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Marian U (MaidM), Adrenal Bio

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HI!

I had Cushings symptoms for about 20 years (I am 43) before I finally had surgery at NIH on August 29, 2012.  Before 2 years ago, I had never even heard of Cushings.  Without the aid of a very perseptive medical accupuncturist, I would probably still be suffering today.   Perhaps, if I had heard about it sooner, I wouldn’t have suffered for so many years.  My goal is to help as many people as possible in battling this devastating disease.

I am so happy that I have a new chance at a real life! Feel free to contract me.  Below is a piece I wrote before surgery and my stats.

🙂 Marian

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My Experience with Cushing’s Syndrome

The changes came about gradually.  So gradually, that it is very difficult to pin-point exactly when the overall change became larger than the sum of individual changes and thus was something that was difficult to ignore. For my whole life, I was “Marian” and then one day, I was someone else.  I had become someone unrecognizable: the “Not Marian.”

One of my favorite books, “The Tipping Point,” by Malcolm Gladwell, expands on the premise that little changes make a huge difference.  Individually, the changes I experienced were easily explained.  I was tired. I had nighttime hot flashes.  I gained weight. I was moody and forgetful.  My sight was blurry.  I often typed or said the wrong word. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t remove my rings without soaping up my finger first.  One day, I forgot how to roll down my car windows.  I experienced moments of panic where I was driving and couldn’t remember what road I was on or where I was going. When I mentioned any or all of these symptoms in a group of women over forty, I heard a cavalcade of similar stories, usually expanding into an animated discussion centering on menopause and aging.

I also noticed that I stopped getting compliments.  People, except my amazingly supportive husband, just didn’t say that I looked nice or pretty anymore.  I tried not to be vain; I thought that I probably had just reached the point where I aged enough that I no longer was going to get the attention that I used to get.  I had “hit” the proverbial “wall.”

It is easy to look in a mirror and only see a stylized version of yourself.  But, photos are more precise.  For some time, I had noticed something “off” in the photos that were sometimes posted of me on-line.   They just didn’t look like me anymore.  I untagged myself and brushed them off as bad photos with only the vague realization that the “Marian” I thought I was, was no longer me.

My epiphany came in the form of the photos on my work identification cards, taken about three years apart.  Not only do I look like I have aged about ten years — I also look completely different.  My face is much fuller, my features are distorted, my eyes are sunken, my hair is stringy, and my skin is sallow.  I look like a bad photo copy of my former self.

Now, I realize that how I look is a small part of who I am as a person.  However, it is also the part of me that everyone sees first.  I remember being in the dressing room at Target and catching a glimpse of the “Not Marian” in the mirror.  I was astonished at my reflection and cried.

A friend suggested that I just realize that this “Not Marian” is who I am now.  I don’t think that this bad advice; it is just advice that is easy to say, but difficult to follow.  I often compare my sense of futility regarding my desperate attempts to become “Marian” again to Hercules’s labor of cleaning the Aegean Stables.  I exercised four or so times a week.  I went to a diet doctor.  I ate under 1200 calories a day.  I bought new clothes.  I got my nails done.  Despite these efforts, I only saw minor improvements in the way I looked and felt.  I still felt as though I was always wearing a rubber suit over my skin that covered my former self.

In many ways, the diagnosis of Cushing Syndrome was a relief.  Finally, there was an explanation for the way that I felt and, though serious, Cushing’s is generally a completely curable disease.   But, knowing I have Cushing’s presents another problem, when is it appropriate to tell peop

My initial inclination was to tell everyone.   I wanted to explain the difference between the “Marian” you remember and the “Not Marian” that you see now is a result of this rare disease I have.   “It’s not really me!  It’s the Cushing’s.”  I tried it a couple of times with mixed results.

Mostly, people said that they had not noticed a significant change in the way I looked or behaved.  My closer friends were more tolerant, expressed concern, and asked questions.  The reality is that nothing (except maybe vacation recaps) is more uninteresting in light conversation than talking about illnesses and ailments.  And though it was significant to me, the changes were not readily observable.  So, I will try not to talk about it.

