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In Memory: Jenni Moore ~ January 25, 2016

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A young woman struggling with ill health after developing a tumour died from an overdose after “illicit insulin” was brought into the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital last year, an inquest heard.

Jenni Moore passed away at the intensive therapy unit on January 25, more than two weeks after sustaining brain damage while an inpatient at the hospital.

The 26-year-old from Halesworth had been admitted in December with complications from two unsuccessful operations to remove a tumour of the pituitary gland.

A Type 2 diabetic since 2002, Miss Moore suffered from emotionally unstable personality disorder and an abusive relationship, before a diagnosis of Cushing’s disease as a result of the tumour.

Consultant physician at NNUH Dr Franscesca Swords said Miss Moore had been exhibiting “alarming symptoms”.

“Cushing’s can cause Type 2 diabetes and needs much higher levels of insulin for it to work,” she told Norfolk Coroner’s Court.

“She was having incredibly low sugars, which is consistent with too much insulin. We had been reducing her dose steadily.

“We were giving her a fraction of the insulin she had been taking but her blood sugar was still low. Eventually the realisation came to ward staff there was something else at play here.”

Staff then began to discover insulin pens hidden in her room. During an investigation Norfolk Police interviewed Miss Moore’s partner Derek Soanes, who admitted he had brought her insulin pens at her request. No further action was taken.

Sarah Kennard, a lead health officer with Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust, said in a statement that during a risk assessment in March 2014 Miss Moore said she “thought she was insulin resistant” as a result of her Cushing’s.

Assistant coroner for Norfolk Nicholas Holroyd recorded a narrative verdict.

“Jenni suffered significant and unhappy health conditions for a number of years,” he said. “Cushing’s exacerbates the diabetic condition to make the patient yet more vulnerable to sugar or hypoglycemia so higher doses of insulin are needed to correct the situation, which made her resistant in a sense.

“There has been evidence insulin was being brought to her in the hospital she should not have had. I do not believe she intended to take her own life. Nothing had occurred to drive her to an extreme act.”

After the inquest Miss Moore’s brother Joe said: “I loved my sister and so did the rest of my family, and we miss her every day.”

From http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/diabetic_died_after_overdose_from_illicit_insulin_brought_into_norfolk_and_norwich_university_hospital_1_4614300

MaryO: From 40 Days of Thankfulness

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From 40 Days of Thankfulness

 

I am thankful, believe it or not, that I had Cushing’s. Mind you, I wouldn’t want to have it now, although diagnoses and surgeries seem “easier” now.

 

Having Cushing’s taught me a lot, including how to stick up for myself, how to read medical books to learn more about my disease, how to do web design, how to navigate NIH. It taught me patience, how to make phone calls. It brought me a lot of new friends.

 

I am also thankful that people are becoming more empowered and participating in their own diagnoses, testing and treatment. Things have changed a lot since my surgery in 1987!

 

 

When I had my Cushing’s over 30 years ago, I never thought that I would meet another Cushing’s patient in real life or online. Back then, I’d never even been aware that there was anything like an “online”. I’m so glad that people struggling with Cushing’s today don’t have to suffer anymore thinking that they’re the only one who deals with this.

 

Because of my work on the websites – and, believe me it is a ton of work! – I have had the honor of meeting hundreds of other Cushies personally at local meetings, conferences, at NIH (the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, MD where I had my final diagnosis and surgery). It occurred to me once that this is probably more Cushies than most endocrinologists will ever see in their entire career. I’ve also talked to countless others on the phone. Amazing for a “rare” disease!

 

I don’t know what pushed me in 1983 when I first noticed I was sick, how I got the confidence and self-empowerment to challenge these doctors and their non-diagnoses over the years. I’m thankful that I didn’t suffer any longer than I did and I’m glad that I have a role in helping others to find the medical help that they need.

 

In Memory of Alice Baker ~ October 3, 2002

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in-memory

Thursday, October 3, 2002

Alice died of lung cancer and Cushing’s.

Judy wrote: “Monday I called to see how Alice Baker was doing and found out she had passed away Thursday. I had a long talk with Alice’s husband. He wanted me to tell everyone how much your cards and the flowers meant to Alice. He said “How wonderful, the flowers arrived from California, and Alice enjoyed them so much. She also enjoyed each card. ”

“Alice was a true fighter, she was more concerned about Cushing’s than she was the cancer. She was 69 years old.

