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In Memory of Jenni Moore ~ January 25, 2016

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A young woman struggling with ill health after developing a tumour died from an overdose after “illicit insulin” was brought into the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital last year, an inquest heard.

Jenni Moore passed away at the intensive therapy unit on January 25, more than two weeks after sustaining brain damage while an inpatient at the hospital.

The 26-year-old from Halesworth had been admitted in December with complications from two unsuccessful operations to remove a tumour of the pituitary gland.

A Type 2 diabetic since 2002, Miss Moore suffered from emotionally unstable personality disorder and an abusive relationship, before a diagnosis of Cushing’s disease as a result of the tumour.

Consultant physician at NNUH Dr Franscesca Swords said Miss Moore had been exhibiting “alarming symptoms”.

“Cushing’s can cause Type 2 diabetes and needs much higher levels of insulin for it to work,” she told Norfolk Coroner’s Court.

“She was having incredibly low sugars, which is consistent with too much insulin. We had been reducing her dose steadily.

“We were giving her a fraction of the insulin she had been taking but her blood sugar was still low. Eventually the realisation came to ward staff there was something else at play here.”

Staff then began to discover insulin pens hidden in her room. During an investigation Norfolk Police interviewed Miss Moore’s partner Derek Soanes, who admitted he had brought her insulin pens at her request. No further action was taken.

Sarah Kennard, a lead health officer with Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust, said in a statement that during a risk assessment in March 2014 Miss Moore said she “thought she was insulin resistant” as a result of her Cushing’s.

Assistant coroner for Norfolk Nicholas Holroyd recorded a narrative verdict.

“Jenni suffered significant and unhappy health conditions for a number of years,” he said. “Cushing’s exacerbates the diabetic condition to make the patient yet more vulnerable to sugar or hypoglycemia so higher doses of insulin are needed to correct the situation, which made her resistant in a sense.

“There has been evidence insulin was being brought to her in the hospital she should not have had. I do not believe she intended to take her own life. Nothing had occurred to drive her to an extreme act.”

After the inquest Miss Moore’s brother Joe said: “I loved my sister and so did the rest of my family, and we miss her every day.”

From http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/diabetic_died_after_overdose_from_illicit_insulin_brought_into_norfolk_and_norwich_university_hospital_1_4614300

Neale O (NealeO), Pituitary Bio

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pituitary-gland

 

I was diagnosed with Cushings Disease in September of 2015.

I used to be skinny. I was 160 lbs dripping wet. I had a thin face and exercised regularly. In fact, up until 2 years ago, I was doing CrossFit every morning at 5AM, and was pretty good at it!

I guess about 5-6 years ago, I started putting on weight. It started with what I thought was just a beer belly. I was dating a great girl and we went out a lot to eat and drink. I figured I was just getting fat and happy. Fast forward (got married to her) and we started to live our lives together. One day (2012) I was going in for a routine physical and was going over some things with my PCP. He suggested we do a finger prick to check my Glucose levels. The sample showed a 567. He was astonished, and immediately admitted me to the hospital. I ended up taking 5 IV bags as I was severely dehydrated. My PCP then schedule me in for the next day so that he could tell me I had Type 2 Diabetes (runs in family). They started me on drugs and insulin injections. So there I was, being treated for Diabetes (the Sugars as they call them) and High Blood Pressure (HBP).

This went on for a while and my wife and I decided to moved to Florida. In the mean time my undiagnosed Cushings was starting to rear it’s ugly head. Big belly, stretch marks, limb atrophy, fatigue, major depression, reduced libido, moon-pie face, thin skin and bruising easily. The depression caused a lot of issues with my marriage and we ended up getting a divorce. I moved back to Baltimore for support from my family.

I worked at my uncles shop for about a year, then was offered a new job with a great company and I jumped at the chance. By this time, the atrophy in my legs had started to really take effect. The job ended up being too physical for me and I had to resign after 1 one month.

I decided to see a new PCP as I was not happy with my previous one. Within the first 20 minutes of our initial consult, she recognized the Cushings symptoms and quickly referred me to the Endo Department (Dr. Taylor) at Mercy Medical. She had me do a bunch of blood work and urine tests. The cortisol numbers were off the charts.

