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Crystal (Crystal), Pituitary Bio

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Hi, my name is Crystal and I’m new. I’m a 35 yr.old mother of a 5 yr. old with more energy in her little pinky than I have in an entire day and I’m married to an amazing man, who makes living with this possible.

I was finally diagnosed with Cushing’s Disease (excreting pituitary tumor). In April 2017. I had the typical doctor who didn’t believe me so I took it into my own hands and figured out what I thought was going on….Cushings without a doubt in my mind.

So I went to a naturopath and asked her to order me a 24 hr. urine test and when she got it she said I need to go to an endo asap. I had already made appointments with two, one being at OHSU in Oregon with one of the best pit. teams in the US. I only live 2 hrs. away and am sooo lucky for that. I know many people have to travel much further to get the best healthcare for this.

Anyways, the endo I saw in Portland looked at me and immediately and said I had a very cushoid appearance and that we needed to do about 6 tests in the next two weeks. I did the tests, then had to do an MRI, which showed a 5×4 tumor in my pituitary gland, next was an IPSS to make sure it was 100% pituitary and not ectopic coming from somewhere else in my body. Once this was all confirmed I was scheduled for surgery in June.

As my surgery date approached, my symptoms got significantly worse and I finally called my endo to tell them. The nurse told me I had to deal with it until surgery and that there was nothing tI could do about my symptoms. Within 5 minutes of hanging up the assistant to the neurosurgeon called and told me surgery was being moved to the following week which was four days away. I had the transsphenoidal surgery about 6 weeks ago and my cortisol dropped to 0.6 in less than 24 hours after surgery. The neurosurgeon said I was technically in remission and although I’m happy, it seems to good to be true after the last couple years I’ve had. I came to this site looking for information on recovery. I know everyone is different and I was warned a little bit about it, but I’m pretty miserable and very curious how others recoveries are going.

Thanks, glad to be here. Crystal

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Suzanne (Suzanna), Undiagnosed Bio

1 Comment

Hi all,
Looking for some knowledge as I feel like my GP had been really unhelpful over this.

So I went to see him for some infected bites a few weeks ago. It’s really difficult to get an appointment with him so while I was there I figured I would mention my water retention. I’ve suffered with this on and off all my life (I’m 35) but lately it’s been a lot worse. I suspect my contraceptive pill, it’s called Yasmin (Yaz) and I’ve only been taking this particular one for about 18 months.

He sent me for a full blood MOT (vintamns, full blood count, liver function, thyroid, iron, etc etc, there were about 10 altogether).
The results of these came back and all were fine except the Cortisol level. I knew what this was because I’m a dog trainer/behaviourist and in dogs, Cortisol is referred to as the stress hormone. GP said a normal morning level was between about 166-507….mine came back as 1023!

He ordered a repeat Cortisol blood test and a 24 hour urine test. I’m still waiting on the results of the urine test but the second bloods came back yesterday at a level of 798. Obviously still very high, although lower than the first time. He says it’s likely I have Cushings. Cue massive panic as Cushings is very common in dogd and I have cared for a lot with it and it really isn’t very pleasant in dogs 😦

GP says it’s caused by a tumour and I will have to have medication and/or an MRI scan and possibly brain surgery. I seriously do not fancy this when my only complaint is water retention!!

I do have quite a busy life, I work as a dog trainer and also run around after a five year old. I’m a naturally stressy person too, and worry excessively about things that don’t really need to be worried about.

My GP, when asked whether this could be caused by my pill, said no. But the other symptoms I get with this pill are occasional heart palpitations, mood swings, a feeling of buzzing sometimes, like adrenaline is coursing through me (I’ve always thought it was the estrogen?!) and increased appetite for sweet things and wanting to eat junk all the time.

My Herbalist is almost certain this pill is causing my hormone problems and is responsible for the high Cortisol levels. So I’ve decided to stop taking it for a couple of months and ask for a repeat test and see if it has made any difference. My Herbalist has also recommended Hemaplex and something called Ashwanganda.