“Mr. Baker asked me where he could send a thank you and I gave him CUSH address, as he also said their daughters wanted to thank everyone.

“Listen, these are sad times but really it is far better to know we are able to help someone. It is so much better for the person in need to be surrounded by love and prayers. I know she felt that. MaryO thanks again for sending those flowers and everyone for praying for Alice. I know she is looking down on us and pushing us on to do what we can to get the word out.”

Official obituary

Archived Interview: With Pat, Pituitary Patient

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golden-oldie

 

Wed, Jun 22, 2011 – 01:04AM

My show, “Interview with Pat Gurnick” on “CushingsHelp” is airing 06/23/2011 on BlogTalkRadio.

Next Interview, Thursday June 23 at 9:00 PM eastern with Pat Gurnick:

The Call-In number for questions or comments is (646) 200-0162.

Listen to Pat’s interview here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cushingshelp/2011/06/24/pat-gurnick-pituitary-patient

Join Pat on THURSDAY JUNE 23 AT 9PM EASTERN

My name is Pat Gurnick. I had a Pituitary Tumor (Cushing’s Disease) removed  (Macro 1.4 size) by Dr. Kelly at UCLA.

This has been a long journey for me. In 1990 I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS), Fibromyalgia, and Environmental Illness/Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. I was a Needs Assessment and Referral Counselor at Charter Hospital. I than went to work for Brotman Hospital as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor, with their day treatment program for Chronic Mentally Ill Substance Abusers, but by 1992 I was so ill I went on disability. I could not read or write for over a year, so sick. I started a support group, WEBSITE  and phone hotline in 1993, to give myself a reason to live. I had such cognition difficulties and fatigue, to name a few symptoms, that I don’t honestly know how I achieved this!

In 1994 I thought I was in remission, little more functional and decreased Fibromyalgia pain; yet, I also went through premature menopause at that time, age 35 (I am 45 now), which I now found out was the cause and beginning of a Pituitary Tumor/Cushing’s Disease! I was single and I had no children. My doctor figured this is when the tumor developed/high cortisol, to compensate for my crashed adrenals (HPA Dysfunction common to CFIDS Patients).

I tried so hard to lose the weight all those years, and the past few years people were always asking me when I was “due” for my stomach was so distended. In addition, I was anxious and depressed, experienced nausea most of the time, facial hair, moon face, hump/fat pads ,and many of the other Cushing’s effects. The Rheumatologist just attributed this all to getting older and osteoporosis (which I had a severe case by this time due to Cushing’s – little did I know!).

No one picked up on the Tumor situation until last October, 2003. I had other health problems, especially mold injury (from water damage in my home) and had to leave with basically the clothes on my back in August. My life was upside down. I was stressed and went to see a chiropractor to ease my tight neck. I knew something was wrong when the x-rays showed fat pads not bone as my old Rheumatologist had claimed.

By October 2003 a New doctor (been to so many through these years trying so many things to get well) wanted me to have an MRI done when I showed him my x-rays and told him of my concerns. I was not willing to give up and attribute it to old age! He stated he thought I had Cushing’s disease and wanted to test me. The tumor was clearly seen on the scans, and Cushing’s Disease confirmed. I had gained 40 pounds by this time, and looked totally different, as you can imagine.

After I was diagnosed, I went to many healers, tried holistic things, which didn’t heal me, but got me in good shape for surgery a year later. Thank God it was a slow growing tumor, because it was close to my eyes and sinuses, and waiting any longer would have been detrimental to my health. I had surgery performed December 17, 2003, at UCLA with Dr. Kelly. He has been very kind and patient with me while I tried alternative treatment, knowing surgery would be eminent.

As for my hospital experience, 2x’s I had adrenal insufficiency and was terrified. I had no idea what to expect, fainting on the floor, staff all around me when I woke up, going in and out of consciousness, frightened I would go to sleep and never wake up, wanting to throw up all the time, could not walk, dependent on oxygen mask (trouble breathing) and I.V., using a bed pan, and had a longer stay than anticipated. Plus, hurting from stitches on my stomach, and was told was used for fat during surgery; had cerebral brain fluid leakage and titanium mesh was placed in my head. Little did I know that was only the beginning. I did not understand the post-op situation (cortisol withdrawal symptoms, medication side effects, emergency bracelet, light headedness, to name a few).

So, I have been looking for answers and finally found you all! I am not alone! It is ONE DAY AT A TIME now, and I am looking forward to better days ahead.