I know that my upcoming surgery is not a panacea, though it is nearly impossible not to view it as such.  I have scrolled through hundreds of websites and blogs looking at photos and reading synopses of people before and after treatment.  I have connected with someone who was successfully treated for a Cushing’s syndrome through Cushing’s Support and Research Foundation.  Ultimately, my hope is that the loss of me is only temporary and that through successful treatment of the disease; I can begin to feel like “Marian” again.

STATS

July 2010: MRI at Kaiser showing a pituitary adenoma. High 24 Hour cortisol. Low DHEA.  Low ACTH. Referred to NIH.

Late July 2010:  CT at Kaiser showed “suspicious” tumor on left adrenal. (High HU, e.g. cancer)

Sep 2010: NIH testing.

Nov 2010:  NIH re-read the results of CT and MRI. NO pituitary adenoma and BENIGN tumor on left adrenal.

Dec 2010 – April 2011:  Unable to replicate high cortisol test at NIH. Diagnosed as pseudo Cushings due to stress. Yearly follow up recommended.

April 2012:  Follow up testing at NIH.  Cortisol is high.  CT of adrenal tumor is stable.

June 2012.  Second cortisol at NIH is high.  Diagnosis cyclical Cushings.  Will not operate.  Note that I do not look like clinical Cushings, so that was part of the problem.

July 2012: Bone density loss of 25% in three years confirmed through Kaiser.  I happened to luckily have had a previous bone scan so that they could compare.  The current bone density scan wouldn’t have been enough because I didn’t have osteoporosis yet.

Aug 6, 2012: Referred for surgery on Aug 27.

Aug 26, 2012: Enter NIH.  Surgery postponed but I can’t leave because of the testing!

Aug 29, 2012.  Surgery!  The surgery itself was easy.

Sep 2, 2012:  Left NIH

Returned to work half days Sept 4 and full time Sep 10.

Judi L (judi), Undiagnosed Bio

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I have been seeing the endo for the last couple of weeks.  Lots of blood tests, saliva test, 24 hour urine test.  Thyroid scan, with nodules, thyroid biopsy benign, small goiter,and diagnosed with hashimoto.

Currently type 2 diabetic fairly controlled with Victoza, but very insulin resistance.  First blood tests showed high cortisol, high ACTH, second series of blood tests showed normal to high cortisol and still high ACTH.  Doctor said possible cushings.  Have had extreme fatigue, beard on chin.  Muscle and bone pain consistently.  Wake up with headache and extreme fatigue.Bone scan diagnosed with osteopenia.  Appt. with endo tomorrow to get results of 24 hr. urine test.  Salavia test said was normal.

Have problems with sleep, sleep all day off and on, or have days when I cannot go to sleep at all.  She said that I had the hump, muffin top, and belly fat, lean arms and legs.  Eyes are puffy all the time now.  Have problems losing weight even though I eat healthy all the time, and have excluded gluten, sugar, and going to go diary free.  Eat lots of vegetables and fruit as well as a little protein.  Have not had a mri or cat scan yet.  Probably will be next on the list.  Will post after my doctor’s appt. tomorrow and update my bio.

I have a lot of symptoms of cushings and she mentioned this with my second doctors visit after the first series of blood test, but wanted to do other tests to make sure.

Angelique L (Angelique), Undiagnosed Bio

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I am 54 year old woman with no kids. I had a hysterectomy at age 44 and went through the change. I was slightly overweight at the time and went on a healthy weight loss programme over 5 years and got down to my goal weight. Life looking good.


Fast forward to 2019 and I got a very painful and swollen pituitary gland infection on the right side of my face. Admitted to hospital and administered 60mg Prednisone intravenously. Then prednisone for 1 week tablet form after I left the hospital. No actual tapering off, just a prescription of 20mg daily.


This when the problems started, after 2 weeks my moon face appeared, bloated and fatigued I went to my GP. He said Cushings probably.