My GP’s current plan of action is ‘wait for the 24 hour urine test results and then refer to one hormone specialist or another’.
Does anyone have a similar experience that could help me? Many thanks in advance 🙂

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Elizabeth, Pituitary/Adrenal Bio

2 Comments

golden-oldie

 

Originally posted September 24, 2008

Hi my name is Elizabeth (Liz or Lisa). I am a 32 year old who has possible cushings. In October of 2005 I was diagnosised with an adrenal tumor on my left adrenal gland. At the time I contacted my PCP to get a referral to an Endo doc. I was then seen by an endo doc who had ran some tests to meassure my cortisol levels which, of course, came back normal.

I then continued to gain more and more weight and was getting more and more stretch marks as well as facial hair. I have suffered from headaches for years and had begun to suffer from extreme fatigue and body/limb weakness.

This time last year my mom was reading a Weight Watchers magazine and read a story from a lady that had the same signs. She thought that she was gaining weight and getting stretch marks due to a pregnancy but had a hard time believing thats all it was. So this lady went to a specialist and they tested her for cushings and ended up finding out that’s what she had and of course the tumor. They performed the surgery to remove her gland and she immediately lost 20 lbs and felt so much better. So my mom and I began to research this disease online and discovered that this sounded exactly what I have and was going through.

I then took this information to my endo who began testing me more and more. We had finally found an elevated reading of cortisol from my urine in December 2007. He then send me for a MRI to rule out the pituitary tumor in January 2008. With surprise to everyone, I ended up having a pituitary tumor as well.

At this time, my doc decided to send me to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to see a Cushings specialist. With a lot of time and money, the doc at the Mayo advised that he was unable to diagnosis cushings based off of one elevated reading. None of the tests that were performed at the mayo clinic came back elevated. I then went home in tears and disappointment. I have been continuing to go through 24 hour urine testing and pretty much everything else and no luck but just 1 more elevated reading.

This has been one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through in my life. I used to weigh 125-135 lbs and had a beautiful body and such confidence in myself. Now, I am almost 100 lbs more and have a body that is a cross between a zebra and railroad tracks with facial hair like a man. My mental health has gone completely down the drain and I am on the verge of tears everyday all day long. My dating life has gone from having someone in my life for years to nothing due to my moods and self confidence. There are times that I feel like I am going to loose it. Like I just can’t take this any more. I try my very best to watch my diet and exercise and I still gain the weight.

My endo doc here at home just this week consulted with the doc at the mayo and they just can’t figure out why the readings aren’t coming back elevated. They definately say that my physical appearance is cushings. So we just continue to test and test until, hopefully, that day comes to end this horrible disease.

It has been so great to know that they are other people out there feeling and going through the same things as I am. It does help to know that I’m not the only one going crazy over this. With luck and prayers, hopefully the next time i am writing is to say that I have to go ahead for surgery. For everyone out there, try to keep positive thoughts!

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Lisa (Lisa), Undiagnosed Bio

1 Comment

undiagnosed4

 

44 yo female
have been overweight for a while
always fatigue, muscle aches, pain/joint all I related to weight
only history is hypothyroid been on synthroid since 15ish
recently had UTI that was resistant to lots of abx then developed a bronchitis to pneumonia
then the UTI came back was on prednisone at start of pneumonia for 14 days then developed pain in left side and arm cardiac negative and high blood pressure out of blue
been worked up for carcinoid syndrome – neg
VMA and metanephrine – Neg
Lupus – neg
they have no idea why bp so high all of sudden i have palp with it
always notice muscle weakness I never have any strength
extremities tingle at times
but face has had horrible red butterfly redness dr doesn’t like
now wants me to be worked for cushing going to do 24 urine tomorrow
but i have had ct scans of abd and chest and one ct angio of chest showed a tiny tiny adenoma on left adrenal gland the radiologist said so small that they may not even comment on it
i do have the fat in neck/ shoulder/back
i just feel off not myself almost shaky inside i have no desire to do any activity although i know i need to

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Annette S (Annette), Undiagnosed Bio

2 Comments

undiagnosed3

 

43 yr old female- trying to get diagnosed
I have about 41 out of 42 Cushing Symptoms
Have been diagnosed as insulin resistant and as of recent was told I am not insulin resistant
Have had one Dex Suppression test – negative and 2 – 24 hour urine negative
I am at a complete loss- Can I have Cushing’s and these test come back negative?

