parent. The men in my life could not cope with my health problems, so I figure I am better off with being on my own to bring up my kids. I think that’s about all. I would just like to say a huge thank-you to St. Bartolomews Hospital in London for all they have done for me over the years. Without their care and support I probably wouldn’t be here. p.s. I still suffer from depression but the old prozac sure helps.

Update: May, 2007

It is now 2007 and in 2006 they found my ectopic source in my appendix. It looked on the scan like it was in the central blood vessel but when they operated my appendix had flipped itself up and the tumour was sitting on the tip of it. After they tested it it was found to be a carcinoid tumour. Thankfully it was all taken away and the outcome was ok.

For the first time in over 20 years I can honestly say that i am much beter. for 20 years i felt ill and now i feel great. Obviously i still have bad days as I have no adrenal glands. But i will always be greatful for the immense help and support that i have received from professor Grossman and St. Bartholomews hospital in London.

HOME | Sitemap | Abbreviations | Adrenal Crisis! | Glossary | Forums | Bios | Add Your Bio | Add Your Doctor | MemberMap | CushieWiki

Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: