I’m Alicia and I’m 18. I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS but it does not explain all of my symptoms. I used to be super athletic and played 3 sports. I got my period at 13 and it was regular. However, I started losing my periods.
At first they would come every few months but have since stopped completely. I have lost a lot of weight, especially muscle. I had to stop playing soccer because my leg muscles were giving out. At the same time I got very bad acne and started sweating through all my clothes. My hair started falling out of my head. I ordered rogaine at age 15 because the bald spots on my head were so embarrassing.
I’ve been on 3 different acne medications and accutane. I have been working since I was 14 but I can no longer stand through my shifts even though I am only working 5 hours at a time. I feel like absolute crap and the worst part is I’m so weak. And my appearance has changed a lot. My face is round, red, and my eyelids are swollen. I don’t recognize myself and can’t stand to look in the mirror. My arms and legs are sticks and I can’t gain muscle no matter what I try. I get sick all the time, I’ve had strep twice, oral yeast infections, UTIS in the past couple months.
I went to an endocrinologist about a year ago who tested for a bunch of common hormone problems. All of my adrenal hormones were high. Testosterone, DHEA, androstenedione, and aldosterone. However, my cortisol levels were never tested. I was told I have PCOS but there were no cysts on my ovaries.
I found a new endocrinologist who mentioned testing my cortisol levels, but later decided not to because I am underweight and cushing’s usually causes weight gain. To me, it seems like I could have the atypical kind, which causes asthenia instead of weight gain.
Let me know if anyone has suggestions on what to do now, I would really appreciate it. I am still in high school and I’m genuinely worried for my future if I can’t figure this out.
Best friends Charly Clive and Ellen Robertson thought carefully about what to call the tumour that was growing in Charly’s brain.
The doctors had their own name for the golf-ball-sized growth sitting right behind Charly’s left eye — a pituitary adenoma — but the friends decided they needed something less scary. They flirted with calling it Terry Wogan (‘as in Pitui-Terry Wogan,’ says Ellen), but that didn’t seem quite right.
So Britney Spears fan Charly, then 23, suggested Britney. Bingo! Not only was she ‘iconic and fabulous’, but Britney was also one of life’s survivors. From then on, they were a threesome — Charly, Ellen and Britney the brain tumour — although Ellen is at pains to point out that this Britney was never a friend.
What a thing to have to deal with, so young. The pair, who met at school in rural Oxfordshire, are now actresses. Charly’s biggest role to date has been in the critically acclaimed 2019 Channel 4 series Pure, while Ellen starred in the Agatha Christie mini-series The Pale Horse.
But this week they appeared together in Britney, a BBC comedy based on the story of Charly’s brain tumour. The TV pilot (and yes, they are hoping for a full series) is an expansion of a sell-out stage show they performed at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2016.
The production is admittedly surreal. Viewers are led inside Charly’s brain and the show includes a scene where Charly dons an inflatable sumo-wrestler suit on the day of her diagnosis. Poetic licence? No, it really happened.
‘My dad’s mate had given him a sumo suit as a silly Christmas present and so, on Doomsday, we took photos of me in it.’
The tone was set for how these friends would deal with the biggest challenge of their lives: they would laugh through it, somehow.
As the women, now 28, point out, what was the alternative?
Charly says: ‘It was that thing of laughing at the monster so you are not scared of it. If you cry when do you stop? It was easier to make light of it.’
Their show is not really about a brain tumour. It’s a celebration of friendship. Ellen pretty much moved in with Charly’s family during this time (‘To be in place when I exploded, so she could pick up the debris,’ says Charly).
The pair live together today, finishing each other’s sentences as we speak on Zoom — and at one point both miming Charly’s brain surgery (with gruesome sound effects).
This sort of silliness rooted their friendship, which started at the age of 14 when they wrote their own plays (Finding Emo, anyone?) while at school together in Abingdon. Charly later moved to New York to study dramatic arts, and Ellen studied at Cambridge.
In 2015, Charly came home for a visit, and went to see her GP (played in the drama by Omid Djalili) about her lack of periods and a blind spot in her peripheral vision. An MRI scan showed a mass on her brain. ‘They said it had eroded the bone in my nose and was pressing on the optic nerve, and it was lucky we had caught it,’ she says. ‘The next step would have been discovering it because I’d gone blind.’
Even worse, the tumour was so close to her carotid artery that removal might kill her — and they still had no idea if it was cancerous. Into the breach stepped Ellen. ‘I saw it as my job to make her laugh, which is what I’d always done anyway,’ she says. They both talk of toppling into limbo, ‘almost like a fantasy world’, says Charly. ‘As I was going through the tests, we’d do impressions of the doctors and create our own scenarios.’
The friends talk about sitting up into the night, watching TV. There is a touching moment when Charly admits she was afraid to sleep, and Ellen knew it. ‘It’s hard when you are thinking “What if the tumour grows another inch in the night and I don’t wake up?” ’
Charly was operated on in March 2016, and Ellen remembers the anaesthetist confiding that Charly’s heart had stopped on the operating table.
‘He wasn’t the most tactful person we’ve ever met. He said “Oh my God, guys, she died”.’ Charly makes a jazz hands gesture. ‘And guess who is alive again?’ Even at that darkest moment, there were flashes of humour. Ellen laughs at the memory of the surgeon in his scrubs, with wellies on. ‘They had blood on them. I was transfixed. I wanted to ask “Is that Charly’s . . . brain blood?” ’
In the stage version of the show, the anaesthetist gets two full scenes. ‘He’s the heartthrob of the piece,’ says Charly. ‘A sexy rugger bloke who is crap at talking to people.’
The days that followed the surgery were hideous — and yet they, too, have been mined for comedy. Charly’s face was bandaged, ‘as if I’d had a Beverly Hills facelift’, and she was warned that she could not sneeze. ‘If I did, bits of my brain would come out my nose,’ she says.