 

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Matthew C, Pituitary Bio

4 Comments

pituitary-location
Hello,
I am retired from the United States Army and currently work as a dispatcher for the Blue Springs School District. A few years ago I started to have extreme anxiety. Of course, I went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed an anti-depressants. After a few months the anxiety would resolve. Unfortunately, over the years it would come and go and last for many months each time.

During the summer of 2015, the anxiety returned with a vengeance. I went to a new psychiatrist and was again prescribed an anti-depressant. However, this time it did not work. So, we went through a number of them without success. I researched to see what physical manifestation may be making me feel the gut wrenching anxiety and insomnia. I discovered the wonderful hormone called – YES YOU GUESSED IT – cortisol.

I then learned that cortisol came from the small, but powerful adrenal glands. That lead me to Cushing’s Syndrome/Disease. However, every site that I went to said that Cushing’s was very rear and effected women more than men. After, many more months of suffering and failing at the anti-depressant experiment, I went to my primary doctor and requested a blood test to determine my cortisol levels. The test indicated I did have high morning plasma cortisol.

My doctor referred me to an endocrinologist. I made a crucial mistake when I went to see him. He asked me my history and I told him about the severe anxiety. That planted a seed in his brain that I was just suffering from a psychiatric disorder. Nevertheless, he did order the test (Plasma cortisol, saliva cortisol and 24-hour urine free cortisol). All the test came back with higher than normal cortisol, but he kept saying that I was having “false positives.”

This went on for a number of months and then he basically fired me as a patient. So, I go back to my primary doctor and he refers me to my second endocrinologist. Guess what the story turned out to go the same way. I was fired again as a patient.

Before I go on let me add a little to the story: I do not have any of the physical signs of high cortisol. Basically, I suffer from anxiety, insomnia, brain fog, cognitive impairment and constipation. So, in their defense I don’t look the part of a person suffering from Cushing’s.

My next attempt was with the Veterans Administration. My endocrinologist there did the same test and was convinced something was wrong. She ordered a Inferior Petrosal Sinus Sampling. Finally, a test that did confirm that I had Cushing’s Disease.

The surgery to remove the tumor was accomplished on 9 August, 2016. However, the surgery failed. The worst part is that my current endocrinologist feels that my test results are “false positives.” I must say the entire process has been frustrating at best.

I do have a radical plan in place with a endocrinologist overseas who has agreed to do the surgery that will cure my Cushing’s Disease once and for all. I call this the final solution. Yes, this is extreme but my symptoms are getting worse and I don’t feel like playing the game anymore.

In addition, my symptoms are getting worse as my blood pressure is getting higher and higher.

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Melissa, Pituitary Bio

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golden-oldie

 

From August 12, 2007

I am 32 yrs old. I started having sxs after my 3rd daughter. I started to have face numbness and weight gain after my hysterectomy in 2004. I have had depression since the birth of my daughter in 2003. I had face swelling on and off.

I had started a diet (Chicken, fish, turkey burger, veggies and rice) February 2007. High in protein and low in sodium. I had gained about 30-40 pds since my daughter but then again it was 3rd child. I had lost 24 pds, but was not loosing in my face, upper body and still looked 4 months pregnant after loosing weight. Within weeks I had hypertension, hair all over my face, swelling redness of face, headaches, etc. Ended up in the ER still with no diagnosis and everything related to stress.

I work at a OB/GYN as a medical assistant so I knew something was wrong. One of the doctors I work with kept saying I had Cushing’s Disease but I kept putting her off. I had read about it in school but wasn’t hearing it. I finally did a 24hr urine and to my surprise it was over 1100.

My life had changed since I was dx with this. I did the 5 day suppression twice, (lab messed up the first one). Did 2 MRI’s.

