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Janice (Not So Cushie), Installment 4 of When Angels Knock

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Read Installment 1 here

Read Installment 2 here

Read Installment 3 here


4th installment of

WHEN ANGELS KNOCK

by

Janice Barrett

 

                        CHAPTER 2

     By late afternoon, I am taken out of lockdown and put into room 206, a semi-private room in the mental ward of the hospital. It looks like any other room in any hospital. I have no roommate and don’t like being isolated; it gives me more time to wonder about my wacko behaviour, speculating about whether mom’s disease is inherited. I have my mother’s colouring but my father’s features.  

     Alone in the room, alone in my thoughts, knowing what sent me other the edge, wondering what is happening to my life, I’m startled by a rap on the door. A nurse pokes her head into my room, “The Psychiatrist would like to see you. Follow me,” she says.

     I tag along watching her back not really paying attention to where I am going. There is no nameplate on the door we enter. It’s a stark office with a desk, three chairs and no personal family photographs, books or certificates. Nothing to signal ownership. A white-coated doctor sits behind a desk and looks at me, then drops his pen on his pad. He says thank you to the nurse who leaves, closing the door behind her. 

     He motions to the chair across from his desk. “Have a seat.”

     He is dark skinned and I wonder what nationality he is. Looking at his name badge doesn’t help. There is no way I can pronounce that name.

     “Do you have no any concerns?” he asks.

     I’m sure I must have looked at him shocked. Between his heavy accent and his words, I can’t understand what he’s said. And he’s looking at me like I’m slow, because he says again almost irritated, “Do you have no any concerns?”

     A few more now. They’re growing by the minute. Of course I’m concerned, I’m in a mental ward. Is that a question? How am I to answer that? It’s too general. I need a specific question; concerns about what? About my hospital stay, the room, the nurses, about my life and what part of it? 

     “I think I am paranoid schizophrenic like my mother.”

     There I did it. That’s a legitimate concern. Maybe it will be all right after all.

     “No any paranoid person would walk in my office and articulate that. They would try to hide it and that was the one thing you say first. So you no any paranoid.”

     Oh My God, I think I understand him. I don’t know if that makes things better or worse. And think of the eye doctor when he’s examining your eyes and asks better or worse and when it gets to that point where you just aren’t sure; that’s where I am. But his words are a relief. I’m not schizophrenic. I had worried for years that I would be like my mother. I trust what he says as truth. 

     The Psychiatrist picks up his pen again. “Do you know why you are here?”

     “I went crazy.”

     “You remember?”

     “Yes.”

     “What number medications did you take?”

     “Medications? I don’t know what you mean.”

     And then I recognize Bob’s gym bag on the corner of his desk. He stands up to place the bag between us on the desk.

     “You recognize this?” he asks.

     “Yes, it’s my husband Bob’s gym bag.”

     The Psychiatrist opens the bag. “Your husband find medications. Did you buy?”

     “Yes. They’re vitamin pills.”

      “They are 37 medications.” 

     When the vitamin pills are scattered between three bathrooms and kitchen cupboards, it doesn’t seem a lot until you see them dumped in one bag. Most of these bottles have been kicking around our house for years and are long expired, but getting rid of them is a hassle. You can’t flush them down the toilet or put them in the garbage. I always forget about them on hazardous waste day when I get rid of my paint cans.

     It’s a bag of failure, a multitude of good intentions, inspired by doctors on television, or magazine articles over the past ten years to eat right, exercise and supplement with vitamins. A reminder that, I can’t stick with any program.   

     The Psychiatrist stares into this bag without examining the bottles. He doesn’t even put his hand in the bag to move them around. He sits forward in his chair, looking at me, expecting me to come up with some revelation of some kind. They are frigging vitamin pills. What does he want from me? Yeah there are a bunch, but many of the newer bottles only have a few pills out of them, because when they make my stomach bloat, I stop taking them and try and find other ones which my body can tolerate. He looks at them as some kind of evidence; for what I can’t imagine.       

     “What number medications you take from the bag?”

     “I am not on any prescribed medications from my doctor. I took vitamin A, C, D, E, and the two homeopath liquids my Chiropractor gave me, a liver-detox and lymph something drops.”

     “Here 37 bottles your husband find and put in bag. You take each?”

     “No. Four vitamins and the homeopath stuff.”

     “How you are feeling now?”

     “There’s something physically wrong with me. It’s really serious. Whatever this thing is I have, it’s weird. I’m weak and my stomach bloats up huge.”

     The Psychiatrist lays his pen down, falling back into his chair.

     “I feel like I’m going to collapse, am weak all over and get tired out fast. My head is in a fog and I get confused with pressure in my head. Sometimes my words get mixed up and my eyes are gummy and blurry.”

     He stops looking at me, his eyes roaming the ceiling, his arms crossed. This Psychiatrist is just like my family doctor, Dr. Smith. Just like this Psychiatrist, Dr. Smith won’t even acknowledge that there’s something physically wrong with me. He looks at me like I’m fat and lazy. Like I won’t help myself by dieting and exercise.

     If it weren’t for Nurse Hill, I wouldn’t know what’s wrong with me. She’s the only one who listens and believes me.

                             ***   

     I’m at Dr. Smith’s office so much, I don’t even bother sorting through the magazines. I’ve read them all. Nurse Hill calls my name and takes me to a room she works out of.

     “Dr. Smith is on holidays so you will be seeing a locum doctor,” she says.

     I wonder what kind of a doctor that is; locum at least it isn’t “loco,” but I never question, it isn’t my nature.

     The nurse does the usual blood pressure and temperature.    

     “So how are you feeling?”

     “I’m really sick but I have so many weird symptoms.”

     “Like?” Nurse Hill takes out pen and paper and lists them as I speak. She believes what I’m telling her! I don’t have to convince her I’m sick. I can relax, reassured that she’ll help me.

     Without any hesitation, she says, “This sounds like Cushing’s Disease.”

     She taps diligently on her computer keyboard until the screen displays large letters reading: “Cushing’s Disease and Syndrome. “Yes, you have almost all the symptoms listed here. I’m going to recommend blood work be done to investigate this. The locum doctor will be in shortly,” and she leaves.

     I let out a big sigh. That it could be so easy after all these horrible months of suffering. Back and forth numerous times complaining about these same symptoms, with Dr. Smith dismissing them and me over and over again.

     I wait, hopeful. The locum doctor sits down. He examines me and questions me further and writes out a requisition form for me to take to the lab to have blood work done at eight AM, precisely.

     I’m the first one in line at the lab the next morning. It’s a quick procedure and I am out the door in no time and back home. I check many websites on the internet about Cushing’s disease. The more I read about it, the more certain I am I have it. These sites are describing what is happening to my body.

                            ***

     And now here I am stuck in this hospital when I need to follow up on the blood work results. 

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J Stone (J Stone), Pituitary Bio

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Hi. I’ve been diagnosed with Cushings Disease since 2010.

My journey started in 2009: weight gain, headaches,high blood pressure, mood changes, insomnia every symptom except stretch marks.

I was in nursing school at the time, worked full time as well. I just started to feel “not right” I knew something was wrong, even mentioned all my symptoms to my nursing instructor and she said “ do you have Cushings?” Those words changed my life.

I started researching Everthing! I became obsessed. I started to visit my GP. The answer “you’re old and fat and need to diet” I was 42. Then it became “you’re premenopausal and fat” eat less, exercise more. I had been eating very well and was as active as I could be. He kept telling me the same thing for the 6months I kept going back to the MD office.

After all my research and reading I became convinced Cushings is what I possibly could have. I went to his office, sat down and told him I wasn’t leaving until I had an order for a 24 hr urine and serum cortisol. He laughed but gave me an order. Took the tests and what do you know,high levels. He promptly referred me to an Endo.

I will never forget the words she said to me on my first visit “ I’m very afraid for you” as all my tests were very high. She referred me to a specialist in Cushings which is in an other state. I traveled to see her and she confirmed and diagnosed me with Cushings disease. And then it became a whirlwind of tests and surgery. She told me I had a very advanced case and probably had Cushings for at least 5 years before seeing her.

It is now 2010, a year after I had first started to see my GP. I had my first Pituitary surgery in Nov. 2010. They removed the tumor and a bit of my pituitary. I recovered 2011. It took a very long time for my adrenal glands to wake up. I was on hydrocortisone for over a year before I @could taper off completely. I was back at work, loosing weight, getting my strength back and feeling hopeful this was the end.

Not so lucky. I had about 2 years of doing pretty good, but in 2014 I started to have all the signs again. Weight gain, pain, insomnia. My lab work had started to show all the Cushings signs again. MRI’s showed tumors, more of them are back. I tried the drugs available, all of them, none worked.

I had my second surgery June 2015. After surgery I was told it was unsuccessful plus I had even more tumors. One which is on my carotid artery. So I continued on trying the meds available, still no improvement. 2017: my symptoms getting worse, feeling terrible. Gaining weight. My tolerance to activity has greatly decreased and the headaches are constant. All the symptoms are back. I have been told I can not have any more pituitary surgeries because the tumor is on the carotid. I have altered my work, I now can only do a desk job and not work on the floor taking care of patients as it is too difficult for me.

I now have terrible high blood pressure, increased diabetes, osteoporosis with significant bone loss, weight gain, headaches constantly, insomnia etc. so the next step, I am seeing my provider who I have to travel across state lines to see and plan on discussing a BLA as I feel this is my last option to provide me relief and move on with life.

I will have to see what happens.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

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Janice (Not So Cushie), Upcoming Book, Installment 1

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Janice writes: I have written a memoir about my experiences with Cushing’s Disease. An agent is interested in it but says I have to have a platform before she will represent me. So I need a following. I want this book to get out to show people the effects of Cushing’s in our lives and to help the families going through this to better help and understand the person suffering with this disease. In the book I mention this site. Unfortunately I found it after I already had the pit surgery.  I have also written a play based on my memoir. I am on a mission to inform people of this disease.


 

I will be adding to this post on Wednesday, Friday and Monday for people who wish to follow me.

The following is an excerpt from my memoir which is about Mary O’s site and the people on it.

“Looking up medical references, I find a Cushing’s help and support internet site, founded by Mary O with over 6,000 members world wide. Story after story all screaming the same thing: believe me, listen to me, I’m sick. Doctors telling them to diet and exercise or that this is such a rare disease they can’t possibly have it. Excuses to dismiss us. It isn’t that the doctors don’t have the knowledge, they won’t believe us. So many, too many, my story isn’t unique. I am the rule and not the exception. I have to make people believe us and so I write.