2 years later I am 60lbs heavier, distinct lump at the base of my neck, fat on my upper arms and between my thighs, belly, chronic fatigue. The weight is extremely stubborn. My sex life is dead, my relationships are foundering and my depression and anxiety is managed by seclusion and sleeping.


I am desperate to find a solution, but fearful my search will tell me I am damaged and have a short life expectancy.
So I came here perhaps to find support. Too many of the stories, sound just like me.


Take care all. Thanks for reading.
Angelique

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Shea S (Shea), Undiagnosed Bio

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I am a 54-year-old woman who over the past two years has developed a buffalo hump and gained 60 pounds.

Initially, I had hair coming in heavily but now I seem to be losing it: my eyebrows, the hair on my forearms, facial hair and now the hair on my head. I hurt… A lot!

I have trouble sleeping, I am moody and I have no “absolute zero” interest in what was once a vibrant sex life. I’m confused and so done with doctors telling me I just need to lose weight.

My self-esteem has bottomed out at zero, going from my very active fitness oriented lifestyle to an often limping, painful, moon faced, overweight, buffalo humped middle-aged woman.

Aaaaaggghhhh!


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Mary Lou (MarLo), Undiagnosed Bio

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I am the mother of a 19 girl who is currently being evaluated for Cushing’s Syndrome/Disease.  My daughter is in her first year of college and over the past eighteen months, she has gained close to 50 pounds.  I have watched her struggle and we have even attended two military-style bootcamps for weight loss.

Despite eating healthy, during that five weeks, she gained 2 pounds.  Her facial features are so distorted from her moonface appearance that she does not even look like herself.  She has a Buffalo Hump and purple stretch marks on her rotund abdomen.  She has almost no energy and when not in class, she is sleeping in her dorm.  She has a brown stripe of skin in  the crease of her neck which prompted her roommate to ask her if she had worn a necklace with copper in it.  Her vision is poor and her periods are now very irregular.  She has excessive thirst and urination.

About a year ago, she had her wisdom teeth extracted and ended up with a life-threatening infection which included a second surgery emergency surgery and she was placed on a ventilator in ICU for three days, due to the possibility of the infection (swelling) occluding her trachea.  The doctors were so perplex how a healthy girl could have such a poor outcome from this surgery.

I looked up some of these symptoms and it seemed rather clear what she likely had.  I took her to an internist and expressed my concern about Cushing’s when she was home for Christmas break.  The physician ordered blood tests, including a CBC and metabolic panel, thyroid panel, and prolactin.  She also ordered a 24 hour urine for Cortisol.  Her CBC was normal as was the prolactin and thyroid.  Her liver enzymes were elevated about three times normal.  She then followed up with a Hepatits panel and an abdominal ultrasound, both of which were normal.  The 24 hour urine Cortisol was elevated and we are now waiting on a referral to an endocrinologist.

My daughter’s university is about 350 miles from our home, therefore I requested the endocrinologist be in her college town.  I plan on going there for her appointments and my husband and I have discussed moving there if necessary.  She has a very kind roommate who is dependable and helpful.  I still do not like her being so far away, knowing that she likely has a very serious condition.  My daughter’s spirits remain high and I think she is looking forward to beginning treatment, whatever it may be, and feeling better.  I know that the weight and the fatigue are the most troublesome for her.  I appreciate this site which has allowed me to express my concerns to so many who have been there.  God bless you all!

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Actress Charly Clive, Pituitary Adenoma

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Best friends Charly Clive and Ellen Robertson thought carefully about what to call the tumour that was growing in Charly’s brain.

The doctors had their own name for the golf-ball-sized growth sitting right behind Charly’s left eye — a pituitary adenoma — but the friends decided they needed something less scary. They flirted with calling it Terry Wogan (‘as in Pitui-Terry Wogan,’ says Ellen), but that didn’t seem quite right.

So Britney Spears fan Charly, then 23, suggested Britney. Bingo! Not only was she ‘iconic and fabulous’, but Britney was also one of life’s survivors. From then on, they were a threesome — Charly, Ellen and Britney the brain tumour — although Ellen is at pains to point out that this Britney was never a friend.