Finally in July 2007 they finally found it!!! I had surgery done July 18th. Still currently on medical leave. Surgery went so well no bruising on my “moon face”. Levels did not drop as expected next morning but ok. 2 days postoperative they did drop in 1/2. Yah!! I’m cured. Have felt pretty good, just tired. Two weeks did 24hr urine, blood work cortisol, and ACTH. Still producing all three. Repeated 1 week later less dexamethasone even. Guess what still producing all 3 but now increasing.

Doctor’s suggest I go off of the steroids now (no point of being on them) and we are going to do more testing. Possible ectopic has been suggested. The surgeon does not want to do radiation or removal due to my age.

I am ready to get on with my life now, and I am confused. I would love to hear from someone with any advise or just to have someone talk to who is going through this.

 

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Emily, Undiagnosed Bio

2 Comments

undiagnosed2

 

Hello, my name is Emily. A few months ago I was “diagnosed” with Cushings Syndrome as I had very high levels of cortisol.

I was sent to a ENDO Dr. & most tests came back saying I have it. But two tests, like the salvia midnight test said the high cortisol dropped a little bit at night which indicates I don’t have it, and the surpression pill test also dropped my cortisol level. But the 24hr urine test and regular blood tests at 8am (done severl times, on different days), says I have extremely high levels of cortisol, which “stumped” the Dr. In the same sentence he told me I have Cushings (on paper), but by looking at me, I don’t have it at all and would be the first case he’s ever seen that had Syndrome but don’t have the physical signs (eg., I don’t have purple stretch marks but have some white stretch marks on legs, I’m average slim build but just recently have gained some* belly midsection weight that I can’t loose, I have only some* facial chin hairs but not a lot yet).

I do have most other symptoms of Cushings including changes in menstrual cycles, night sweats, fatigue, anxiety for no reason and never had problem with that before, have fractured two ribs easily in the last year, weak muscles at times etc. In my initial blood work, it also showed I had no estrogen which the ENDO Dr. didn’t investigate.

My last phone call with ENDO; he basically said it appears I have it on paper, but not by looking at me and therefore his conclusion is I don’t have it, and nothing can be done at this time.

Have any of you on here experienced anything like this? I’m getting a second opinion at the Stanford Hosptial in the Bay Area of California, and driving a good 4 hours to get there. Hoping I get better results.

Also…I’m not a heavy drinker, don’t smoke, never had a problem in past of depression which can also lead to Cushings. I’m 33 years old and although usually healthy, I’ve been experiencing these symptoms for maybe 2 years?? Not as persistent until recently though. What got me to go see a general practioner to begin with was no menstrual cycle at all, or very irregular, nausea at times, night sweats, loosing some hair, breaking out on face, fatigue.

Any help or anyone that went through something similar & can help in knowing what to do, will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

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Julie B, Adrenal Bio

1 Comment

adrenal-medulla
Hello, 47 year old female with two adrenal adenomas. Gaining weight like crazy, feeling tired, can not sleep, pitting edema in legs, bruise easily, pain in side, back, joints….and many other things.
Frustrated….had two 1mg dex suppression test that both came back high levels of cortisol. Had two 24 hour urinary cortisol that came back fine. Now on my 3rd doctor as I keep getting refered out.

Having a 2 mg dex suppression test Monday along with saliva test which I have now read that with adrenal adenoma saliva test may come back negative.

Everything in my life is changing and I am tired of feeling bad along with how long the process is to get a diagnosis.

Any support and information would be greatly appreciated.

 

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Niamh (niamhiblog), Adrenal Bio

3 Comments

adrenal-medulla

Full link to my blog: https://niamhiblog.wordpress.com/

I will never forget the day my hair loss went from “God, don’t I leave a lot of hair around the apartment” to “F***!!!! ”. I’d always considered my hair as one of my best features, it was long, wavy, strong, shiny and I loved it! When I started to see handfuls coming out in the shower it was terrifying. I was like a chemotherapy patient, it was unstoppable and devastating. I saw up to three GPs (Family doctors) who all only seemed interested in the level of stress in my life. Not one of them really took me seriously, I did a couple of blood tests, out of my own persistence that something was wrong, but nothing jumped out of these results to my doctors. I kept being told that my hair was falling out because I was stressed but I was stressed because my hair was falling out!