She then referred me to Dr. Salvatori at John’s Hopkins Hospital (JHH). I was very lucky as she got me in there quickly. After speaking with him, he thought I had a Pituitary adenoma based on the crazy ACTH levels. We did and MRI, and an IPSS. The IPSS showed it was secreting from the right side mostly. The left had some high numbers, but nothing like the other side. In the MRI, they could not see the tumor.

Dr. Salvatori suggested on more thing before resorting to surgery. I am to have a “wet MRI” in January., 2016 This should give a much clearer scan. He also started me on Ketoconozale.

This is all happening very fast (diagnosed Sept 2015), and I am looking forward to the upcoming treatments.

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Roseglass (Roseglass), Adrenal BIo

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I have been ill for 9 years. I was experiencing severe anxiety/depression, profuse sweating, extreme hypertension, a non-stop migraine, and living in a constant state of fight-or-flight. Seven years ago, a full body CT scan revealed a left adrenal tumour. It has taken until this past year (actually just a few months ago) to finally get a diagnosis of pheochromocytoma from the medical field (no one listens to the patient – I have been telling them about the pheo and that I have Cushings for 7 years! My cousin died from an undiagnosed pheo.) Fortunately, I have wonderful long-term family doctor and more recently a great endo who have given me alpha and beta blockers to keep the symptoms more tolerable while we waited for a confirmed diagnosis.

Besides the above symptoms from the pheo, I have all the typical Cushing’s symptoms, I have also had a stroke, at least one TIA, and a heart attack. My heart has become enlarged and I can hardly breathe. After the heart attack, my weight took a huge jump. I had already become quite large but then I gained 7″ around the middle in 4 weeks. I complained to my doctors that something was terribly wrong but they kept saying I was just eating too much (sound familiar?). I also have a variety of lesions covering a variety of organs.

Due to the diagnosis of pheochromocytoma (via a MIBG), I was sent to a surgeon. The first was an idiot (don’t stand for that – ever – there are decent people out there). Then I was allowed to choose my own team. I found a team in Toronto, at Princess Margaret Hospital, who are knowledgeable and really understand this disease. When they said I had classic Cushing’s, my eyes teared up – finally someone saw it.

I have just had my 1st consultation with them, plus more tests, and am waiting for my 2nd consultation in January when I also expect to meet with the surgeon. It is looking hopeful that I may have my life back. They believe my body will go back to normal: my heart, diabetes reversal, my hair return to normal (more on head, less on chin), pain relieved (I can hardly walk and cannot climb stairs), and other delightful changes …including a normal life span.

I am worried about small lesions developing on my pituitary and right adrenal gland but no one is really looking at those at the moment. I just got word that the left adrenal tumour doubled in size recently so getting this out is the priority. It has been such a long and frustrating process that I won’t feel truly at ease until I have an actual surgery date.

Roseglass

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J Stone (J Stone), Pituitary Bio

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Hi. I’ve been diagnosed with Cushings Disease since 2010.

My journey started in 2009: weight gain, headaches,high blood pressure, mood changes, insomnia every symptom except stretch marks.

I was in nursing school at the time, worked full time as well. I just started to feel “not right” I knew something was wrong, even mentioned all my symptoms to my nursing instructor and she said “ do you have Cushings?” Those words changed my life.

I started researching Everthing! I became obsessed. I started to visit my GP. The answer “you’re old and fat and need to diet” I was 42. Then it became “you’re premenopausal and fat” eat less, exercise more. I had been eating very well and was as active as I could be. He kept telling me the same thing for the 6months I kept going back to the MD office.

After all my research and reading I became convinced Cushings is what I possibly could have. I went to his office, sat down and told him I wasn’t leaving until I had an order for a 24 hr urine and serum cortisol. He laughed but gave me an order. Took the tests and what do you know,high levels. He promptly referred me to an Endo.

I will never forget the words she said to me on my first visit “ I’m very afraid for you” as all my tests were very high. She referred me to a specialist in Cushings which is in an other state. I traveled to see her and she confirmed and diagnosed me with Cushings disease. And then it became a whirlwind of tests and surgery. She told me I had a very advanced case and probably had Cushings for at least 5 years before seeing her.