Ellen read her extracts from Harry Potter but ‘made them smutty’, which confused the already confused Charly further. ‘I was drug-addled and not myself, and in the most bizarre pain, concentrated in my face’.
‘That week after the surgery was the worst part of all,’ says Ellen, suddenly serious. ‘She was behaving oddly and there was this unacknowledged fear: was this Charly for ever?’ Oh, the relief when the old Charly eventually re-emerged — albeit a more fragile, often tearful version.
It was Ellen who persuaded Charly to take their stage show about her illness public — and it went on to win much critical acclaim. ‘I wanted Charly to see it as something other than just this rubbish chapter that needed to be forgotten about,’ says Ellen.
For her part, Charly credits her best friend as her saviour: ‘I don’t know how I would have got through it all without Ellen.’
The good news is that Britney was not cancerous, although surgery did not obliterate her entirely. ‘She’s still there, but tiny — just a sludge. I’ve been told that she won’t grow though. If I ever do get another brain tumour, it won’t be Britney.’
Off they go again, imagining what is happening now inside Charly’s brain. ‘Britney is still in there, trying on outfits for a comeback tour, but it won’t happen,’ says Charly. Ellen nods. ‘It’s over,’ she says. ‘But she’s just left a pair of shoes behind.’
Britney is available to watch on BBC Three and BBC iPlayer
I was diagnosed with Cushing’s in 1986. I had all the symptoms. Weight gain, purple stretch marks, severe acne, hair all over the face, balding on the head, muscle weakness, depression, no periods, moon face, etc.
I had all the blood, urine tests. Scans, x-rays and even petrosal sinus sampling. These were inconclusive as to the source. The MRI of the pituitary showed swelling and near to the optic nerve, so the next step was pituitary surgery which was done in August 1986.
However the cortisol levels were still high. I still had Cushing’s. I was then given the choice of long term drug treatment while the source was located or to have an adrenalectomy. I was told that if I became pregnant on the drugs the pregnancy would not be able to continue because the effect of the drugs on a feotus wasn’t known. I felt that at the age of 24 I wanted my health back and the chance to have children if I was lucky enough. So in the October 1986 I had bilateral adrenalectomy through the back.
My Cushing’s was to all intents and purposes cured. Nearly 16 years later the ectopic source has never been found despite many more tests. It is still there because it still produces ACTH. The good side is now that I tan really easily which is amazing considering the British weather. I take hydrocortisone and fludrocortisone. I have never felt that I truly got my health back but am glad to still be here. I went on to have two lovely children, now aged 14 and 12. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis last year after years of back pain which is now being treated. I also had some problems last year and was diagnosed with angina and my steroids had to be increased due to a total lack of energy.
Up till now I have just about managed to hold down a full time job as a merchandiser for Hallmark Cards but have now taken the decision to go part-time which I am able to do with Hallmark. I have been married twice and am again a single parent. The men in my life could not cope with my health problems, so I figure I am better off with being on my own to bring up my kids. I think that’s about all. I would just like to say a huge thank-you to St. Bartolomews Hospital in London for all they have done for me over the years. Without their care and support I probably wouldn’t be here. p.s. I still suffer from depression but the old prozac sure helps.
Update: May, 2007
It is now 2007 and in 2006 they found my ectopic source in my appendix. It looked on the scan like it was in the central blood vessel but when they operated my appendix had flipped itself up and the tumour was sitting on the tip of it. After they tested it it was found to be a carcinoid tumour. Thankfully it was all taken away and the outcome was ok.
For the first time in over 20 years I can honestly say that i am much beter. for 20 years i felt ill and now i feel great. Obviously i still have bad days as I have no adrenal glands. But i will always be greatful for the immense help and support that i have received from professor Grossman and St. Bartholomews hospital in London.
WHEN Katelyn Bonacasa’s face got “red and burning hot” and became a “complete circle”, it was dismissed by doctors as “adult acne” and “postpartum changes”.
After being repeatedly fobbed off for months on end, she decided to do her own research – and was able to get to the bottom of what was really going on.
The first symptoms Katelyn, then 29, noticed was red, bumpy irritation across her chest.
A dermatologist said it had been hormonally triggered and gave her a wash and cream, which cleared it up.
But soon after that her face started to change.
She said: “Moon face was the first major symptom I noticed.
“My face lost all shape and became a complete circle. On top of that, it was red and burning hot all the time.”
Within weeks her hair began falling out and she lost nearly a third of it, while new hair sprouted across her face, from forehead to chin.
Acne erupted across her skin, her body bruised easily, and even the smallest cuts would take months to heal.
“I was literally unrecognisable to myself,” Katelyn admitted.
“I gained 30lbs so quickly, I couldn’t keep my eyes open from fatigue, but I also couldn’t sleep.
“I was depressed, anxious, angry, and constantly on edge. I felt like I was losing my mind.”
Her periods stopped, her thyroid became enlarged, and blood work showed her body wasn’t responding as it should to insulin.
Katelyn recalled: “The hardest part was watching how everything kept getting worse and just hoping it would be reversible one day.”
Yet for eight long months, doctors dismissed her insisting symptoms were “postpartum changes” or “normal for women”.
“I couldn’t even get a sentence out before my first endocrinologist interrupted me to say, ‘You’re fine’,” Katelyn claimed.
“He told me it was probably just postpartum. He ordered the most basic thyroid test, nothing comprehensive, and wrote in his notes that he had ‘no suspicion of anything’.”
Another doctor brushed her skin changes off as adult acne. An OB/GYN told her to try running on a treadmill.
“These things are normal as a woman,” one endocrinologist said flatly.