Update: April 15, 2004

I am a wreck since surgery, going from depression to anxiety, hormones bouncing off the walls. hot flashes, cognition problems, incontinence (cortisol weakens muscles including the bladder), and sometimes crippled to the point I cant even stand to brush my teeth. I am struggling with continual weakness, edema, painful/swollen hands and body. Now, ailments are popping up as the high cortisol decreases in my body. I have a fatty liver and gallbladder disease (cortisol can do this), Rheumatoid Arthritis (Cortisol can do this break down the muscles and joints), heart irregularities, high cholesterol, to name a few. Cortisol can cause so much damage, and I feel like I am left in pieces all over the floor, running from doctor to doctor to patch me up. Having little energy but dragging myself all over town to find some relief; hoping for a solution.

I have only lost 5 pounds but my mustache is gone, which is good news. Plus, my osteoporosis has gotten better and is now osteopenia status; in such a short amount of time. Taking out that tumor saved my life!

Update: December, 2004

It has been a year since my pituitary surgery. I have lost almost 40 pounds. I think more clearly and feel more confident. Look like a real woman again! Sure, I still have my mood swings, cortisol still low (but off cortef now), have phsycial pain (decreased 60% due to Lexapro antidepressant), fatigue (limits me on some days), and need to monitor my stress level or my immune system goes down quick and I get sick. My body is not the same. I am way more sensitive. But, I changed my lifestyle to fit my needs. I moved from Los Angeles to Boulder, Colorado, for the slower pace and beautiful mountains. My adrenals are not strong, and I have to be careful to take it easy or I have symptoms of adrenal burnout. However, I am so glad to be alive, mentally functioning, and taking walks again in nature!

Dr. Kelly at UCLA was fantastic, and I will always be grateful for his excellent expertise in ridding me of the tumor. I have a new chance in life. I do look over my shoulder, ever reminded that it can come back, having tests every 6 months for years to come. But, I have learned from this experience that really life is to be lived one day at a time anyhow. Appreciate each day as it comes, living in the moment, making the best of the time I have.

I look at life and love differently now. I left a stuck relationship, moved to a place that will bring me more peace and joy, empowered myself, being my best friend, having more fun and laughter in my life. I plan on continuing with my goals, which were stopped by the tumor, doing what matters to me instead of being co-dependent. I am important. I deserve the best. I have been given a 2nd chance and I will take it for all it is worth!

Update: September 16, 2007

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of my experience with Cushing’s Disease. I remind myself that I don’t have the tumor anymore, than I look out at the sunshine lighting up day and take in a breath of fresh air, so grateful to be alive.

Yes, I catch myself from wandering back to the Cushing’s memories: when I felt like a Cherub, blown up and uncomfortable in my own skin, emotional, feeling like my blood was racing in my veins, breaking my toes, pimples like a teenager, and the dark mustache I knew everyone could see! I still look for those returning signs, relieved that they have not come back. I was told by my surgeon, Dr. Kelly, that the tumor would not return. When fear grabs me, during infrequent times of fatigue and a rush of anxiety, I reassure myself that these are only aftereffects not the tumor returning. I have my cortisol levels tested every year to confirm this fact, and my levels are normal. However, I went through ‘Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome’ from all the medical trauma I endured! It took 8 years for the doctors to finally diagnosis this disorder! You can imagine all the ailments they told me I had or that it was all in my head. I was running around to doctors begging for answers but feeling so discouraged, hopeless, and helpless. I tried many medications hoping for a solution, but none came. I did many holistic treatments, to no avail. Little did I know that I suffered from Cushing’s Disease/Pituitary Tumor!

One day I walked into a Rhumatologist’s office, Dr. David Hallegua, seeking help for my Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and the doctor exclaimed I also had Cushing’s Disease because of the obvious physical signs I exhibited. This is all a memory today. The once obvious ‘fat’ humps on my shoulders and neck are gone. I dropped most of the weight, my face structure is visible again, my hair healthy as is my skin, my moods finally balanced from the ‘bipolar’ roller coaster of emotions I previously tried to control – time healed this (I am not on any antidepressants), and my hormones are balanced without hormone replacement therapy. I know how lucky I am, believe me, I am thankful!