To be fair, this was a particularly stressful time in my life. I had just finished a year working abroad, in Portugal, which I’d found very lonely and isolating. I’d just returned home to Cork but things didn’t pan out the way I had hoped they would on my return. I was living on my own and trying to reacclimatise to something which wasn’t the same. Around the week leading up to the extreme hair loss I’d found myself in a particularly stressful situation. After about two weeks the hair loss settled down from terrifying to worrying. Since no one seemed as bothered by it as I was, I let it take a back burner. The doctor told me it was normal, the hairdresser told me it was common, I fell into accepting that there wasn’t a problem.

Flash forward five months and I’m sitting in my bosses’ office for a meeting. I look down at my arm, both my arms are covered in purple spots. It’s not itchy. It looks like a rash. I run a glass over it. The spots don’t disappear. I let out a loud exhale “phew it’s not meningitis. I’m fine”. I go to carry on with the meeting. My boss is having absolutely none of it. She knows that whatever is on my arm is weird. So she bundles me into a taxi and sends me off to an urgent care clinic. Since I was working as a chemist at the time for a pharmaceutical company, the obvious questions were “were you in contact with any chemicals?”, “are you allergic to anything you’re working with?”. I knew I hadn’t been exposed to anything so I decided to tell the nurse about my hair loss. I can’t thank this woman enough for the next question she asked me. This was a moment, although I didn’t know it at the time, that went onto change my life. She asked me “has the shape of your face changed?” To this I went ABSOLUTELY!

I’d put on weight in the previous year. It had started when I was living in Portugal. I’d put it down to a diet of beer and white bread. I hadn’t known, but any friends who’d come to visit me had thought that I’d put on a very noticeable amount of weight in a very short time. But this hadn’t made sense to me. I was working out at least 5 days a week and even up to 7 days a week. I was lifting weights and getting weaker not stronger. My diet was excellent (except for the booze and cigarettes) but my face and middle just kept ballooning while my arms and legs were turning into sticks. My clothes weren’t fitting. I was ashamed of my face and belly. I wouldn’t let myself be photographed. I was disgusted by my own body.

So, this nurse spotted something which no one had spotted before. She believed me, she knew that something was wrong and she (along with my wonderful boss) started me along the road to diagnosis and recovery.

Next comes a tremendous mistake from me. My attitude of “era it will be grand” nearly ruined my life and landed me ill in a very serious way. If I’d done what I was supposed to do at this point my disease would have been diagnosed and treated before it started to run away, with me dragged along behind it. I know why I didn’t pursue diagnosis. I was lazy about doing the testing, the hair loss had calmed down, I still just thought I was fat and I didn’t realise how sick I was because I had so many symptoms which came on so gradually that they just became normal to me.

I had my first appointment with an endocrinologist in April 2015. Turns out she knew from one look at me what was wrong. She recommended a 24 hour urine test but I had to be at least 6 weeks off of oral contraceptives for the test. I went off the contraceptives but by the time the 6 weeks had passed I just didn’t bother. I didn’t want to carry around a pee bottle for the day and besides the hair loss had settled down and I wasn’t sick was I?

How did I not realise I was sick?

I’d almost gone bald
I was constantly covered in bruises for no reason which didn’t heal
I never got to the bottom of my strange rash
I was swimming in a constant brain fog
I couldn’t sleep at night but I was tired all day
I put all of my symptoms down to sessioning too hard, being hungover all the time and injuring myself when I was drunk.