So Katelyn, from Long Island, New York, began doing her own research.
“I realised the only thing I hadn’t been tested for was Cushing’s disease,” she said.
When repeated blood tests showed cortisol levels three or four times higher than normal, and a urine test came back at 720 when the normal range is 3 to 45, her suspicions were confirmed.
“From the very first time I had blood work done, I never once had a normal cortisol reading,” she said.
“That’s when I knew it had to be Cushing’s.”
Cushing’s disease is caused by having too much of the hormone cortisol in your body and can be caused by a small, non-cancerous growth in the pituitary gland.
Katelyn was sure she finally had an answer and found a neurosurgeon who specialised in pituitary and skull base tumours.
“I asked for a consultation before I even had the MRI, because I was so sure this was what I had and I was right,” she said.
When an MRI confirmed a 1.5cm tumour, she sent her labs and scans to his office. Within eight weeks of that first phone call, she was in surgery.
Katelyn says: “I was the one who connected the dots and pushed for the right tests.
“I trusted myself, and that’s what saved me.”
Now 30, Katelyn has detailed her symptoms and repeated dismissals by doctors on TikTok, reaching thousands of people.
“Since posting my videos, I’ve had hundreds of people messaging me with questions about my journey,” she said.
“It makes me sad that people have to dig through external sources and fight so hard for answers when something as simple as a blood test could change everything.
“A 1.5cm pituitary tumour absolutely wrecked me. Nothing will humble you more than living as a version of yourself you don’t recognise, with zero control over it.
Hello my name is Jordiyn and i have not been definitively diagnosed with Cushing as of yet. Im not really quite sure where to start so ill start at the beginning.
At the age of 19 i started to notice that I was gaining weight very rapidly for no reason. I was very active and I weighed about 120 and then within about 6 months I gained 60 pounds. Then from there I started to gain more weight every month/year. All in all iv gain over 100 pounds in the last 4 years even though i eat pretty healthy and exercise.
With the excessive weight gain I started to notice these pinkish/purplish stretch marks on my hips, stomach,arms and thighs. Plus I gained a lot of weight in my face and my upper back. And then I started to notice that I was so tired and weak all the time.
I think the worst part has been the back pain and that I always feel like I need a nap even though I have a very hard time sleeping. My moods started to change dramatically. I get irritated very fast and I can just start crying and the most random things, I also have really bad anxiety so much so its crippling. My depression is threw the roof.
Last year in October I even tried to kill myself and then 4 months later I tried again. I do have Bipolar and i’m on medication but it feels like none of the medication are working. My psychiatrist just has no idea what is going on with me but he did tell me he thinks there’s something going on that doesn’t relate to my bipolar.
Then last year in October I stopped having my period and this lasted until june of this year so about 9 months. In those 9 months I gain 25 pounds, I literally thought that I was pregnant but every test was negative. After tons of tests and blood work It later turned out that I have PSOD. While I was at my Gynecologist he told me that I look like someone who has Cushing’s and that i needed to talking to my primary care doctor and talk to her about it.
So as of now im waiting for my doctor to send me to an Endocrinologist. I am very nervous that I have Cushing’s. Last year while I was doing some research about all out my symptoms Cushing’s popped up and so I talked with my old doctor about it and all she did was dismiss it. So after I couldn’t get any doctor to listen to me I gave up. Then a doctor finally says to me you may have it and i feel like it a sign from God telling me that I maybe i do have Cushing’s.
I would love to make some friends and actually have someone to talk to about this. Ill keep everyone updated and I’ll also post some pictures too.
Amanda Paxton, aged 41. From Auckland, New Zealand. Grew up in California. Currently living in Doha, Qatar, Middle East. This is like speed dating :).
Skinny and healthy until my 20s, started gaining weight, it took 5 endocrinologists and 12 years of increasingly agressive symptons to find the tumour.
They kept telling me I had PCOS and needed to diet and exercise more – how often have we all heard that?? It was so frustrating. Countless trips to naturopaths and kineisologists and chinese herbal doctors and nutritionalists and dieticians and weight management specialists. Countless diets – South Beach, Atkins, Dukan, Weight Watchers.
Found the tumour just before my 35th birthday. Successfully removed it (biggest one the neurosurgeon had seen) transphennoidally. Had less than a year on synthetic steroids – hydrocortisone. Periods returned – have had 2 beautiful daughters post surgery and one beautiful daughter pre surgery.
We now think there is another tumour as symptons have returned. Unexplained weight gain, no loss with diet and exercise, hair falling out. Should have test results in a couple of weeks.
I have an amazing life with a great family and I am really healthy, except for weighing 100 kilos. My biggest concern is not being here for my family or developing diabetes or heart disease esp with the weight.
I will keep you posted. Nice to meet you. Would love to hear from anyone who has had 2+ surgeries with any advice.
Im currently 24. In 2008 I was diagnosed with PCOS because of my very absent periods, an ovary full of cysts and acne. At that moment the gyno only gave me contraceptive pills.
In 2013 another gyno started giving me also metformin 2x500mg. Also because all these years my cholesterol and triglicerides were always high even though I have been vegan and vegetarian for over 7 years.
In 2010 I fractured one ankle and in 2014 I fractured the other ankle and Ive had multiple surgeries to try to fix that. Ive had continuous weight gain all these years even though I watch my diet and I exercise all the time.
I recently asked my GP to test for cortisol, also because now I’ve been almost a year without any libido. It turned out that my AM cortisol was high, and she repeated it a month later and it came out even higher. Now she referred me to an endocrinologist.
I have the appointment with the endocrinologist in three weeks. Im very nervous about this appointment, and I really just want to figure out what is wrong with my body. Wish me luck 🙂
After 2 failed pit surgeries and a CSF leak repair,
BLA on Sept. 11, 2008 w/Dr. Fraker at UPenn
Gamma knife radiation at UPenn Oct. 2009
Now disabled and homebound. No pit, no adrenals and radiation damage to my hypothalamus.