It is now 2010, a year after I had first started to see my GP. I had my first Pituitary surgery in Nov. 2010. They removed the tumor and a bit of my pituitary. I recovered 2011. It took a very long time for my adrenal glands to wake up. I was on hydrocortisone for over a year before I @could taper off completely. I was back at work, loosing weight, getting my strength back and feeling hopeful this was the end.

Not so lucky. I had about 2 years of doing pretty good, but in 2014 I started to have all the signs again. Weight gain, pain, insomnia. My lab work had started to show all the Cushings signs again. MRI’s showed tumors, more of them are back. I tried the drugs available, all of them, none worked.

I had my second surgery June 2015. After surgery I was told it was unsuccessful plus I had even more tumors. One which is on my carotid artery. So I continued on trying the meds available, still no improvement. 2017: my symptoms getting worse, feeling terrible. Gaining weight. My tolerance to activity has greatly decreased and the headaches are constant. All the symptoms are back. I have been told I can not have any more pituitary surgeries because the tumor is on the carotid. I have altered my work, I now can only do a desk job and not work on the floor taking care of patients as it is too difficult for me.

I now have terrible high blood pressure, increased diabetes, osteoporosis with significant bone loss, weight gain, headaches constantly, insomnia etc. so the next step, I am seeing my provider who I have to travel across state lines to see and plan on discussing a BLA as I feel this is my last option to provide me relief and move on with life.

I will have to see what happens.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

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Angie T (Angie), Pituitary Bio

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I am a 44 years old. I started gaining a lot of weight in 2015 thought it was from taking insulin for my sugar.

I went to my Primary care doctor in August of 2016 and she took 1 look at me and told me that she was going to test me for Cushings . That was the 1st time a doctor had mentioned it to me. She sent me for the test and I tested positive. I was already seeing a Endo dr for my diabetes and she referred me to them for the Cushings. They started their series of test and told me in November that I did have Cushings.

They did a MRI with contrast and without and I have a Pit Tumor on my Left Gland that is 7mm by 8mm by 5mm. I am trying to find a surgeon in my insurance network so I can have my surgery. I have a lot of other health issues too.

I hope when I have my surgery that it takes care of some ot my other problems.

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Mary H (Marietta), Adrenal Bio

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In 1976, I was (finally) diagnosed with Cushing’s disease and after the up the nose surgery, which was ineffective, I had bilateral adrenalectomy.

It all started in late 1974, when I started having lots of illnesses and was depressed.  I was crying a lot and going back and forth to my doctor, who treated every illness and gave me anti-depressants.

Then the weight gain started, ( I was 185 at my highest, which was usually 115-120) actually I had been gaining weight, but by now it was rapid and uneven– only my trunk and face.

All through late ’74 and 1975, I was back and forth, even with a dx of pregnant,  (which made evryone happy, as I was married Feb 1974.  But the mental problems continued, I was under psychiatric care and had 2-3 in-patinet stays of about 2 weeks.  Each time, after the observation and evaluation, I was discharged with no dx. I would also fall asleep at the strangest places and times, all very suddenly.
In March of of 1976, I  had what was then called a “nervous breakdown,” so again I was hospitalized.  THAT probably saved my life, as it was my psychiatrist who finally dx Cushing’s and decided on treatment. He later told me that I had him very confused, as each time he thought he had the DSM dx (he knew I was in the mh field), I would change and thus, he could not fit me in any DSM DX.   Then, because of my appearence (moon face, foot-ball player shape, with skinny limbs, losing my hair and all the secondary dx (high blood pressure, insulin diabetes that could not be controlled– up, down, up down, losing hair, on my head but growing on my face and back), he said he remembered something from medical school.

He did a lot of research, ordered a lot of tests and VOILA– I had Cuhing’s disease.  It was very rare and at that time, he said there were no more 300-400 (known) cases in medical history; also, I was the youngest dx at 26, because most cases were in those age at least 50.

I had the nose surgery, very new at the time,  but it didn’t “work,” so I had to have my adrenal grand removed– they were 5x the normal size and producing 25x the normal amount of steroids. I had the surgery in Novemver 1976, which took from 7 am to 5 pm (I have the 2 long scars on my back).  I did not know at the time that there was an 85% chance of surviving that surgery.