WHEN ANGELS KNOCK

By

Janice Barrett

I wake up aware that I’m on display. There are no tracks in the ceiling for curtains to be drawn around my bed like most hospitals. I want to stick my thumbs into my ears and wiggle my fingers saying, “booga booga,” but know this is not the place or time. These people will not have a sense of humour. The white ceiling melts into bare white walls oozing an antiseptic smell. I know why I’m here. I went crazy. I felt the snap.

A crackly voice over a speaker announces, “Code White.”

I’m thirsty, but beside my bed the water bottle is empty.

“Code White.”

Built into the room is an office with a glass partition  where a nurse is standing. The mattress crinkles like plastic under the sheet when I roll out of the single bed, in a row of single beds. Walking up to the window, without saying anything, I slide my empty bottle through a circular hole in the middle of the glass and she, without saying anything, passes a full bottle back to me. I saw this once in a movie and I know I’m in lockdown. She is Nurse Ratched and I’m in my own sequel to “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.”

I don’t want to be crazy like my mother. Death was her escape. I don’t want my children to live with the on-edge fear I did. Afraid that something they will do or say will trigger a psychotic episode and make them feel responsible.

“Code White.”

Music replaces the crackly voice, and I think of mom’s favourite song and her sitting beside the record player for hours on end with me hoping I’m safe. I lived in that world of “if only” for too long.

If only I hadn’t wanted toast.

***

I was safe at high school when my name was called after the morning announcements to come down to the Principal’s office. Dad was there. He said mom isn’t “feeling well.” I hate those words, his code words for scary psychotic. And I have to go home to look after her.

Mom looks okay, hair and make-up done to perfection, listening to Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas.” But I never know when they will come, the voices in her head.

As long as the record plays, I’m safe. It’s her distraction from the voices. Five hours and still when the needle lifts off the vinyl, mom’s hand reaches across to replace it again.

I keep mom in sight in the livingroom when I go to the kitchen to make toast. The wooden door on the breadbox hangs lopsided, the hinges pulled out from the wood, the handle broken, a thin post lying on the countertop. Mom is watching me. I pretend I don’t notice the breadbox hoping then she won’t react.

The needle scratches across Elvis’s lyrics, and I’m sorry that I wanted toast.

She bolts out of her chair and I freeze when I see her hazel eyes bright with her demons.

“He’s coming back to kill me. The breadbox slammed down three times to warn me that your dad is going to kill me with a gun or knife,” Mom says. “Please don’t leave me. Your dad manipulates people, he controls them,” she screams.

The cords in her neck protrude and her lips stretch to a thin line to spit out her phobia. “We’re his puppets. He’s pulling the strings making us do things.

Hate etches her skin, pinching her nose, turning her hazel eyes into green, glowering slits. Numbed by fear, I can’t move, can’t speak, my body vibrating.

Mom’s hands are on my shoulder shaking me to make me understand her terror. Her fingers kneeding into my skin, nails digging viciously when she throws me up against the kitchen cupboard. My head pounds the wood and I hear a small crack before she slams my numb body against a cabinet shrieking, “You control people too. Who do you control? I want their names.”

I try to get away, but she thrusts me back, a pull handle on a drawer jabbing into my hip.

“Give me the names,” she yells, and hurls me backward onto the countertop. I gasp, gulping for air when she hammers her arm down across my chest. Her arm, a metal bar, that holds me down, while her boney elbow scores into my ribs. Her eyes are as terrified as mine. Her weight crushes me as she opens the knife drawer by my left hip. The sound of metal blades clang while Elvis croons, “without you.” And I am frozen.

 

Stay tuned for the next installment.

 

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Cathy T, Pituitary Bio

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Hi! My name is Cathy Tia. I’m 27 yrs old and was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease 6 yrs ago while doing my first year of an education degree. I had worked in the fitness industry at that stage for 5 years and was fit and healthy but as soon as I started to fall asleep at the wheel driving into varity. I thought something was wrong symptoms persisted and weight gain fatigue, sweats, acne no periods. The list goes on, started to get out of control.

I went to a endo and she did some tests on my bloods and was shocked that my cortisol levels were in the thousands then we did some 24hr urine tests and they were as high as 3000. After nothing showed up on the MRI scan we did the petrosal sampling and it showed the source from coming from my pituitary gland so I then went to hospital for them to have a look at my pituitary gland they saw no visible tumour and that was that I then was put on a course of drugs as I kept going into adrenal failure where my cortisol levels were as low as minus 10 so no wonder I was in agony and feeling like I was going mentally insane. My weight dropped to 48kgs at the time of low cortisol, then my body changed again weighing in at 70’ish kgs.

I started to get heart palpitations and was exercising so much I nearly dropped dead but nothing I did seemed to help the weigh loss. My cortisol was tested again and again it was high, I went on a block regime to mimic what it would be like to have no adrenals before the trauma of the surgery well as I expected they didn’t bring down the cortisol in fact it increased. I went off all drugs as they made me feel so sick and I couldn’t even hold a job because of no energy etc.

Now 2 yrs later it is back with a vengeance and again there was talk of removing my adrenal glands but I refuse as the pills didn’t work so why would the surgery again? I said I would try the drugs. I have been on them 4 months and my levels which are meant to decrease have gone from 284 this week to 1225. My endo is at her wits end I’m going back to the hospital on Wed but I feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel as I feel we have exhausted all my options.