My cure is God’s will, and I still have hope and faith!
During her too-short life, she provided help and support to other Cushies.
Hi y’all! I will try to make this short, but there is a lot to say.
I stumbled across this board after a google search last night. Yesterday, I finally saw a real endocrinologist. I am 39 years old. I weigh 362. I was diagnosed by a reproductive endocrinologist with PCOS at age 30, but all of my symptoms started at age 22.
At age 22, I was an avid runner, healthy at 140-145 pounds and 5’7″. I got a knee injury and stopped running right around the time that my periods just….stopped. And by stopped, I mean completely disappeared after mostly regular periods since age 12. I was tested by the student health clinic at UGA, and referred to an obgyn for lap exploration for endometriosis, which was ruled out. I remember that they ran some bloodwork and ultimately came back with this frustrating response: We don’t know what it is, but it’s probably stress-related because your cortisol is elevated.
Soon thereafter, I gained 80 pounds in about 6 months, and another 30 the next six months. Suddenly, in one year, I was 110 pounds heavier than my original weight of 140. I recall my mom and sister talking about how fast I was gaining weight. At the time, I blamed myself: I wasn’t eating right, I’d had to stop running due to the knee injury and my metabolism must have been “used” to the running; I was going through some family problems, so it must be that I’m eating for emotional reasons related to depression. You name the self-blame category, and I tried them all on for size.
Whatever the reason, I stopped avoiding mirrors and cameras. The person looking back at me was a stranger, and acquaintances had stopped recognizing me. A bank refused to cash my security deposit refund check from my landlord when I graduated because I no longer looked like my student ID or my driver’s license. I was pulled over for speeding while driving my dad’s Mercedes graduation weekend, and the cop who pulled me over almost arrested me for presenting a false ID. These are some really painful memories, and I wonder if anyone here can relate to the pain of losing your physical identity to the point that you are a stranger to yourself and others?
Speaking of size, from age 24 to 26 I remained around 250, had very irregular periods occuring only a few times a year (some induced), developed cystic acne in weird places, like my chest, shoulders, buttocks (yikes!), found dark, angry purple stretch marks across my abdomen (some of which I thought were so severe that my insides were going to come out through them) which I blamed on the weight gain, the appearance of a pronounced buffalo hump (which actually started at age 22 at the beginning of the weight gain), dark black hairs on my fair Scottish chin (and I’m talking I now have to shave twice daily), a slight darkening of the skin around my neck and a heavy darkening of the skin in my groin area, tiny skin tags on my neck. I was feeling truly lovely by graduation from law school and my wedding to my wonderful DH.
At age 26, I ballooned again, this time up to 280-300, where I stayed until age 32, when I went up to 326. The pretty girl who used to get cat calls when she ran was no more. She had been buried under a mountain of masculined flesh. I still had a pretty, albeit very round, face, though. And I consoled myself that I still have lovely long blonde hair — that is, until it started falling out, breaking off, feeling like straw.
At age 30, I read about PCOS on the internet and referred myself to a reproductive endocrinologist, who confirmed insulin resistance after a glucose tolerance test. I do not know what else he tested for — I believe my testosterone was high. He prescribed Metformin, but after not having great success on it after 5-6 months, I quit taking it, and seeing him. Dumb move.
Two years later, at age 32, I weighed 326. In desperation, I went on Phentermine for 3 months and lost 80 pounds the wrong way, basically starving. I was back down to 240-250, where I remained from age 33-35. After the weight loss, I got my period a few times, and started thinking about trying to have a baby. Many ultrasounds per month over a few months revealed that I just wasn’t ovulating. I decided to put off starting the family when the doctor started talking about IVF, etc. It just seemed risky to me — my body, after all, felt SICK all the time, and I couldn’t imagine carrying a baby and it winding up to be healthy.
At age 35, I ballooned again, this time significantly — from 240 to 320 in the space of 6 months. Another 45 pounds added by age 37, so that’s 125 pounds in two year. I’ve remained between 345-365 for the last two years, depending on how closely I was following my nutritionist’s recommended 1600 calorie per day diet….which was not all the time.
Which takes me to last year. I went for a physical because I wasn’t feeling well, kept getting sick, had a lot of fatigue, weird sweating where my hair would get totally drenched for no reason. At this point, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, hypothyroism (which has now been modified to Hashimoto’s thyroidis), high cholesterol (although this was present at age 30 when I got the PCOS diagnosis). I went back to my repro-endo, and resolved to make myself stay on Metformin this time. All last year was a series of monthly blood work and attempts to lose weight with an eye toward trying to get pregnant this year. By the end of the year, I was successful in taking off only 20 pounds, and my repro-endo (always with an eye toward fertility and not health), really pushed me to give up on losing weight at that moment and to start taking Clomid. Or else, he said. The words that broke my heart: this may be your last chance.
So, skip forward to January 2006. My ovaries are blown out and they are clear — no blockages. I get cleared to start fertility treatments. My husband undergoes his own embarrassing tests. I think we have an agenda here, but my mind was chewing on serious concerns that I was simply too unhealthy to be considering trying this. That, and I felt it would be a futile effort.
By the way, more than a year on the Metformin with no real changes to anything. Why doesn’t my body respond to it like other people with PCOS?
Then late March, I started experiencing extreme fatigue. And I’m not talking about the kind where you need to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon to gear up for the week ahead (which I’d always considered a nice indulgence, but not a necessity). I’m talking debilitating, life-altering fatigue. It didn’t start out right away to be debilitating — or maybe I just made the usual excuses as I always do relating to my health: I’m still getting over that flu/cold from last month. I just got a promotion at work (though I note a greatly reduced stress and caseload now that I am a managing attorney. My weight is causing it. Whatever.