What a thing to have to deal with, so young. The pair, who met at school in rural Oxfordshire, are now actresses. Charly’s biggest role to date has been in the critically acclaimed 2019 Channel 4 series Pure, while Ellen starred in the Agatha Christie mini-series The Pale Horse.

But this week they appeared together in Britney, a BBC comedy based on the story of Charly’s brain tumour. The TV pilot (and yes, they are hoping for a full series) is an expansion of a sell-out stage show they performed at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2016.

The production is admittedly surreal. Viewers are led inside Charly’s brain and the show includes a scene where Charly dons an inflatable sumo-wrestler suit on the day of her diagnosis. Poetic licence? No, it really happened.

‘My dad’s mate had given him a sumo suit as a silly Christmas present and so, on Doomsday, we took photos of me in it.’

The tone was set for how these friends would deal with the biggest challenge of their lives: they would laugh through it, somehow.

As the women, now 28, point out, what was the alternative?

Charly says: ‘It was that thing of laughing at the monster so you are not scared of it. If you cry when do you stop? It was easier to make light of it.’

Their show is not really about a brain tumour. It’s a celebration of friendship. Ellen pretty much moved in with Charly’s family during this time (‘To be in place when I exploded, so she could pick up the debris,’ says Charly).

The pair live together today, finishing each other’s sentences as we speak on Zoom — and at one point both miming Charly’s brain surgery (with gruesome sound effects).

This sort of silliness rooted their friendship, which started at the age of 14 when they wrote their own plays (Finding Emo, anyone?) while at school together in Abingdon. Charly later moved to New York to study dramatic arts, and Ellen studied at Cambridge.

In 2015, Charly came home for a visit, and went to see her GP (played in the drama by Omid Djalili) about her lack of periods and a blind spot in her peripheral vision. An MRI scan showed a mass on her brain. ‘They said it had eroded the bone in my nose and was pressing on the optic nerve, and it was lucky we had caught it,’ she says. ‘The next step would have been discovering it because I’d gone blind.’

Even worse, the tumour was so close to her carotid artery that removal might kill her — and they still had no idea if it was cancerous. Into the breach stepped Ellen. ‘I saw it as my job to make her laugh, which is what I’d always done anyway,’ she says. They both talk of toppling into limbo, ‘almost like a fantasy world’, says Charly. ‘As I was going through the tests, we’d do impressions of the doctors and create our own scenarios.’

The friends talk about sitting up into the night, watching TV. There is a touching moment when Charly admits she was afraid to sleep, and Ellen knew it. ‘It’s hard when you are thinking “What if the tumour grows another inch in the night and I don’t wake up?” ’

Charly was operated on in March 2016, and Ellen remembers the anaesthetist confiding that Charly’s heart had stopped on the operating table.

‘He wasn’t the most tactful person we’ve ever met. He said “Oh my God, guys, she died”.’ Charly makes a jazz hands gesture. ‘And guess who is alive again?’ Even at that darkest moment, there were flashes of humour. Ellen laughs at the memory of the surgeon in his scrubs, with wellies on. ‘They had blood on them. I was transfixed. I wanted to ask “Is that Charly’s . . . brain blood?” ’

In the stage version of the show, the anaesthetist gets two full scenes. ‘He’s the heartthrob of the piece,’ says Charly. ‘A sexy rugger bloke who is crap at talking to people.’

The days that followed the surgery were hideous — and yet they, too, have been mined for comedy. Charly’s face was bandaged, ‘as if I’d had a Beverly Hills facelift’, and she was warned that she could not sneeze. ‘If I did, bits of my brain would come out my nose,’ she says.

Ellen read her extracts from Harry Potter but ‘made them smutty’, which confused the already confused Charly further. ‘I was drug-addled and not myself, and in the most bizarre pain, concentrated in my face’.

‘That week after the surgery was the worst part of all,’ says Ellen, suddenly serious. ‘She was behaving oddly and there was this unacknowledged fear: was this Charly for ever?’ Oh, the relief when the old Charly eventually re-emerged — albeit a more fragile, often tearful version.