Yes, I have realized this illness has also given me an amazing gift, one of appreciation for every bird in the sky, every flower that bloomed, every whiff of baked bread, everyday I could walk by the Boulder Creek with vigor, and how I gradually was able to retain information to the point that I could multi-task again! Each little thing has been a blessing. I have much gratitude for being alive, remembering the days when I had Cushing’s but didn’t know it and negotiated with God dark agreements…looking back I am glad that I didn’t follow through. What lesson’s has this teacher left me with? I live in the moment now, present, not running to the past or the future, just appreciating today. Ah, I have today to live! I have come back into my body, proud of my curves, my soft skin, my long hair, my searching eyes, feeling the calm peacefulness that rests in my heart, and the relaxation in my body. It feels good to experience positive sensations, wanting to walk again around the block, to go shopping for clothes, taking a swim in the heat of the summer, all dressed up going to a dinner party with friends, taking meditation classes at the Boulder Shambhala Meditation Center. I have a social life again! For so many years I hid in my house, heavy, unhappy, and discouraged. I didn’t know I had an illness, and all I thought was, “who would want me like this?”. Yet, there was a sliver of hope, for I never stopped trying to figure out what was wrong, desperate to find a solution, knowing all along that I was NOT just fat and growing older, at the age of 35! My body was betraying me, that was clear. The lesson, to not give up, to have faith. My warrior came out in me. I became a stronger woman through all of this, and moved through the challenges that were dropped in front of me, bomb by bomb. I came through the surgery with flying colors, hard but I did it! Winning round one! Round two, dropping pound after pound of fat. Round three, learning how to walk and breathe easy again. Round four, winning the grand prize, learning how to relax, and to be happy that I am alive.

I was able to provide counseling services again , and opened my Psychotherapy practice in Boulder, Colorado, older and wiser. I specialize in helping those who are challenged by Chronic Illness, by phone, in person, or in the client’s home if they live in the Boulder area. I can always be reached at 303/413-8091 pat@caringcounselor.com

There is life after Cushing’s Disease!

Warmly
PAT GURNICK, CLC
Certified Lifestyle Counselor
Psychotherapist
www.caringcounselor.com

Glad to be alive!!! September 2007

Pat’s photos:

The only picture I have after Cushing’s,
a number of years ago,
gained 25 more pounds since then.
[Photographer: Pat’s family]

Picture of me and my sister at Thanksgiving – right before surgery. [Photographer: Pat’s family]

Picture of me at home, right after surgery, with my kitten sleeping on my stomach. [Photographer: Pat’s family]

Picture of me with my Cat JACK 4 months after surgery.
You can see my face has gotten thinner, but my body is still Cushy. [Photographer: Pat’s family]

April 2006 [Photographer: Pat’s family]


Glad to be alive!!! September 2007 [Photographer: Pat’s family]

Update January 25, 2016

In 2010,  I had a near death experience from dehydration and ended up in the ER with Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. See the video I created at that time:

 

I notified NADF (National Adrenal Diseases Foundation) that Cushing’s patients suffer and need to be recognized through their organization with this serious life threatening condition: Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. As a result, the Medical Director,
Dr. Margulies, MD, developed a brochure on Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency:
Stress dosing and recognizing Adrenal Crisis symptoms is most important. Today, I have a better understanding and can recognize the symptoms of dehydration, and I am more prepared to double my hydrocortisone medication under an emergency situation (often for me it is the flu) or stress.
Hear my CushingsHelp Radio Interview 2011:
After my surgery in 2003, I was able to provide counseling services again, and opened my Psychotherapy practice in Boulder, Colorado, older and wiser. I specialize in helping those who are challenged by Chronic Illness, by phone, Skype, in person, or in the client’s home if they live in the Boulder area. I can always be reached at 303/413-8091 or pat@caringcounselor.com
There is life after Cushing’s Disease!
Warmly
PAT GURNICK, CLC
Psychotherapist
Matrix Energetics Practitioner
Certified Lifestyle Counselor
www.caringcounselor.com

 

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In Memory: Diana Crosley, June 18, 2014

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diana2003a

Portland, OR, Cushing’s Conference, October 2003, Day 2, at a “House of Magic” dinner.

diana2003b

Portland, OR, Cushing’s Conference, October 2003, Day 3. It was very windy on the Oregon Coast!

diana2005

Brighton, MI: Cushing’s Weekend, October 2005

diana2007

Columbus, OH Cushing’s meeting, 2007

Diana’s official obituary from Adams Funeral Home:

Diana Lynn Alexander Crosley, age 58, of Sidney, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, June 18, 2014, at 10:10 p.m. at her residence surrounded by her loving family.  She was born September 30, 1955, in Sidney, the daughter of Francis Alexander, and the late Laverne Egbert Alexander.