I let it go on for a full two months before I started to really worry, or admit to myself that my quality life had taken a serious downward turn. You see, despite my weight and my scary appearance, I have always been the “director” type. By that I mean that last year, I worked with two other women to direct 100 volunteers to start a summer camp for inner city kids, and I had enough energy to run this ambitious new project and to film, produce and edit a 30 minute documentary on it by the end of the summer.
In contrast, I had to take a backseat this year. I basically sat in a chair and answered the questions of volunteers, made a few phone calls here and there, and was simply a “presence” in case something major went wrong. Such a major change from the year before, where I was running the whole show 14 hours a day and loving it.
But I am getting ahead of myself. (Is anyone still reading this? I must be narcissitic to think so….yet, I wonder if anyone else has gone through a similar progression….)
Back to May. After two months of this fatigue, I change to a new primary care physician and get a whole workup: blood, urine, thyroid ultrasound, cardiac stress test, liver ultrasound when my enzymes, which had been slightly elevated, were found to have doubled since January. Appointments with a gastroenterologist, and FINALLY….a REAL endocrinologist. Ruled out any serious liver problems (and my levels, surprisingly, dropped back to the slightly elevated level in a space of 3 weeks and no treatment).
Yesterday, I heard a word I’d only heard spoken once before in my life: Cushings. Way back when I was 22 and had started gaining weight so rapidly, I had a boyfriend who worked the graveyard shift at the local hospital. He spent the better part of a non-eventful week of nights pouring over medical books in the library. He excitedly showed me the pages he’d photocopied, which had sketches of a woman with a very rounded face (like mine), striae on her stomach (like mine), abdomenal obesity (like mine) and a pronounced buffalo hump. Although my former boyfriend was just a college student working his way through his music degree by earing some money moonlighting as a hospital security guard, he was the first one to note all of these tell-tale signs.
When I got my diagnosis of PCOS, I remember discounting his amateur diagnosis, and I never thought of it again.
Until yesterday, when my new endo asked me if anyone had ever tested my cortisol or if I’d ever done a 24 hour urine test. I said no, and he started writing out the referral form along with like 15-20 different blood tests. And although we’d started our appointment with him telling me he agreed with my repro-endo’s encouragement to go ahead and try to get pregnant if I can, by the end of the visit, he was telling me not everyone is meant to be a parent, there is always adoption, etc. The only thing that happened during the appointment was that I gave him my basic history of weight gain, described the fatigue, and let him examine my striae, buffalo hump and legs (which were hidden under a long straight skirt). The question about the urine screen and corisol came after this physical exam, during which he was taking lots of notes.
Then the word, which was not spoken directly to me but to his nurse practioner as I was making my two-week appointment in the reception area outside the examining room: “She looks classic Cushings. I’ll be interested to get those results.”
Cushings. Cushings. No– that’s not me. I’m not that weird-shaped, hairy, mannish-looking, round-faced, hump-backed creature my boyfriend had shown me a picture of 16 years earlier. I have PCOS, right? It’s just my fault. I don’t eat right. If I’d just eat better, I wouldn’t be 2.5 times my weight in college. Right?
I quickly came home and did an internet search. Within an hour, I was sitting in front of the computer, reading some bios here and BAWLING, just crying some body-wracking sobs as I looked at the pictures of the people on this board. Here, here (!!!!) is an entire community who has the same, wrenchingly painful picture-proven physical progression that I went through. The same symptoms and signs. Words of encouragement — of….hope. I didn’t feel scared to read about the possibility of a pituitary tumor — last year, I had a brain MRI of the optic nerve because of sudden vision irregularities, headaches and shooting eye pain. The MRI showed nothing, but then again, the image was not that great because I had to go into the lower-resolution open MRI due to my size.
I have no idea whether I have Cushing’s Syndrome or not, but these are my first steps in my journey of finding out. After living my entire adult life with an array of progressive, untreatable, brushed-off symptoms (and years of self-blame for depression, obesity, becoming so unattractive), there was a major “click” as I read this site, and a sense of relief that maybe, just maybe, what I have has a name, I’m not crazy/fat/ugly/lazy, the PCOS diagnosis, which has gotten me nowhere is incorrect, and I might have something TREATABLE.
So, without going so far as to say I hope for a diagnosis, I am hopeful for some definitive answers. If my urine tests are inconclusive (and my doctor only ordered one and no serum cortisol tests), I am going to fly out to L.A. and see Dr. Friedman for a full work up.
And, I’ll keep you posted.
Thank you for posting your stories, which have encouraged me to advocate for myself in a manner and direction, which this time, may be fruitful.
Be well, my new friends,
Kate
p.s. I will post some pictures this week after I scan some of the “after” one….I try to avoid the camera at all costs. I’m sure you understand just what I’m talking about, and for that, I am truly grateful.
A young woman saved her own life after successfully self-diagnosing cancer/Cushing’s that doctors had missed because she researched her own worrying symptoms on TikTok.
Cleo Lambert, from Tring in Hertfordshire, had been unknowingly living with a cancerous tumour growing behind her liver for years.
Her life started to fall apart two-and-a-half years ago when her GP was unable to provide answers to the painful symptoms she was suffering.
However, this all changed when the prospective fashion student undertook a TikTok scrolling session in the summer of 2024 and noticed a post which told her she may have a rare condition called Cushing’s Syndrome.
The 21-year-old undertook a TikTok scrolling session in the summer of 2024 and noticed a post which told her she may have a rare condition called Cushing’s syndrome.
Her findings prompted doctors to order an X-ray, which revealed a 17cm cancerous mass had been growing inside the 21-year-old.