I’m newly married only 9 months ago I have the most supportive wonderful husband but feel bad for him as we can’t conceive and do normal things young married couple do as I’m always tired and hate going anywhere because of my appearance. If anyone has any answers out there or just words of support I would love to hear from you.

cheers, Cathy ‘mad’ Tia ( at least I feel mad)!!!!!!!!!!

Update Monday June 30, 2003:

Hi. Well, I have had more tests and yes they confirm that my Cushing’s disease is pituitary based, I had an MRI scan last night so we will wait and see if there is any visible change from the one I had done 4 years ago, then from there surgery.

I am gaining more weight and my skin is full of acne even though I’m on an antibiotic and the pill to help it, My periods have stopped even though I’m on the pill and the hair on my face and body is really embarrassing. I have totally lost confidence in myself and any situation I feel is stressful even paying the bills is an effort.

My diet is still very strict only protein and I try and walk and do weights everyday but I feel I’m losing the battle. I hate the waiting for results I just want them to hurry up so I know what my options are start them and get on with life!!!!!!

Frustrated Cathy ‘mad’ Tia (at least I feel mad).

Update Wednesday July 9, 2003:

As you all know I went for an MRI scan last Monday and the Monday just gone I recieved the news I had a 7mm tumour on the left side of my pituitary gland which means removal of that left side, I’m relieved after 6 years of cyclical Cushing’s there is something to show for it at the same time I’m terrified not only about the surgery but all the after effects the drugs the quality of life after this terrible disease!!!!!,

My husband and I are have amazing faith and support from family and friends but it is still such a roller coaster ride we are only 27 years old and have been married for 10 months we don’t know if we will ever have children which is so important for us. We don’t know where life will take us but we do and have accepted this is for a reason god works in mysterious ways so please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we do for all you fellow Cushing’s patients out there what ever the stage of disease you are at, never ever give up be strong.

cheers, Cathy Tia from little old New Zealand.

Update August 3, 2003:

Hi everyone well it is now the 3rd of August 2003 and I am going to the hospital on Tuesday here in little old New Zealand, to have a meeting with the brain surgeon to go through the procedure. They have found a pit tumor on the left side of my gland and need to remove the whole side. Wow, pretty scary but at least I’ll feel better after 6 yrs of not such great health.

I’m excited about my future and hopefully my husband and I can start our lifes together with children in the future, I’ll write on Tuesday night to tell of my surgery date, if I get one.

Keep the faith, everyone. There is always hope we are the strong ones what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger! Feel free to email me on cathyscurves@hotmail.com.

Update August 22, 2003:

Hi everyone well I haven’t written in a while as you know the hospital systems are slow at getting things moving. As you know a tumour was found on the last MRI but now they think there is more to it so Monday 24th August, tomorrow, I’m going for another CT scan then surgery although I don’t have a date for surgery. I’m hoping it will be in the next month because I want to be out of hospital to share my 1st year wedding anniversary with my wonderful husband my angel here on earth at home not in hospital. I’ll keep you all updated this week for the next chapter.

Hang in there everyone. Remember, if we all stick together and send love through our thoughts we will beat this thing!!! please email me anyone if you want to talk I know I’m down here in little old New Zealand but don’t hesitate.

Update September 15, 2003:

Hi everyone it’s Cathy here agin from little old New Zeland, I finally have a surgery date it is on the 15th of October one month away it’s been a long wait but now I know the date I can plan my life!!!! I should be fighting fit for xmas day that was my goal so My husband and I can plan a holiday a family and get back into full time work. I’m so excited.

Hang in there everyone and please send your prayers and happy vibes my way on the 15th
cheers Cathy ‘mad’ Tia

Update October 10, 2003:

Hi everyone. Well, only 4 more sleeps to go until my 2nd pit surgery. Let’s hope they get the bugger this time. I’ll update you all as soon as I can focus on the computer screen
cheers Cathy

Update October 27, 2003:

Hi everyone! Well, it’s 2 weeks tomorrow post op. I’ve been home 1 week and recovering well, things went to plan as you all know the discomfort only last 3-4 days and my cortisol is dropping which is so positive. We will know for sure in a month. I’m hoping it comes down and stays down so we know I’ve been cured. I’ve already lost 2kg’s and the high colour in my face has gone down my joints are not as sore and my acne is clearing up. I can’t believe in 2 weeks. I’m already looking better. I ask you all to keep praying and sending happy healthy thoughts and vibes my way as you all know this is just the beginning as it is such a reecurrent disease. I really want to avoid having my adrenals out which they will do asap if my cortisol doesn’t stay down. They say this is the only way for sure to cure Cushing’s disease.

But I send hugs and kisses to you all and anyone whos going to have pitaitary surgery either for the 1st time or 2nd don’t worry just relax and go with it rest and recover as much as possible then get your life back please feel free to write to me my email is in this bio.
cheers Cathy ‘Mad’ Tia

Update November 26, 2003:

Hi all, well it is 6 weeks today since my second pituitary surgery, I developed diabetes insipidous but that has gone now hooray no more peeing every 2 minutes, ha, ha.