Post surgery, all but 3 of my fingernails fell off, my hair was in tight curls (previoulsy straight) and I had cystic acne on my face, neck and back. I started taking cortisone and florinef and was told I had to take  it the rest of my like.  I was under close dr care for about a year, and by April 1977, the weight was gone (I was back to 115) and all secondary symptoms were gone.  I believe that the surgery was a real “cure” for my Cushing’s disease and after, it was/is maybe somewhat like diabetes, in that it is managed and controlled.  There are some things that I have to watch carefully, like a comprommised immune system (increase the prednisone if infection seems likely) and some depression (never hospitalized again).  I have had some adrenal crises, that landed me in the ER, maybe 5-6 over the years (how strange, no doctor ever told me or gave me a prescription for an injection for such occurences).
In 1990-1991, I had what ended up being appendicitis.  After 4x in the ER, I vomited blood and collapsed.  It turned out to be a (dead) grangrenous appendix, which should have been removed the first t ime.  Supposedly, the prednisone that I take “masked” the symptoms and since my blood showed no infection, I was sent home from the ER each time.  I spent 2 weeks in the hospital with 3 strong intravenous antibiotics to remove all the toxins in my body that almost killed me.

In 2000, I was dx with diabetes, which runs in my family, and at  64 years  old, the problems I have now are severe allergies/sinus problems (no one believes that I am sick when this makes me sick) and I seem to always be hotter or much colder than anybody (which the doctor warned me about right after the major surgery).

Also, I started out with cortisone; in 1990, a new doctor in NYC gave me hydrocortisone and I gained 10-20 lbs.  Another doctor quickly put me back on cortisone and said that the hydrocortisone was only for injections when I have adrenal crisis– it is quick actiing.  The cortisone was 25 mg daily and around 1993-94, I started gaining weight.  A new docotr in Chicago, switched it to prednisone 5mg., the equivalent of the 25 mg cortisone.  He said the prednisone did not cause weight gain– he was right.  I also take Florinef, now Fludrocortisone (the generic, Florinef is VERY expensive, as is the generic, but less).  I started out with this at .1 mg  once every other day and sometime in the 90s, the same dr who put me on prednisone, changed the Fl to one x daily.

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H. Lane (Sunshine), Undiagnosed Bio

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I have a giant buffalo hump on the back of the neck with vertical blue/purple lines below it.

I also have lipomas not symetrical across my upper back.  Then there are two symetrical lumps near each arm pit.

Two lab results come back saying I have a normal cortisol level.

I am diabetic, type 2, with high blood pressure, and only slightly elevated cholesterol levels.

I am wondering if I may have Cushings as well as Madelung’s disease.  I am very confused.

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Brian (Brian), Adrenal Bio

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In 2011, I realized I had Cushing’s Syndrome. I was a 30 year old male with several complications: swollen feet, swollen legs, stomach looked 9 months pregnant, hair fell out, memory loss, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, diabetes, mood swings, depression, urination every hour during the night, bright pink stretch marks, etc.

After changing my doctors several times for misdiagnosis, I was finally tested for Cushing’s Disease/Syndrome. I contacted the National Institute of Health and doctors advised me to come in immediately. I survived 2 months living at NIH, while doctors ran several tests to determine if I had Cushing’s Disease or Cushing’s Syndrome. I had Cushing’s Syndrome and my tumor was found in my right adrenal gland.

After sucessful surgery, I did not have the energy to get out of the bed for almost a month. I was taking almost 10 pills per day including cortisol, high blood pressure medication, potassium, etc. I lost 40 pounds after surgery going from 208 pounds to 168 pounds and after 6 months, I was taken off all medication. I beat Cushing’s Syndrome and Diabetes!

Now, I am 32 years old. I am in great shape and finally got my life back. I do not have any complications. The only sign of Cushing’s Syndrome are the stretch marks and a scar from removing the tumor from my adrenal gland.

I just wanted to meet other people going through a bad disease and help out if possible. I am here if anyone has questions or just want to talk.

~ Brian

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Voices from the Past: Moxie G, MoxieGarrett, Pituitary Bio

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August 1, 2017:

It’s been 3 months since my surgery. I’m still trying to piece my story together.