It was surgically removed and she immediately began life-saving chemotherapy.
Due to the size of the growth, medics told her that without the operation that year, she would not have survived.
Cleo’s findings prompted doctors to order an X-ray, which revealed a 17cm cancerous mass had been growing inside her.
“Doctors told me the tumours are ‘usually between 3-4cm, 5cm is more serious.'”, she told the Female Lead.
“They told me that mine had likely been growing for years and there was a chance it could even be cancerous.”
“A doctor also told me I’d probably saved a year of time based on how long a Cushing’s diagnosis could typically take. I think if I’d waited another year, with the size the tumour already was, I’d be dead.”
In the two-and-a-half years prior, Cleo had suffered from painful bouts of bloating after eating and had been putting on weight.
Cleo was seeing her usually thick locks of hair thinning at a rapid rate.
GPs initially told her she had polycystic ovary syndrome, a common hormonal disorder affecting women that was not curable but manageable through lifestyle choices.
But Cleo’s health continued to decline further and new symptoms – such as irregular periods, exhaustion and unexplained bruising – left her unable to leave her own house.
Desperate to find out what was wrong with her, Cleo managed to get a endocrinologist appointment booked in, but had 12 weeks to wait until she saw them.
It was during that period that Cleo undertook some research on the social media platform and found she had Cushing’s Syndrome – a rare condition caused by prolonged exposure to the stress hormone cortisol in the body.
“I saw a video that said: ‘Do you have these symptoms?’ and it listed extra weight around the stomach, a puffy face, exhaustion, hair loss, excessive hair growth in unusual places. I was reading a checklist of my life,” Cleo told the Female Lead.
“In the comments, people mentioned something called Cushing’s syndrome. I Googled it and immediately knew: this was me.”
Cleo ended up going down a “researching rabbit hole” into a “corner of health” she had never heard of before.
Armed with a mountain of research, Cleo went to her appointment in July 2024 and presented her theory, which the doctor agreed with.
Tests showed her cortisol levels were absurdly high, measuring at 1,334 nmol/l on one measure, where the normal level is around 135 nmol/l.
But more shockingly, X-rays revealed that Cleo had a 17cm tumour, the size of an aubergine, pushing up against her stomach and growing into her liver.
Cleo’s symptoms first started appearing after she returned home from travelling around Australia in the summer of 2022.
Despite being a regular gym goer and healthy eater, she was gaining weight easily and seeing her usually thick locks of hair become a lot thinner.
After being told she had PCOS, Cleo started to make changes to her lifestyle to see it it would help.
“I blamed the contraceptive pill and stopped taking it, but nothing changed,” She said.
“The doctors told me I had PCOS which I could manage it with diet and lifestyle changes. I cut out coffee, reduced carbs, stuck to low-impact exercise.”
But Cleo’s symptoms only got worse and things started to spiral in February 2024.
“My periods were irregular, I felt exhausted all the time, and I was getting strange new symptoms,” she said.
“I was getting nosebleeds, unexplained bruising, stretch marks spread across my body, appearing even from stretching after workouts.”
Alarm bells began to sound even louder when Cleo’s freshly inked tattoo left her arm with bruising on it for weeks, something which had never happened before.
She had been hoping to start university that summer, but her rapid health decline had left her not wanting to leave the house.
“The most frustrating part was not having any answers,” she said.
“No one said I looked different except my older sister, and I appreciated her honesty.
“I was desperate for answers. I felt like I was in someone else’s body and I knew there was something wrong, but felt helpless not understanding what it was.”
But thanks to her TikTok diagnosis, Cleo’s chemo treatment finishes this month and she is hopeful of going on holiday this summer and potentially go to university this September, a year later than planned.
As well as being grateful to the helpful content regarding her symptoms, Cleo also praised TikTok for enabling her to connect with other young woman and girls who were suffering from Cushing’s Syndrome.
“TikTok has played another role in my health journey. It helped me connect with a girl who’d been through almost the exact same thing – first misdiagnosed with PCOS, then later discovering she had Cushing’s too.
“Finding people my age going through similar experiences has been incredibly reassuring.
“While the UK’s National Health Service website is helpful, nothing compares to hearing real stories from creators on TikTok who are living it.
“I’d often reach out to them directly with specific questions, and those conversations gave me reassurance that medical information alone couldn’t.
“If you’d told me everything I was about to go through, I would’ve shit myself. But going from diagnosis to operation in two months meant there was no time to overthink, which was a weird kind of blessing.
“So, if you think something is wrong, trust your gut. You know what is normal for you. Keep pushing for answers. And keep scrolling on TikTok.”
This is another Golden Oldie. I’m not sure when it was last written or updated by Natalie but it was updated by me after she died April 21, 2008.
~~
Hi! My name is Natalie, I am 35 years old and I’ve been married for 15 years. I don’t have any children at this time, but we are in the process of adopting. We can hardly wait for our little one to show up on our doorstep. We live down in southern Maryland at this time. I grew up in southern Virginia on a farm. My Dad is still farming; he raises peanuts, corn and soybeans. He has had 2 battles with colon cancer and is still hanging in there. He gives me inspiration. I have my Mom and Grandmother still living home on the farm too and we get there as often as we can. My sister lives near by my parents and has 2 boys. They spend a portion of every summer with us.
There is so much to tell, I really don’t know where to start. I had my official diagnosis in Jan. of 1990. But after all of the information I have learned over the years, I fully believe that it could have started as early as childhood. We will never know for sure.