Well the last 2 blood cortisols were high again so I’m really bummed out the first 3 weeks after surgery it seemed to be on the way down and I lost 5 kg’s I was elated, but now the symptoms have returned the tiredness puffiness etc and I’m not even on any replacements I haven’t had a period so it looks like the adrenals will have to be removed bummer!, I have just completed a 24hr urine collection so the results should be in early next week everything hinges on this result if it is high they are taking me straight back in for the double adrenalectomy if anyone has any suggestions or has had the same experience please email me I feel depressed again just as I thought I had my life back on track.
kind regards Cathy ‘Mad’ Tia

Update December 4, 2003:

Hi everyone me again, well unfortunatley my cortisol is high again after 6 weeks post op so I am booked in to see another surgeon next Wednesday to talk through the procedure of a bilateraladrenelectomy (what a mouthfull), could anyone who has had this done please email me as I’m terrified and want to know what to expect in regards to recovery time, sickness, etc

keep your chins up

talk to you when I have more gossip
Cathy ‘Mad’ Tia

Update January 29, 2004:

Hi all well happy new year to you all. I have a CT scan date on Feb 16th of my adrenal glands then surgery will follow hopefully soon after that I’m scared and would love to hear from others who have had their adrenals out because I’ve heard some horror stories, please email me.

I have had an interview with a local magazine that goes out to the nation telling my story and journey with Cushings disease it was fun my husband and I have had photos etc I will post it when it comes out next week I just want others to be more knowledglable and perhaps people may come forward and talk to me if they suspect they may have it.

I would love to set up a support group in New Zealand because there is no one I can talk to here.

Well I’ll talk to you all soon and please email me if you have any words of encourgement.
God bless Cathy ‘Mad’ Tia

Update February 3, 2004:

Hi all! Well, I have more exciting news from the magazine article that has only been out two days. I have been asked to go on a morning talk show televised across New Zealand to talk about the disease and my story and have already recieved emails from others in NZ that have been cured. It is so positive it makes me want to get on and move forward to help others when I’m finally cured hooray! I’ll update soon when I’ve been on TV.

God is good god bless you all Cathy ‘Mad’ Tia

Update March 30, 2004:

Hi guys. Well I finally have a date for my adrenal surgery. 2 failed pit surgeries so here is their last ditch attempt to cure me hooray!

It is scheduled for the 15th of April 2 weeks time so I’ll get back to you as soon  as I’m up to it, please pray for me as this is the final time hopefully then I’ll be rid of this nasty disease.  I would love you guys to email me whoever has had the adrenals removed to tell me the good and bad things during recovery so I’m prepared.
cheers everyone and hang in there.

hugs cathy ‘mad’ tia

Update April 29, 2004:

Hi everyone. I’m back it’s 2 weeks today since my surgery the removal of both adrenal glands. I feel I’ve been to hell and back over the last 7 years but I’ve come out on top I’m sore and bruised but feeling the best mentally and emotionally the best in almost a decade. I’m on a normal dose of hydrocortisone which understand the average person produces and have already seen marked changes in my appearance like redness had gone, night sweats aches nausea are all gone in only 2 weeks so I’m looking forward to getting my body back.

Thank you all for your support and I will keep you updated as to my situation. You all must hang in there and fight fight fight! Your day will come in those dark days of despair never give up tommorow is always better and you don’t want to let this disease win you can do it.

Update July 3, 2004:

Hi everyone well it’s been ages since I wrote I have had both adrenals out and finally I feel normal most of the Cushing’s symptoms have gone and the old Cathy is slowly emerging it is nearly 3 months since surgery and I have lost 9kgs and am looking not so tired and puffy hooray when people ask how I’ve lost the weight I say I’m on a cortisol diet which they laugh and don’t understand but I know you all do.

Well if any of you are scared to have this surgery don’t be they do it all keyhole so it’s neat and tide and it has changed my life I feel like a near normal 28 yr old who can restart her life my husband and I are so happy we have been given a 2 year gap to try for a family before radiation to the pit gland to avoid Nelson’s Syndrome so it’s not over yet but I believe it will be all worth it soon.

Well take care all hold your heads up high and be strong.

Update September 26, 2004:

Hi it’s Cathy Tia here again, well my husband and i have just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary cushing free hooray!! IT IS A BLESSING TO HAVE MY HEALTH BACK. It has been five months since my adrenal surgery and have had one adrenal crisis due to an underlying viris which was a bit scary i was in hospital for 5 days being pumped full of hydrocortisone ironic really after 8 yrs of having too much oh well, i’m back and working full 3 different jobs and loving life. All of you out theree still waiting to be cured please hang in there it is so worth it you will never take life for granted again.

God bless to you all and please never give up.

Update January 31, 2005:

hi all well a little update to my story. It has now been 9 months since i have my adrenal glands removed i have lost 27kg’s and people are starting to recognise me again all of the symptoms are gone i now have addisions disease as my adrenals can shut down the meds i take are cortisone and hydrocortisone to help with balancing my hormones out. I have had one adrenal crisis but recovered well. Peter my husband and i are on the fertility track now i am on fertility drugs to hopefully bring us a little bundle of joy this yr i also have PSCO so having a baby is a challenge but i know God will bless us when the time is right. I am working again like a normal person and can get through the day without a sleep.

Life is great. To all of you in the beginning, midst or end recovery phase of this terrible disease please always have hope and determination, remember you are what you believe so keep positive.