Diana is survived by her father and step-mother, Francis and Carole Alexander, of Sidney; daughters, Stacie Crosley, of Columbus, Casey Crosley, of Silver Spring, Maryland, Ericka Crosley, of Sidney; one granddaughter, Ella Laws, of Sidney; two sisters, Kathy and Randy Watercutter, of Minster, and Susan Alexander, of Mt. Vernon, Missouri.

Diana was a 1973 graduate of Anna High School. She was a registered nurse for many years. In her spare time she enjoyed meditating and doing yoga. She also enjoyed relaxing at the beach in Florida.

Her family, her children and especially her granddaughter, was the love of her life. She will be deeply missed by all.

The Crosley family would like to express their sincere thanks to Ms. Lisa Blagg and the entire staff of Wilson Hospice for the continued compassionate care of their mother during her extended illness.

Funeral services will be held on Saturday, June 21, 2014, at 3:00 p.m., at the Adams Funeral Home, 1401 Fair Road, Sidney.

Family and friends may call from 12-3 p.m. on Saturday, prior to services at the funeral home.

Memorial contributions may be made to Wilson Memorial Hospice in Diana’s memory.
Envelopes will be available at the funeral home.


Diana’s Cushing’s Help bio:

As with everyone who suffers from this disease, mine is a rather long story.

In retrospect, I believe I became symptomatic sometime around 1994. Particularly, I remember the weight gain and facial hair. I was also somewhat depressed, but at the time I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and had a lot of “on the job stress” in my position as a psychiatric nurse, working for an HMO. In addition, my grandmother was ill, I turned 40 and I attributed most of my problems to “life” In 1995, I accepted a job transfer from Dayton, Oh to Birmingham, Al. My grandmother had died and I needed to get away from the relationship. Unfortunately, the office in B-ham closed after approx 18months and I accepted a position as RN/Medical director at a residential facility for children with autism, seizure disorders and behavioral problems.

Meanwhile, I continued to gain weight, I began to notice some “swelling” on the back of my neck, I bruised very easily and had problems concentrating. I went on the Phen-fen diet and lost approx 40 lbs. Of course, now I’m wondering How did that happen? If the weight gain was Cushing related In June of 1998, I was thrown from a horse and fractured my pelvis in two places. Again unfortunately, the initial x-ray didn’t reveal any breaks, so I continued to work in extreme pain. My physician kept saying I was “just a slow healer”

At this point my blood pressure skyrocketed, the slightest scratch or bump would result in a major hematoma and skin tear. I had a cardiac work-up and was told I had ischemic tissue in my left ventricle and was sent to Houston for a cardiac cath.

Ok this part’s kind of funny, now of course at the time I couldn’t believe it. If anyone’s familiar with Houston, you know how terrible the traffic can be. I arrived for the cath, at 8am I was prancing like a wild animal in my room as I waited for the nurse to bring me my “sedative” At approx 11:00 she came in and began to take my vitals. Almost simultaneously, she was paged, returned to my room to tell me that the cardiologist had broken his tooth while eating a muffin for breakfast and all his procedures for the day were cancelled. I had to reschedule. Thankfully, when I did have the cath, he told my my heart” was beautiful” When I asked about the results that said I had dying tissue he replied “Oh, that must have been a blurp on the film”.

Moving on, even though my heart was fine, I had now regained all of the weight I had lost and was in constant pain. I then moved to Florida to stay with a friend’s mother, who had suffered a stroke. I began working per diem as a Home Health RN. I kept getting worse in all areas. I went to a doctor in Fl. who told me I was depressed and getting older, ergo all my problems. He told me that the buffalo hump was a fatty lipoma and referred me to a surgeon to have it removed. I went to a surgeon for a consult, was scheduled for surgery and my COBRA ran out on my insurance and I couldn’t afford to continue it.

I then went to a plastic surgeon, who confirmed it was a fatty lipoma, of course One of the biggest he had ever seen. He even photographed it to use for teaching seminars. And don’t you know, it grew right back. I spent 1700.00 (on credit) and it came back. At this point, I was having trouble standing, sitting, lying down. I was in constant pain and was having a lot of problems just trying to do my job. I went to another physician who thought I was depressed and maybe had leukemia because my lab work was all screwed up. Here again, the bad news was I was dying but it might take twenty years for the leukemia to kill me. At this point, I was ready to hang it all up.