When I graduated from high school in 1983, I was a happy go lucky teenager with a steady boy friend and many friends. My first year of college was great. I had a lot of fun and thought I had made so many new friends. Joe (boyfriend then, now my husband) left for Marine Corps Boot Camp in the spring of 1984. That was hard but I adjusted fine and was glad to see him come home that summer. In the fall when it was time to go back to school I was a different person. I withdrew from my friends and I pretty much kept to myself. After a weekend visit from Joe, I slipped into a deep depression. I stopped going to class and to work. My so-called friends didn’t want anything to do with me. I started having headaches and dizzy spells. I was really scared. No one knew what I was feeling or would even try to understand. I ended up dropping out of school and went back home. I didn’t want a job; I just stayed home and did baby-sitting jobs. My nephew was born in August of 1985 and I took care of him full time until Joe and I was married in June of 1986.
On our wedding day I cried all through the picture taking. I was very happy but cried anyway. We went to the Blue Ridge Mountains for our honeymoon, I got stung by a bee, got a speeding ticket, and we had no air conditioning in our truck. It was truly one to remember. We came back and moved to North Carolina, where Joe was stationed at the time, and I cried for the next 2 weeks. I had never been that far away from home before.
As a child I had a bad case of asthma and now all of a sudden I’m having no problems. Little did I know that my body was treating itself with cortisol. In Jan. of 1987 I had a doctor’s appointment with my Allergist.
I was told then that I had High Blood pressure and to keep check on it. I was also beginning to be very emotional around this time. I would cry over nothing.
I started having migraine headaches while Joe was away on a deployment. My parents came and took me to the ER and because I had not been able to eat for 3 days and I was living in the dark because the sunlight was killing my head. Again I was told that it was High Blood pressure. Joe came home and left again in June for 6 months on the ship. I moved home and didn’t have any problems that summer. I moved back to Carolina in the fall so that I could get our house ready for Joe’s home coming. The real nerve racking part was that Joe’s ship was part of the mine sweeping going on in the Persian Gulf during 1987.
1988 was a pretty good year. Not too many problems except for headaches. But 1989 is a different story. I fell apart this year. In the spring I broke out in this strange rash that wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t find a doctor that could tell me what it was. Not long after that my periods stopped, we were really excited thinking that we were finally going to have a baby, WRONG! I went 3 months without a cycle; I still had the rash, headaches and high blood pressure. You would think that this would have alerted my OB GYN that something was wrong. Joe came home one day and found me doubled over and took me to the ER and we found out that I had kidney stones. Over all this time I am steady gaining weight. The stones passed and then tests were done and everything was fine there. Finally I decided to go to see Dermatology for the rash and was treated for severe acne. On my second visit with them the doctor took a look at my entire medical record and excused himself from the room. A few minutes later he returned with a doctor from Internal medicine, he took one look at me and said that I was the classic Cushing’s case. Then he went on to explain it to me. This was in Nov.1989. The tests began and I had a CT Scan done in Dec of that year that I didn’t get the results from until after Christmas. They showed a tumor on the pituitary and I was told to go to Portsmouth Naval Hospital right away. We took off and headed to Virginia not knowing what to expect. I was admitted the next day and had a week of peeing in a jug and lots of bloodwork. I was sent home with my surgery scheduled for Feb. 1990. Well, being the Navy, my surgeon was called away and my surgery was delayed until March.
I had transphenoidal surgery in March 1990 and they removed what they could but it had invaded the sinus cavity and they couldn’t get it all. I was sent home on hydrocortizone and had 2 episodes where my cortisol levels dropped too low and had to go the ER. Once I was weaned off I was okay and actually felt pretty good. I had monthly 24-hour urine tests run and they began to come back high again. I was put back in the hospital in Portsmouth and all the tests came back normal. I was sent home and a couple of months later they were high again. Again I went to the hospital and sent home normal. What’s going on here? The next time this happened I demanded that something be done. The head of the Endo dept. (I won’t mention any names, but Handiman knows him personally) tried to tell me that I was faking it so that my husband wouldn’t have to go the Desert Storm. I talked on of the interns to schedule me for an appt with the radiation oncologist and they determined that the tumor was still growing and that I needed to have radiation. Joe was scheduled to go to the desert but he was pulled from that duty and assigned to recruiter’s asst. and we moved to Virginia to my parent’s home for 60 days while I underwent 31 days of traditional radiation to the pituitary. I went back to Carolina feeling more at ease that something had been done. The rash went away but I continued to gain weight and still had Blood pressure problem, but was now being treated for it.
I was doing really well and Joe went away again for 6 months in Oct.1991. He was gone that Christmas, which was hard but I handled it ok. When he returned he had orders to go to Atlanta, GA. I was doing well and we packed up and went. I didn’t like the endo I saw there so I continued my 6-month check ups in Portsmouth when went home to visit.
In the summer of 1994, I started having problems with my left eye and thought it was allergies. I went to the eye doctor and after examining me he sent me to a Neuro Ophthalmologist who ordered a MRI and guess what The Tumor’s back! It was pressing on the optic nerve causing what they called a third nerve palsy. I was treated with medication until Jan 1995, hoping that the tumor would shrink but it got worse. I began to have double vision and my left eye closed completely. In the spring of 95 I again underwent Transphenoidal surgery at Emory University under Dr. Oyesiku. He was great. I also had a great endo there, Dr. Lewis Blevins (he is at Vanderbilt in Tenn. Now). They still could not retract the entire tumor so I went back in August of that year and had Sterotactic Radiation Surgery. That was a one time radiation and it was a real experience. I had a metal Halo drilled into my head and I had CT scans and MRIs done with it one to determine the exact location of the tumor, then I was placed in a chair that spun in very slow circles while the radiation was being done. When I arrived back in my room they couldn’t find the key to take the halo off, so I had to wear it for another 2 hours until they found it.