I think it begins with the pregnancy and birth of my last child in 2012. After 3 exemplary pregnancies and home births, I never expected the cholestasis, a 36-week breech & manual turn, or a retained placenta and near fatal delivery. After successfully nursing 3 children, I struggled to produce enough milk and gave up after 3 months. I was ashamed of my inability to have a healthy pregnancy and nurse my baby. I tucked it away.

Normally a very thin and “bounce back” kinda person (5″8/130lbs), I was unable to entirely lose my baby weight and then noticed a gradual weight gain. My wedding rings no longer fit and when I went to get them resized, I was told my finger had changed by 2.5 sizes. I was embarrassed. I took them off.

My once angular face became puffy & round. I developed acne on my back and arms. Nothing healed. I started noticing dark facial and body hair on my blonde body. Normally a pink person, I didn’t really notice when my skin turned red. Normally easy to bruise, my new ones didn’t alarm me. Having not escaped my pregnancies without some stretch marks, I didn’t think much about the excess ones I was sporting. Always complaining of feeling cold, I now felt like I was overheating and wanted to rip my clothes off. My cuticles cracked and bled and I chalked it up to winters in Canada. Two of my teeth broke and I figured they were just weak… it runs in the family. My newly prescribed glasses made everything look fuzzier… oh well, I’ve always had poor vision. I attributed my alarming hair loss to post-pregnancy normalcy. I figured the continuing lactation was just a left-over indignity. Pretty sexy stuff.

People asked me on a regular basis when I was due. My abdomen was completely rounded, my breasts were huge, but I still had comically thin limbs. It felt like my body was open to judgement and commentary. I was ashamed of my new appearance. I made light of it.

I stopped attending social functions because I hated the way I looked. I couldn’t bear going through the process of trying to find something flattering to wear and then having to field questions about my uncharacteristic weight gain. I felt like I always had to explain myself. It was humiliating. I withdrew.

I had a pathological, insatiable thirst. Normally not a large beverage consumer, I was pounding can after can of whatever I could get my hands on. I planned every excursion around knowing where there were restrooms and where I could buy my next beverage. My sleep was interrupted hourly. It became a joke among my family & friends. I limited where I would go and who I would be around.

I oscillated between having super-human energy (16-18 hour self-imposed workdays) to being so bone-weary that I would fall asleep sitting up at my computer, mouse still in hand. When my symptoms began, I was working in senior positions in advertising agencies. It was a demanding & high-paced lifestyle. Also during this time, I left my career to open my own business. In the 5 years I was sick, I launched a successful childrens’ retail store. I assumed my exhaustion was a natural by-product of my workaholism. All working moms are this tired, right?

I couldn’t understand… I was functioning at a high level… 4 happy kids, a great marriage, a clean house, a successful business, I was even freelancing as a strategist on the side. Why didn’t I feel like myself? What was going on with my body? I surely couldn’t be ill. I was doing just fine. Look. See? I should just try harder.

I often said to my GP that I thought my hormones were outta whack. Nothing was severe enough to warrant a doctor’s visit or alarm. Everything was manageable but there were so many small, strange things happening that I was sure something was off. Eventually, she ordered blood tests. I carried the requisition around for almost a year. I thought I was overacting and wasting people’s time. In June 2016, I had a severe sinus infection and went to my doctor. Sheepishly, I promised to attend to the blood work I had been avoiding.

A week later, my doctor’s office called and told me to walk myself to the hospital emergency room. My sugars were 34 (Normal is 4-6, Coma is 16+). I didn’t know what this meant but was assured it was severe. I called my husband and we went out for dinner. I sent him and my daughter home and walked to the hospital.

I started to get an idea of how serious it was when the hospital staff rushed me in and started giving me insulin shots. No-one could understand why my sugars were so high and how my body was tolerating it without shutting down into a coma. They tried unsuccessfully for 24 hours to bring my sugars down to acceptable levels. With no history of family or gestational Diabetes, I was diagnosed with Type 2.