Then, in Aug of 2001, I had just seen my last patient and was on my way to the office to complete the paperwork when a young man did a U-turn and t-boned me on the driver’s side. This just about put me over the edge, however, again, on the bright side, I went to a chiropractor, whom I had been seeing, and she ordered an MRI of my back. The MRI also, incidentally, revealed massive bilateral, adrenal hyperplasia.

I contacted the Nurse’s Endocrine Society. They sent info on Cushing’s. I could not believe the sketching of the women with Cushing’s it looked just like me. I also fit the symptom profile, almost completely. I was referred to an endocrinologist in Melbourne, FL. He did the 24-hour urines and dex test, confirmed the diagnosis, I was already convinced. He contacted the NIH as I didn’t have health insurance. I had a bilateral adrenalectomy (right side laproscopically and open left side as I began to bleed) Jan 17, 2002. I was discharged on Jan 26th.

I came to Ohio to stay with my daughters while I recovered, never thinking in my wildest imagination that that process would be so lengthy and utterly miserable. I hurt everywhere like I had never hurt before. I developed a serious sinus infection I went back to Florida in Feb. I stayed with friends. I applied for disability, I hoped for a worker’s comp settlement for my back injury. The insurance company who was handling my claim filed Chap 11 and all pay outs were suspended. They did pay for some physical therapy. There contention is that it was the Cushing’s that was my major problem and not related to the accident, however, duh! They’re right, but because I had the Cushing’s the injury I incurred in the accident was more severe than the average person would have sustained.

When I went to the NIH in Jan the chest X-ray revealed multiple healing rib fractures which were most likely a result of the accident. So, I’m still awaiting word on my disability, I was denied, appealed, denied again and am waiting for the hearing. In the meantime, my car was repossessed, I will most likely have to file bankruptcy and am now staying with my oldest daughter in Columbus.

I have lost approx 55lbs, my skin is healed, my buffalo hump and moon face are gone. I am still in quite a bit of pain in my joints, muscles and bones. I don’t have the energy I would like to have and I still have spacey moments. The mental part has been tough. A lot of days I really wanted to be dead. I was on morphine for my pain and I was so sick I would start vomiting and it would go on for 24-36-48 hrs. I finally quit taking the morphine and thank God, that has stopped. I am relying on my family and friends for everything and I’m used to being the giver, not the taker. I guess I’m learning to be humble and I am so much better, it’s just that I’ve just gotten access to the internet, and have been reading the chat board and message board and it seems that I am still a “slow healer”

It has been one year since that surgery and I guess my expectations were that if I kept trying to be patient, get through this year things would be back to a semblance of normalcy. OK I know I’m wordy.

Thanks for the support and I would welcome input from anyone.

Diana

Update January 28, 2011

It’s been awhile since I’ve been on the boards and I’ve tried to update my bio on occasion. However, due to my impaired technical abilities (lol) I was unable to figure out how to do so, even though Mary has made it SO easy. Again, lol

Anyway, the first five yrs post BLA were painful and traumatic but also a blessing. In 2005 I started taking yoga classes and that was the beginning of an amazing transformation for me. It led to meditation and an exploration of the spiritual meaning of this illness and of life in general. Of course the transformation wasn’t immediate and it is ongoing but I feel so blessed to be experiencing this life. I’ve learned to be grateful for the gifts of all of my experiences. Without Cushings, I never would have met some of the most caring and amazing people on this earth.

In July of 2008 I returned to Florida. I am now living in a little beach town, bought a bicycle and ride it almost every day. I still have pain, but it’s manageable and I focus on my breath and gratitudes as a way of managing it. I’ve learned the value of positive thoughts and intentions. I’ve learned that we are all more powerful than we may have ever imagined. I’ve met some amazing people here and continue to read and attent seminars and classes on exploring my purpose in this life and the gifts I have to give to the universe.

To all who are just beginning this Cushing’s journey, and for those experiencing the feeling of “no light at the end of the tunnel” -the light is there, just waiting for your arrival.

You can and will get through this, your life is not over.

Again, many thanks to Mary O who has given her gifts to help other souls navigate their way through a painful time

Much love to all
Diana

In Memory: Kathryn McBride ‘Bridie’ Miller, May 1, 2007

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in-memory

From the Message Boards at http://cushings.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=21816

“My name is Caroline and I dont post often but have met a few of you guys and read the board regularly, it has definitely been a godsend to cushies everywhere. The reason I am writing tonight is I have just received devastating information about a dear friend of mine, and a woman some of you may have met during testing. Her name is Kathryn Miller and she is a patient of Dr. Ludlam, that is how she and I met. She was diagnosed with cushings late last fall and had surgery in December and was doing pretty well afterwards.