That was until I woke up one morning at my friend’s house, admittedly after a night of drinking, without the use of my arms, legs or hands. I woke up really early in the bed with stiffness in my limbs. When I got out of bed my legs were no good to me. I dragged myself to the bathroom on my hands and knees and sat in the shower to wash myself. I went down the stairs on my bum, got into my car and tried to drive home to my mam’s house. It took me about an hour to do a 10 minute drive. I couldn’t get out of second gear because I couldn’t press the clutch, which was just as well because my right leg was no good for using the brakes. Once I got home, naturally I was a bit concerned but I’d loosened out after a bit of movement and strangely wasn’t all that bothered by my period of paralysis!

Once I walked in the back door of my house, with my mother behind me she spotted one of the oddest things! It was like someone had thrown a cup of coffee at the back of my head and it had dried on the back of my neck. At this stage my hair was so thin that the only way I wore it was in a bun at the back of my head. This strange staining was there for all the world to see! I’d no idea how long it had been there given it’s not a part of my body I spend much time looking at. Turns out it had been there about a week and I could even see it growing and spreading up into my hair line and around the front of my face.

Mam wanted me rushed to the emergency unit. I wasn’t so keen on that, so we compromised. It being a Saturday we went to the on call doctor. Now starts the saga of doctors prescribing me steroids, steroids and more steroids. Little did I know that my problem was having too much steroids. I hadn’t heard mention of the term “Cushings Syndrome”. Nobody had brought this up. I took the steroids I was prescribed. I went downhill. I wasn’t experiencing the paralysis but I was having horrendous joint pain. I would watch as my hands, elbows knees and ankles swelled to size of large oranges. I couldn’t use a pen with my swollen fingers. Stairs were a struggle with my swollen knees. I hobbled around like an old woman. I didn’t understand what was going on with my body. I was panicking. I went to my GP in Cork, she prescribed a higher dose of steroids. It was only worse I got. She prescribed higher doses of steroids again. I felt this doctor wasn’t helping me, she wasn’t listening to my concerns and her only idea was to keep upping my dose of corticosteroids. What a disaster!

Luckily, my aunt is a docotor in the major hospital in Cork. She got wind of my problems, pulled some strings and had me admitted to the acute care clinic in her hospital for the following day. This was the first of my “holidays to CUH” as I started to call them. Here I saw what I can only call a plethora of doctors. Consultants that take months to years to get appointments with were calling to check on me willy nilly. I saw emergency consultants, rheumatologists, dermatologists, radiologists and finally the endocrinologist. We were all working to the assumption that I had some strange sort of viral arthritis which was causing my joint pain and swelling.

face

It was here in hospital that someone got to the bottom of the strange coffee stain on the back of my neck. It was merely a fungal infection (tick off the symptom of persistent infections).

After having received a very stern talking to from the endrochronolgist I proceeded to do a battery of tests including 24 hour and 48 hour urine samples, dexamethasone 24 hour and 48 hour, several trips and “holidays to CUH” all culminating in a MRI to confirm that I had an adrenal tumour producing far and above the natural and required levels of cortisol. This was the answer to everything.

After my diagnosis I started reading up on the symptoms of Cushing’s Syndrome. I realised that I had every single symptom on the list. Things that I hadn’t even realised were wrong with me until I gave myself permission to be ill.

I had the stretch marks on my arms, sides and legs. I’d though these were from my weight gain but who gets stretch marks on their arms? Turns out my skin was so weak it was tearing.

The cognitive deficiencies. I am someone who had always prided themselves on their intelligence, ability to think on my feet, to understand things rather than learn them. I’d always been a high achiever. I’d noticed myself getting stupider. I would be looking at someone talking to me and I’d be trying to figure out what day of the week it was. I found holding a conversation extremely difficult and very stressful. I wasn’t able to engage with people.I wasn’t able to listen, concentrate or respond. My memory was non-existent. Trying to think was like trying to swim through a thick, gloopy soup. I had put this drop in mental ability down to the partying and finding out that maybe I wasn’t as capable as I thought I was in the working world.
Bio, Continued: The bruising. I was bruising my arm from putting my handbag on my shoulder. The purple dots were actually tiny bruises. My legs were constantly just purple. I couldn’t heal. I was doing so many blood tests that the skin on my arms was constantly purple and wouldn’t heal.