Dealing with this diagnosis was hard. It was my belief that only fat, lazy people with horrible lifestyles developed this disease. I went home and had to learn how to live like a Diabetic. I cut sugar completely out of my diet. We had to relearn how to grocery shop and cook. I had to start reading and understanding food labels. My husband made me disgusting quinoa muffins. Being a Diabetic became a full-time hobby. And the medications wreaked havoc on my digestive system.

The road to finding out what was causing the resistant Diabetes was in full throttle. I met dozens of doctors, nurses, technicians, and specialists. I had CTs, MRIs, X-rays, diabetes management & dietician appointments, urine tests, blood tests, hormone tests, pre-op & pre-admitting appointments, visual tests, Neuro-opthamology appointments, ENT consults, Endrocrinology reviews… It was constant and exhausting. I developed a deep hatred for medical tape.
So, Diabetes symptoms led to a Cushings Disease diagnosis, which eventually led to a pituitary tumour diagnosis. I had a 9mm Adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH)-producing tumour. Surgery was booked. Jokes were made. All of a sudden, I needed everything about as much as I needed a hole in the head (They really did drill a hole in my skull. It’s held back together with glue!). But being diagnosed with a brain tumour was a relief. Something beyond my control was responsible for my current condition. I didn’t do this to myself because I was incompetent, lazy, or deserving. This was done to me and now we could try to fix it.

My surgery was booked at St. Michael’s Hospital with Dr. Cusimano here in Toronto for April 21. Due to a hospital error, my surgery was cancelled at the last minute and re-booked for May 1. After my family travelling here to be with me, getting my house in order, making arrangements for my store, childcare, packing my bags, saying cryptic goodbyes to my loved ones just in case, and even shaving my legs, I was crushed. I had mentally prepared and now I had to wait another 9 days and do it all over again.

Getting prepped for surgery was terrifying. I was in surgery for just over 3 hours and in intensive care for 3 days. I slept a lot during my immediate recovery. I had a bout of Diabetes Insipidus. But the good news? My cortisol crashed immediately. This assured everyone that the tumour was gone. The bad news? I felt like absolute garbage. My mom, my husband, my brother, and my best friend were there with me. I let them take care of me. I let them take care of everything.
Surgical recovery is manageable. Getting the stitches & stints removed from my nose was absolutely horrible and I had what I thought was a panic attack directly after the procedure. It really scared me (I now know it was my adrenalin crashing. My surgery has left me with an adrenal insufficiency which means my body cannot handle any stress, illness or injury.). Scar tissue has formed around one of my nostrils. It is affectionately known as “Mini Nostril”. And I can tell you that not blowing your nose for 3 months is one of the most annoying things in the universe. I went back to work 8 days after surgery. I shouldn’t have, but I’m a show-off. Everybody that sees me is stunned at the transformation thus far. My skin is a normal colour and I have lost nearly 30 lbs. People that knew me before I got sick say, “Welcome Back”. People that didn’t know me previously ask me if I am ok or don’t even recognize me.

Chemical recovery is terrible. My sugars are behaving more normally and I’ve been able to discontinue one of my three medications. I started my hormone weaning a few weeks ago and it is so hard. My latest blood tests show that my body is still not producing it. Every muscle and joint aches. I barely eat anything. I have headaches. It takes me hours to fall asleep. I’m dizzy. I’m weak. I’m exhausted. I’m not sure my digestive system will ever be right. I’m so tired of complaining. This will be my reality for at least a year.

But, I am hopeful. I know that I will heal. And most of all, I am grateful… for the love of my friends & family, the health of my children, the healthcare system of my country, and the chance to reset my life. I put my wedding rings back on yesterday. They fit.

(And what of that fucking tumour? The hospital adopted him. I had to sign papers and everything. You’re welcome, science.)

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Miriam, Undiagnosed Bio

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golden-oldie

Hi. I am M and I have had healthy problems for as long as I can remember.

It started when I was 10 with severe anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Luckily, I don’t remember most of the details, but I remember being under the care of a child psychiatrist and a psychologist. I was on a cocktail of medications for about a year. As some point, my mother read a bunch about the dangers of these medications and somehow weaned me off of them. I remained under the care of my psychologist for a year or two after that.