It was Ellen who persuaded Charly to take their stage show about her illness public — and it went on to win much critical acclaim. ‘I wanted Charly to see it as something other than just this rubbish chapter that needed to be forgotten about,’ says Ellen.

For her part, Charly credits her best friend as her saviour: ‘I don’t know how I would have got through it all without Ellen.’

The good news is that Britney was not cancerous, although surgery did not obliterate her entirely. ‘She’s still there, but tiny — just a sludge. I’ve been told that she won’t grow though. If I ever do get another brain tumour, it won’t be Britney.’

Off they go again, imagining what is happening now inside Charly’s brain. ‘Britney is still in there, trying on outfits for a comeback tour, but it won’t happen,’ says Charly. Ellen nods. ‘It’s over,’ she says. ‘But she’s just left a pair of shoes behind.’

Britney is available to watch on BBC Three and BBC iPlayer

Adapted from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10264203/I-laughed-brain-tumour-Id-never-stop-crying-Actress-Charly-Clive.html

Trish, Steroid-Induced Bio

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golden-oldie

Hello, my name is Trish.

My wife Lynn (we are lesbian civil unioned partners in NJ) has been diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome (for the 2nd time in 4 years).  I love her very much and would do anything to help her, but I don’t understand her condition fully.

She got Cushing’s Syndrome from abundant steroid injections due to a severe back injury and it has rendered her “comatose”.   She has no energy, she sleeps all the time, and I miss her and am lonely when she is in this state, which is all the time.

Please help me to understand this better as I love her and want to help/comfort her and make her realize that I am there for the long haul, however long that is!!

Thanks.

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Denise (Jeff’s Mom), Undiagnosed Bio

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My son is almost 16 years old and so sick he hardly gets out of bed anymore.  Although no Dr.s believes me I do believe he has Cushings and the Dr.s can not give me any other idea’s of what is wrong with him only that he needs to lose weight and exercise more.  My son is so tired of hearing this that at his last appointment with a specialist at Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia he left in tears and wants to know why no one is helping him.  He is to the point where he doesn’t even want to go to the Dr.s anymore, he thinks it’s pointless.  He has only had one 24hr Urine test which came back normal and an cortisol & ACTH test taken at 5pm and these were also within range.  I am going to guess maybe things started at the age of 9 or 10 and progressively gotten worse.

His symptoms are as follows and the explained away answers from the Dr.s –

1. Headaches all day everyday – sometimes severe, sometimes just there and no amount of advil seems to take it away completely – Dr.s probably puberty and since he is a big kid take up to 4-advil every 4 hours.
2. Buffalo Hump – we brought him to the Dr. about 2-3yrs ago for this odd hump on the back of his neck – Dr.s it’s just a fat deposit – he just deposits fat in odd places
3. Red to purple stretch marks that fade and get brighter but never go away completely – they appear in masses on his sides, back, shoulders and stomach – Dr.s response although his stretch marks are quite impressive they are typical of what you would see in cushings they are not purple enough or wide enough.
4. Severe pain in back and knee (sometimes elbows) – he can’t even take a simple trip to the stores as it is to much for him to walk around – his is 15yrs old and is now asking me to get him a cane to help him get around.  Dr.s response to the pain – must be growing pains (my son is 6’1″ and I was just told he is pretty much done growing)
5. He does not sleep at night, says can’t fall to sleep no matter how hard he tries and when he finally does fall asleep in the morning early hours he will sleep most of the day, then wake up still feeling tired.  He told me it’s like his mind sleeps but his body doesn’t feel rested at all.  Dr.s said he needs to stop video games and t.v. to hours before bed – these types of things stimulate the mind thats why he can’t sleep.
When the Dr.s were told the rest, they really didn’t say anything at all – below are the rest of his symptoms:
6.  He is starving at night – he says he has to eat he is so hungry
7. Having a hard time remembering things and getting progressively worse
8. Losing his grip – he can barely right his name – when I ask him to squeeze my hand it hardly even hurts me now and he says when he tries to squeeze hard he gets this odd sensation up his arm and it feels really off .
9. Has a hard time sitting for an extended amount of time – this has caused him to miss the last 6 weeks of school – his says the pain in his back and sides are just to much to handle when trying to sit.
10. He has had numerous skin aliments, mouth sores
11. Always thirsty
12. Acanthosis Nigricans – back of neck, under arms, elbows
13. never a sick child until recently – strep throat, mono (which I was first told he didn’t have), normal colds now last for weeks with him where he never even got colds before.
14. slow healing of cuts and he scars horribly