Lack of libido. What libido?!

Irregularities with my period. I wasn’t getting periods at all since I’d stopped using oral contraceptives. I knew I wasn’t pregnant, see the point above and thought that I was just skipping some periods.

Brittle bones. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 24.

Joint pain. I wasn’t able to bend my knees to get up or down stairs. My bedroom is three flights of stairs from the kitchen. More than once I ended up stranded in the kitchen, not able to get back upstairs to lie down on my bed and feel sorry for myself.

The swelling wasn’t confined to my joints. There were days my face was so swollen it was hard to see out my eyes as my cheeks inflated and rose to meet my brow bone.

Sleep. I’d turned into an insomniac who wandered the house late at night not awake enough to do something but still unable to sleep.

Body hair. I was managing to grow a beard despite going bald! I started to get my cheeks waxed thinking this was a normal cosmetic procedure that other girls just didn’t talk about.

Stress. The choice between two different types of cheese could cause me so much anguish as to leave me in tears.

Up until the point where I was diagnosed, I hadn’t allowed myself to be sick. After the diagnosis I never let myself feel sorry for myself. I just got on with it. Planned for surgery and that was it.

In October 2015 I underwent a full left adrenelectomy to remove a tumour from my adrenal gland.

After the surgery I’d a whole new condition to learn to deal with. My right adrenal had been suppressed while my tumour was active. This left me with no natural cortisol in my body. A 180 deg turnaround from being pumped up on steroids 24 hours a day. I was on replacement steroids but my body was readjusting. I slept most of every day. I couldn’t pick up a carton of milk. If I didn’t take my medication I was in serious trouble.

I was back at work the week before Christmas. This was much too big a leap! I’d been frustrated by the speed of my recovery. I recovered from surgery quickly but the recovery from Cushing’s was slower. I’d expected everything to just go back to normal after the surgery and hadn’t anticipated the gradual decline in symptoms. I ended up getting very sick with a virus and really thought my family would have me admitted to hospital. There are two days that all I can remember is lying on the couch sweating. I lost 8 lbs in a day! I’d pushed myself too far.

And yet I still didn’t learn! I’m not someone that likes to be inactive. I also just wanted life to go back to normal. I returned to work again in January on half days and gradually built myself up to working full days.

Slowly but surely, I was taking less and less medication. I was able to stay awake a little bit longer every day. My mind was coming back to me. I was losing the bright red colour from my face. One day I woke up, looked in the mirror and suddenly had cheek bones again. I looked like my old self. By January I’d gone from a dress size 14 to a 6 with hardly any weight loss. It was just like someone had stuck a pin in me and I was deflating back down to a regular size. My hair was growing back but still had horrible wispy ends so I chopped all the sickness out of my hair. By April I wasn’t taking any steroids. I’d again pushed myself to the limit and instead of tapering slowly had gone down in major jumps. Weeks where I was doing a major jump involved lots and lots of tears. And then some more tears.

By June I noticed that I hadn’t had a day where my joints were sore since I couldn’t remember when.

Things like falling down the stairs because my legs couldn’t support me won’t be forgotten. Standing at the top of the stairs and knowing I can’t get down. My hands turning into claws. Or accidentally going into steroid withdrawals a few days post surgery (I was the crazy patient running up and down the hospital corridor screaming and crying in the middle of the night). These won’t be forgotten but they will fade in importance. The things that won’t are my little brother coaching me through all the tubes I woke up with after surgery, my friends bringing me bottles of diet coke and fancy hummus in hospital, the friend who came to see me every day in hospital, the one who picked me up and took me home, my mam who told me I was brave and that I’d gone through a lot, and the boy who listened to me cry when the pain still hadn’t gone away.

As of today I have been declared fully recovered bar one more hurdle. My repeat bone density scan. In two weeks’ time I have to repeat this to see if I still have osteoporosis. Whatever about having a tumour at 23, being diagnosed with osteoporosis at 24 just isn’t on! I’ve been drinking plenty of milk and tons of cheese though so fingers crossed.

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