God Bless Cathy ‘mad’ Tia

Update January 31, 2006:

Hi all well it’s beena yr since I wrote. Alot has happened for my husband and I. Last time I wrote we were embarking on a huge rollercoaster ride with IVF fertility treatment and guess what we have had two cycles and the second one worked like a dream. We were given 15% chance of ever getting pregnant with the trteatment so we are proof that doctors only know so much with much gusto determination prayer and support from family and friends we did it we are now 3 and a half months pregnant due August 10th 2006. We feel so blessed and want to let you all know this can happen for you keep the faith and search inside yoiurself about what your life is worth this disease is only a label not who you are, seek and you will find the answers even if it has taken yrs it’s taken me 10yrs of being sick surgeries lost hope and regained faith. God has a plan for all of us and now I’m going to be a mum i can hardly believe the blessings.

I have had 2 trips to the emergency ward with adrenal crisis being pregnant does put stress on the body so now i have altered my drtugs i feel great i have only had 2 weeks of morning sickness and noew i have full energy back and only get tired like anyone at the end of a day. I ahd emergency surgery last week for an abcess caused by mastitis even though i haven’ breast feed they tink because my immunity is lowered by having no adreanl glands it wa so serious.

In my mind I know i always have to be careful but my advice to eveyone is live each day like it is your last be knind and never stop loveing or giving because it will come back in ten folds as it has for me.

God Bless and kind regards to all my fellow cushies, families and supporters.

Hugs cathy tia

Update October 25, 2006:

Hi cathy Tia here from New Zealand last time i was trying to concieve through IVF and we did it we have had a beautiful baby girl Grace Ruby weighing 6 pounds 13 ozes 3 weeks early all is grand with all of us healthy and loving being a family. Keep the faith and hope if you believe with your heart your dreams will come true.

cathy tia

Update February 22, 2007:

hi 22/2/07 cathy here agin

i now have another new 5mm tumour on the right side of pit gland due to having nelsons sydrome after nearly 3 yrs ago having boyth adrenals removed

any suggestions on what to do? they want to give me radation. has anyone had this?

cheers cathy

Update May 3, 2007:

hi all well my daughter is now 9 months old , I mde the decision to havea breast re3euction last week and am so thrilled with the results the 12 yrs of cuhsings and three yrs of addsions (removal of glands due to recureent cushings) ravished my body i feel young again and sexy hooray for my husband!!!

I had a very scary time this week though due to the stress of the surgery on my body my addisions played up big time and i ended up in Er twice having cortisol shots and saline to give me balance, i’m still very tannedyellow and can’t seem to get on top of the balance but feel better than last week.

Has anyody experience addisions after cuahings?, i’d love to hear from you and ask how you mmagae your balances of medications and water balance.

until next time,

Hugs feloow cushies/addisions

Cathy Tia

Update September 17, 2009:

hi all well its been a while my daughter is now 3 and i have a beautiful miracle son called Elijah who is now 6 months old , i ahve had a great run since having my adrenals removed and had the breast reduction i’,m even breast feeding a real miracle and testament that if you have hope you can achieve anything. i ahve had many talks to churches and articles written to educate people in New Zealand and hope to give them hope whatever their circumstances.

unfortunatly i may ahve developed nelsons syndrome so am having an MRI in 2 weeks to see what the pituatary tumour is doing if it has grown i’ll have radiation to shrink it.

hope this finds you all well.

God Bess Cathy Tia

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Christine G, Pituitary Bio

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It took approximately 6 years for me to be diagnosed with Cushing’s Disease. I have had many unrelated illnesses up to that point, Congestive Heart Failure, FMD, Gallbladder Removed, problems with vision, high blood pressure, weight gain, problems with balance and more.

No doctor could figure out why the weight gain only in my belly. All were prescribing different diets.

My husband and I were on vacation for a month in Florida every morning and afternoon I would walk on the beach 3 miles each time and my belly kept getting bigger???? My husband saw an article on excessive cortisol and how it was a stress hormone and that excessive cortisol expanded your belly!

My daughter had a friend who was an endocrinologist, I made an appointment to see him when we got home. At first sight the doctor said I do not believe you have “it” but to appease you I will test you. To this day I do not believe he would have tested me if he was not friends with my daughter. I did not have any of the typical signs. Non of us is textbook, we are all individuals.

To the doctors surprise testing came back positive for Cushing’s Disease the doctor said that he would have to send you to someone more familiar with Cushing’s and he sent me to Mass General. I met with a Dr. Tritos who once again said I did not have the typical signs and I was retested. Yup it was Cushing’s. I met with a nurosurgeon at Mass General, Dr. Sweringen, who had extensive experience in Cushing’s surgeries.

My insurance company denied my out of network coverage. I saw a few doctor’s locally and did not feel comfortable with any local surgeons because of the lack of surgical experience with Cushing’s Disease. I began my battle with the insurance to have the out of network covered. I was first rejected by the insurance company, I then appealed with Maximus (second step in process) and was rejected. During this time my health was deteriorating, I had double vision and could no longer drive, I needed to hold onto someone to walk because I had become so unsteady. My family was worried because they had read that the longer you waited for surgery chances were less likely for a full recovery. My daughter gave me the money for the surgery which I had at Mass General on November 16, 2016 by Dr. Sweringen, who is fantastic! I had successful Pit surgery.

After surgery I continued my pursuit in getting the money back. I went to the next level, the applet judge……This time I won, with the help of my local endocrinologist, Dr. Busch and documented proof of Dr. Sweringens exceptional expertise in Pituitary Surgery.