Long story short, from the information I have received from her mother, She knew a man that she met off of a christian singles website.. I dont know many details about it, but I do know that he drove from his home in Pennsylvania to hers in Cleveland Ohio posing as a balloon delivery man, to then gun down her father killing him, and then to chase after her and gun her down in her neighbors front yard where she later died in surgery. This man then proceeded to commit suicide in his car when the police began to chase him.

Kathryn was an incredible person, and came from a loving, wonderful family. She was a fighter in every sense of the word, and never complained about the fact she was so sick. She always joked that she would one day ‘look hot’ in a bikini again. And she would always say there would be the day when we cushies would be happy and healthy again.

So heres to you Kathryn, I pray you are finally out of pain and that you are happy and cushings free in heaven. I will never forget you, you are in my heart forever. As much as it hurts to not have you here, I take comfort knowing you are smiling down from above. Fly on angel, fly on.”


Kathryn ‘Bridie’ and Albert Miller
Murdered May 1, 2007

~Ages 31 and 71, respectively ~Hometown: Mayfield Heights, OH

On May 1, 2007 Scott Esposito, 38, drove about six hours from his home in Macungie, PA to Mayfield Heights, OH. That’s where his love interest, Kathryn McBride ‘Bridie’ Miller, 31, lived. He showed up at her door with a dozen ‘I love you’ balloons. An attempt at reconciliation perhaps for, although Esposito’s family believed the two were still dating, those who knew Miller say that she broke off the relationship about six months earlier.

Miller lived with her parents. Her father, Albert Miller, 71, answered the door when Esposito arrived. The two exchanged words. Esposito subsequently shot Mr. Miller five times, killing him. Ms. Miller heard the commotion and tried to leave the house through the back door, Esposito shot her eight times as she fled. A neighbor called 911, but Ms. Miller was dead before help arrived. Esposito then tried to flee in his car. When cornered by police, he committed suicide with a gunshot to the head.

Police do not know exactly what caused Esposito’s rampage. He purchased a gun the day before the shooting. In his car he had over 500 rounds of ammunition. He did not have a suitcase or other personal belongings, suggesting that he planned to return home the same day or perhaps that he contemplated his suicide in advance. Police hope to access the couple’s email exchanges to learn more.

Esposito called Ms. Miller when he was en route to her house. She called her mother, who was not home, and told her Esposito was coming, but it does not appear she feared him. It seems, though, that she asked her father to turn Esposito away, resulting in the argument Mr. Miller and Esposito had at the door.

Ms. Miller met Esposito via an online dating site for Catholics. There are conflicting reports about how long ago they met. It may have been as long as two years ago. They saw each other infrequently – because they lived 400 miles apart – but emailed and talked via phone daily when they were together. A friend said Ms. Miller became concerned over Esposito’s ‘irrational’ behavior and ended the relationship in October 2006. One news story said the couple had a brief on and off relationship last fall and only limited contact since December.

Esposito had a bachelor’s degree in business administration and worked as an independent insurance broker. He lived with his parents and older sister, who had spina bifida, so he could help care for them. He had no criminal record. His family says the shooting was completely out of character for him.

Mr. Miller ran his own employee placement agency from his home. An employee of the business was in the home at the time of the shootings, but was unharmed.

Ms. Miller, who had cerebral palsy, held both a Master’s degree in education and a certificate in speech pathology. She worked previously as a teacher.


From: http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/
base/cuyahoga/1178181906224960.xml&coll=2

Shooter left behind 2 victims, questions
Man drove hours to ex-girlfriend’s house for ‘purpose,’ police say
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Damian G. Guevara
Plain Dealer Reporter

Mayfield Heights – Scott Esposito drove 400 miles from his Pennsylvania home Tuesday with balloons for his long-distance love interest. He also had a loaded gun.

Esposito ultimately gave Kathryn McBride Miller the bullets – at least eight hollow-point rounds to her head, torso and extremities. He also shot and killed her father, 71-year-old Albert Miller. As police closed in a short time later, Esposito put the black, .22-caliber Luger in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

With the shooter and his victims dead, police on Wednesday were trying to make sense of the rampage. Investigators met with relatives to learn more about the relationship between Miller, 31, and Esposito, 38, of Macungie, Pa., about 65 miles northwest of Philadelphia.