I think we hoped at that point that things would go back to normal, or something like that, but sadly, we were very wrong. A couple of months (possibly a year) later, I was diagnosed with diabetes, shortly before my 12th birthday. This was 12 years ago, when type two diabetes wasn’t often (if at all) diagnosed in kids that age. It took the doctors a while to determine if I was type two or type one, but they eventually settled on type two. In reality, it barely made a difference, as I was on insulin and oral medication- in essence being treated for both types.

Again, I wish I could say that this was the end of my health problems, but it wasn’t. For starters, my insulin resistance was (and still is) so bad that I am on enormous doses of insulin just to maintain a non-dangerous blood sugar level. I have  been plagued by nasty skin (bacterial, yeast and abcess) infections since high school requiring hospitalization from time to time, and anti-biotics terribly frequently.

I was diagnosed with PCOS at some point, having all of the typical symptoms: facial har (I actually bought myself a hot wax pot to avoid the cost and nuisance of going to get it all removed every week or two!). My period has never been regular. I have gone as many as six months without it, but it can be more frequent also. Obviously, I am quite heavy and have struggled with weight my entire life. Dieting is a horrible situation, as it takes extreme effort for me just to maintain my weight.

About two years ago I had terrible gallstones attacks, finally having my gallbladder removed after a week in the hospital with a gallbladder infection. I also have problems with nausea and heartburn which can be very severe at times. About 10 months ago I was diagnosed with an ulcer.

At some point my endocrinologist (whom I see for the diabetes) asked about my family history at length, and then concluded that it simply didn’t all add up. I do have a family histoty of obesity and type two diabetes on both sides of my family, but nobody has ever had a problem before 45-50, other than gestational diabetes. My siblings are on the heavy side, but not obese like I am. I don’t eat differently than they do, I don’t live differently than they do. He ordered a 24 hour urine test, assuring me that he is sure it is nothing but he wants to be thorough. I pressed him for details and he admitted he is testing my cortisol levels as he suspects they may be high and causing some of my problems.

I left the doctor’s office and (against my better judgement!) googled cortisol levels. I stumbled upon cushings disease and lists of symptoms and it all just clicked. I started crying, half in fear but also half in relief. As scary as cushing sounds, I promise it can’t be worse than everything I have endured. The idea that we might be able to treat the root cause of all of my health problems sounded dreamy and amazing.

Then I got back the results of the 24 hour urine test, and it was on the high side, but still within the normal range. The doctor is completely unconcerned, but something in the back of my head can’t let this go so easily (especially reading here and on other sites about the inacuracy of that test in diagnosing cushings).

I am facing this alone, am not a good advocate for myself, and am overwhelmed already, so I let it go. But now I have a new symptom, and when googling it (again, bad idea) I came across cushings again. And now I just can’t let it go. A couple of months ago I started experiencing severe pain deep in my legs (it feels like it’s the bone) when I walk. At first, I ignored it and started to cut down my walking. Eventually it got so bad that a walk down the block brought me to tears from pain. I finally went to my GP, who sent me for an MRI of my lower back. It turns out that I have a herniated disc in my back, but the doctor explained that he doesn’t think that actually explains the matching pain in both legs, as it is only on my right side.

He checked my vitamin D level, and said it was so low it is undectable. He sent me to an orthopedist, but I am still waiting to see that doctor. I am at my wits end right now. I am not yet 24 years old, and my body is in shambles. I can’t walk a block without pain, and when I push myself to walk and stand on my feet the pain gets so bad that I have to spend a couple of days in bed recovering. My friends talk about doing all kinds of things like going on hikes or visiting the statue of liberty, and I make excuses because I know there’s no way I could physically do something like that.

Right now I am so torn. On the one hand, I have a family history of obesity and diabetes, and have been clinicly diagnosed with that. On the other hand, I read through the list of symptoms thinking “check, check, check…” I am quite large around the middle, but have super skinny wrists, ankles, fingers, etc. I don’t want to be diagnosed with cushings (or any other scary disease) but I can’t stop thinking that nobody’s luck is as bad as mine!

What do you think? Does it sound like I have cushings? If so, how should I proceed? Remeber, I am completely alone in this, I have limited resources and money, and I am timid and terrible at standing up for myself. I hope that someone here can help, because I have never felt so alone and desperate in my life.

Thank you in advance,

M

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