Now almost 10 months later, I am very surprised that I still have muscle weakness and joint pain. When I mention this to doctors they do not believe it is Cushing’s related, even though when you go to the Cushing’s Facebook support group people mention this. I am wondering how many others have this problem 10 months post op. I still have trouble getting out of a chair.
What is so sad you are not told about the post op obstacles you will face.

I think that all of us facing this disease have to give ourselves credit for the strength we have and have to continue having to battle this disease, and to appreciate our support of family and friends.

 

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In Memory: Cassandra Dills-Dailey ~ August 29, 2017

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Casey Dailey, age 38, was fighting Cushing’s disease, a pituitary gland disorder often caused by a tumor creating excess cortisol. She had surgery Aug. 23 and went home the next day. Over the following weekend, she began feeling sick. She vomited, sometimes with blood. Then, she couldn’t stand or talk, relatives said. A high fever started Sunday, after floodwaters surrounded her home, and she became unresponsive.

In the midst of Hurricane Harvey, one family’s cry for help was particularly acute. It was a medical emergency.

Casey Dailey was recovering from surgery at home and needed an ambulance on Aug. 27.

But floodwaters had reached the doorstep of her northeast Harris County home between Greens Bayou and Sheldon Lake.

Her husband, Wayne Dailey, frantically called 911 that afternoon. The line was busy. He dialed more than two dozen times and got through. Help was on the way, he was told, but no one showed up that day or the next.

“That’s when I went to social media,” said Darlene Zavertnik, Wayne’s mother, who lives in Montgomery County. “I went on Facebook and put together a letter.”

Friends and relatives began sharing the post. A cousin called volunteers while Wayne tried 911 one more time and asked for an air rescue. He was told that they were already on the list.

“You don’t understand. She’s dying,” Wayne Dailey recalls saying.

Feeling completely hopeless, he saw some people trolling in a boat just after noon on Aug. 29. Wayne ran out in the water to flag them down. The crew turned out to be the famous civilian volunteers from Louisiana’s Cajun country.

“They came to the house and they got her in that boat,” Zavertnik said.

The Cajun Navy transported Casey Dailey to an airboat. From there, she was loaded onto a dump truck. Confusion about emergency medical sites led to a stop on the side of the road, which is when she stopped breathing, relatives said. An ambulance finally arrived and paramedics worked on her 15 to 20 minutes.

“They got her to the hospital and they just could not …” Zavertnik said, her voice trailing off into sobbing. “We just don’t want anything like this to happen to anybody like her again. There has to be a much better system for this.”

The Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences recorded 4 p.m. Aug. 29 as the time and date of Cassandra Dills-Dailey’s death at a Humble emergency room. One week later, the cause and manner remains pending. She is not listed among the institute’s storm-related deaths, which all involve drowning or electrocution in floodwaters.

Casey Dailey was 38. The devoted mother had two sons, 14-year-old Luke and Ronnie, 10. She homeschooled the oldest.

She also reached out with kind gestures, such as crocheting baby blankets for strangers who were expecting.

“She was probably one of the sweetest, most loving people you’d know,” Zavertnik said. “She was just always wanting to do what she could to help people, make them happy and make them feel good. She was very special.”

Adapted from http://m.chron.com/about/article/Mother-of-2-dies-in-Harvey-during-medical-12175042.php#photo-14053540

In Memory: Kalyn Allen, June 28, 2017

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We lost another Cushie sister today. Kalyn Allen’s husband posted this on Facebook:

This afternoon my beautiful wife and mother of my children completed her path in this life so that she may be reborn again into the next. She was surrounded by her children, family, and friends when she transitioned very peacefully. She now is free to be reborn again and continue the cycle of life to hope one day to reach nirvana. While we will morn her passing our attachments to this world of suffering and rebirth are what bring us back over and over. So let us not mourn a loss today but say good luck in the next. For we are full of desire for this world and we will surely meet again.

Yesterday he posted:

Kalyn is in critical condition in the CV-ICU at St. John’s in Tulsa in a medically induced coma due to pulmonary embolisms in her lungs and thrombosis in her legs. She had a procedure last night to install a VC fiter and to remove as many clots as possible in her lungs. They cant use tPA to dissolve the clots without a great risk of bleeds in the previous brain surgery. Today was difficult. Kalyn had a cardiac event and coded for a few minutes this afternoon. They quickly resuscitated her with only 2 sets of chest compressions but at this point we are unsure why it happened. She stabilized very quickly afterwards with good rhythm and pressure. A blood clot may have temporary blocked something. She is still being kept sedated and intubated and they can’t move her yet to to do anymore scans and at this point they would not be able to use contrast due to the stress on her kidneys. At this point we are still just touch and go. Because she is in ICU you can not send flowers and if you would please ask a family member if there is an appropriate time to visit. Instead of flowers we are still in need of funds as the children and I are having to make daily trips into tulsa and back home each night and the cost of meals while we are there so any donations would be helpful. Thank you everyone for your kind words of support.

Kalyn’s story from https://www.youcaring.com/kalynallen-786017:

My name is Kalyn I am 41 years old. I am married and have three children. In Nov ‘16 I was diagnosed with Cushing’s Disease.

My journey began in June ‘16 when I attended a health screening provided by my employer. It was discovered that my blood pressure was dangerously high and I was sent to my physician. I was prescribed blood pressure medicine. A couple of weeks later I joined a wellness program to turn around my exercise and eating habits in hopes that it would help me lose weight and lower my blood pressure.