Esposito dated Miller sporadically last fall, but their contact had waned since December, Lt. Chris Sonnhalter said. Miller never reported any trouble between the two to authorities, and her family knew of Esposito, Sonnhalter said. It remained unclear how Miller and Esposito met, but the two never lived in the same area, Sonnhalter said. Police are looking at their e-mail exchanges for clues.

“Obviously, he had some bad intentions . . . whether to end his life or someone else’s,” Sonnhalter said.

Sometime before the killings, Miller learned Esposito was traveling across Pennsylvania to see her, Sonnhalter said. Early in the day Tuesday, she called her mother at work about the pending visit but did not express any alarm.

Kathryn Miller was a former teacher who had a license in speech pathology. She was a graduate of Xavier University and the University of Virginia, where she earned a master’s degree in education. She taught in Hudson schools for one year, in 2002-03.

Her father, Albert, ran an employee-placement business from his home, police and neighbors said.

Police found a work badge belonging to Esposito in his green Jeep Cherokee but learned little about the man Wednesday. He had no criminal record.

Neither the Miller family nor Esposito’s relatives could be reached for comment Wednesday.

Police believe the bespectacled Esposito wanted to maintain a romantic bond with Miller against her wishes and became angry when spurned.

“It was about the relationship,” Sonnhalter said. “I think he brought that gun to Cleveland for a purpose.”

Sonnhalter gave this account of the slayings:

Esposito, driving the Jeep Cherokee, arrived at the Millers’ Woodhawk Drive home in Mayfield Heights at 3:45 p.m. Clutching the balloon bouquet, Esposito knocked on the door.

Albert Miller answered. Nobody witnessed the confrontation, but police believe the men argued.

Esposito shot the elder Miller five times in the chest.

Kathryn Miller was watching television in the family room. She heard the commotion and tried to flee the house through a garage door.

Esposito fired at Miller as she ran into her front yard.

She collapsed near a neighbor’s door, leaving behind a trail of blood.

There was a third person at the Miller home: a woman who worked for Albert Miller was in a basement office and was unharmed.

Esposito got in the Jeep and sped away from the house. Woodhawk Drive is a dead-end street, so Esposito headed east toward SOM Center Road.

Three police cars blocked him in as he neared the intersection. As officers surrounded the vehicle, Esposito put his new gun in his mouth and fired.

One officer discharged a shot that struck Esposito in the right arm and shattered the passenger-side window of the vehicle.

Investigators found a box containing more than 500 rounds of ammunition in Esposito’s Jeep. He had purchased the Luger at a Pennsylvania store Monday evening for about $200.

Plain Dealer reporters Donna J. Miller and Ellen Jan Kleinerman and news researcher JoEllen Corrigan contributed to this story.

To reach this Plain Dealer reporter:
dguevara@plaind.com, 216-999-4334

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MaryO: Day 14 of 40 Days of Thankfulness

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From 40 Days of Thankfulness

 

I am thankful, believe it or not, that I had Cushing’s. Mind you, I wouldn’t want to have it now, although diagnoses and surgeries seem “easier” now.

 

Having Cushing’s taught me a lot, including how to stick up for myself, how to read medical books to learn more about my disease, how to do web design, how to navigate NIH. It taught me patience, how to make phone calls. It brought me a lot of new friends.

 

I am also thankful that people are becoming more empowered and participating in their own diagnoses, testing and treatment. Things have changed a lot since my surgery in 1987!

 

 

When I had my Cushing’s over 30 years ago, I never thought that I would meet another Cushing’s patient in real life or online. Back then, I’d never even been aware that there was anything like an “online”. I’m so glad that people struggling with Cushing’s today don’t have to suffer anymore thinking that they’re the only one who deals with this.

 

Because of my work on the websites – and, believe me it is a ton of work! – I have had the honor of meeting hundreds of other Cushies personally at local meetings, conferences, at NIH (the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, MD where I had my final diagnosis and surgery). It occurred to me once that this is probably more Cushies than most endocrinologists will ever see in their entire career. I’ve also talked to countless others on the phone. Amazing for a “rare” disease!

 

I don’t know what pushed me in 1983 when I first noticed I was sick, how I got the confidence and self-empowerment to challenge these doctors and their non-diagnoses over the years. I’m thankful that I didn’t suffer any longer than I did and I’m glad that I have a role in helping others to find the medical help that they need.

 

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