It has now been almost 6 years since the last radiation and my current MRIs show some shrinkage of the tumor. I am currently battling high cortisol levels again but I think if we can find the right dosage of medicine it will level off. I am currently taking meds for: thyroid, high blood pressure, estrogen, diabetes, medication to control cortisol, allergy medication and every 3 months I take hormones to make me have a menstrual cycle. But over all I am doing OK.
My husband is out of the Marine Corps now and we live in Maryland. We are in the process of Adopting. We are really excited about this and can hardly wait to get our little one. My husband and Family have been so supportive of me through all of these years and I don’t know what I would have done without them and my close friends.
I feel like I have made many friends here also. This site has been a great help to me and I hope that my story can help someone else.
Take Care everyone!
Natalie
~~
MaryO Note: Natalie had a BLA in March, 2008. She died April 21, 2008. In Memoriam
Natalie Fay
Monday, April 21, 2008
Natalie Fay (Natalie65), died April 21, 2008. She was only 42 and had recently had a BLA. I first met Natalie at a local lunch in November of 2001 and have seen her several times
since then.
Natalie started the original “Dammit Dolls” that circulated around the country until people refused to pass them along anymore.
Some recent past posts.
February 10, 2008
going to UVA I am going for my first visit with Dr. Hanks at
UVA on the 20th. I will also see Dr. Vance that day. I haven’t seen her before
either. I am planning on having bilateral adrenal surgery in March. I am a
little nervous about this, but it is going to be a positive thing I hope. I
would love to hear from anyone who has had this done so that I will have an idea
of what to expect. after surgery.
I’m back! It has been a
very slow week and I’m just satrting to feel like moving around again. I had BLA
on the 10th and came home on friday. My parents have taken my boys (3 & 6)
home to Va. I have missed them so much this week, but I think it was the right
thing to do. I don’t know how I would have done it without them. I am still very
sore and tired at times, but I’m coming along. Sorry this has taken so long to
get out to you guys, I thought things were taken care of but I was wrong. Oh
Well! I’m doing good and I’ll keep in touch. Thanks for all of your thoughts and
prayers.
Natalie
Message Board Signature:
pit surgery 1990
traditional 30 days
radiation 1990
pit surgery 1995
sterotactic radiation surgery 1995
2004
still have remaining tumor
cortisol levels still off balance
BLA March 10,
2008
Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Linda, Jayne, me and Natalie – all in Cushe Colors [Photographer: Robin]
Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Jayne, Linda, Natalie, MaryO and Dianne [Photographer: Robin]
Our first local DC area Cushie lunch November 17, 2001 with Jayne, Linda, Natalie, MaryO and Dianne [Photographer: TomO]
Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 all the families [Photographer: Robin]
Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO [Photographer: Robin]
Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO [Photographer: Robin]
Our second local DC area Cushie lunch February 9, 2002 with Jayne, Marcia, Heather, Natalie and MaryO. LynneInVa made the roses for us from candles. [Photographer: Robin]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with lots of us! [Photographer: Robin]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Pat, MaryO, Ruth, Natalie, Susan, Jayne [Photographer: TomO]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Pat, MaryO, Ruth, Natalie, Susan, Jayne [Photographer: Robin]
Our next local DC area Cushie lunch May 4, 2002 with Joe, Jed and Catherine [Photographer: Robin]
Our three families: Tom and MaryO, Natalie and Joe, Robin and Jayne…and kids [Photographer: a waitress]
Our three families: Tom and MaryO, Natalie and Joe, Robin and Jayne…and kids [Photographer: a waitress]
TomO being silly, stealing Catherine’s nose. [Photographer: Robin]
Courtland, Virginia– Natalie Grissom Fay, 42, passed away April 21, 2008 at St. Mary’s Hospital in Leonardtown, Md. She was born in Petersburg, Va, a daughter of Edward Scott and Nan Lucy Grissom and was a 1983 graduate of Southampton High School. Natalie actively supported several Cushing Support Groups, and was a member of the Patuxent Presbyterian Church. Surviving in addition to her parents is her husband, Joseph P. Fay; two sons, Joseph Edward (Jed) Fay and Nathan Lee Fay all of Hollywood, Md.; one sister, Annette G. Stephenson of Courtland, Va.; two nephews, Scott and Vance Stephenson; and her father-in-law, Edward K. Fay and wife, Sunee, of Deltona, Fl. The funeral will be conducted at 2 pm Friday at Wright Funeral Home with the Rev. Edmund Ellis officiating. Burial will follow in Riverside Cemetery. The family will receive friends from 7 to 9 pm Thursday at the home of Edward and Nan Grissom, 16046 Wakefield Road, Courtland, and suggest that in lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Cushings Help, c/o Mary O’Connor, 4094 Majestic Lane, #328, Fairfax, Va. 22033.
A diagnostic technique called bilateral inferior petrosal sinus sampling (BIPSS), which measures the levels of the adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) produced by the pituitary gland, should only be used to diagnose cyclic Cushing’s syndrome patients during periods of cortisol excess, a case report shows. When it is used during a spontaneous remission period of cycling Cushing’s syndrome, this kind of sampling can lead […]
Cushing’s syndrome (CS) is a disease which results from excessive levels of cortisol in the human body. The disorder is associated with various signs and symptoms which are also common for the general population not suffering from compound hypersecretion. Thus, more sensitive and selective methods are required for the diagnosis of CS.
Cortisol testing is not routinely done during medical check-ups, and there currently aren’t any at-home tests available to assess cortisol levels. Most healthcare providers only recommend testing for cortisol if there are symptoms indicative of conditions like Cushing’s syndrome.
Researchers at the Medical College of Wisconsin determined that Cushing syndrome, an endocrine disorder, may be the potential cause for weight gain and metabolic complications for patients who have undergone bariatric surgery for obesity. The study, published in the journal Obesity Surgery, was conducted by Ty B. Carroll, MD, assistant professor of endocrinology; James W. […]
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