Over the next few months I was seen by my physician numerous times. I was beginning to have strange symptoms. I was easily bruising. Dark purple stretch marks started to appear out of nowhere. I had hair loss on my head but excessive hair growth on my face. My ankles and hands swelled along with a loss of muscle mass in my legs, horrible acne and a shortness of breath. While my physician tried several different medications they were not alleviating my symptoms. At this point I was having trouble getting in and out of my car and the shower. I also started seeing a therapist because the excess hormones in my system were causing uncontrollable mood swings. During this time I was exercising and following the wellness program losing 52 pounds from June until the end of Oct. But there were still issues controlling my blood pressure. It was at this point that my physician referred me to an endocrinologist.

The endocrinologist ordered a multitude of tests to measure my cortisol levels as Cushing’s disease was suspected. To be thorough an MRI was ordered of my brain to see if they could find a tumor on my pituitary gland. This was done at the end of Dec. It was discovered that I had a 3.7 millimeter tumor on my pituitary gland. From there I was referred to a brain surgeon.

My condition continues to deteriorate as I am experiencing extreme fatigue, intense muscle and joint pain while having excruciating headaches almost everyday. Among other agonizing symptoms that complicate the situation.

I now have surgery scheduled for the first week of May ’17 to remove the tumor. I will be in the hospital for 3-7 days and my recovery time will be from 6-8 weeks. I will have to travel hours away to have the surgery and remain there during my stay in the hospital. My parents will be by my side during surgery. But unfortunately my children and husband will not be able to accompany me due to the expense and not being able to leave our farm animals unattended for that long.

During this time away from work I will be on short term disability. My employers short term disability plan only covers 80% of my wages during this time. This will result in my family undergoing a financial hardship as my husband and parents undertake the task of my care during recovery and attempting to cover the missing 20% plus extra expenses such as medicines and doctors appointments.

I am asking for your compassion and support to help my family and I through these trying times. This journey has been a roller coaster of emotions and physical pain for myself and my family. My Mother has been such a rock for me listening to me complain and cry. My Father has also been there for me always willing to talk and making me smile and laugh even if I didn’t feel like it. My Husband has taken over so much responsibility that was mine. And my children are always willing to help me out with the little things. It is frustrating going from being very active and able to do so many things I love to now only being able to go into the office to work several days a week and the rest of the week working from home doing little else because of the pain and the fatigue. I just want to get back to normal.

Update 5/3/17:

Kalyn’s surgery was very successful and the doctors said they where able to see and remove the tumor only taking 40% of her pituitary gland. She is in recovery now and will be in the hospital for the remainder of the week. She would like to thank everyone for their continuing support over the next few months while she recovers.

Update 5/4/17:

We got some bad news today. After removing the tumor along with 40% of Kalyn’s pituitary gland, her cortisol levels are still high, meaning there is still something else causing her cushings. So we are back to square one. Now we wait to see what the surgeons and the endocrinologists came up with. She is still in a lot of pain and exhausted because it is hard to sleep with all the packing in her sinuses. With this news she will probably have to stay in the hospital longer and may have to have another surgery to remove the rest of her pituitary if they can’t find anything else. The Dr’s may order a PET/CT scan to look other places for tumors but that may take up to 48 hours to get access to the machine.

Update 5/8/17:

Kalyn went in for a PET/CT scan this morning at 6:45 to look for any other tumors or cancer that could be causing the Cushing’s disease. Baring the scan finding anything, later this week the surgical team will go back in and remove the remainder of her pituitary gland. This will result in her being required to be on several medications the rest of her life. While removing the pituitary should solve the Cushing’s it opens the door to increased risk of complications and additional heath problems in the future. She will have to stay in the hospital much longer then anticipated and may have a longer recovery time. The children and husband where able go to OKC on Saturday to visited with her in ICU. This was the first time we have been able to see here in a week besides video chats. They spent several hours together and everyone enjoyed the short time with mom. Thank you Bob Eden for driving the family to OKC and for the pizza lunch everyone enjoyed. Kalyn remains optimistic and in high spirits considering the circumstances. She enjoys and appreciates all the kind words and support she has received though this difficult ordeal. The results of the PET/CT scan should come back quickly and we hope to not have to deliver any more bad news. This ordeal has been very stressful for her and the family and we are hoping for a favorable resolution soon. Kalyn and the family thank you for your continuing support and donations.

Update 6/26/17:

Kalyn is in critical condition in the CV-ICU at (hospital ommited) in Tulsa in a medically induced coma due to pulmonary embolisms in her lungs and thrombosis in her legs. She had a procedure last night to install a VC fiter and to remove as many clots as possible in her lungs. They cant use tPA to dissolve the clots without a great risk of bleeds in the previous brain surgery. Today was difficult. Kalyn had a cardiac event and coded for a few minutes this afternoon. They quickly resuscitated her with only 2 sets of chest compressions but at this point we are unsure why it happened. She stabilized very quickly afterwards with good rhythm and pressure. A blood clot may have temporary blocked something. She is still being kept sedated and intubated and they can’t move her yet to to do anymore scans and at this point they would not be able to use contrast due to the stress on her kidneys. At this point we are still just touch and go.Because she is in ICU you can not send flowers and if you would please ask a family member if there is an appropriate time to visit. Instead of flowers we are still in need of funds as the children and husband are having to make daily trips into Tulsa and back home each night and the cost of meals while we are there so any donations would be helpful. Thank you everyone for your kind words of support.

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