I am sure there are other things but these are the first to come to the top of my head.  His biggest complaint is the memory loss, lack of sleep and pain.  I am scared for my son and do not understand how this is acceptable for anyone let alone a 15yr old.  I am watching him get worse and watching his precious teenage years just pass right by him.

Contact Denise here.

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Voices from the Past: Margaret S (Maggierose), Possible Adrenal Bio

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undiagnosed 5

Hi

I’m new to cushings and just looking for some insight into this disease. I’m 67 yrs and for the last 15 yrs I have not felt good and problems getting worse with no explanations in the past. After discussing problems with my Dr I was tested twice for thyroid but tests came back normal.

I do have other problems due to surgeries in the past, I have adhesions, scar tissue etc. I am now type 2 diabetic since last 5 yrs.

I was admitted to hospital because of stomach pain in July this year, I had a cat scan which showed I had tumours on my adrenal glands. The left being the largest. I am waiting to see the endo surgeon in November but have just finished some tests I’ve blood, 12 hr and 24 hr urine specimen. No results as yet.

My symptoms are as follows.

Sweating mainly evening time around 9pm

Can’t sleep until 3am, but could easily sleep on afternoon if I allowed myself.

Changes in face. When I look in mirror I often think this does not look like me.

I have put weight on but not a lot. I have been noticing a lot of facial hair on my face.

I had very, very thick hair and it’s now extremely thin. I have a type of rash on my face which has got worse over the years. It seems like my legs and arms are much thinner than they used to be but my abdomen is getting larger, mainly my upper abdomen. I don’t have any stria but have similar marks on my legs especially around my knees. My skin marks easily. I also seem to have a small buffalo hump on my back. Seem to have brain fog but usually put that down to age. Feel tired all the time.

Some things I can maybe put down to age.

I would appreciate any comments from members. I will let you know when I get results.

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Vicky (Vicjy), Adrenal Bio

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Hi. For the last couple of years I have had different symptoms. I’m 45 and feel like I’m 70. I think it started about 3 years ago. I would break or fracture something and it would take forever to heal. I gained over 60 lbs. I’m always tired yet don’t sleep well. I look like I’m 9 months pregnant but skinny arms and legs. Stretch marks on body. Round red Face that constantly feels hot. My back has a hump and my neck has fat pads. Finally, prehypertension. I also have intense itching especially in a soecific area. Oh, let’s not forget anxiety and focus issues. .

I had enough. About 7 months ago I began going from doctor to doctor. Every test came back fine and they dismissed me. Finally, I went to an endo. She tested me for Cushings. I gad 5 tests and all came back positive. All this took time but I tried to be patient. I know this is horrible but I was actually happy to finally have an answer to my issues. I then had a CT scan and found an afonona in my left adrenal gland.

I had surgery a week ago today. I’ve heard so many different stories of figuring out if they have cushings but little about their recovery. I’m hoping to hear people’s recovery stories. I’m actually much better than I thought I’d be. I’m weak, still some pain at surgical sight, out of breath, and very emotional. Also, hard to do an intellectual activity before feeling overwhelmed.

Can you all share your journey? I’m taking 40 mg of hydrocortisone a day. I was wondering if anyone had itchiness as a symptom. Doctors have told me that they haven’t heard of that as a symptom of cushings. It is horrible with me and am hoping it will go away with this surgery. I feel like it has gotten better.

Looking forward to hearing about some recovery stories and feel free to ask me anything to help other understand what they are going through.

 

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